I'm Sorry, Everyone. I'm Not Weak and This Isn't Suicide, There Was No Other Way to Hear Silence.

[AZeurotuner]

If the spikes are your body's way of telling you what to avoid in order to promote healing (similar to the pain mechanism for people who break their arms), then then experimenting with that DIY stuff has the potential to not only interfere with your healing, but to also make your T worse. Goes without saying that it works for some people. Given how horrible T is, is it really a risk that would be worth taking?

Being a professor in real life does not translate into being an expert in tinnitus and hyperacusis. You still seem to suffer from extreme (and untreated) hyperacusis and have the nerve to tell other members to disregard my advice?

I find it interesting that you will preach to anyone who'll listen that wearing hearing protection all the time, but watching TV at a "moderate volume", prevents you from getting hyperacusis. Yet you STILL wear ear plugs in the shower, which is indicative of severe hyperacusis.

You're trying to help other people with advice that obviously isn't helping you. I've had members PM me close to suicide because they followed your advice Mr. Bauer. You are doing more damage than you could possibly realize...

 

[iGL0CK]

Same here. I switched to baths, then eventually I was able to switch to showering while wearing earplugs.

I've got only shower unfortunately so I just try to keep water level low and I feel pretty ok because it's quieter. I'm doing the same during washing dishes.

Those are the noises you will want to protect against, even if you decide to go ahead and try to desensitize your ears.

Agree, they could be very loud, sometimes like a little firecracker but they are most difficult to predict and avoid. Maybe when sensitivity gets better then spikes after that things are rarer and this is my purpose - minimize effects of unpredictable accidents. I will protect myself surely even when my H will get better.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I will protect myself surely even when my H will get better.

There is a good chance that eventually, you won't have to protect against many of those moderate noises.

 

[iGL0CK]

Being a professor in real life does not translate into being an expert in tinnitus and hyperacusis. You still seem to suffer from extreme (and untreated) hyperacusis and have the nerve to tell other members to disregard my advice?

I think there's very little amount of people on Tinnitus Talk who tried any professional therapy for hyperacusis, because they getting spikes and are trying to protect from everything after that. TRT therapy for hyperacusis and tinnitus has very bad reputation here even from people who haven't tried it and believe only way to help them is to quiet tinnitus. No, it's not. We need to research for real treatment and cure, of course, but now we should try therapies like CBT\TRT and fight for a better life.

After 5 years of tinnitus I can tell you with full responsibility - it will get much, much better even if the volume is at the same level (or even worse) but you have to change your way of thinking and stop giving tinnitus power. I don't know how loud or bothersome is your tinnitus, because only you are know that. I know people with much worse tinnitus than mine and they're happy and I know people with mild tinnitus and they are extremely depressed.
Just fight my friends and don't ever give up. Life isn't always easy.

 

[Red]

If you're that weak that you off yourself while there is a cure for 4 or 5 grand waiting for you, you don't deserve to live in the first place.

What the hell is wrong with you?

 

[Bam]

Users who haven't signed in fora while are not dead, they just got better in tinnitus and got their lives back.

As much as I too want to encourage Jemina that statement is not true and is disrespectful to the memory of the people who have at some point posted on this forum and have since ended their lives due to tinnitus suffering.....and let's not glaze over that and forget it.

 

[DebInAustralia]

@iGL0CK,

Keppra (Levetiracetam).

 

[Apocalypse77]

Not sure if and when Neuromod will be available here in Finland?

Still here? Please Never give up.

 

[Apocalypse77]

SOITA MULLE PLIIS

Täällähän on paljon suomalaisia...

 

[Lane]

I've had members PM me close to suicide because they followed your advice Mr. Bauer. You are doing more damage than you could possibly realize...

I've been reading @Bill Bauer's posts since I started visiting this forum earlier this year, and find myself agreeing with his advice in almost all instances. What I mostly agree with--if I may interpret the totality of his posts--is that the risks of overprotection in the beginning of tinnitus are FAR less than the risks of underprotection. IOW, there are risks both ways, and we need to be aware of that.

