I'm Not Committing Suicide. I'm Being Murdered by Merciless Tinnitus.

[Manny]

I have a extremely high tolerance for sound, I walked around with headphones full blast as kid constantly playing metal like slayer. For years my car had two 15" subs rattling my teeth with volume turned up over a straight pipe exhaust with the windows open. I was a car audio installer back when I was young, we used to go to competitions and blow our ears out sitting in those cars. In college I would study at the pub with loud music and people shouting. I have lived innner city my entire adult life because I liked the night life, for 20 years I went to clubs loud enough to deafen me temporarily, walked out drunk with raging tinnitus constantly, did not bother me. My gf and I used to joke about having concert ears as we laid in bed going to sleep.

I realize that some people are more sensitive than others, there are a lot of serious snowflakes out there that would conplain about just about anything these days, I guess this is where the real issue is, too many people crying wolf over a little sound, but I'm telling you, tinnitus can get to a level that is unbearable pain for anyone.

I have had over 10 major concussions from playing contact sports like hockey and lacrosse, I have had a qEEG done recently that shows traumatic brain injury, I have suffered from post concussion syndrome for years. I have ruptured my ears through barotrauma twice, I've had multiple ear infections as a kid, I've always had trouble with my ears and my head.

Iver the years I've had tinnitus go from concert type ringing to full blown screaming in my brain, my head screech's when I move my eyes side to side, so I try and hold them still all the time which is almost impossible. I have tinnitus all over my brain with just a mess of sounds bouncing around, some sounds are piercing and extremely painful, I walk around with a migraine constantly. I can't watch TV without massive pain, my tinnitus gets so loud that I actually can't take the pain, although I do try, I can feel these sounds zapping around my head like I'm being electrocuted. My ears also whoosh with my heart beat to the point where it feels like so much pressure that I feel like my ear drums are bursting. My ears always feel like they are bleeding and swollen. My hearing is messed to the point that I hear beeping, tinnitus and distortion when people talk.

I sit and rip my hair out, scratch my head until it bleeds trying to somehow distract. I lay in the dark for 14-18 hours a day trying to get my head straight for when my spouse comes home, I'm light sensitive, but I'm also sound sensitive to the point where when I get up in the night I can't even flush the toilet, have to sit to pee as the sound is unbearable. I sleep 10-20 min at a time, I have to move myself around because as I lay still the noise drills so hard it either causes too much pain, or it wakes me up in pain, it's like clockwork. If I drink myself stupid I can get over 1 hour of passout sleep, otherwise it's back to small shifts. I'm logging around 2 hours total per night.

I just went through 6 months of shingles without taking a single pain med because I didn't want to make my situation worse. I'm not bothered by a lot of things, I have a way higher than normal pain threshold, I've had broken bones playing sports and had all kinds of injuries, I'm not one to lay around and whine.

I'm generally laid back, except when it comes to this bull shit. I can no longer tolerate people telling me oh so and so has IT severe as well, but they just ignore it, must be a personality thing, honestly if someone says this to my face I'm going to knock them out. I'm sick of being humiliated by over this.

There is no way of knowing if someone has intrusive tinnitus or not, including me, after all we can't compare it with each other. It's not like you can go around listening to each other's, and testing out each other's ears/brains. I guess this is where all the confusion is. And hey, maybe I'm a snowflake wuss and just some senitive guy that is overreacting, We will never know. But when you tell people you are crippled by something and fight with everything in you just to get through a day, and some idiot comes along with zero proof saying things like oh yeah so and so has it severe and it doesn't have any impact on him, this is a slap in the face. How do I explain this to my family, they look at me like maybe I've lost my mind when people spew garbage like that with absolutely zero evidence. I hope karma visits these arrogant idiots and they get the most crippling form of whatever, and people just blow it off and dismiss them as over sensitive, or maybe just that type of personality.

Holy shit. This is exactly why we need a cure. People are being CIA tortured 24/7. My lord.

 

[Lane]

There are some that are really annoyed by mild/barely noticeable tinnitus. There are some that have intrusive levels of tinnitus and learn to live with it and cope/habituate. Tolerance levels shall vary between people.

A couple of points that I think connect in with this discussion...

