I Think This Is the End for Me

No she done the opposite I think, the sounds came on and were loud, I asked her to stop after like the second frequency.

She walked in and told me that those sounds were actually at minus decibels but they still sounded far too loud and painful. I have a frequency generator on my phone and they don't sound anywhere near as loud as what came out of the headset this I don't understand.

That's really strange. You have to be able to tolerate sounds louder than what you heard during the hearing test (if the audiologist was telling the truth).

What medications have you tried to calm those neurons down? I know medications are not a permanent solution, but they can help in the short term.

What have doctors told you about your symptoms?
 
Bill,

It saddens me to hear this. The symptoms you describe look similar to those of trigeminal neuralgia, which can cause all kinds of nerve-related malfunctions. Like Ed said, this can be caused by nerve compression. I would get this checked out (and hopefully excluded) as soon as possible.

All the best and please keep us updated!
 
Bill,

It saddens me to hear this. The symptoms you describe look similar to those of trigeminal neuralgia, which can cause all kinds of nerve-related malfunctions. Like Ed said, this can be caused by nerve compression. I would get this checked out (and hopefully excluded) as soon as possible.

All the best and please keep us updated!
My neuro says its peripheral neuropathy(which includes the trigeminal nerve, facial nerve auditory nerve etc)

He reckons my symptoms are coming from my auditory nerve which can influence other nerves in the peripheral nervous system(referred pain)as he called it.

This was all caused by noise and noise only so it's without question to me what's causing this, I will have myself checked for compression in the mean time to rule that out after that it's Stemcells etc as one last ditched effort.
 
No she done the opposite I think, the sounds came on and were loud, I asked her to stop after like the second frequency.

She walked in and told me that those sounds were actually at minus decibels but they still sounded far too loud and painful. I have a frequency generator on my phone and they don't sound anywhere near as loud as what came out of the headset this I don't understand.

Jesus, Bill, this is outrageous! But you know a clear cause of your worsening, it's not like you got worse out of the blue. Then it would have been much worse, to have no explanation. Give it some time! You will get better! Loud sounds throw all of us back. Happened to me to because of a damn incredibly loud and sudden firecracker sound in the first minute of the New Year (some way to start a new year, right?)
Just give it time. Your fears are understandable, but are making your T and H worse!
Let me tell you what happened to me a while ago: because of T I began to see all kinds of "healers" that I would have dismissed as "crooks" when I was healthy, but T makes one irrational.
One quack that told me that two nerves are touching each other, and that i have a demyelinating disease and I must avoid cold and humidity at all costs. One evening I remained without money for cab so I waited in cold and humidity for a night bus. After that I remembered what that quack told me. Words cannot describe what fear made out of me, but I will try.
I have somatic T too. That means that when I tense my neck muscles, especially SCM, I get another sound. But after that scare that I stayed in cold and humidity aand that made my multiple sclerosis to progress (multiple sclerosis that exists only in the imagination of the quack, or not even there), my usual T as well as somatic T went to whole new level: my constant T became unbearable, beyond hell, and my somatic T spread to my face muscles, meaning that the tinest contraction of any of my face muscles triggered a loud T sound. An ambulance was called for me too. I could not walk anymore. Could not stay straight, could not move normally anymore, my whole body got sick, as for my face...I cannot even describe...I can't even remember all the symptoms I had then. I remember though that later I started to have serious convulsions....

My whole face stings and pains me to the point of blanking out, the right side of my face feels like I'm having a stroke with extreme pain and pressure followed by extreme migraines!
I am positive that all your symptoms that you are describing are psychosomatic. The audiogram was a shock and upset you a lot and you somatised your suffering. The suffering of your psyche passed into soma (the body) and manifests like that. It is a well known phenomenon! Psychosomatization!
http://www.wellbeingcenter.co/article.php?Psychosomatization-Mind-Body-Connection-5
This is just one link that I found in a hurry about psychosomatization, but I am sure that there are better ones. Read about this phenomenon! I am positive this is what you are experiencing.
Now, if knowing that only stress is the cause of all your new symptoms is not enough to calm down and make the symptoms go away, go to the hospital and tell them what happened and ask them to calm your nervous system with meds. Yes, that means that I am telling you to go to psychiatric hospital. I am aware how badly this sounds, but if you get some meds that will make you sleep long enough and deep enough, you will wake up with your nervous system calmed down and without all those new symptoms that stemmed from your scared mind. You are not crazy. The symptoms are real. It's just that the body are connected and sometimes a mental anguish can morph into physical symptoms like that.
Trust me on this one! It's psychosomatization from the very bad experience you had at the audiologist. Nothing more! It will go away!
 
Peripheral tinnitus is fixable in most circumstances. If nerves are cut or some other treatment is performed then that could fix the tinnitus as well. I doubt an audiogram is able to directly cause physical damage to your nervous system. Also a second opinion may be good and look into Cochlear implants.
 
