I'm So Scared and It's Gotten Worse

[VickiD]

I have had tinnitus since March last year. I went through hell with it and deliberated suicide and all sorts of dark thoughts.
I started to cope better with it until last week. Something changed, for no apparent reason it's got worse. It was settling down and then it just got worse and kept me awake all night freaking out.

New noises have appeared. Like a high pitched chainsaw going eeeeee with the multiple tones going on too. I can't bear it anymore. I can't get any peace from it.

I'm sick of being told to relax and get cranial therapy. It's bollocks. I'm relaxed and it's still there screaming at me. I can't take it anymore. It's stripping me of who I am. I'm going to work half dead every day because I don't sleep.

I'm so upset writing this. I can't deal with it.

 

[glynis]

Hi @VickiD?
Please try not be scared as we are here around the clock when you need us.
You might be a little low with a virus in your system or wax build up etc.
I would pop in see your doctor and in the mean time keep sound on around you.
My doctor put me on Nortryptaline 50mg to help me sleep and it also has done wonders with my tinnitus regarding low drone and head tinnitus and still have high pitch ringing but took the edge off it slightly...lots of love glynis

 

[RODRIGO]

What happens to you is common. Do not wait, tinnitus is like this. They go up and down without knowing. And at the beginning of its appearance is more difficult to accept, anxiety begins, and tinnitus becomes higher. Also the colds make new noises appear sometimes. I have suvidas and bajadas, and when you are down you have to think how many times you have surpassed, and that this time will be equal. It's hard, I know, but you'll have a manageable tinnitus again. Anxiety, fear, anguish are normal, but they play against it. Try to go out and be with people, distract yourself even if you do not feel like it ... you'll be fine again.

 

[VickiD]

Hi.
I don't have a cold. I wish it was that.
Thanks for your reply x

 

[VickiD]

@Glynis I'm so scared. All the months of trying to get myself okay and new noises appear and leave me terrified and feeling like I'm trapped. I don't know why I've got new noises. I'm scared I'll end up like that woman in holland who went for euthanasia because of tinnitus. She has terrified me to the point of every day I am scared I'll end up like her

 

[JasonP]

You may want to see if a neurontin and klonopin combo will lower your T but don't use klonopin long term. Tolerance and withdrawal can be terrible. Take as low amount as possible is what my experience has been but I am no doctor so you would have to ask him about this stuff. I don't know even if neurontin would be good to take long term. Both medications can make you sedated which is not good either. Possibly you could try passion flower first. Other meds might help instead too. I only mention thus because you are suicidal. I hope you feel better asap.

 

[Richard zurowski]

That woman in holland going to a clinic in Switzerland to end her life has done nobody any good by posting her tinnitus on TV. I haven't seen it and I don't intend to see it. Anybody suffering from tinnitus should avoid watching it.

 

[InfiniteLoop]

@VickiD

Chronic conditions have periods of worsening and improvement that are not justified by obvious cause/effect explanations. We have to go through these hard periods in spite of looking like impossible uphill battles. I had a good number of setbacks like you describe over the last three years and they tend to resolve. Sleeping is key to get any feeling of well being, and I would suggest getting sleeping pills or ADs for the short term to get through the rough patch. In fact, this week is not looking so good for me either and I am spending too much time on TT .

 

[glynis]

Aww Duck,
I know how you feel I truly do.
Tinnitus can cause other sounds in one ear or both and head.
I had a drone ontop of my high pitch and head and was in hospital a few days having tests.
Anxiety and fear and lack of sleep,panic attacks,crying,low mood and depression and hormones all play a big part coping with our mind as well as the tinnitus itself.
Talking therapy and medication can help.
Try not to fear the future as things can change for the better and put yourself through a lot of stress worrying.
It's the here and now that you need help with as you try to make sense of it all and the shock of new sounds invading your hearing .
You will read lots of positive stories but some suicidal posts.
This is when sound gets hard to cope with and emotions so high it has no place to go and panic and fear set in.

This is when logic comes in to place and know you are not going mad and it's a normal reaction even though the feelings are hard to cope with.
This is when you need support on here and family and doctors and specialists ,Samaritans or mental health or MIND just to talk out loud how you feel to someone.
Try relax and offload any stress and go at your own pace with no added pressure as you need time just to adapt as you are feeling vulnerable and out of sorts.
I promise you will get through this and welcome pm me any time...lots of love glynis

 

[Richard zurowski]

@VickiD . Hi vickiD. You're not going to end up like that woman in holland. Try and stay positive I know it's easy said then done. But stress and anxiety is making your tinnitus worse. Your tinnitus will go back to baseline I'm sure of that. I've been there just like you have and so have many others on this forum Go and see your doctor and tell them how you feel. Your doctor may prescribe you something to help you through this difficult time. Don't despair there is help.

 

[VickiD]

I can hear a new noise, like electrical chainsaw or high pitched and then all the multi toned noises underneath it.

Does anyone actually believe this is caused by anxiety because I don't. I feel like I am on the edge. I have so much to live for but if this carries on, I won't be here this time next week because I'm sinking. I'm scared to go home because it's quiet, so I drive round for hours. I can't sleep with white noise or sound. So I have to endure the tinnitus. I take night nurse to aid my sleep but I don't have a cold. It's really making me sad and scared. I can't cope anymore

 

[Michael Leigh]

@VickiD May I ask what country do you live in? I would like to have a brief chat with you in PM if that is possible?

 

[Kristin VT]

VickiD, I understand where you're coming from. Mine has recently gotten worse, and though I've had pretty severe T for over twenty years, it's pushed me a bit over the edge. I see my prescribing doc on Monday, and I plan to ask him for a small quantity of high dose valium so I can take one when I feel pushed to the brink.

Is a day off or a good night's sleep too much to ask? I don't think so. I also take 10 mg of melatonin nightly to help me get to sleep through the loud ringing. It's worked for a few years now, which has made all the difference up to this point.

Don't lose hope. You're not alone. We persevere.