Again, as I understand Bill, he thinks people with tinnitus should be very vigilent about protecting their ears until they can prudently begin to find that delicate balance of not over-protecting or under-protecting. And this process generally takes many months. For those who have followed his advice, I cannot help but believe that many have saved themselves from even worse tinnitus, and possibly permanent harm. Even worse tinnitus has unfortunately happened to many who somehow came to the conclusion that possible over-protection was worse than possible under-protection.

I think Mr. Bauer is a valuable voice and resource on this forum, and that unless somebody misinterpreted his advice, has not been responsible for anybody reaching the point of considering suicide. The (seeming) assertion of that being the case is simply beyond believability.

 

[Bill Bauer]

You still seem to suffer from extreme (and untreated) hyperacusis and have the nerve to tell other members to disregard my advice?

I don't. I followed my own advice, and it worked well for me.

that wearing hearing protection all the time

I never said that.

Yet you STILL wear ear plugs in the shower, which is indicative of severe hyperacusis.

In the past, I actually needed to do that, as I would get a spike otherwise. Now it is just something that I do in order to be easy on my ears. The way I see it, if I could do something for my ears, why not do it? Whereas, I am certain that someone in the early stages of T who feels discomfort ought to do what they can to not feel this discomfort, I am not really sure whether someone like me should keep protecting their ears like that. There is no harm to it, and it might promote healing, so why not?

I've had members PM me close to suicide because they followed your advice Mr. Bauer.

I bet I've had more members who followed your advice PM ME when they were close to suicide. Sad.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I've had members PM me close to suicide because they followed your advice Mr. Bauer.

I will quote some old posts for the newbies:

I was told not to wear hearing protection for normal everyday situations but look where it's got me. I had my plugs in my pocket too. Getting on with a normal life hasn't helped for me.

I tried the 'laissez faire' approach for that first period, where I didn't let myself be bothered by most sounds, except for 80db+ (when I started plugging the ears) and still went out and did all my old activities, but that ended up costing me dearly. I had a 'spike' (if it can still be called that) that hasn't gone away.

I know many people with T who see concerts, play in bands, do chores, work in wood shops and so on. Some of these people have had it for over 20 years.

Yeah, that's how I ended up with severe tinnitus and it was mild in the beginning. I'm not saying people should stay at home all day but I do think that things like concerts can permanently worsen tinnitus even if that person wears hearing protection. Of course, not in every case and the thread is about a lawn mower not a concert but I don't think it's responsible to tell someone to just 'live their life' - go out with hearing protection but if your body is giving you signals that t is getting worse then listen to those. I had people with tinnitus tell me I'd be safe with ear plugs and if I noticed a spike it would just be due to me worrying about it... I know other people aren't as naive and stupid as I used to be but the severity of my tinnitus was honestly preventable and I wouldn't wish such a worsening on anyone else. But again, this is about a lawn mower. Sorry for digressing the thread...

To all members in this forum advising against so called "overprotection". I never exposed myself to sounds even remotely considered as being potentially harmful to healthy people but because of your advice I was exposed to sounds uncomfortable for me which eventually proved to be damaging.

At initial stages i was very weary about sound levels around me and used protection everytime I felt uncomfortable.

Only by reading TRT literature or some posts here I started to expose my self to sounds loud but never louder than 75-80 dB.

Whenever I was feeling like something is not right I was stupid enough to believe you these changes were part of "the natural process of healing".

Is this your healing? Every time you feel like giving this sort of advice have my case in mind.

I saved the posts above when I read them. Since that time, I read many more posts similar to the above, but I didn't bother to save them. Given the testimony above, I am saddened that folks like you keep advocating reckless behaviour.

 

[jay777]

@Bill Bauer what were you like pre tinnitus?

 

[Bill Bauer]

@Bill Bauer what were you like pre tinnitus?

Pre-T I had never attended any concerts, if that is what you are asking.

 

[jay777]

no you did not get it. your mental state.

 

[Bill Bauer]

no you did not get it. your mental state.

Well, of course I had been devastated during the first 2-3 months. I don't want to jinx anything, so I will just say that I had improved a lot compared to those first few months.

I have always been averse to risk.