Bill, what decibel level can you tolerate without it making things worse?
I have no idea Alue that's the thing, I literally have no idea whatsoever!

It's so difficult to describe but I could get in my car, wear earmuffs and earplugs, drive to the store not at all bothered by the noise, get my groceries not bothered by the noise, get in my car and return home completely fine.
Then about 10 minutes later I get overwhelmed by this stinging burning nerve pain throughout my body, the pain comes on after the fact if that makes sense? The frustrating thing is I could get in my car and do the very same thing an hour later and feel no pain whatsoever! I just never know what's too much for me as the pain isn't really instant, I get hit by a sound and I may or may not experience a worsening of my pain. A good example is when I went to dinner with my girlfriend a few months back, I wore earplugs and muffs and the noise didn't bother me, I couldn't really feel any instant worsening or increased pain whilst we enjoyed our meal so I stayed and enjoyed ourselves. We got back to our hotel room and I took off my hearing protection, at first my ears felt a tad raw but then my whole head and body just stung like I was lying in a bed of needles! I had to sit in a warm bath all night just to help a little until we got home.My sound tolerance is one thing but I fail to account for my pain tolerance, that's where I believe I'm going wrong, I never had pain with H prior to March 2016.
 
Ohh yes they'd do it alright but I don't see that as the answer if I'm honest.

I have thought about it a lot but I have a few reasons as to why I won't do it,

1)It will destroy any natural hearing I have which will be a huge mental blow to me, you can't beat normal hearing, a CI implant is just static noises from what I've read.

2)Any regeneration/repair therapies that come out I won't be eligible for and knowing my luck I'll get the implant and a treatment will suddenly become available.

3)If my theory is correct that my T and H are somewhat related to auditory nerve damage then a CI implant won't help that, it will just be T and H but now through an electrical cochlea stimulating still damaged nerve fibres.

4)It can worsen T or make it better but still a huge gamble.

I haven't marked it off completely but it just doesn't sound viable to me right now, if I was half deaf I would consider it but I'm just trying to find better options which as we all know are slim to none.

The thing is I'm not even sure my audiogram was done right, I mean it shows extreme sensitivity in my right ear but I know my left ear is my worst ear but according to this it's better than my right ear? I don't know what she did, and she's the best in Ireland supposedly!
 
@bill 112, I'm sorry to hear that you're in so much pain. I hope you can hold on at least long enough for your stem cell treatment.

Do painkillers still work on you, at least to remove the edge?
 
Not really Alex, I've tried numerous meds now and none help or at least give very little help like diazepam for example. It chilled me out but done nothing for the pain and of course it's not a long term solution either.Im looking into getting some beta blockers like Lyrica for example and see how that goes.

Funnily enough a friend of mine arrived up to my house yesterday after he seen the ambulance in my garden, he rolled me up three joints and told me to smoke them before bed.
At first I was reluctant to go anywhere near it, I haven't smoked one of those things since I was 15 lol.
Today out of pure desperation I gave in, lit up two of those guys and out of every med I've tried so far these gave me by far the most relief! Calmed me right down, helped me sleep and actually stopped the weird one sided face pressure I was having. Lot to be said for weed, helped me a lot more than I thought it would.
 
Lyrica probably would be a good idea to try Bill. I'm currently taking 150mg x 2/day. I supposedly have peripheral neuropathy, according to a Mayo clinic autonomic nerve test. Good luck and take care. I hope your body and mind can calm down.
 
I have no idea Alue that's the thing, I literally have no idea whatsoever!

It's so difficult to describe but I could get in my car, wear earmuffs and earplugs, drive to the store not at all bothered by the noise, get my groceries not bothered by the noise, get in my car and return home completely fine.
Then about 10 minutes later I get overwhelmed by this stinging burning nerve pain throughout my body, the pain comes on after the fact if that makes sense? The frustrating thing is I could get in my car and do the very same thing an hour later and feel no pain whatsoever! I just never know what's too much for me as the pain isn't really instant, I get hit by a sound and I may or may not experience a worsening of my pain. A good example is when I went to dinner with my girlfriend a few months back, I wore earplugs and muffs and the noise didn't bother me, I couldn't really feel any instant worsening or increased pain whilst we enjoyed our meal so I stayed and enjoyed ourselves. We got back to our hotel room and I took off my hearing protection, at first my ears felt a tad raw but then my whole head and body just stung like I was lying in a bed of needles! I had to sit in a warm bath all night just to help a little until we got home.My sound tolerance is one thing but I fail to account for my pain tolerance, that's where I believe I'm going wrong, I never had pain with H prior to March 2016.

