I See No Other Way But Suicide Now

[AnxiousJon]

Is this louder than it has ever been? How often do you get tinnitus spikes? Is there anything else that could have spiked your tinnitus that you took or did yesterday?

Can antidepressants cause ringing in the ears (tinnitus)? If so, what can I do about it?
Answers from Daniel K. Hall-Flavin, M.D.

Ringing in the ears (tinnitus) can be caused by a number of medications, including some antidepressants. Not all antidepressants cause tinnitus. If your antidepressant is the cause of your tinnitus, switching to another medication may solve the problem, but don't quit taking your medication without medical guidance.

Antidepressants are a less common cause of tinnitus than are other types of medications — such as aspirin, anti-inflammatories, caffeine or some antibiotics — or underlying health conditions. Some causes of tinnitus include prolonged exposure to noise, blood vessel disorders, diabetes, allergies and other medical, neurological or mental health problems. Tinnitus can also be caused by age-related hearing loss or a buildup of wax in the ear.

You'll need to work with your doctor to determine whether your antidepressant or something else is causing your tinnitus. Your symptoms may go away when the underlying cause is treated.

If the underlying cause isn't clear — or treatment doesn't help — you may benefit from a device similar to a hearing aid that helps mask the ringing. A change in medication and counseling also may help you cope with tinnitus.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/tinnitus/expert-answers/tinnitus-causes/FAQ-20057804

 

[Andersson]

I don't know really. Its more intrusive, it feels louder. But I dont know if its my anxiety that increases it even more or not.

I feel I am in a panic state in my body.

Dont know about spikes really, but its been kinda all hell since November with ups and downs in how I feel.

I just dont know what Im gonna do. Keep taking it or not, worried ;/

 

[glynis]

Anderson,
Your AD medication will help and any side effects will soon stop.
If you find your anxiety worse at the start take your diazepam to help you and after the first week your side effects should have settled down.
Keep posting for support as we are all here for you.....lots of love glynis

 

[AnxiousJon]

I feel I am in a panic state in my body.

Diazepam is good for this; I had to take a very similar drug because my SSRI made me worse the first couple weeks.

I don't know really. Its more intrusive, it feels louder. But I dont know if its my anxiety that increases it even more or not.

Anxiety can very much increase tinnitus, but anxiety also makes things seem bigger and scarier than they are. For now take the diazepam and see what that does. It should take away the panic state which is probably causing both an increase in tinnitus and how much you notice it.

 

[Aaron123]

I just wanted to point out that earlier you said

I have been on fluoxetin in 2013 and back then it did not make my T worse

While it is possible that it didn't have an effect before and does now, it seems more likely that the apparent increase is due to the underlying anxiety you feel now and your focus on your T.

Also, you said earlier that you only have a few diazapam left. I would suggest talking to your doctor and getting a prescription. You don't want to be on that long term, but it can be helpful to get through particularly anxious parts.

Good luck.

 

[billie48]

I don't know really. Its more intrusive, it feels louder. But I dont know if its my anxiety that increases it even more or not.

I feel I am in a panic state in my body.

Dont know about spikes really, but its been kinda all hell since November with ups and downs in how I feel.

I just dont know what Im gonna do. Keep taking it or not, worried ;/

If you are truly depressed and have suicidal ideations, then you should work out with your doctor on the right AD to use. Don't let T rule your life. You are panicking because you are giving T and the ringing too much power over your life. Sometimes, accepting & surrendering to the reality of T (and the inevitable initial sufferings) and move on with life, doing nothing for T is the answer. T is there, the rest of your life are also there. Live the rest of your life and give T the boot, doing nothing for it and not tip-toeing around it may help deal with the extreme emotions you are facing with. This member did just that after he got freaked out by T initially and having tried everything, and he got better after doing nothing for T. Just one of the strategies out there for you to consider.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/doing-nothing-worked-for-me.4778/

 

[Andersson]

Sat for 4 hours this morning contemplating if I should keep taking it or not.
But decided to keep taking it, will see how it feels tomorrow. But I want to see if it can help my depression,anxiety or not at least some what so I can cope easier.

I still just feel that T is the only thing that brings me down, that I have no depression but my therapist, phyciatrist etc all say that I do in fact have a depression, even if T is the main trigger there is underlying issues that makes T worse.

I also am not sure, I know dry mouth is a very common sideeffect and I have been having a very soar throat from yesterday morning (1 day efter I started on 10mg)
It can be a coincidence, and I might have caught a cold or something (I notice it quite early usually on my throat or headaches)
So right now I am not sure if its due to the AD, or If I have a small cold comming that also can make my T worse before onset.