1) I read a book many years ago called "Adrenal Syndrome". A lot of the book touched on the residual resiliency of people's adrenal glands as they respond to life's stresses. Very low resiliency often resulted in months/years of chronic debilitating exhaustion. Very high resiliency indicated essentially the opposite. The author broke this down into some rough numbers:

25% of people have low resiliency, meaning normal life stressors will often send them into some degree of a tailspin.
25% of people have high resiliency, meaning that no matter how severe a stressor comes into their lives, they will be able to cope without becoming debilitated to any degree.
50% of people fall somewhere inbetween.

I suspect there's some corresponding numbers for a person's ability to deal with tinnitus, whether or not the percentages are close to 25-25-50. But nobody's yet written a book about it, or even tried to document this in a serious manner.

2) I read a book several years ago called, "Highly Sensitive People". -- It describes the nature of a highly sensitive person, and the author estimates that approx. 10% of the population fall into this category. Since beginning to read on this forum, I've strongly suspected a much larger percentage of people than 10% who suffer terribly from tinnitus would fall into this category. I believe I'm in that category, as well as being in the "low-resiliency" group when it comes to adrenal health/stamina.

I cut down my neighbours' wind chimes twice. ...... But who knows, perhaps those people who willingly put up wind chimes in their backyards would be able to get used to a pretty loud T.

I've "taken" down a couple of chimes myself. I suspect people who put them up generally don't fall into either the low-resiliency adrenal health group, or the highly sensitive people group. How else could they stand such onging, jangling, discordant sounds?

 

[Bill Bauer]

I read a book many years ago called "Adrenal Syndrome". A lot of the book touched on the residual resiliency of people's adrenal glands as they respond to life's stresses. Very low resiliency often resulted in months/years of chronic debilitating exhaustion. Very high resiliency indicated essentially the opposite. The author broke this down into some rough numbers:

25% of people have low resiliency, meaning normal life stressors will often send them into some degree of a tailspin.

Is there anything that the low resiliency people can do to become high resiliency?

 

[Telis]

I've "taken" down a couple of chimes myself. I suspect people who put them up generally don't fall into either the low-resiliency adrenal health group, or the highly sensitive people group. How else could they stand such onging, jangling, discordant sounds?

I run wind chimes on speakers blasting all night mixed with things like crickets and high pitched beeps, and in the day I run it on headphones. If you really think that those are intrusive sounds, I dint think you want to listen to severe tinnitus for even a few seconds. You would might be shocked and surprised at what the brain can drum up, I sure am.

 

[Lane]

Is there anything that the low resiliency people can do to become high resiliency?

Hi Bill,

There's a whole category of supplements called "Adaptogens" that support adrenal health, and the body's "stress response" in general. Just a simple google search of adaptogens will bring up a number of supplements for sale. A more specifc search of "adrenal stress response" will give more specific information.

A lot of adrenal stress response support products are adrenal extracts from animal sources, but there are herbal adoptogens as well. I've tried a few, and the one that gave me the best (and significant) results was nettles. I buy a pound of organic nettles from Amazon for a little under $20, and make big batches at a time.

I've thought about starting a thread on this topic, as I believe a lot of people dealing with extreme stress from tinnitus could be helped--possibly significantly--with some supporting supplements. I seem to recall that when I first started on the nettles, my sleep immediately improved.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I buy a pound of organic nettles from Amazon for a little under $20, and make big batches at a time.

What do you do with nettles? How do you take it?

 

[Telis]

Holy shit. This is exactly why we need a cure. People are being CIA tortured 24/7. My lord.

Yeah, my dad was in one of those CIA noise torture camps, he was not bothered. He said a lot of the other prisoners would succumb to the noise and crack, but he had had a bunch of other health issues in his life, almost died at one point so wasn't a big deal for him. I'm not sure why he wasn't bothered, you would think that the CIA would have understood that some people are just not impacted by loud noise, and others are. They should have checked out tinnitustalk, they could maybe learn a few things here. I chalk it up to his calm laid back attitude, I'm sure many here would agree with my assessment.

 

[Bill Bauer]

my dad was in one of those CIA noise torture camps

If he wasn't a guard, why was he there?

 

[Telis]

If he wasn't a guard, why was he there?

I'm kidding. It's a joke!!! I'm being sarcastic

 

[Lane]

If you really think that those are intrusive sounds, I dint think you want to listen to severe tinnitus for even a few seconds. You would might be shocked and surprised at what the brain can drum up, I sure am.

I have what appears to be significant reactive tinnitus (along with severe hyperacusis). So whatever sounds I hear become amplified, sometimes many times over. It's even painful for me to pee in the toilet, so I pee like a girl these days. So I have to be very careful with whatever outer sounds I'm exposed to.