Strange. I feel for you. Just make sure you have the best earplugs and earmuffs for your flight to get the stem cell treatment. Bring a couple pairs of earmuffs, you can test them out and see which ones block out more sound. These are great: https://www.amazon.com/3M-Peltor-Ov...coding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=RQHFWKYE5TBAYRD7GX8E
 
@bill 112
So sorry to hear of your extreme pain Bill.
This will be affecting all of your decision making processes - wether you like it or not.
I think some of the brightest, strongest and most creative people I know seem to suffer the most when they are cornered by pain or change they cannot yet affect. They loose control !
Despite your current pain...you WILL have better days my friend.
Think about a good time, the sun on you face, a loved one.
If you do nothing else speak to the wonderful folk at Samaritans T -116123.
 
@bill 112, I remember reading back in December about the legalization of medical marijuana in Ireland. I hope that's something you can try out soon aside from the stem cell treatment.

For now, glad to know good old weed made you feel better.
 
P.S. Everyone, does this whole story have "crazy" written all over it? Audiogram can't cause this bad worsening. @bill 112, have you considered this might all be the product of your vivid imagination? Don't be offended I ask the question others dare not...
I can relate to what bill is going through, even though I'm not suffering as much as him these days.

This is called extreme hyperacusis / nerve damage and this is real.
 
I don't know anymore, all I do is somehow screw my life up just as it gets great again, I know what to do and what not to do but I just manage to get screwed anyway! It kills me to think back on how I got like this, the sheer bad luck of it all, the poor decisions, it's all too much to bare for me. I cared about my hearing, I cared about not making things worse but shit just happened me anyway. I shouldn't be anything near as bad as I am, it literally all came down to a moment of bad luck and that's what I can't handle! I have no life now and I never will till the day I die! Why live to be like this? I have nothing to look forward to anymore only the constant reminders of how I got here constantly eating me alive every second of everyday! My whole world is gone, I miss it so dearly.....
 
bill, you're not doing you any good with your regrets. There is no such things as "bad luck", "poor decisions", "nothing to look forward". It's all just life, H or not. You have to stop thinking about the past and look at what you have now.

You're down right now. Accept this, let it go and start again.
 
Bill, if you're still here, you need to get re-evaluated by a professional. Stop coming here and get some real help bud. Your symptoms could suggest any number of things from nerve compression to extreme emotional distress (pyschsomatic). Hyperacusis can have a really strong link to the overall wellbeing of your psyche. If you had an element of misophonia or phonophobia whilst taking the audiogram (not saying you did), then it's possible you could have caused a serious psychosomatic event, or psychological worsening of your existing hyperacusis. This would not mean that you are imagining it, because the symptoms would be real. Of course without some kind of intervention we can only speculate until you try and get to the root of your suffering.

I wish there was more we could offer. My life has been through many times of what I'd call 'suicidal suffering', and it's a horrible, awful, place to be mentally. Keep your head above the water and wait it out; better times will come and hopefully some solutions as to what's causing it.

There's a case study here that sounds very similar to yours:


A CASE STUDY:

A 52-year-old male presented with tinnitus, hearing loss and extreme hyperacusis. He reported waking up one morning at age 33 and discovering - for the first time - that the sound of running water seemed uncomfortably loud to him. Mild bilateral tinnitus began two days after this increase in "sound sensitivity." His tinnitus and sound sensitivity worsened over time, the latter evolving into hyperacusis. He developed insomnia and increased anxiety. He wore ear plugs with increasing regularity to avoid exposure to uncomfortable sounds. Over the next seven years the patient was evaluated by 5 otolaryngologists and 5 audiologists. In 1983, only one of the physicians diagnosed hyperacusis. Unfortunately this physician, like all of the others, told the patient there was nothing that could be done to improve his situation. The patient received evaluations and treatment from a psychiatrist, two psychologists, a chiropractor, an osteopath, and three different spiritual/faith healers. He took Xanax, pursued biofeedback, received transtympanic lidocaine injections, and took megadoses of vitamin supplements. The patient's condition did not improve. At age 43 he went on short-term disability leave from his once successful career in business. Six months later, his otolaryngologist certified him as 100% disabled and the patient began to receive Social Security benefits. He reluctantly but steadily retreated from life as he had lived it. The patient moved from a large city to a remote rural area in order to reduce the risk of sound exposure. He built and spent most of his time in a sound-attenuated room in the back corner of his basement. He bricked over the basement windows and boarded up the rest of the windows in his house. All floor space was carpeted. The refrigerator was moved to an outside shed. The patient stopped talking on the telephone because it seemed too loud to him. Instead, he communicated with the outside world via a TDD (telecommunications device for the deaf) and relay operators. Eventually, even his soft tapping on the TDD keys seemed too loud to him, so he wore headphones to muffle the sound of the keyboard. He still watched television, but muted its audio output and turned on the closed caption feature. There was no radio or computer in the house. The patient wore earmuffs inside the home when his activities (such as stirring powder into a glass of water) involved even minimal sound exposure. Over time he eliminated crunchy and solid foods from his diet because he could not tolerate the sound of his own chewing. He stopped shaving his face, washing his hair, and taking showers because these sounds were perceived as painful. He bathed himself using sanitary wipes. He gave his guitar to his sister because he was no longer able to tolerate the sound of the instrument he once loved to play. He stopped driving his car and rarely left his home, except to collect mail from his mailbox. He wore earplugs and ear muffs whenever he walked outside of his house because even the thought of being exposed to sounds such as birds chirping, wind blowing, or a car horn caused intense feelings of anxiety and fear. He relied on his mother and sister to do his laundry and buy groceries for him during their weekly visits. Otherwise, he was isolated from society.

