In Loving Memory of Kristen Aber

[Danikam]

I also want to add that threads like this will trigger depression and anxiety in some posters, especially those with severe tinnitus or who are new to tinnitus.

I agree that this can certainly be a trigger for someone... But my hope is that they read the outpouring of love and concern and wanting to support here and reach out!!!

I think it's important for people who are thinking about doing something like this see how much people have an impact on each other... How much the loss of someone affects people around them.

if you think that no one will care if you're gone... This thread is proof that that's simply not true.

There are people you may not even realize that will care very deeply.

 

[Manny]

the sad news are given right away on the board, with no hesitation.

We must do something so horrendous things like that never happen again.

Absolutely. It's only sad that mostly people with T will see this, and not the general population. If only we could raise more awareness that the severe form of this condition can be so bad it can push some people to die by suicide.
Thank you to all individuals reading this who have worked to raise awareness.
I am so, so sad.
RIP Kristen Aber. It seems you were such a kind and "heartfelt" person.
Every tinnitus sufferer is my friend, sister, brother.
Goodbye friend. I hope you are in peace on the other side.

 

[Jazzer]

For those people still struggling I'm sure this is scary.

Yes when this happens it truly shakes me Danikam.
It took so much from me - my music - my passion - my career - my income - my silence.
I have developed some good coping methods, like deep relaxation and meditation, but of course the root cause is still there.
It just reminds me of the dangers we all have to face.

 

[Manny]

I agree that this can certainly be a trigger for someone... But my hope is that they read the outpouring of love and concern and wanting to support here and reach out!!!

I humbly agree with this attitude. Fully acknowledging the sometimes-brutal reality while providing as much support as possible.
Hugs to all who would like. Including myself.

 

[Jazzer]

Why is life so cruel?

Because the universe doesn't give a toss....!!
Some people in it do care, but the universe itself is devoid of feeling.

 

[Danikam]

Yes when this happens it truly shakes me Danikam.
It took so much from me - my music - my passion - my career - my income - my silence.
I have developed some good coping methods, like deep relaxation and meditation, but of course the root cause is still there.
It just reminds me of the dangers we all have to face.

I know you've lost a lot.....I just hope you know that people care about you and are here for you!!

You've come a long way!!!

Xoxo

 

[Jazzer]

I know you've lost a lot.....I just hope you know that people care about you and are here for you!!

You've come a long way!!!

Xoxo

Thank you Danikam - I truly needed just that xx

 

[Danikam]

Thank you Danikam - I truly needed just that xx

Anytime and Everytime Jazzer!!!

 

[glynis]

I think when someone goes to the doctors and struggling with tinnitus if they said

"Would you like to have someone to talk to about your tinnitus and feelings"
It would mean a lot and more reassuring than
"learn to live with it"
when your life has been turned upside down living with torturous tinnitus and ending up on medication.

love glynis

 

[Manny]

Some things making me cry right now. Tinnitus. The death of Kristen. My own losses. And the unbridled support and downright love you wonderful people express amidst this brutal and unforgiving darkness. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Danikam and all the other amazing human beings here.

 

[fishbone]

Folks,

this thread saddens me quite a bit. As someone that has battled this intrusive demon for 30 years 24-7. I know first hand just how hard life can be. If you feel overwhelmed, by the tinnitus do not go at it alone. Please reach out to someone and express your frustrations. Talk with someone, let them know how you feel. If you need a shoulder to cry on, just ask. I am very vocal and open if I need help. I take that action right away and make sure that things turn out ok.

I saw my therapist recently, and I played a video that explained what tinnitus was and the different sound and frequencies of tinnitus. She began developing, so much empathy towards what I face all the time. At times all of us are crying out for help. We need support, love. We need to be held and motivated that we are going to be ok.

I pray for the family members/friends affected, and all of you......

 

[Tinker Bell]

Whatever you do, don't commit suicide during the first two years after onset. There is a very high chance that one or both of the following events will happen: T could fade or you might habituate to the point where you will no longer feel like suicide is the best option for you.

This 100 percent. The first six months were incredibly difficult for me and thoughts of suicide were continual. I set a date for after the first year and then tried my best to live the year I had given myself. With ear protection and some changes, of course, I found my new norm and lived it.