Speaking of what the brain can drum up, I suspect you would probably be shocked/surprised at what the brains of people with ME/CFS can drum up from misfiring immune, endocrine, and neurological systems. From what I can gather, most of them deal with being on the very low end of adrenal resiliency, and are highly sensitive as well.

Not only do they deal with brain conditions like anhedonia, depersonalization and other dissociative disorders, but a large percentage of these people end up with severe tinnitus and/or hyperacusis as well. You'd probably see more posts by them on this forum, if they actually had the energy to get out of bed. Many of them don't, much less being able to go to the bathroom or bathe themselves.

A lot of these dissociative disorders are generally referred to as "mental disorders". But it's amazing to hear of occasional success stories where people have been able to reset their adrenal stress response, and/or their immunological response, etc. Their supposed "mental disorders" disappear almost immediately. Unfortunately, the success stories are pretty few and far between, once a person's system has become so debilitated.

The reason I occasionally mention ME/CFS, is because there's actually a lot of overlap between it and tinnitus. In this regard, I think it's almost vitally important for people with tinnitus do a good amount of research on how to support their own body's stress response, as I believe it can make a huge difference in whether a person's tinnitus will ever get a chance to heal as well as it might be able to. -- Best!

 

[Agrajag364]

Hi Bill,

There's a whole category of supplements called "Adaptogens" that support adrenal health, and the body's "stress response" in general. Just a simple google search of adaptogens will bring up a number of supplements for sale. A more specifc search of "adrenal stress response" will give more specific information.

A lot of adrenal stress response support products are adrenal extracts from animal sources, but there are herbal adoptogens as well. I've tried a few, and the one that gave me the best (and significant) results was nettles. I buy a pound of organic nettles from Amazon for a little under $20, and make big batches at a time.

I've thought about starting a thread on this topic, as I believe a lot of people dealing with extreme stress from tinnitus could be helped--possibly significantly--with some supporting supplements. I seem to recall that when I first started on the nettles, my sleep immediately improved.

That does not sound scientifically credible

 

[Lane]

What do you do with nettles? How do you take it?

I generally take a cup of loose bulk nettles and put it in a quart of water in a blender. I have a high speed Vita-Mix, so I only need to blend it for 15-20 seconds or so. I then strain. This gives me an "uncooked" dose of nettles.

I then take the wet bulk that's left after straining, and put it in a quart of water on the stove, bring it to a boil, and then strain. I usually do this 2-3 times, or until the remaining liquid is no longer a dark green color. I keep it in the refrigerator, and it usually last several days. A week is getting a bit long. -- BTW, a pound of nettles is a LOT of tea.

 

[Telis]

I have what appears to be significant reactive tinnitus (along with severe hyperacusis). So whatever sounds I hear become amplified, sometimes many times over. It's even painful for me to pee in the toilet, so I pee like a girl these days. So I have to be very careful with whatever outer sounds I'm exposed to.

Speaking of what the brain can drum up, I suspect you would probably be shocked/surprised at what the brains of people with ME/CFS can drum up from misfiring immune, endocrine, and neurological systems. From what I can gather, most of them deal with being on the very low end of adrenal resiliency, and are highly sensitive as well.

Not only do they deal with brain conditions like anhedonia, depersonalization and other dissociative disorders, but a large percentage of these people end up with severe tinnitus and/or hyperacusis as well. You'd probably see more posts by them on this forum, if they actually had the energy to get out of bed. Many of them don't, much less being able to go to the bathroom or bathe themselves.

A lot of these dissociative disorders are generally referred to as "mental disorders". But it's amazing to hear of occasional success stories where people have been able to reset their adrenal stress response, and/or their immunological response, etc. Their supposed "mental disorders" disappear almost immediately. Unfortunately, the success stories are pretty few and far between, once a person's system has become so debilitated.

The reason I occasionally mention ME/CFS, is because there's actually a lot of overlap between it and tinnitus. In this regard, I think it's almost vitally important for people with tinnitus do a good amount of research on how to support their own body's stress response, as I believe it can make a huge difference in whether a person's tinnitus will ever get a chance to heal as well as it might be able to. -- Best!

Yeah I know, sorry if I downplayed your situation, I have the same thing, my ears just hurt, and yeah something about peeing standing up is just painful, I agree. I try to distract with these noises, get them as loud as I can get them without causing too much discomfort and pain. I swear my brain is just dying for that lost input, there is a fine line for me between loud masking and tolerating the pain from the noise, it's a tough mix.

