Member- May 16, 2017
- 3,754
- Tinnitus Since
- 04/2011
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Syringing + Somatic tinnitus from dental work
I No Longer Have Any Strength to Face Another Day
- Thread starter valeri
- Start date
I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles Greg, as if tinnitus is not enough to deal with....
Thank you and wishing you the strength too!
Looks like we both need it!
I wouldn't worry too much about this drug.
No injections will ever help tinnitus, unless it's a drug similar to epilepsy drugs I don't even waste time reading about it let alone hold any hope!
Oh Valeri - I am so sorry.
I keep thinking how terrible it must be to have this vile limiting hateful thing and be much younger.
How do you say goodbye to your lovely life?
The crushing disappointment of watching friends and family live on without this monstrous thing.
And they can never understand the extent of the pain, can they?
I simply don't know what to say.
I wish I had a magic wand Valeri, we would all be well.
I think we can only strive to find the best coping methods, anything that might help.
I use melatonin (2mg) if I need help with longer sleep.
Meditation does help me quite a bit, but it doesn't seem to help everybody.
Thinking of you sweetheart,
Dave x
I went to a residents barbecue in the park where we live yesterday.
One kindly neighbour, knowing something about my problem, asked with an overly sympathetic look on her face,
"Dave....do you feel alright?"
"Yes I'm okay Rita."
"But....are you really alright....??"
"Well you know what I cope with don't you Rita,
I have permenant noise in my head, and I just have to cope with it."
"Can you hear it right now?"
"Every second of my life Rita"
"Yes...but can you hear it right now?"
"Every second of my fucking life!"
Honestly - I despair at people's ignorance and stupidity!
(Incidentally - she is a doctor's receptionist !!!)
One kindly neighbour, knowing something about my problem, asked with an overly sympathetic look on her face,
"Dave....do you feel alright?"
"Yes I'm okay Rita."
"But....are you really alright....??"
"Well you know what I cope with don't you Rita,
I have permenant noise in my head, and I just have to cope with it."
"Can you hear it right now?"
"Every second of my life Rita"
"Yes...but can you hear it right now?"
"Every second of my fucking life!"
Honestly - I despair at people's ignorance and stupidity!
(Incidentally - she is a doctor's receptionist !!!)
I missed my own mother's funeral because she died before I had turned the corner with this condition. So I wouldn't be too hard on yourself about this.
Hi @valeri
I understand a lot of what you are going through. My T is also highly reactive. I can't step outside without hearing protection and even then my hearing can still easily get damaged. I cant handle gas car's even and had to get a EV. For 3 years I didn't leave my home except for medical issues. Only just recently do I venture out once a week to the once place thats quiet enough for me to sit and relax and that a cemetery. And over the years my T has only gotten worse. And its loud and intrusive. I can hear it over a shower. So I know what its like feeling stuck. All my goals and dreams were wiped away. My parents have passed. I have no family. And the only reason why im not on the street or institutionalized is because my job didn't fire me and let me work from home. So I get it. I really do. But as time went on, I focused on what I could do with this new life with T, being home bound. And I started to find new things to keep me productive. New dreams, new goals. Creating at home. Once I had a chance of perspective, ideas came flooding in. And that helped my situation greatly. That and getting a cat to keep me company. And I know this isn't forever and you shouldn't feel that way either. There is so much coming down the pipeline in research. But until then, try to find new things that make you happy. A goal or dream to accomplish. You know, when my T gets worse, I say to myself "well what the heck can I do about it now? nothing. Oh well, just don't do THAT again." I too have thought about traveling for stem cell therapy. But the trip would probably make my T a lot worse and would ruin me completely. But if its to the point where I'm saying this is the end. I want out of this life, then I'd take my chances and make that trip as a last resort. Probably by boat, not by plane. Also acceptance is big part of it. When my T was just starting to spiral out of control, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I could be home bound by it or never listen to music again. But it did. And I've accepted it. I got used to reading subtitles on movies. If I didn't, it would drive me crazy. But im not gonna let it. Bruce Lee once said "be the water". To flow with changes. Each day I look outside my window and I wish I could just step out side, but I dont because I dont want to make my T worse. And so I find things to do to keep my mind busy. And honestly, I have so much I want to do and create now. So I am not wasting these years, And this wont be forever and I hope you can feel the same. And try to find something that can keep you focused and productive at home. Draw, paint (have you seen how amazing following a class or two with Bob Ross is? OMG. I love making happy little clouds now), write a book, start a youtube channel, find some new hobby you've only considered but never tried, learn a new skill, take an online class, sharpen existing skills. Dig down deep, there is bound to be something. And when that cure arrives, you will come out not only stronger, but smarter. Try to move forward and not lament on what you could do before in the past. Trust me, it doesn't help. Like really. Its the worst thing you could do. Oh I would do that and I just end up crying. So its no bueno. Focus on what you can do now. There's a lot. If you need help then share more about what you wish you could do and we'll go from there. OK?
