Here we go again
All you people that preach happiness and hunky dory despite tinnitus good on you.
It's either that you are some super humans or your t is so bloody mild "need to look for it" to hear it type.
Maybe you should stop and think of those who have real TINNITUS and whose lives are destroyed not because of their thinking but purely because of the severity of their condition.
There's many on this board who went from highly functioning individuals to nothing.
I don't have to look for my T, I can hear it pretty much anywhere unless I'm standing directly under a fast running shower. I realize that there are people who can hear it even there, and I am not suggesting that I have the worst tinnitus of anyone here, or anything like it. But, the suggesting that my tinnitus is "mild" and "not 'real' tinnitus" is not only incorrect, but pretty bloody offensive to me.
This isn't some little lightweight deal, this is a serious, life-changing, difficult condition. But, tinnitus is
far from the only condition that qualifies, and people who make it to middle/old age without encountering something like that, are
lucky and
privileged, not "normal".
No one is suggesting that changing your thinking is a magic bullet that will make tinnitus go away. The suggestion is not "change your thinking and your condition will go away", it is "change your thinking and maybe you can learn how to stop directly contributing to your own misery and this will reduce the impact your condition has on your life".
Maybe you should stop, and listen to all the people who have had their lives completely upended by tinnitus
for a period of time, and then found another way forward. Or, maybe you shouldn't, I really have no idea, but it works okay for me.
MattK said:
The mindset some of you have is this: if someone has T and is happy then they are either lying or it's mild T. You got it so ingrained into your thinking that T is so unbearable that there is absolutely no way someone can live a happy life with it. This is a massive stumbling block keeping you down.
Yup, this exactly. I'm not happy
about my T. If I could get rid of it, I definitely would... but, I put a lot a lot a LOT of time, money and effort into doing that, and the results have been modest at best. I have put maybe a third that much effort into acceptance and mindfulness... which have not had even the
modest effect on my T which various other things do, but the effect on my life has been significant.
So, maybe this really CAN'T work for some of you. Maybe you have such bad tinnitus, and are so fucked up and lost in your own minds, that you are just stuck there forever and there's no way out. I am not you, I don't see the world through your eyes, and I can't really know. But, my bias is that I
have felt that same way some times, it is horrible, it makes the T impossible and made the future seem too horrible to contemplate... and somehow that stuff just doesn't drag me down the way it used to. I have gone from being 100% aware of this condition 100% of the time, to having huge chunks of time where it more or less goes offline and I don't think about it for hours. That's definitely not "cured" so it sure isn't "perfect"... but if I set my expectations on perfection, then I will find disappointment every time.
Again, I have no idea what will really work or not for some other person. But, I know that for myself, when I let my brain get stuck in panic mode "ahh this is horrible, my life is worthless and stupid and not worth living", then at some point I will start believing those thoughts and very quickly get to a place where I'm thinking very dark thoughts and happiness is far away. And I also know that if I steer myself back from the edge, accept current discomfort as temporary, and yes, "FAKE IT" just a little bit... over a period of days/weeks, then I get myself out of that dark place, back into a more 'normal' world where T is neither something to be embraced, nor something to be especially feared, but just another percept sitting there in the mental bin of percepts that I have available to me.
People who do not think that the ways we think and words we use to express things to ourselves are powerful, haven't done much reading about how tightly coupled cognition, emotion and language all are. "meditation changes your brain" doesn't mean 'we have foo-foo lovey-dovey beliefs and everything is awesome if you just turn on and tune in', it means "regular, strictly disciplined thinking over time changes the structure of the brain, and we have increasing amounts of imaging studies to show how and why that happens". Again, I'm not suggesting that meditation is some magic bullet, but I am suggesting that
one of the brain structures which shows reduced mass in people with severe intrusive tinnitus, has been shown in
another study to show increased mass in people who meditate regularly for a period of years
Does this mean that the same meditative practice, done by someone with tinnitus, will reduce their distress over time? Of course not, no one has done any work to attempt to answer that question. But, it's an interesting idea, and certainly might explain why so many people have reported these practices as helpful over time....
Anyway, I am done with this thread for the moment. If you want to believe that your physiology precludes any happiness in your life, you are of course free to do so, just as I am free to believe that electing the corpse of Ronald Reagan to the office of president would do great things for our great nation.