I also sought out help. I wrote a goodbye letter and poured out all my pain. I shared the depth of my feelings with those closest to me and they quickly rallied to support me.

I also learned to recognize the lies of depression. It makes us believe that no one has ever had it worse than us, that we're not strong enough to survive what we're enduring, that no one can possibly understand our pain and that our pain is a burden to others. None of that is true, and this forum is filled with proof of that.

I think when someone goes to the doctors and struggling with tinnitus if they said

"Would you like to have someone to talk to about your tinnitus and feelings"
It would mean a lot and more reassuring than
"learn to live with it"
when your life has been turned upside down living with torturous tinnitus and ending up on medication.

love glynis

An excellent point. I really think this advice should be conveyed to doctors. Many people will never learn to move forward if they do not talk to someone about their struggle.

My condolences to Kristen's friends and family.

 

[IvanRus]

In Kristen's bright memory.

But I would like to speak out. In fact, I am against such topics, and against such a wide "savoring" on Tinnitus Talk of suicide cases.

Yes, people leave, people commit suicide, because what more respectful reason to commit suicide than tinnitus, you can come up with on Earth? Tinnitus is a direct carte blanche for suicide.

In fact, I suspect that up to 30-40% of participants registered at different times to tinnitus forums have committed suicide.

This forum has primarily the mission of support and optimism, and should not drive into the limelight such examples of suicide, especially considering how the beginners will feel reading about it.

This is too wrong, in relation to those who are struggling and trying to live, no matter what.

Such posts about suicide can only cause many to become depressed and desperate. This should not be the case on a support forum.

Once again, a bright memory.

 

[valeri]

This is such a horrible news!

People please tell me what needs to happen for us to wake up and demand treatment????!!!!

 

[Robert18]

RIP Kristen.

Life is so hard with tinnitus, but we need to fight and move on.

May God bless us all.

 

[Contrast]

We need a treatment more than ever.

Obviously this is the reason why.

No need for the majority of the ATA's budget to go to mindfulness, cognitive behavior therapies, TRT (under a new name).

We need real research to reduce tinnitus!

They need to stop parroting the crap when there are many studies showing tinnitus originates in the brain and evidence that suggest increasing GABA, signal timing and restoring hearing loss can reduce tinnitus.

Couldn't she just hang in till Susan Shore's device became public?

Did she know about this good news, so many cognitive therapists discourage people from wanting to know about research and make them feel guilty for not habituating.

Please make these suicides stop and value research to reduce tinnitus before anything.

 

[Jazzer]

RIP Kristen.

Life is so hard with tinnitus, but we need to fight and move on.

May God bless us all.

What happened to Danny Boy and Kristen highlights the pain, frustration and despair we all have to face, minute by minute, and every day of our lives, from this wretched predicament of loud on-going head-noise, while also having to come to terms with all that Tinnitus has stolen from us.

It also brings home to us that perhaps our biggest danger is the reality of what could happen to us
'at our own hand.'

'God may be in his heaven for some folks?'
Well he certainly 'ain't in mine......

(I've always been allergic to mumbo-jumbo)

 

[Jcb]

How heartbreaking. Hopefully she has found peace and silence in whatever is out there.

 

[vermillion]

Another one. How many more?
Will Tinnitus Hub make ATA etc. aware of these news?

 

[Alex Prime]

RIP... may she find silence on the other side. The governments must fund the search for cure. This is intolerable.

 

[Wolfears]

Another one. How many more?
Will Tinnitus Hub make ATA etc. aware of these news?

This is horrible news...I suspect there are others who chose this route as well but we will never be able to confirm, such as Bam, Momo or Dayl.

I never had any conversations with Kristen but from what I can gather she was a lovely lady.

I hope that those who think its just "a little noise" are starting to wake up to the reality.

 

[valeri]

This is horrible news...I suspect there are others who chose this route as well but we will never be able to confirm, such as Bam, Momo or Dayl.

I never had any conversations with Kristen but from what I can gather she was a lovely lady.

I hope that those who think its just "a little noise" are starting to wake up to the reality.

Only last night I heard of a man who did it 2 years ago after 20 years of struggle with tinnitus and hyperacusis.

As you said there are many we don't know about!