I understand a lot of what you are going through. My T is also highly reactive. I can't step outside without hearing protection and even then my hearing can still easily get damaged. I cant handle gas car's even and had to get a EV. For 3 years I didn't leave my home except for medical issues. Only just recently do I venture out once a week to the once place thats quiet enough for me to sit and relax and that a cemetery. And over the years my T has only gotten worse. And its loud and intrusive. I can hear it over a shower. So I know what its like feeling stuck. All my goals and dreams were wiped away. My parents have passed. I have no family. And the only reason why im not on the street or institutionalized is because my job didn't fire me and let me work from home. So I get it. I really do. But as time went on, I focused on what I could do with this new life with T, being home bound. And I started to find new things to keep me productive. New dreams, new goals. Creating at home. Once I had a chance of perspective, ideas came flooding in. And that helped my situation greatly. That and getting a cat to keep me company. And I know this isn't forever and you shouldn't feel that way either. There is so much coming down the pipeline in research. But until then, try to find new things that make you happy. A goal or dream to accomplish. You know, when my T gets worse, I say to myself "well what the heck can I do about it now? nothing. Oh well, just don't do THAT again." I too have thought about traveling for stem cell therapy. But the trip would probably make my T a lot worse and would ruin me completely. But if its to the point where I'm saying this is the end. I want out of this life, then I'd take my chances and make that trip as a last resort. Probably by boat, not by plane. Also acceptance is big part of it. When my T was just starting to spiral out of control, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I could be home bound by it or never listen to music again. But it did. And I've accepted it. I got used to reading subtitles on movies. If I didn't, it would drive me crazy. But im not gonna let it. Bruce Lee once said "be the water". To flow with changes. Each day I look outside my window and I wish I could just step out side, but I dont because I dont want to make my T worse. And so I find things to do to keep my mind busy. And honestly, I have so much I want to do and create now. So I am not wasting these years, And this wont be forever and I hope you can feel the same. And try to find something that can keep you focused and productive at home. Draw, paint (have you seen how amazing following a class or two with Bob Ross is? OMG. I love making happy little clouds now), write a book, start a youtube channel, find some new hobby you've only considered but never tried, learn a new skill, take an online class, sharpen existing skills. Dig down deep, there is bound to be something. And when that cure arrives, you will come out not only stronger, but smarter. Try to move forward and not lament on what you could do before in the past. Trust me, it doesn't help. Like really. Its the worst thing you could do. Oh I would do that and I just end up crying. So its no bueno. Focus on what you can do now. There's a lot. If you need help then share more about what you wish you could do and we'll go from there. OK?
Rita what part of "every second of my fucking life" you don't understand???
Dave I'm with you, ignorance, ignorance and more ignorance!
Thank you Sean!
I must admit that loss of a job hit me enormously.
But as I said before, if it wasn't for this damn reactivity I could easily find another job, problem solved.
It has cost me dearly (stress wise) but I pushed my employer a step from the court and NOW they are willing to negotiate.
Before this they, apparently, didn't have any responsibility.
They said they can only offer me work in the hospital where I sustained that aircon injury but now the story changed, they can offer me employment anywhere in State health!!!!
And that's a lot of options!
Who would have thought! But it makes me feel good that "some" Valerie kept pushing and pushing, as far as it could go.
They knew I wasn't going away! I wasn't done!
Mentally this ruined me but I wouldn't have it any other way! It was a matter of principle for me! And let me tell you, if principle get in the picture I'm like a wounded animal.
Unfortunately the damage to my ears is not getting better, and I will, just like you, explore the possibility of working from home.
Even if it's for few days a week it would greatly improve my self worth and purpose.
I love my family very much but I also need things for myself, just for myself!