The patient learned about the clinic where author NM worked by reading an article in Tinnitus Today, the quarterly publication of the American Tinnitus Association. He contacted the clinic by letter and requested a home visit by clinicians. Due to the severity of his situation, his request was granted. Conversations -- including introductions, patient history, education and counseling -- were conducted in whispered voices. Prior to initiating exams or tests, clear and concise instructions were given to the patient. He was provided with regular reassurance. His efforts and cooperation were encouraged and praised throughout the appointment.

AUDIOMETRIC RESULTS:


Otoscopic examination - accomplished slowly and carefully - revealed clean ear canals and normal tympanic membranes bilaterally. Audiometric testing was conducted with extreme caution. Headphones were placed carefully over the patient's ears. Pure tone threshold testing was done in 1 dB increments in ascending order. This procedure eliminated the risk of exposing the patient to sounds he would perceive as uncomfortably loud. Audiometric results revealed mild to moderate sensorineural hearing loss from 1000-8000 Hz in the right ear, and mild to moderately severe sensorineural hearing loss in the left ear (see Figure 1 audiogram). Speech reception thresholds and speech discrimination scores could not be evaluated due to the patient's sound sensitivity. His most comfortable loudness level was 50 dB HL. However, at 55 dB HL, the patient reported being very uncomfortable. Loudness discomfort levels (repeated twice) suggested phonophobia because the patient would not or could not tolerate any sound greater than 10 dB SL (sensation level). For this reason, the patient's tinnitus could not be matched for pitch or loudness. At the conclusion of audiometric testing, the patient showed signs of fatigue.

Figure 1. Pure tone air conduction thresholds recorded during the initial appointment
1mraz12803.gif

Most Comfortable Level: 50 dB HL
Uncomfortable Level: 55 dB HL

Even though the patient had significant hearing loss, amplification was not recommended because of the severity of his hyperacusis. A customized TRT program was initiated. To desensitize his auditory system, the patient was fitted with two Silent Star behind-the-ear (BTE) sound generators (Starkey Laboratories, Inc., Eden Prairie, MN) and free-field open ear molds. These devices generate low-level, continuous broad-band sound. To get used to the sensation of having something in his ears, the patient first wore the devices with the sound turned off. After wearing the devices this way for one week, he then turned them on with the volume control set at minimum. He was instructed to turn up the volume on the devices until their sound was "just audible" and to wear them at least two hours every day for two weeks. The next step was to wear the devices with their sound turned on at least four hours per day for two more weeks. After four weeks, the patient progressed to wearing the devices more than four hours per day and gradually increased the volume to "clearly audible." In addition to behind-the-ear sound generators, he also used tabletop sound machines and CDs to add a variety of low-level ambient sounds to his home. The patient received detailed information, education, and directive counseling regarding his hyperacusis and tinnitus. Follow-up counseling and encouragement were provided by telephone using the TDD and telephone relay initially.

As time passed, the patient started to notice improvements in his sound sensitivity and phonophobia. He reported that his concerns about walking outside were beginning to wane, but he continued to wear earmuffs when he left his home. Eventually, he decided to drive his car for the first time in six years and to do his own grocery shopping. The patient accomplished these tasks while wearing earmuffs. He began to listen to music at low volumes. He progressed from communicating through TDD and telephone relay service to using a speaker phone. The patient's diet gradually changed from liquids to soft foods and then to more solid, crunchy foods. Even though the sound of running water in the shower or bathtub still bothered him, he was again able to shave and bathe using soap and water with a cloth. One year after his initial appointment, the patient was participating in more activities inside and outside of his home. His use of earplugs and earmuffs was less frequent. He continued to exhibit phonobia, but the severity of his hyperacusis and tinnitus had decreased. He attended a few counseling sessions with a psychologist to address his phonobia. He took Remeron to treat his depression and insomnia. Twenty-seven months into the program, the patient reported he was doing very well. He had removed the bricks and boards from the windows of his house. He purchased a computer and became active on the internet helping other people who suffer from hyperacusis. He was again able to enjoy playing guitar. The patient enrolled at a local university and is pursuing a new career. As his sound sensitivity continues to improve, the patient might consider pursuing a trial period with hearing aids or combination instruments (combination of hearing aids + sound generators) in the future.