All I know is that my T have been more intrusive since I began the AD Tuesday morning, soar throat followed yesterday morning and worse today.
My anxiety is still higher but I guess its only been 2 full days with it so far, and I got high anxiety over even taking them which makes it worse.
More tired, quite a lot of headaches as well.

Will continue to try and cope and see if I can get past the 2 weeks and see how I feel (Its planned to raise to 20mg next Tuesday, and then stay there for some time)

 

[RaZaH]

"underlying" hate that term ,heard that too .. makes no sense to me , if i did not have T I would be the happiest person in the world , I have an awesome little company , and I made music for game trailers , was really taking off for me .

Fuck underlying !

 

[Cristian Ro]

I will repeat this like a broken vinyl: ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING?
1. Have you tried the new medicine available in 2018? (I found here some news about it). I guess you didn't tried.
Two years of waiting versus a whole life destroyed... what will be your choice?
2. Think that you are in a war. For example, you're a soldier in WW2. Tinnitus is bullshit compared with all the noises and fears of a soldier just 70 years ago. Well, be that soldier for couple of years, just experience a small part of a war.
3. Think that you're a homeless in a busy city. All the time in a an environment full of noise...
4. Before suicide, what do you think to fill up your donor card? Why you should end your life for nothing? Some people need a heart, a kidney, a liver, other parts of you... Are you available to do this, to "spare" you through other bodies?
---------------
I personally get very mad about my tinnitus. I didn't do anything to deserve this, life is unfair. My way of fighting is "action". Today I am a soldier on a battlefield...

 

[Eltel]

New medicine ? .Something will arrive to help at somepoint ..I hope !

 

[Sailboardman]

Me before T ..me after T

However, I plan on riding out, this royal pain in my ass, as long as I can!

 

[AnxiousJon]

@Andersson
For crying out loud, take the Diazepam. Someone undergoing this state is exactly who that drug was created for. Please take it.

 

[Andersson]

Thanks for the support all.
@RaZaH Yes I dont like it either. But I had depression/anxiety problems years before i got T.
And the fact is that I don't like my life really, I have no friends, no family, no job, live in a place I hate.

And even with me having not cared about T at all for the last 3 years until November when it decided to flare up for some reason. I did not really like my life then either, I just "moved along" so to say. No Idea why I did not do anything positive back then when T was never an issue for me (First year was hard to learn to live with it, but I did it)

So that is the only reason I can think off that I do have a depression beneath the T which is the main problem for me without a doubt.

@AnxiousJon I took a oxazepam I think its called (Sobril), I only have a few Diazepam so I am worried about getting used to those and no doctor will prescribe more of those.
Helped a little bit at least, but not a huge amount.

I guess I will keep trying to fight this, whatever it is anxiety, depression, tinnitus only or something else

 

[AnxiousJon]

Doctors prescribe Diazepam or Clonazepam for a month's supply. Mine did and lots of people here have taken them for longer. I was only prescribed a few days worth at the ER; my doctor got me a larger prescription. Who told you no doctors will prescribe more? You should try the diazepam sometime if you haven't; you aren't going to get hooked from one dose. Just don't take it at the same time as the Sobril.

 

[Andersson]

Here in Sweden they are very restricted to prescribe Diazepam, Xanax is close to impossible for example to get prescribed.
And with me having suicide thoughts (and more) on paper makes it even more impossible.

He prescribed more Sobril and told me to take 1-2 a day for a week now. Still not sure If I want to take 1-2 each day. Not really up to take that much but maybe Its worth it if it can help a bit early on.

I tried a Diazepam 2 days last week when something happened to my right ear as well, it calmed me down quite a lot.
I have severe tensions in my neck as well so I guess it was more muscle relaxant.
Still trying to get help with tensions but waiting for another physical therapist for that, everything takes so much time.
Been waiting for CBT therapy for months and still nothing nearby. (national healthcare can be really slow here) And going to private one is impossible.

 

[AnxiousJon]

Oxazepam(Sobril) is a less powerful variant of your diazepam. They are both Benzodiazepines. I would take 2 a day if that is what is allowed by the prescription; we need to get you feeling more stable. Will you be able to get more for next week?
Tell me about your neck. Some people have been finding out that their neck has been casuing tinnitus.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/possible-neck-issue-tinnitus.506/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/i-am-new-here-and-need-to-share-my-info.8366/

 

[glynis]

Hi @anderson,
How are you getting on with your AD med ?
Glad you have other meds calm you down a little but in time the AD will calm you down too .
I never thought a small tablet would get my smile back and im living proof they do work and you will be fine too as the medication starts to work .
How are you feeling in yourself today ?....lots of love glynis

 

[Thericker]

Andersson hang in there. I know this sucks to hear but give it time. I was once in your same spot. Mine just disappeared one day. Don't know if you are religious but one guy told me while I was considering the same thing...what if your "hell" for suicide was listening to this tinnitus for eternity. That scared the shit out of me. Luckily I didn't act drastically and today I have a great life.

