I've had T since I was 18 (26 now) and I'm now starting to contemplate ending my life. It's something I know that's not me, but the thought keeps crossing my mind, this how bad things have gotten.
I believe my ears and tolerance to sound are lower than the average person combined with bad genes. I'm confident I caused some minor damage at 12/13 at these loud dance events I wen't to where I frequently got temp. T. At 18, I wen't to a music festival where I didn't wear plugs. I had a temporary threshold shift last a good 10+ min there and I came away with it with bad T. After 5-6 months the T came to it's natural base and I coped with it. Mild and I slept with out masking or anything. The T stayed the same for years, nothing changed it, food, drinking, ect. I kept away from seriously loud places and all was well I thought.
Fast forward almost 8 years later in June of 2015 a loud wood saw was used outside my window in the condo entrance nextdoor (we're connected), it echoed amplifying the sound no doubt, and wen't into my room a mere 10 feet away above while I was sleeping. A awoke in a daze and covered my ears and panicked, a mere 10-12 seconds of it as I sit in my room trapped with my ears covered with the palms of my hands. I of course in rage slammed my window shut no doubt hurting my ears even further. It took 6 days later to finally realize at night that wow, my T was higher. Since that day, I had a few weeks of fullness in my ears, major T fluctuations and a hard time. Not only with loudness increase, higher pitch and a looming almost low freq. booming sensation that engulfed my head when it was quiet. I had my ears tested and they were great, like 8 year old kid great, but never got the higher freq. above 8k tested because they didn't have the ability. So I assumed my damage is there.
I tried my best to cope and mainly rested my ears only getting some exposures from planes flying by or a loud car slamming if I wen't to store and by January of this year I was feeling improvement. Maybe 30-40% better. I started to move to my new place at the end of Jan. and my ears were feeling a lot better. I could sit in the silence and I was sleeping with the T np. The high pitch freq. in left ear from initial trauma was now mild in loudness and not high pitch, and I had a FANTASTIC static like T. From that point and 3 weeks into living in my new place it was fine. Then last Friday I hit a bowl on sink and it made my left ear full (I seem to have that issue with sudden loud noises of certain frequency). The next day it was still full feeling and T was a bit higher. Low and behold 2 MILITARY JETS low flying came over my room with my windows open, it was so sudden and out of nowhere and lasted a good solid 20 seconds; I was in a state of shock. I pushed the tragus of my ear inward to seal my ear in panic. I had ear muffs nearby and I could of left the room, but I was scared to put my hands down. I stuck my head in closet and panicked as the sound seemed extremely loud even through my closed ears.
Since that day, my left high pitch tone increase and T in general felt elevated. I just hoped it would get better, and sadly, just like the wood saw incident, I seem to have been fully affected days later. Yesterday night I tried to sleep like I usually do in my room which an ambiance of 25-30db or so and almost threw up from it being so different. It was just high pitch, a new tone like a faulty electrical wire that sparks every few seconds and another looming T low freq. tone like before was present in full force. It was unbearable and completely different. It is now even more reactive than before to sounds like me typing right now or even clicking mouse (little T spikes on each sound of the click or typing ect.). My H seems to be worse too, as trying to use a philip electric razer to do my sideburns brought my discomfort when it was near my ear and it can't be any more than 85db. I no longer awake with the low static in background with a minor tone above it.
I am convinced now from this that my ears got damaged again, which I can't believe. My ears in same shape or form, are completely and utterly on the verge of breaking down further and further from previous damage. Is there some way to find out the extent of damage, any doctor, anywhere in world that anyone knows that can test with some scan to see. I'm convinced of something seriously wrong, whether ear hairs or the actual neural transmitters that are dead. I'm now worse than I ever have been and I can't function or just sit here any longer and wait weeks to see if it goes away. Something is damaged badly and I'm scared that even 95-100db sounds are causing me damage. All it took was a supposedly 110 wood saw originally for 10 seconds to change my world. I really need to identify the extend of my damage somehow.