 

[jay777]

Well, of course I had been devastated during the first 2-3 months. I don't want to jinx anything, so I will just say that I had improved a lot compared to those first few months.

I have always been averse to risk.

NO NO BILL, I SAID PRE, I WANTED TO SAY PRE TINNITUS.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I SAID PRE, I WANTED TO SAY PRE TINNITUS.

Above I was saying that even before T, I have been averse to risk. If that doesn't answer your question, what is it that you want to know.

 

[Red]

@AZeurotuner @Agrajag364 @TLion @Bam

It appears I have gotten some flak for my little post.
Well then, to start out, believe it or not, Jemima being 6 months in is a detail I missed. Unsure why. Perhaps it was from lack of sleep or lack of concentration. Maybe I was feeling rushed but didn't feel right letting this thread sit with, at the time, so few posts for such a serious matter.

I wholeheartedly agree that at only 6 months in, suicide is by far too permanent solution for a health condition barely even able to be considered chronic just yet.

We can agree on this. Beyond that, however...

Let's just say I have cried real tears for a lot of you. If I know you even just a little bit and I were to find out you had killed yourself, it would shake me to my core. It would bring me to a dark, sobbing, emotional mess. I can't say that I am anti-suicide, though. On one hand, I am a severely depressed woman definitely going through suicide ideation, on the other, I do genuinely tire from the responses to the act of suicide. People charge in like a white knight on a horse whenever there is even a whiff of a potential loss of life. (And I'm not just talking about suicide here) Life isn't black and white, it's complicated and messy. One wants to feel they are a good person, above all else, so to respond with anything less than "Don't do it" would result in ethical insecurities.

We only get one life to live and it's worth fighting for, which is why I have never been actually suicidal. Agreed, 6 months in is too young into tinnitus for it. Outside that, perhaps we simply disagree. I want to see solutions for people's problems (this goes beyond tinnitus) but all these suicide walks later, and it's still just about treating depression and not fixing the real problems. (Uh oh! It turns out some of these solutions require taxpayer money. It seems that helping suicidal people takes time and effort (aka money) to fix.

Sorry for the rant. This is important to me. Tired of disingenuous defenders of the sanctity of life no matter where I look. It's why I responded the way I did.

Or you know, what Bam said.

 

[Bam]

@AZeurotuner @Agrajag364 @TLion @Bam

It appears I have gotten some flak for my little post.
Well then, to start out, believe it or not, Jemima being 6 months in is a detail I missed. Unsure why. Perhaps it was from lack of sleep or lack of concentration. Maybe I was feeling rushed but didn't feel right letting this thread sit with, at the time, so few posts for such a serious matter.

I wholeheartedly agree that at only 6 months in, suicide is by far too permanent solution for a health condition barely even able to be considered chronic just yet.

We can agree on this. Beyond that, however...

Let's just say I have cried real tears for a lot of you. If I know you even just a little bit and I were to find out you had killed yourself, it would shake me to my core. It would bring me to a dark, sobbing, emotional mess. I can't say that I am anti-suicide, though. On one hand, I am a severely depressed woman definitely going through suicide ideation, on the other, I do genuinely tire from the responses to the act of suicide. People charge in like a white knight on a horse whenever there is even a whiff of a potential loss of life. (And I'm not just talking about suicide here) Life isn't black and white, it's complicated and messy. One wants to feel they are a good person, above all else, so to respond with anything less than "Don't do it" would result in ethical insecurities.

We only get one life to live and it's worth fighting for, which is why I have never been actually suicidal. Agreed, 6 months in is too young into tinnitus for it. Outside that, perhaps we simply disagree. I want to see solutions for people's problems (this goes beyond tinnitus) but all these suicide walks later, and it's still just about treating depression and not fixing the real problems. (Uh oh! It turns out some of these solutions require taxpayer money. It seems that helping suicidal people takes time and effort (aka money) to fix.

Sorry for the rant. This is important to me. Tired of disingenuous defenders of the sanctity of life no matter where I look. It's why I responded the way I did.

Or you know, what Bam said.