 

[AlexSongitus]

When I first got mine 7 days 6 days ago I kept saying to myself even being deaf is better than this, at least you get silence. Well fast forward to today, when Prednisone brought mine down to almost nothing, I talked to an acquaintance of mine about it, he says oh I know all about T. He said I have crickets in my left ears and rock sounds in my right, and I have had this ever since I went completely deaf in both years 15 years ago...don't worry, you get used to it. So I said, wow and here I was wishing for deafness. I said well hopefully stem cell research will have a breakthrough in hearing regeneration. He said oh well I suffer from a hereditary disease, and I'm wearing an implant that is attached to my brain stem. It translates voices so that my brain can interpret the sound, everything sounds robotic, but it helps with lip reading, and if I stand in front of a person I can even hear almost 85% of what they say. He goes on to say, I finished college, I got married, I got a career that satisfies me, I'm used to it by now, I just hope they have something better in case my children ever have to go through this.

Boy do I feel stupid for even mentioning I wished for becoming deaf instead of T to him. So no matter how bad it is, there are worse things in life, and people that have made it through, and believe it or not, he was the one lifting MY spirits!

Something to think about!

 

[Ron Robles]

Who takes Prozac and for how long and how many mg , and how does it make you feel all day , they gave me 20 mg to take in the morning and i am afraid to take it , I take lorazepam 0.5 mg 4 times a day not to bad but want off of them too , had open heart surgery on 5 / 5 / 2014 iam afraid of these pills but I started getting anxiety. And needed something any body with I a natural cure for anxiety. Please help.

 

[AnxiousJon]

Who takes Prozac and for how long and how many mg , and how does it make you feel all day , they gave me 20 mg to take in the morning and i am afraid to take it , I take lorazepam 0.5 mg 4 times a day not to bad but want off of them too , had open heart surgery on 5 / 5 / 2014 iam afraid of these pills but I started getting anxiety. And needed something any body with I a natural cure for anxiety. Please help.

Start a differnet thread Ron. There's plenty to talk about.
Actually, Andersson might want to see this stuff too.
GABA instead of benzo/Lorazepam
http://www.amazon.com/NOW-Foods-Gaba-750mg-Vcaps/dp/B0013OVZAG/ref=pd_sim_121_2?ie=UTF8&dpID=41DBryuKi4L&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR88,160_&refRID=120A5V3YF038SYZXFP75

5-htp instead of an anti-depressant
http://www.amazon.com/NOW-Foods-5-H...c&ie=UTF8&qid=1454041703&sr=1-2&keywords=5htp

DO NOT TAKE 5-HTP with an SSRI drug(Prozac[fluoxetine]), 'can be deadly. I don't know if it is safe to take a GABA supplement with a GABA drug like Lorazepam; check with your doctor about any drug/mood supplement combo before using.

 

[Andersson]

Went to bed last night, woke up after 1 hour with the tinnitus screaming, was in panic and had cold sweats and had to take a diazepam to calm myself down and get to sleep.

Woke up now and just shivering, feeling horrible and anxiety is raising through the roof.
I dont know If I want to continue this antidepressant ;/

 

[glynis]

How many days have you taken it now for @anderson ?....lots of love glynis

 

[AnxiousJon]

Can you get your doctor on the phone, or have him call you back about this? When is the next time you can see him? Is there any other medical help line you can call?
If you can't make it to the 3-week mark, you could try lamotrigine aka Lamictal or another drug in this class(anti-convulsant/mood-stabilizer). I believe it works immediately.

 

[Andersson]

@glynis 4th day.

I called my doctor at the psychiatry, he said that I should go to the emergency unit, so been there.
Talked to doctor there and well, not much that was done.
He said that since I tried so many different AD and had severe reactions to almost all of them that fluoxetin is the "last" one since it is generally the kindest.

He still thought that I should continue at it but take 2-3 Sobril per day, first one the same time I take my fluoxetine, then one in the late afternoon and one 2 hours before bed If I feel I need it.

I still dont know what to do, If I should keep trying or not, I have not taken one today (its 3pm now)
That thing tonight and today scared me so much, I took a sobril 5 hours ago and it calmed me down a tiny bit, but I am a bit stressed I feel.

The nurse took my blood pressure and it was quite high as well, but I was in a panic state when I arrived there, so was not really calm.