 

[annV]

For a second you were flying
Like you always wanted to
Now you'll fly forever
In skies of azure blue
We'll see your smile in every ray
Of sunshine after rain
And hear the echo of your laughter
Over all the pain
The world's a little quieter now
The colours have lost their hue
The birds are singing softly
And our hearts are missing you
Each time we see a little cloud
Or a rainbow soaring high
We'll think of you and gently
Wipe a tear from our eye


For Kristen

 

[jimH]

For a second you were flying
Like you always wanted to
Now you'll fly forever
In skies of azure blue....

Yesterday, before I saw this thread, I had been listening to a beautiful instrumental, "Fly Away." The melody was still playing in my head as I learned of Kristen's death and read the posts. I actually posted that fact and included the YouTube video of it. After a few minutes, I had second thoughts and deleted it. Perhaps I should have left it. I don't know.

However, after reading your post I feel that maybe it fits well with those words. It's beautiful and really nice when viewed in full screen mode. I hope you enjoy it:

 

[annV]

Yesterday, before I saw this thread, I had been listening to a beautiful instrumental, "Fly Away." The melody was still playing in my head as I learned of Kristen's death and read the posts. I actually posted that fact and included the YouTube video of it. After a few minutes, I had second thoughts and deleted it. Perhaps I should have left it. I don't know.

However, after reading your post I feel that maybe it fits well with those words. It's beautiful and really nice when viewed in full screen mode. I hope you enjoy it:

That is beautiful. Thank you.

 

[Stevenjonesuk]

I also want to add that threads like this will trigger depression and anxiety in some posters, especially those with severe tinnitus or who are new to tinnitus.

I don't know. I think posts like this should be allowed. Why paint over it? It's happening!!

Mine is severe and every living day I think about suicide - I was living with it, managed for over two years even habituate to it until it decided in its own right to up the volume and go super loud - it's bad enough dealing with the noises but the anxiety and depression that it brings is unbelievable!!

I cracked recently and went to A&E. My folks dragged me because I was so suicidal - got referred to a mental health team, knew it would go that route, didn't take me in which was what I thought would happen even though I admitted to suicidal feelings - at the time I was thinking of user on here, @Bam I think his name was, who got caught on a bridge and got sent to mental hospital!!

I'm ready to die. Love life, the blue sky, the green grass but this condition is unbearable.

I've fought it for too long now, the only real thing keeping me going is the pain I know it will cause my mom especially!!!

I lost it last week, walked out the house ready to do something and she phoned and cried down the phone and I still have the voicemail and the pain in her cries hurt me - I just don't think I'm strong enough.

 

[dayma]

Such sad news. I don't have much to add except sadness overall for her and her family.

 

[Rajin]

RIP Kristen, so sad. There needs to be more done to get a treatment. This is serious condition. People taking their own lives.

 

[Stevenjonesuk]

Only last night I heard of a man who did it 2 years ago after 20 years of struggle with tinnitus and hyperacusis.

As you said there are many we don't know about!

That sounds like the musician from the band Inspiral Carpets, a popular music band here in the UK, 20 years he fought it till one day he cracked - he'd gone the cinema, I think it was with wife and kids and decided to go home early, his wife then returned home to find him hanging in the house.

Very sad.

 

[Jazzer]

I don't know. I think posts like this should be allowed. Why paint over it? It's happening!!

Mine is severe and every living day I think about suicide - I was living with it, managed for over two years even habituate to it until it decided in its own right to up the volume and go super loud - it's bad enough dealing with the noises but the anxiety and depression that it brings is unbelievable!!

I cracked recently and went to A&E. My folks dragged me because I was so suicidal - got referred to a mental health team, knew it would go that route, didn't take me in which was what I thought would happen even though I admitted to suicidal feelings - at the time I was thinking of user on here, @Bam I think his name was, who got caught on a bridge and got sent to mental hospital!!

I'm ready to die. Love life, the blue sky, the green grass but this condition is unbearable.

I've fought it for too long now, the only real thing keeping me going is the pain I know it will cause my mom especially!!!

I lost it last week, walked out the house ready to do something and she phoned and cried down the phone and I still have the voicemail and the pain in her cries hurt me - I just don't think I'm strong enough.

I am with you every step of the way here Steve.
But what can we do.................???