I think you're a highly intelligent person @Red and this needless suffering shit just doesn't make sense to you....nor me. I follow the 'what would I do for my dog' rule and all these people are far too squeamish and reactive to the reality of putting yourself down still currently being our only real 'treatment'. Surviving is not living. And living with the T Jemima described and the devestation its done to her life is pure survival....Zero living. It's land of the living dead shit. I'm in the same boat and I don't want platitudes. I want concrete solutions and real hope or I want to cut my losses instead of staggering through life a shadow of my former self as more and more bits fall off.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I follow the 'what would I do for my dog' rule and all these people are far too squeamish and reactive to the reality of putting yourself down still currently being our only real 'treatment'. Surviving is not living. And living with the T Jemima described and the devestation its done to her life is pure survival....Zero living.

I agree with all of the above. The only other thing that needs to be taken into account is the chance of a cure. There might be a cure X years from now, in which case you are balancing the net cost of surviving for X years, and the net benefit of living for ["your non-suicide age at death" - ("your current age" + X)].

 

[Bam]

I agree with all of the above. The only other thing that needs to be taken into account is the chance of a cure. There might be a cure X years from now, in which case you are balancing the net cost of surviving for X years, and the net benefit of living for ["your non-suicide age at death" - ("your current age" + X)].

Agreed, hence my reference to concrete solutions and hope. But I would say the other thing that needs to be taken into account is how much of your quality of life has already been irretrievably ruined, socially, financially, psychologically. This shit fucking shreds a person like nothing else. Some will not recover. Full stop..... All the kings horses and all the kings men couldnt put humpty together again.

 

[Bill Bauer]

This shit fucking shreds a person like nothing else.

Yes, the quality of life if one were to heal will still be below what it used to be before T. One reason for it is that one's access to medical care is reduced as a result of having to think about not risking a permanent T spike. Ototoxic drugs (e.g., Ibuprofen), MRI, and some dental procedures are off the table now and even if one recovers, and this can't be good...

 

[Red]

I agree with all of the above. The only other thing that needs to be taken into account is the chance of a cure. There might be a cure X years from now, in which case you are balancing the net cost of surviving for X years, and the net benefit of living for ["your non-suicide age at death" - ("your current age" + X)].

For tinnitus. Not for hyperacusis. If your hyperacusis is worse than your tinnitus then quality of life is still awful following a tinnitus cure. Most of you probably have some measure of amplification hyperacusis or so many here wouldn't spike so much.

 

[AZeurotuner]

I've been reading @Bill Bauer's posts since I started visiting this forum earlier this year, and find myself agreeing with his advice in almost all instances. What I mostly agree with--if I may interpret the totality of his posts--is that the risks of overprotection in the beginning of tinnitus are FAR less than the risks of underprotection. IOW, there are risks both ways, and we need to be aware of that.

Again, as I understand Bill, he thinks people with tinnitus should be very vigilent about protecting their ears until they can prudently begin to find that delicate balance of not over-protecting or under-protecting. And this process generally takes many months. For those who have followed his advice, I cannot help but believe that many have saved themselves from even worse tinnitus, and possibly permanent harm. Even worse tinnitus has unfortunately happened to many who somehow came to the conclusion that possible over-protection was worse than possible under-protection.

I think Mr. Bauer is a valuable voice and resource on this forum, and that unless somebody misinterpreted his advice, has not been responsible for anybody reaching the point of considering suicide. The (seeming) assertion of that being the case is simply beyond believability.

I don't understand why you are taking advice from a man who has yet to get his own tinnitus and hyperacusis under control. Heck the guy is in such a frail mental state that he started a thread worrying about a "spike" from eating eggs.

He preaches that he doesn't have hyperacusis because he watches TV at a "moderate volume", yet admits to having to wear wearing earplugs in the shower, a sign of severe hyperacusis.

For heavens sake the man has disconnected all the smoke detectors in his home....

Does that sound like an individual that ANYONE should be listening to?

 

[Bam]

For tinnitus. Not for hyperacusis. If your hyperacusis is worse than your tinnitus then quality of life is still awful following a tinnitus cure. Most of you probably have some measure of amplification hyperacusis or so many here wouldn't spike so much.