 

[AnxiousJon]

I didn't know you had tried many AD's. Did all of them make you more nerveous?
How many Xanax and Diazepam you got left?
Isn't there a psych ward where they can give you a room, monitor your symptoms and progress with meds, and visit you, giving you regular counciling?

 

[billie48]

When I first got mine 7 days 6 days ago I kept saying to myself even being deaf is better than this, at least you get silence. Well fast forward to today, when Prednisone brought mine down to almost nothing, I talked to an acquaintance of mine about it, he says oh I know all about T. He said I have crickets in my left ears and rock sounds in my right, and I have had this ever since I went completely deaf in both years 15 years ago...don't worry, you get used to it. So I said, wow and here I was wishing for deafness. I said well hopefully stem cell research will have a breakthrough in hearing regeneration. He said oh well I suffer from a hereditary disease, and I'm wearing an implant that is attached to my brain stem. It translates voices so that my brain can interpret the sound, everything sounds robotic, but it helps with lip reading, and if I stand in front of a person I can even hear almost 85% of what they say. He goes on to say, I finished college, I got married, I got a career that satisfies me, I'm used to it by now, I just hope they have something better in case my children ever have to go through this.

Boy do I feel stupid for even mentioning I wished for becoming deaf instead of T to him. So no matter how bad it is, there are worse things in life, and people that have made it through, and believe it or not, he was the one lifting MY spirits!

Something to think about!

Thanks for sharing this story. While we are looking for ways to help our T, this story confirms what we have been saying, that our reaction to T determines the intrusiveness. Your friend's T after deafness is similar to Zoe Cartwright, a pretty lady who has T since young 15 when she became completely deaf. Her T was %^^#& loud and unmaskable, according to her. Yet she chooses to accept her reality and moves on with her life, and made it to university where she made a short tinnitus film. She even said she loves her life and consider T just a slice of her life. Amazing. Her story and her film link are on page 14 of the Positivity Thread. Like you, I have since used her as a guiding light. At least I could mask my T even partially, but hers is unmaskable, like your friend's. Her story and now your friend's are examples that even unmaskable T is livable, especially if we learn to moderate our reaction to it and give it time. The brain will get used to this given time. Until there is a magic drug to heal T, managing and moderating our reaction to T is one viable way to make living with T easier.

 

[glynis]

@Andersson,
Usually AD medication side effects kick in 48 hours from the first tablet and the worse side effects the next 48 hours then you start to settle down so I think you are over the worst now.

I would keep taking them and your relaxing meds and im sure over the weekend you will start noticing less side effects.
I take a slow release one and im as happy as Larry now and definitely laughing and smiling and full of confidence and you will get to that stage too ..lots of love glynis

 

[AlexSongitus]

Thanks for sharing this story. While we are looking for ways to help our T, this story confirms what we have been saying, that our reaction to T determines the intrusiveness. Your friend's T after deafness is similar to Zoe Cartwright, a pretty lady who has T since young 15 when she became completely deaf. Her T was %^^#& loud and unmaskable, according to her. Yet she chooses to accept her reality and moves on with her life, and made it to university where she made a short tinnitus film. She even said she loves her life and consider T just a slice of her life. Amazing. Her story and her film link are on page 14 of the Positivity Thread. Like you, I have since used her as a guiding light. At least I could mask my T even partially, but hers is unmaskable, like your friend's. Her story and now your friend's are examples that even unmaskable T is livable, especially if we learn to moderate our reaction to it and give it time. The brain will get used to this given time. Until there is a magic drug to heal T, managing and moderating our reaction to T is one viable way to make living with T easier.

No doubt. He was an inspiration for me. And it wasn't all he lost. I forgot to mention it also took his sight in one of his eyes. I was like "woah". And his attitude towards life was very optimistic and upbeat despite all of those setbacks. Then I read an article of a perfectly healthy, successful 58 year old man just last month threw himself off a cliff on day 6. And that was mainly due to doctors telling him "there is no cure, get used to it". Very sad, and I wish he would have found this forum. I think it really is important to come to a place like this and talk to people to get courage and perspective, and different outlooks. If I simply just went to an ENT and took his word for it, I would be in the same boat, very lost, I wouldn't have learned about AM-101, I probably would be freaking out even more now on day 2, seeing my T back and Prednisone not doing anything today when yesterday I had total silence. Thanks to this forum, I learned it's pretty common to have these types of set backs, but that it gets better again.

So OP, hang in there, and remember we are all in the same boat, and while we can have our bad days, it's not the worst thing in the world, even if at times it may seem that way. Don't give up hope, tomorrow will be a better day!

 

[rzhang]

Hang in there dude! We're all rooting for you!