Yeah there are many shitty situations out there, I'm sorry for all these people. You post some very informative stuff Lane.

 

[Lane]

I swear my brain is just dying for that lost input, there is a fine line for me between loud masking and tolerating the pain from the noise, it's a tough mix.

Hey @Telis

I think yours is the first post I've seen that touches on this topic, and I very much appreciate you mentioning it. The tough mix you mention is something I sometimes I think of as a "tough tradeoff". The brain (and ears?) do sometimes absolutely need certain things, but.... what price are we willing--or able to--pay? -- I wish you the very best Telis, you seem to be going through some truly horrendous times. I hope things can turn for you--and soon!

 

[Ed209]

Yeah, my dad was in one of those CIA noise torture camps, he was not bothered. He said a lot of the other prisoners would succumb to the noise and crack, but he had had a bunch of other health issues in his life, almost died at one point so wasn't a big deal for him. I'm not sure why he wasn't bothered, you would think that the CIA would have understood that some people are just not impacted by loud noise, and others are. They should have checked out tinnitustalk, they could maybe learn a few things here. I chalk it up to his calm laid back attitude, I'm sure many here would agree with my assessment.

There's no need for that. My dad's really ill right now and you're just taking the piss. I understand your circumstances, but there's still a line.

 

[Tinker Bell]

I'm kidding. It's a joke!!! I'm being sarcastic

It was in poor taste.

 

[Telis]

There's no need for that. My dad's really ill right now and you're just taking the piss. I understand your circumstances, but there's still a line.

I wish your father all the best man, I truely do. I'm sure there are many people in the same situation as your father that are not bothered at all, and do just fine in the end, one way or the other. Good luck to him.

 

[Telis]

It was in poor taste.

Well we all have different taste I guess, bad or good, who's to say.

 

[JohnAdams]

Well we all have different taste I guess, bad or good, who's to say.

My dad died a horrible horrible death that took 10 years. Nothing about your comment offended me whatsoever. I really don't know why you're taking flack for that. Oh well...

 

[Starthrower]

I seem to recall that when I first started on the nettles, my sleep immediately improved.

@Lane which nettles product? I did a search and there were a lot of different types.

 

[Lane]

That does not sound scientifically credible

I'm not sure why that would be relevant. -- Science only explores teeny, tiny amounts of what it would be nice to have scientific exploration on. Since there's no financial payoff for a LOT of these untested areas, it leaves it to us to sift the wheat from the chaff of information that is readily available.

With the internet today, that volume of information has probably never been greater. Why not delve into areas that may be of benefit to us, and then decide if it's worthwhile to follow up or not? A lot of people on this forum are doing just that, and getting great benefit. Curcumin to help reduce inflammation and tinnitus; mullein-garlic to do the same, etc. I think we need to be aware of the limitations of what science has to offer, and be prepared to do our part when it comes to our own health challenges, including our own unique tinnitus/hyperacusis experiences.

 

[Tinker Bell]

My dad died a horrible horrible death that took 10 years. Nothing about your comment offended me whatsoever. I really don't know why you're taking flack for that. Oh well...

You don't comprehend that people have different levels of what they consider respectful, crass, polite, rude, etc? Just because your father died and the sarcasm does not bother you does not mean that someone else who has experienced a similar loss will find the sarcasm appropriate.

Maybe we've uncovered an underlying issue because it seems there is a lack of understanding that people have different levels of pain tolerance, too.

 

[JohnAdams]

You don't comprehend that people have different levels of what they consider respectful, crass, polite, rude, etc? Just because your father died and the sarcasm does not bother you does not mean that someone else who has experienced a similar loss will find the sarcasm appropriate.

Maybe we've uncovered the underlying issue because it seems there is a lack of understanding that people have different levels of pain tolerance, too.

Well then if certain people are so easily offended then they could just remove themselves from the discussion instead of trying to force others onto respecting their emotional fragility. What @Telis posted was not bad, or nominally offensive. Get over it. And BTW I do comprehend that people have different levels of "what they consider respectful, crass, polite, rude'. I just dont bow down to thin skinned thought police.

 

[sakrt]

@fishbone: "...There are some that are really annoyed by mild/barely noticeable tinnitus. There are some that have intrusive levels of tinnitus and learn to live with it and cope/habituate."