I believe my ears and tolerance to sound are lower than the average person combined with bad genes. I'm confident I caused some minor damage at 12/13 at these loud dance events I wen't to where I frequently got temp. T. At 18, I wen't to a music festival where I didn't wear plugs. I had a temporary threshold shift last a good 10+ min there and I came away with it with bad T. After 5-6 months the T came to it's natural base and I coped with it. Mild and I slept with out masking or anything. The T stayed the same for years, nothing changed it, food, drinking, ect. I kept away from seriously loud places and all was well I thought.
Fast forward almost 8 years later in June of 2015 a loud wood saw was used outside my window in the condo entrance nextdoor (we're connected), it echoed amplifying the sound no doubt, and wen't into my room a mere 10 feet away above while I was sleeping. A awoke in a daze and covered my ears and panicked, a mere 10-12 seconds of it as I sit in my room trapped with my ears covered with the palms of my hands. I of course in rage slammed my window shut no doubt hurting my ears even further. It took 6 days later to finally realize at night that wow, my T was higher. Since that day, I had a few weeks of fullness in my ears, major T fluctuations and a hard time. Not only with loudness increase, higher pitch and a looming almost low freq. booming sensation that engulfed my head when it was quiet. I had my ears tested and they were great, like 8 year old kid great, but never got the higher freq. above 8k tested because they didn't have the ability. So I assumed my damage is there.
I tried my best to cope and mainly rested my ears only getting some exposures from planes flying by or a loud car slamming if I wen't to store and by January of this year I was feeling improvement. Maybe 30-40% better. I started to move to my new place at the end of Jan. and my ears were feeling a lot better. I could sit in the silence and I was sleeping with the T np. The high pitch freq. in left ear from initial trauma was now mild in loudness and not high pitch, and I had a FANTASTIC static like T. From that point and 3 weeks into living in my new place it was fine. Then last Friday I hit a bowl on sink and it made my left ear full (I seem to have that issue with sudden loud noises of certain frequency). The next day it was still full feeling and T was a bit higher. Low and behold 2 MILITARY JETS low flying came over my room with my windows open, it was so sudden and out of nowhere and lasted a good solid 20 seconds; I was in a state of shock. I pushed the tragus of my ear inward to seal my ear in panic. I had ear muffs nearby and I could of left the room, but I was scared to put my hands down. I stuck my head in closet and panicked as the sound seemed extremely loud even through my closed ears.
Since that day, my left high pitch tone increase and T in general felt elevated. I just hoped it would get better, and sadly, just like the wood saw incident, I seem to have been fully affected days later. Yesterday night I tried to sleep like I usually do in my room which an ambiance of 25-30db or so and almost threw up from it being so different. It was just high pitch, a new tone like a faulty electrical wire that sparks every few seconds and another looming T low freq. tone like before was present in full force. It was unbearable and completely different. It is now even more reactive than before to sounds like me typing right now or even clicking mouse (little T spikes on each sound of the click or typing ect.). My H seems to be worse too, as trying to use a philip electric razer to do my sideburns brought my discomfort when it was near my ear and it can't be any more than 85db. I no longer awake with the low static in background with a minor tone above it.
I am convinced now from this that my ears got damaged again, which I can't believe. My ears in same shape or form, are completely and utterly on the verge of breaking down further and further from previous damage. Is there some way to find out the extent of damage, any doctor, anywhere in world that anyone knows that can test with some scan to see. I'm convinced of something seriously wrong, whether ear hairs or the actual neural transmitters that are dead. I'm now worse than I ever have been and I can't function or just sit here any longer and wait weeks to see if it goes away. Something is damaged badly and I'm scared that even 95-100db sounds are causing me damage. All it took was a supposedly 110 wood saw originally for 10 seconds to change my world. I really need to identify the extend of my damage somehow.
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