I'm Not Committing Suicide. I'm Being Murdered by Merciless Tinnitus.

Discussion in 'Support' started by Bam, Jun 7, 2018.

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    1. Wolfears

      Wolfears Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 20/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Most likely accoustic trauma
      Nobody said anything about locking yourself inside house...by all means go outside.
      There are literally hundreds of activities that don't involve loud noises.
      Go fishing, rake the leaves, shovel snow etc..
      Just don't be taking stupid risks such as going to concerts, clubs, loud parties, movies. weddings...etc... and wear protection when operating loud appliances and machinery.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    2. Autumnly
      Wishful

      Autumnly Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise-induced
      You don't have many options left when you have severe tinnitus and severe hyperacusis. I completely agree that not everyone with tinnitus needs to go to extreme measures to prevent it from worsening but when you're at the severe end of the spectrum there's only so much more you can endure. You're new to tinnitus, I'd say this thread is more for severe sufferers who haven't improved (much) or whose tinnitus has worsened. But your condition might still improve and many people with tinnitus still lead good lives. I think many severe sufferers are just tired of being told that they could be coping better if they just wanted to.
       
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    3. Alex Matyjasek
      Not amused

      Alex Matyjasek Member

      Location:
      Spain
      Tinnitus Since:
      8 September 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress? Who knows...
      I know having severe tinnitus is a completely different ballgame and my highest respects for those that manage to cope with it. I've got two sounds in my head that I hear them everywhere, but I wouldn't call them severe, just very annoying....
       
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    4. Jason37

      Jason37 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Gunshot
      Your attempts at extreme fear mongering are for sure getting old....ignore button engaged.
       
    5. Wolfears

      Wolfears Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 20/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Most likely accoustic trauma
      Knock yoursrelf out with the button...;)

      But remember this:
      You can ignore common sense, but I doubt that you will be able to ignore the consequences, if your number ever comes up.
      Have a nice day.
       
    6. Sam Bridge

      Sam Bridge Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music/gigs probably
      So you are saying it's ok to operate machinery or loud appliances as long as you wear protection but you can't wear protection and go to the other places mentioned. That does not make sense?
       
    7. Wolfears

      Wolfears Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 20/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Most likely accoustic trauma
      Of course you can wear protection going to other places...but honestly how are you going to feel being the guy with Peltor ear muffs at someone's party, wedding or a funeral for example?
      Also stuff like concerts you still need to be careful even with the muffs, because they only knock down about 30db on average....personally I wouldn't risk it myself.
       
      Last edited: Nov 19, 2018
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    8. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Drugs barotrauma
      I had severe debilitating tinnitus for years, until it started to improve. I found myself doing more and more as I improved. I was going for dinners at loud restaurants again, back playing hockey, was seeing friends nd family once again. I was way more involved in life. I wasn’t all of a sudden more confident in taking risks, I’ve never really been scared of my tinnitus getting worse for some reason. . It was the fact that I could go out and do things without having a complete mental breakdown from the screaming in my brain that helped me more than anything.

      Not one time did I ever have a major setback from noise that wasn’t temporary until recently. I was, and maybe still am under the impression that you may not be at higher risk than someone without tinnitus, but who knows.

      I think I let my guard down, I’m sure if I had been more careful like a guy like @Wolfears i wouldn’t be back in this serious mess again. After laying in a mri at 120db (with plugs) for 45 min My life is now completely destroyed once again.

      I was on the path back to a somewhat a normal life, I only had very loud and annoying tinnitus for the first time in almost 5 years of hell, the mentally handicap tinnitus was backing off but I blew it because I let my guard down, or maybe didn’t have my guard up in the first place.

      I see both sides of the argument, they are both valid. Some folks are more cautious, some are bigger risk takers, I guess we all just find that line where we are comfortable. But, looking back I wish I had sat on the more cautious side, I would still be sitting in the group that can go out and function, forget about tinnitus for a while by keeping busy. Instead, I’m so distracted that I literally have a hard time doing anything at all. As embarrassing as this is, I’m just trying to hold it together one day at a time, trying to complete simple tasks, and sleep more than 10 min at a time.

