Nick Pyzik
Member
- Nov 16, 2015
- 414
- Tinnitus Since
- 6/23/15
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Listening to in-ear headphones & playing in a band
I believe it is a kind of post traumatic stress disorder which could eventually diminish, without any drugs, but if natural supplements seem to help you continue with them if they are harmless. I say that because I suffered exactly the same. After many months overnight I listened to music again with the same former good feelings though punch, sharpness in what I listen is bad compared to the past. My ears break like glass if I don't take care and my hearing is muffled compared to the past along with difficulties to hear in noise. I was told by all the doctors I was mentally ill when telling the same issues you have currently but years after I finally notice it's themselves who were mentally sick with their deny and ignorance.
If you manage to listen to music again like before though bad quality, you could do music again and listen to it like before concerning feelings. Btw I learned how to produce music and how sound is build after acoustic traumas. But I fear my tinnitus and hearing goes more and more bad with time. And lack of high fidelity with lack of punch makes me sometimes desperate. But since the paradigm in hearing knowledges might change, I hope future therapies will give us back inner ear high fidelity again along with ability to play live with moderate level and listen to headphones, again with moderate level.
I believe your emotional issues are linked to the fact that you felt very accurately the music since you are a musician. A few weeks before my first trauma (loud loudspeaker noise in student event) I often listened to vinyls and felt how punchy and sharp the sound was. And after the trauma when I listened to them, it sounded lofi and for a few months I did no felt anything when listening to music along with a very bad mood. Since then, my hearing became worse because even moderately loud noise causes trauma, we must take care, capitalize what's remaining before a cure exists.
I'm sorry to say that I don't believe in the names of mental disorders that doctors or any sort of practitioner can give you. I care more about the functional systems inside our brain that can be looked at like a puzzle with the correct information and understanding of how each region works. Depression, Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar Disorder are a few mental disorders that are categorized differently yet are all involved in the same loss of gray matter in the brain. I don't mean to sound rude but truthfully, I stubbornly know exactly what has happened to my brain from my hearing issue. I just don't know what changes will be continually taking place over time through the structural foundations of cells and neurons in my brain. I seem to still be making memories each day, but they are fairly faint even with me taking supplements recommended for mental health.
Our consciousness is made up of only the memories created through chemically (emotionally) composed neurons as we aged from birth and up until present day. Our senses are what created those memories. As I'm sure you understand, new neurons are said to be created everyday while we lose older ones over time. The stronger your emotions are or "chemically neurotransmitting functions" through your senses, the stronger your memories will be from those moments. Although our sight, touch, taste, and smell all can bring back memories through your past life of growing up, I can't get over the fact that I believe our sense of "hearing" is so incredibly emotionally informational that it has to be one of our biggest emotional influences on how we perceive this world and store memories in our brain.
Now speaking about my actual hearing, there are a few things going on with it presently. Mainly, If I try to focus on a sound and there are other louder noises going on around me, then that sound gets drowned out and I can't process it. I've also basically lost my ability to process high frequencies even though I can still pick up in a absolutely quiet room the highest possible frequency a human can hear. Lastly, I can still enjoy music, but I feel no change in emotion while "hearing" it. I can't listen to music on headphones because I have no threshold to sound anymore. It's almost distorted sounding when I play it that close inside my ear. Even loud speakers give me a distorted sound. I can pick up what instruments are being played in any song I listen too, but the timbre, quality, and loudness inside my head of what I hear is gone.