But, how did you determine they had mild tinnitus, when it may actually be chronic they're so "annoyed" by and vice versa?
This is the question.

 

[Greg Sacramento]

1) I read a book many years ago called "Adrenal Syndrome". A lot of the book touched on the residual resiliency of people's adrenal glands as they respond to life's stresses. Very low resiliency often resulted in months/years of chronic debilitating exhaustion. Very high resiliency indicated essentially the opposite. The author broke this down into some rough numbers:

25% of people have low resiliency, meaning normal life stressors will often send them into some degree of a tailspin.
25% of people have high resiliency, meaning that no matter how severe a stressor comes into their lives, they will be able to cope without becoming debilitated to any degree.
50% of people fall somewhere inbetween.

2) I read a book several years ago called, "Highly Sensitive People". -- It describes the nature of a highly sensitive person, and the author estimates that approx. 10% of the population fall into this category. Since beginning to read on this forum, I've strongly suspected a much larger percentage of people than 10% who suffer terribly from tinnitus would fall into this category. I believe I'm in that category, as well as being in the "low-resiliency" group when it comes to adrenal health/stamina.

I also think that it's about body and mind where life experience's touches on one's biology/genes and what determination they may have. Some with tinnitus might have a lifetime of stress exhaustion. In general maybe there is one way to determine traits on a message board where studies have been done.

Psychologists will sign up to examine message boards where ratings are given. They view who gives who ratings. I've read a few of those studies and they all came to the same conclusion. The conclusion is that those who only give ratings to a select few are most unhappy with maybe health problems.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Well then if certain people are so easily offended then they could just remove themselves from the discussion instead of trying to force others onto respecting their emotional fragility. What @Telis posted was not bad, or nominally offensive. Get over it.

Should Ed also remove himself from the conversation given the post essentially mocked his father's experience? I took offense because it was unkind to him.

But I am jumping off the thread all the same — enjoying a holiday event, something I did not think possible when tinnitus and severe hearing loss first hit.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I then take the wet bulk that's left after straining, and put it in a quart of water on the stove, bring it to a boil, and then strain. I usually do this 2-3 times, or until the remaining liquid is no longer a dark green color. I keep it in the refrigerator, and it usually last several days. A week is getting a bit long. -- BTW, a pound of nettles is a LOT of tea.

You drink the liquid (and discard the nettles after the liquid is no longer green), right?

they could just remove themselves from the discussion instead of trying to force others onto respecting their emotional fragility

I agree. They can also place the users whose posts they don't enjoy reading on their Ignore List. My ignore list has close to 100 people on it.

 

[JohnAdams]

the post essentially mocked his father's experience

No, it didn't.


Now you're just making stuff up.

Now you're accusing @Telis of purposefully mocking @Ed209's fathers experience. How could @Telis have possibly know what @Ed209's father was going through when he posted that? Seriously. I'm sorry for Ed for his father's plight but I am majoy failing to see how anyone could take what @Telis said as offensive. Because he joked about his own father? What is your logic here?

 

[Bill Bauer]

No, it didn't.

It seems to me that it kind of did.

 

[Starthrower]

I just went through 6 months of shingles without taking a single pain med because I didn't want to make my situation worse. I'm not bothered by a lot of things, I have a way higher than normal pain threshold, I've had broken bones playing sports and had all kinds of injuries, I'm not one to lay around and whine.

I'm generally laid back, except when it comes to this bull shit. I can no longer tolerate people telling me oh so and so has IT severe as well, but they just ignore it, must be a personality thing, honestly if someone says this to my face I'm going to knock them out. I'm sick of being humiliated by over this.

This is what got to me also back in 2002 @Telis. I could not tolerate what you wrote either. It added to my inferior feelings. It made me feel it was me. Something wrong with me.

I watched as this destroyed my friend Dave. I watched and listened as he spiraled downward losing everything in his life that mattered. No one listened to him.

I don't know why I survived quite honestly. The tinnitus is just as bad every single second of my life. Losing him to suicide with me by his side did something to my soul. Sorry...just crying as I write and remember. I tried so hard to forget and move on and disappear from this scene of tinnitus support and fundraising.

But when you tell people you are crippled by something and fight with everything in you just to get through a day, and some idiot comes along with zero proof saying things like oh yeah so and so has it severe and it doesn't have any impact on him, this is a slap in the face.

It makes us feel unworthy and mental in some cases. Some people are trying to give hope (or being sarcastic asses) But that message is one that we cannot except - until - one day you kinda do.