DISCUSSION:


It is difficult -- if not impossible -- to determine the particular contributions of physical vs. psychological components to this patient's condition. Physical symptoms included sensorineural hearing loss, recruitment and tinnitus. Hyperacusis evolved from increased sound sensitivity and was combined with phonophobia.

Patients with extreme hyperacusis and tinnitus often experience insomnia, anxiety, depression, and isolation.4 All of these factors were present in this case study, and must be addressed for patients to improve.

A team of health care professionals including a physician, an audiologist and a psychologist worked together to help this patient recover from desperate circumstances. Open lines of communication, professional availability and flexibility among the clinicians were vital to the success of the management program.

TRT remained the primary treatment protocol in this case. TRT is a time-intensive therapeutic process that combines patient education, directive counseling, reassurance and sound therapy. In this case, these procedures improved the quality of life for this individual who suffered tremendously from OHP.

TRT was not a quick fix. Because the patient's symptoms were complex and developed over 19 years, a considerable time commitment was necessary to facilitate improvement.

TRT does not usually provide a "cure" for tinnitus or hyperacusis, but its principles can be used to design and implement individualized management programs that provide help and relief for patients suffering from these symptoms.
 
Nice work Ed. I've read that one a long time ago, but its one I've never forgotten as it shouts hope. Now if only there were enough practitioners with such a systematic, understanding approach. There should be, given how the prevalence of this disease (and its sub-diseases) seem to be increasing.

Bill there are clearly many who love you and don't want to see you in pain...that includes most of us.
 
I can't look at my mother anymore, what's happening to me is literally killing her and as such she's in tears in the kitchen talking to the Samaritans in an effort to calm herself down.

The guilt I have is unimaginable, I'm literally killing me mother through my own stupid mistakes! I know if I end it it will in turn end her too and as such I can't do it to her, me and my mother are as close as you can get and this is beyond hard to watch right now.
This is officially the lowest point of my life now, beyond all sadness.
 
This is officially the lowest point of my life now, beyond all sadness.
I was there in May, last year. Trust me, it was exactly that : the lowest possible point. It was a conclusion to 5 months of nightmare.

I don't know how, but I got better. I'm struggling every day, but I have a life. You can get that back too. Not your "before" life, just your life.
 
The guilt I have is unimaginable, I'm literally killing me mother through my own stupid mistakes! I know if I end it it will in turn end her too and as such I can't do it to her, me and my mother are as close as you can get and this is beyond hard to watch right now.
This is officially the lowest point of my life now, beyond all sadness.


Bill, you haven't made ANY mistakes. Guilt like this will only add to your problems, and you have nothing to be guilty about. You haven't done anything that's considered irrational, so stop blaming yourself. Get off this forum and go seek real help right now.

It's incredibly unlikely that an audiogram has caused you any damage. You need to get to the bottom of what's really happening; posting on here is not going to achieve that. Try seeking emergency psychiatric help to get you through the coming days, but you must, with the help of family, find a specialist who can evaluate you in detail.

Do it now.
 
Bill, you haven't made ANY mistakes. Guilt like this will only add to your problems, and you have nothing to be guilty about. You haven't done anything that's considered irrational, so stop blaming yourself. Get off this forum and go seek real help right now.

It's incredibly unlikely that an audiogram has caused you any damage. You need to get to the bottom of what's really happening; posting on here is not going to achieve that. Try seeking emergency psychiatric help to get you through the coming days, but you must, with the help of family, find a specialist who can evaluate you in detail.

Do it now.
What Ed said. Your mental health is as much or more contributory to your condition Bill. You need therapy by a professional...perhaps a team of doctors NOW. Get to hospital and get care. At minimum, because of your distraught state of needless personal guilt, involvement of your mother's emotional level...you need medicine Bill to calm down and be more objective about your life. You can't be in your current state.
As Ed said, GET HELP NOW. There is so much that can be done to come back from where you are. So many have been in your place and now lead healthy lives.
Group hug brother.
 
I was there in May, last year. Trust me, it was exactly that : the lowest possible point. It was a conclusion to 5 months of nightmare.

I don't know how, but I got better. I'm struggling every day, but I have a life. You can get that back too. Not your "before" life, just your life.
That's the thing Foncky, I know how my life got to this point, it started with a noise trauma in November 2015 and that was when I began experiencing this pain. I took it easy for the rest of the month thinking it was only a H thing but it wasn't, it was an actual trauma! I was around a lot of noise in December and January and my left ear just went completely full with pain along with a H and T increase, my left ear was trying to warn me for two months!