Let's just hope someone finds a way of taking out the whole lot out. Tinnitus, hyperacusis, all the ear brain noise sensitivity crap fucking wiped out FOREVER! So we can crawl out of this horror movie shit show we're trapped in day and night and try and get back some sort of happiness. Like neromod success lady. That woman is free and walking her dog in silence again. That is my ultimate fucking dream. Just to walk my dog in peace again. And she has that! She got cured by those clever Irish bastards and their fucking nifty little tongue vibrator. She shamrocked this shit and sent it back to hell. Pretty monumental stuff and if it works for some of us lot too then suddenly the game changes. The coping industry and all its little promotors who have mugged us lot off for long enough can fucking do one. We can start taking up arms against this devil and demanding more of these proper treatments and a cure.

 

[Lane]

Heck the guy is in such a frail mental state that he started a thread worrying about a "spike" from eating eggs.

I don't understand the criticism. Why not put literally everything under the microscope to try to discern if it's affecting our tinnitus and/or hyperacusis in a meaningful way? Perhaps a silver lining from such an intense challenge as tinnitus is to learn to think a little more outside our current way of looking at things. We all have our blind spots, in literally every facet of our lives. Who's to say whether one person's approach to dealing with tinnitus is better or worse than another's? To each their own.

For heavens sake the man has disconnected all the smoke detectors in his home....

I didn't know Bill disconnected his smoke detectors, but just to mention, I've disconnected mine as well. I won't go into all my thinking, but when looking at the risk/reward ratio of leaving them on, the decision to disconnect them was a no-brainer for me.

Does that sound like an individual that ANYONE should be listening to?

Not to go out of my way to disagree with you, but I usually find myself in pretty close agreement with BIll. I think he's following the beat of his own drum, as should everybody on this forum. It's our ears, it's our quality of life, it's our decisions on how best to protect each. As I mentioned earlier, to each their own.

 

[AZeurotuner]

I don't understand the criticism. Why not put literally everything under the microscope to try to discern if it's affecting our tinnitus and/or hyperacusis in a meaningful way? Perhaps a silver lining from such an intense challenge as tinnitus is to learn to think a little more outside our current way of looking at things. We all have our blind spots, in literally every facet of our lives. Who's to say whether one person's approach to dealing with tinnitus is better or worse than another's? To each their own.

I didn't know Bill disconnected his smoke detectors, but just to mention, I've disconnected mine as well. I won't go into all my thinking, but when looking at the risk/reward ratio of leaving them on, the decision to disconnect them was a no-brainer for me.

Not to go out of my way to disagree with you, but I usually find myself in pretty close agreement with BIll. I think he's following the beat of his own drum, as should everybody on this forum. It's our ears, it's our quality of life, it's our decisions on how best to protect each. As I mentioned earlier, to each their own.

My point is, that you're taking advice from a man who hasn't got a clue himself, a hypocrite, an extreme introvert who doesn't have any friends, spends all his time outside of work by himself, by choice.

He is chronically stuck at the starting line, but this has practically no effect on him because he doesn't like people or socializing to begin with.

If I gave you two options, you can either listen to a loud beep for a few seconds, or I can take my Glock 30 out and blow your head off, which would choose?

 

[RCP1]

Let's just hope someone finds a way of taking out the whole lot out. Tinnitus, hyperacusis, all the ear brain noise sensitivity crap fucking wiped out FOREVER! So we can crawl out of this horror movie shit show we're trapped in day and night and try and get back some sort of happiness. Like neromod success lady. That woman is free and walking her dog in silence again. That is my ultimate fucking dream. Just to walk my dog in peace again. And she has that! She got cured by those clever Irish bastards and their fucking nifty little tongue vibrator. She shamrocked this shit and sent it back to hell. Pretty monumental stuff and if it works for some of us lot too then suddenly the game changes. The coping industry and all its little promotors who have mugged us lot off for long enough can fucking do one. We can start taking up arms against this devil and demanding more of these proper treatments and a cure.

Glad to ave you on board BAM!

Merry Xmas !

 

[Bam]

Glad to ave you on board BAM!

Merry Xmas !

All in my friend. I can't wait for the Americans to join the war....Merry xmas! Let's pray this is our last in hell. See you soon.