      Would I have gotten permanent tinnitus in that machine if I had healthy ears, I think so. Is it worse because I already had tinnitus, absolutely. Healthy or not, you can always make your current situation worse.

      I believe that I am worse off after the recent incident because I was already half way down the tinnitus road. Since the new injury I’ve traveled further down that road, but as far as distance per injury, I don’t think that you actually travel any further each time you re-injure.
       
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    9. Starthrower
      Wtf

      Starthrower Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Dental Surgery

      So sorry @Telis. I believe @Ed209 went through the same issue as you regarding the MRI and the tinnitus setback aftermath. Hopefully he will see this and let you know. If I remember correctly he thought the particular MRI wasn't right but didn't do anything about it and this aspect really got to him. If only....
       
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    10. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      Yes, Starthrower. It was around March when I had the MRI on my shoulder. It was done outside in an enclosed, metal, mobile unit, and the noise it made was horrendous. I basically had a jackhammer above my head for 20 minutes straight. I wore earplugs and they gave me some headphones that provided no protection at all. It gave me a new tone in my left ear and I had the worst headache ever, but I believe the tone may now have faded. I’m not entirely sure because my head and ears are filled with so much noise that’s it’s hard to judge anything with absolute accuracy.

      In any case, it sent me back to square one and put me in a very dark place again. I felt like an idiot for not pushing the button and getting out of there; I literally lay there and just took it. When they got me out and went to do my other shoulder I refused to do it and got out of there.

      What pissed me off was the technician’s lack of knowledge about the machine. Prior to getting in, I told him about my ears and asked him how loud the machine was in decibels. He said he thought it was about 80dB or 90dB (I think this is what he said, from memory). I knew that was made up because I did some research beforehand, so I knew it was going to be loud. However, nothing prepared me for what ensued; it was the stuff of nightmares.
       
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    11. IAmCalifornia
      Wishful

      IAmCalifornia Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Pennsylvania
      Tinnitus Since:
      this year
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      i wish i knew
      What an awful story... you have my sympathies...

      The recklessness of some medical professionals is astounding...
       
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    12. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Syringing + Somatic tinnitus from dental work
      How many members here were brought into harm's way from the medical and dental community?
      The answer is many.

      Medical error is made everyday in hospitals across the world.
      Many statistics of care injury are never recorded and tinnitus is one.

      Tinnitus from a healthcare setting is the number one medical error.
      I knew about this from being on oversight committees 30 years ago, long before I received my first medical care error tinnitus. Then it happens to me again by a dentist.

      Why is the tinnitus community such as the ATA not conducting awareness on tinnitus medical dangers?
      Why is the tinnitus community not voicing proper medical care needed for those with tinnitus?

      The answer is self interest, fear of loss with support donations as many tinnitus researchers are tied into healthcare establishments.
       
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    13. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Drugs barotrauma
      Yeah man, same, asked about the machine, the tech had no clue. I should have looked into it more, I didn’t know they could get to 120 dB. I got out and could barely hear her speaking, my hearing had collapsed, I couldn’t hear my fingers rubbing together from right at my ear canal, things came back somewhat the next few days but I still feel like I’m under water and am struggling with not only the tinnitus, but now extremely bad hearing. I haven’t made an appointment to get hearing aids fitted because the whole thing makes me so upset, just not ready. I’m still having about 10 nightmares a night that I’m trapped in that god damn machine, wake up shaking and the new tinnitus just blaring, sends me into shock, I can’t describe what this experience has done to me. My tinnitus was bad before, my hearing damaged as well, but not like this, I feel like I’ve never had tinnitus, it’s all new.
       
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    14. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Drugs barotrauma
      The two times that I got tinnitus:

      1. Antibiotic ear drops for non infected ears (doctor wanted to make sure as my ears looked inflamed after barotrauma)
      2. MRI

      If I lived in a poor country with no health care I wouldn’t have tinnitus and hearing problems
       
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    15. Wolfears

      Wolfears Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 20/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Most likely accoustic trauma
      This is not a small problem...money and self interest rules the day it seems.