I was completely freaked out, I knew I had made a desperate mistake carrying on like before, this noise had definitely put strain on my left ear and I just worsened it further with more loud noise.

I went into full damage control, trying to assess what the hell had happened, why was my ear like this? Was it the noise? But I was around these levels of noise before without issue so why was I worsening? That's when it all struck home, my left ear had gotten worse and not my right and that was the trauma ear.
I rested up in misery for the next two weeks but began to feel a lot better over time, not what I was before but better.
I knew I had to take things extremely easy, I sat down and had a long talk with my girlfriend about what was happening and that I would need to take it easy for the next year to ascertain how much damage had been done and to allow as much healing to occur as possible.

I had my hearing tested and visited my neurologist the same day and returned home at a loss, I was on my own to get better.

Now this is the devastating part!

Three weeks go by, I'm doing my sound therapy and things are rapidly improving for me, I can drive and basically be normal again as long as I don't push it too hard. I go for long walks with my girlfriend, go for drives to the countryside and man it felt great! I knew I would get better and better as long as I didn't expose my ears to any loud noise and didn't overuse hearing protection. I downloaded about 20 different nature soundtracks that I would listen to everyday on low volume, I had myself in a good stable place, the road to recovery.

And then, one night when I was listening to my soundtracks in bed through my earphones(something I had never used in my life prior to this)the volume suddenly jumped from low to full for no good or apparent reason whatsoever! To this day I can't work out why that happened it just did.
I jumped up sweating, told myself it couldn't have possibly caused any damage and returned to bed.

The next day and this pain was back with a vengeance, I tried to listen to my pink noise again and it just killed my ears in pain, everything sounded heavily distorted and now my right ear(the completely fine ear)was now waaaay worse! This was not psychosomatic, this was a real physical worsening of my hearing.

I completely lost my mind, I had now suffered an extreme trauma at the worst time possible, I had to be admitted to hospital due to how crazy I went that night, I wrote suicide letters and everything, I just simply could not believe the unthinkable had happened!
My T shot off to all sorts of new levels in both ears, prior to the pink noise the T had actually returned to baseline in the prior weeks.

When I got home I was a complete mess, I had no idea what was going to happen now but it was obvious that hearing damage had occurred, any doubts I had before were now gone, it definitely was an acoustic trauma.

I somehow managed to drag myself back from that god awful time in March, as unbelieveable depressed as I was I knew I just had to start over again.

I bought the best of hearing protection you could find, I wore it when driving or when going anywhere outside the house and I slowly but surely began to improve over the coming months again by taking it extremely easy, keeping busy and using hearing protection at all times. By August I was doing ok and returned to work against my best wishes with the use of earplugs but it soon became just too much and I had to take sick leave. I just lived a normal list life since then with the hopes that keeping busy, living life and using hearing protection I would eventually see more improvement down the road.

In December just before Christmas I worsened severely yet again and that took every bit of hope and fight out of me, I was living the dullest of lives and yet I worsened to complete unimaginable levels.Maybe I was still doing far more than my ears could handle even with hearing protection, going to dinner with my girlfriend and going to shopping malls was clearly stupid but I thought with all this hearing protection surely I won't get worse? But I did and now I have literally no fight left in me, I just look back at that misery and know there's nothing I can do to change it, I done literally everything wrong and screwed myself completely! I should have taken it a lot easier after March but I didn't, I done far too much much more then my ears could handle and as such I worsened my already horrible condition.

I just can't live with that man, if I worsened from that what's going to worsen me now? Everyday things are just getting worse and I'm completely out of control now, I have no idea how to control this anymore, there's no safe space it's all just misery.
 
@bill 112, I think you should get some medical attention ASAP as others have said here. Hindsighting is worthless. I'm in very bad shape myself today and am seeking help.
 
Bill,
i hate to see you in this situation, you deserve better
i know im asking too much ( well all are ask too much ) when we tell you to remain strong and wait a little more.
i have faith that there would be a solution for you, just try the stem cell.
remember all the stories of people you have talked to (about stem cells)
its gonna work for you too!!

You are important, you family loves you, i dont really know you, but you supported me when i got this malady.
we are in this together.
 
Bill, if you're still here, you need to get re-evaluated by a professional. Stop coming here and get some real help bud. Your symptoms could suggest any number of things from nerve compression to extreme emotional distress (pyschsomatic). Hyperacusis can have a really strong link to the overall wellbeing of your psyche. If you had an element of misophonia or phonophobia whilst taking the audiogram (not saying you did), then it's possible you could have caused a serious psychosomatic event, or psychological worsening of your existing hyperacusis. This would not mean that you are imagining it, because the symptoms would be real. Of course without some kind of intervention we can only speculate until you try and get to the root of your suffering.