Luckily I have a very supportive GP so I'm sure with his help this can be organised.
It sucks, big time, to go from A to Z
- Mar 6, 2018
- 496
- Tinnitus Since
- Jan 20/2018
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Most likely accoustic trauma
I wish there was a way you could give these people just one week sample of what you are going through.
Im the exact same way, if I didn't have this reactivity, my life would be as it was before. Has your reactivity gotten better at all since onset or worse? Mine has gotten slightly better. I can handle some things without causing it to spike like the refrigerator in the kitchen, doing the dishes and recently I can finally use a window air conditioner in another room while the door is open.
One of the worst things for me was my gardener. My apartment is smaller than a bathroom at Arby's and the gardeners would mow right next to my bedroom window. One thing I did to combat it was get custom window sound barriers made. It was a life saver.
How sensitive is your reactivity? Can you use a telephone?
Unfortunately mine is only getting worse.
I'm not sure if this can be due to enormous stress that I've been through in the last 14 months.
It definitely wasn't this severe immediately after aircon incident at work.
It was creeping in, slowly and occasionally at first with aircon at home, than microwave, clothes dryer, neighbors cars, while driving..... so basically anything that has low frequency sound (I didn't even know the world is absolutely loaded with them)!!!
We also live close to a main road and the peak traffic every single day will send me straight to hell. You know that sound of cars and trucks from the distance....
We can't use central heating (winter here) but small electrical heaters.
I'm absolutely dreading summer coming because we can't use aircon. We may need to put that one that goes on the wall, somewhere I can't hear it at all.
I would love to move somewhere isolated, forget about all the noise I have to endure every day.
Phone I use on speaker only and not for long, talking sometimes seems to make it worse.
Is your reactivity to low frequency sounds too or sounds in general?
How do you "feel" it?
Unfortunately mine is only getting worse.
I'm not sure if this can be due to enormous stress that I've been through in the last 14 months.
It definitely wasn't this severe immediately after aircon incident at work.
It was creeping in, slowly and occasionally at first with aircon at home, than microwave, clothes dryer, neighbors cars, while driving..... so basically anything that has low frequency sound (I didn't even know the world is absolutely loaded with them)!!!
We also live close to a main road and the peak traffic every single day will send me straight to hell. You know that sound of cars and trucks from the distance....
We can't use central heating (winter here) but small electrical heaters.
I'm absolutely dreading summer coming because we can't use aircon. We may need to put that one that goes on the wall, somewhere I can't hear it at all.
I would love to move somewhere isolated, forget about all the noise I have to endure every day.
Phone I use on speaker only and not for long, talking sometimes seems to make it worse.
Is your reactivity to low frequency sounds too or sounds in general?
How do you "feel" it?
Well I'd suggest consider getting some window barriers for one room in your house that you can kinda of call your safe room from noise. They make a huge difference. I buy all my sound proofing stuff at a place called Acoustimac. This is the sound panel I got for both my bedroom windows. When the gardeners come I also use a custom insulated cardboard box I crawl into and used this eco insulation in-between. All this is to prevent further damage. As for air conditioners, yes, you should get one that goes on the wall outside. I have been near them and am ok with them. As for heat, I highly recommend getting oil based radiator. They are dead silent. No moving parts. This is the particular model I use. Other life savers for silence was using a MacBook laptop. There are no fans or spinning hard drives. It'd dead silent. For sound protection I recommend these ear plugs and ear muffs, these. For cars, the ones I found quiet enough inside are any EV. For gas the best ones so far are every Mercedes I've sat in. Even ones from 10 years ago. I also rented a Chevrolet Cruze and it was very quiet. Here is a website I found also that rates decibels levels inside cars. Could be helpful when buying a new car. One thing I do is I use a sound meter on my iPhone to compare cabin noises at a particular speed. Very helpful. I just bought a window air conditioner and its pretty quiet. quieter than smaller units. its bigger one. I measured only 36 decibels with it on high from another room. I read this one is very quiet as well. even more so. but if you can do the half in, half out kind, thats the best way to go. I live in a apartment so I can't do that right now.
My frequency is at 11khz. so high frequency is my issue and why I can't do phones.
Thanks Glynis,
I think enough time has transpired now to confidently say the stems helped me.
I am still breathing. Better since I've taken 2 courses of a cephalosporin, so thinking it may have been a strep overgrowth, rather than lyme.
xxxd
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