      As you had pointed out in one of your earlier posts, there are specific medical protocols, that are strictly followed if someone with a big enough wallet (such as hockey players, politicians etc) get injured and there is a danger of them developing Tinnitus.
      Something like one week in a hospital with strict regiment of medications?

      When a regular nobody comes off the street with the same issue, he/she is usually brushed off or is lucky just to get the Prednisone shots.
       
      • Agree Agree x 4
    16. Basshell
      Suicidal

      Basshell Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      In fairness to you....when it'sa like that it can mentally get out of control.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    17. Nanny chocolate

      Nanny chocolate Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Devon
      Tinnitus Since:
      1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unbelievable caused by audiologist!
      Bam are you ok? xx
      @Bam
       
    18. 1000

      1000 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      I'm trying to get in touch with vermillion. Haven't seen him around here for a week...
       
    19. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Bam

      Bam Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neck/stress
      Hey Nanny. I’m fine thank you. Or as fine as someone suffering horribly from noise torture every moment of every day, can be.

      I can’t believe we are just left to rot like this. I truly can’t. I’m in disbelief every morning that this is it for us.xx
       
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    20. Basshell
      Suicidal

      Basshell Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      The slow torture continues. Whether we are at the forum or not at the forum... Whether we are here, there and anywhere... It continues. I'm beyond ground down.
       
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    21. Nanny chocolate

      Nanny chocolate Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Devon
      Tinnitus Since:
      1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unbelievable caused by audiologist!
      Morning Bam. Yes, the disbelief every morning, IT’S STILL THERE. Shocked again EVERY MORNING.
      Glad you are ok even if you are not OK. x
      Eve
      @Bam
       
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    22. Vicki14
      Panicky

      Vicki14 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress
      What some of us are attempting to do is to get a clear message across
      @Nanny chocolate: It’s like living in the Trueman Show. Every day. I think that’s what makes this condition SO unbearable is that it’s the same old s*** EVERY DAY with varying levels is s***ness! x
       
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    23. Nanny chocolate

      Nanny chocolate Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Devon
      Tinnitus Since:
      1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unbelievable caused by audiologist!
      Totally agree with you Vicki although I’ve never seen the Trueman Show. Awakening and wondering how much s..t the will be today.
      @Vicki14
       
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    24. Nanny chocolate

      Nanny chocolate Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Devon
      Tinnitus Since:
      1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unbelievable caused by audiologist!
    25. PDodge
      Cowboy

      PDodge Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Woods of Alberta
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Bear ate my Cochlea
      My days used be based on how I felt. Not how loud my ears are ringing
       
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    26. Wolfears

      Wolfears Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 20/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Most likely accoustic trauma
      Most severe sufferers still struggle with the fact that something this horrible is even possible...no matter how long it has been going on.

      I think that the human brain is simply not programmed to accept (or understand) this level of pointless, senseless torture with no end....just because they might have lost hearing in some high, obscure frequencies, which nobody gives 2 shits about in the first place.
       
      Last edited: Nov 25, 2018
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    27. just1morething
      Benevolent

      just1morething Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      TMJ disorder, airplane barotrauma, noise exposure.
      @Nanny chocolate, What are your rates for your lovely tea? Also, are there any reasonable lots still available in your backyard?
       
    28. Nanny chocolate

      Nanny chocolate Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Devon
      Tinnitus Since:
      1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unbelievable caused by audiologist!
      Sorry tea offers now withdrawn and backyard full. Will have to move house now or rent a field!
      Still have a spare room for Bam and his dog though.
      @just1morething
       
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    29. Jazzer

      Jazzer Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      .’.....er.......I’m beginning to feel like
      an ‘eavesdropper’ on here......x’
       
      • Funny Funny x 2
    30. Audiophile_bg
      Furious

      Audiophile_bg Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Olanzapine/MRI
      The thing is - it's not like we are promoting suicide, but it's how one feels if he has severe tinnitus. Mine was moderate, but i still had a complete and total nervous breakdown when I got it. I had a minor setback this week, and I almost lost my mind again. People with this condition deserve a cure. I have seen very flimsy excuses like "we all have health issues" from people with Tinnitus no less. This is exactly why the medical community doesn't care for us.

      Hope @Bam is managing.
       
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