I wish there was more we could offer. My life has been through many times of what I'd call 'suicidal suffering', and it's a horrible, awful, place to be mentally. Keep your head above the water and wait it out; better times will come and hopefully some solutions as to what's causing it.

There's a case study here that sounds very similar to yours:


A CASE STUDY:

A 52-year-old male presented with tinnitus, hearing loss and extreme hyperacusis. He reported waking up one morning at age 33 and discovering - for the first time - that the sound of running water seemed uncomfortably loud to him. Mild bilateral tinnitus began two days after this increase in "sound sensitivity." His tinnitus and sound sensitivity worsened over time, the latter evolving into hyperacusis. He developed insomnia and increased anxiety. He wore ear plugs with increasing regularity to avoid exposure to uncomfortable sounds. Over the next seven years the patient was evaluated by 5 otolaryngologists and 5 audiologists. In 1983, only one of the physicians diagnosed hyperacusis. Unfortunately this physician, like all of the others, told the patient there was nothing that could be done to improve his situation. The patient received evaluations and treatment from a psychiatrist, two psychologists, a chiropractor, an osteopath, and three different spiritual/faith healers. He took Xanax, pursued biofeedback, received transtympanic lidocaine injections, and took megadoses of vitamin supplements. The patient's condition did not improve. At age 43 he went on short-term disability leave from his once successful career in business. Six months later, his otolaryngologist certified him as 100% disabled and the patient began to receive Social Security benefits. He reluctantly but steadily retreated from life as he had lived it. The patient moved from a large city to a remote rural area in order to reduce the risk of sound exposure. He built and spent most of his time in a sound-attenuated room in the back corner of his basement. He bricked over the basement windows and boarded up the rest of the windows in his house. All floor space was carpeted. The refrigerator was moved to an outside shed. The patient stopped talking on the telephone because it seemed too loud to him. Instead, he communicated with the outside world via a TDD (telecommunications device for the deaf) and relay operators. Eventually, even his soft tapping on the TDD keys seemed too loud to him, so he wore headphones to muffle the sound of the keyboard. He still watched television, but muted its audio output and turned on the closed caption feature. There was no radio or computer in the house. The patient wore earmuffs inside the home when his activities (such as stirring powder into a glass of water) involved even minimal sound exposure. Over time he eliminated crunchy and solid foods from his diet because he could not tolerate the sound of his own chewing. He stopped shaving his face, washing his hair, and taking showers because these sounds were perceived as painful. He bathed himself using sanitary wipes. He gave his guitar to his sister because he was no longer able to tolerate the sound of the instrument he once loved to play. He stopped driving his car and rarely left his home, except to collect mail from his mailbox. He wore earplugs and ear muffs whenever he walked outside of his house because even the thought of being exposed to sounds such as birds chirping, wind blowing, or a car horn caused intense feelings of anxiety and fear. He relied on his mother and sister to do his laundry and buy groceries for him during their weekly visits. Otherwise, he was isolated from society.

The patient learned about the clinic where author NM worked by reading an article in Tinnitus Today, the quarterly publication of the American Tinnitus Association. He contacted the clinic by letter and requested a home visit by clinicians. Due to the severity of his situation, his request was granted. Conversations -- including introductions, patient history, education and counseling -- were conducted in whispered voices. Prior to initiating exams or tests, clear and concise instructions were given to the patient. He was provided with regular reassurance. His efforts and cooperation were encouraged and praised throughout the appointment.

AUDIOMETRIC RESULTS:


Otoscopic examination - accomplished slowly and carefully - revealed clean ear canals and normal tympanic membranes bilaterally. Audiometric testing was conducted with extreme caution. Headphones were placed carefully over the patient's ears. Pure tone threshold testing was done in 1 dB increments in ascending order. This procedure eliminated the risk of exposing the patient to sounds he would perceive as uncomfortably loud. Audiometric results revealed mild to moderate sensorineural hearing loss from 1000-8000 Hz in the right ear, and mild to moderately severe sensorineural hearing loss in the left ear (see Figure 1 audiogram). Speech reception thresholds and speech discrimination scores could not be evaluated due to the patient's sound sensitivity. His most comfortable loudness level was 50 dB HL. However, at 55 dB HL, the patient reported being very uncomfortable. Loudness discomfort levels (repeated twice) suggested phonophobia because the patient would not or could not tolerate any sound greater than 10 dB SL (sensation level). For this reason, the patient's tinnitus could not be matched for pitch or loudness. At the conclusion of audiometric testing, the patient showed signs of fatigue.

Figure 1. Pure tone air conduction thresholds recorded during the initial appointment
View attachment 12200
Most Comfortable Level: 50 dB HL
Uncomfortable Level: 55 dB HL

Even though the patient had significant hearing loss, amplification was not recommended because of the severity of his hyperacusis. A customized TRT program was initiated. To desensitize his auditory system, the patient was fitted with two Silent Star behind-the-ear (BTE) sound generators (Starkey Laboratories, Inc., Eden Prairie, MN) and free-field open ear molds. These devices generate low-level, continuous broad-band sound. To get used to the sensation of having something in his ears, the patient first wore the devices with the sound turned off. After wearing the devices this way for one week, he then turned them on with the volume control set at minimum. He was instructed to turn up the volume on the devices until their sound was "just audible" and to wear them at least two hours every day for two weeks. The next step was to wear the devices with their sound turned on at least four hours per day for two more weeks. After four weeks, the patient progressed to wearing the devices more than four hours per day and gradually increased the volume to "clearly audible." In addition to behind-the-ear sound generators, he also used tabletop sound machines and CDs to add a variety of low-level ambient sounds to his home. The patient received detailed information, education, and directive counseling regarding his hyperacusis and tinnitus. Follow-up counseling and encouragement were provided by telephone using the TDD and telephone relay initially.

As time passed, the patient started to notice improvements in his sound sensitivity and phonophobia. He reported that his concerns about walking outside were beginning to wane, but he continued to wear earmuffs when he left his home. Eventually, he decided to drive his car for the first time in six years and to do his own grocery shopping. The patient accomplished these tasks while wearing earmuffs. He began to listen to music at low volumes. He progressed from communicating through TDD and telephone relay service to using a speaker phone. The patient's diet gradually changed from liquids to soft foods and then to more solid, crunchy foods. Even though the sound of running water in the shower or bathtub still bothered him, he was again able to shave and bathe using soap and water with a cloth. One year after his initial appointment, the patient was participating in more activities inside and outside of his home. His use of earplugs and earmuffs was less frequent. He continued to exhibit phonobia, but the severity of his hyperacusis and tinnitus had decreased. He attended a few counseling sessions with a psychologist to address his phonobia. He took Remeron to treat his depression and insomnia. Twenty-seven months into the program, the patient reported he was doing very well. He had removed the bricks and boards from the windows of his house. He purchased a computer and became active on the internet helping other people who suffer from hyperacusis. He was again able to enjoy playing guitar. The patient enrolled at a local university and is pursuing a new career. As his sound sensitivity continues to improve, the patient might consider pursuing a trial period with hearing aids or combination instruments (combination of hearing aids + sound generators) in the future.

DISCUSSION:


It is difficult -- if not impossible -- to determine the particular contributions of physical vs. psychological components to this patient's condition. Physical symptoms included sensorineural hearing loss, recruitment and tinnitus. Hyperacusis evolved from increased sound sensitivity and was combined with phonophobia.

Patients with extreme hyperacusis and tinnitus often experience insomnia, anxiety, depression, and isolation.4 All of these factors were present in this case study, and must be addressed for patients to improve.

A team of health care professionals including a physician, an audiologist and a psychologist worked together to help this patient recover from desperate circumstances. Open lines of communication, professional availability and flexibility among the clinicians were vital to the success of the management program.

TRT remained the primary treatment protocol in this case. TRT is a time-intensive therapeutic process that combines patient education, directive counseling, reassurance and sound therapy. In this case, these procedures improved the quality of life for this individual who suffered tremendously from OHP.

TRT was not a quick fix. Because the patient's symptoms were complex and developed over 19 years, a considerable time commitment was necessary to facilitate improvement.

TRT does not usually provide a "cure" for tinnitus or hyperacusis, but its principles can be used to design and implement individualized management programs that provide help and relief for patients suffering from these symptoms.

@bill 112 , I'm sorry how you are feeling and I hope you don't do anything. You helped me out by us talking once and you played a big role in me even still being alive right now.

I would say really read the above if you haven't. You evidentially still have your hearing. Why not give the above a try at least on some level? Also, even if you don't, at least give stem cells a shot and eliminate every option you can before making that decision.

I can't say of course what will happen in the end. But, at least give you, your family, and your gf the best chance of getting better, even if it takes time.

Again, I'm not one to talk. I frankly find it hard myself. I turned to Christianity at the end.

From an outside perspective, I think there is still hope and you still have options you haven't explored yet. Explorer those options first.

Anyways, I hope you don't do anything. If you do, at least let me know by skype if you don't mind. I hope you find peace in whatever you do bill112. Again, I'm not claiming to be in a perfect spot either, so don't want to come off as if I am. I just hope you try to eliminate all your options first and give those options time.

Let me know @bill 112 .
 
There are nerve pain meds that may help. I had atypical facial pain when my t and h became chronic. I still get h sometimes and facial pain but not so much. Gsbapentin or amitriptyline or carbamazepine may help. Talk to GP for the pain.
 

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