You are very kind. I am sorry you are going through something like this. I didn't think there are others that are this affected by tinnitus and what is accompanying it. My family always tells me to just enjoy life and go out etc. I tried for a while, but as soon as there is an incident with noise I isolate myself again and feel guilty for days for having gone outside in the first place and potentially having caused damage to my ears. I feel so pathetic. But all I crave is quiet.
Then I can go days at home without being bothered by my tinnitus. I do not mind the solitude as much as I mind tinnitus. So I am ultimately alright with staying at home, even though I do acknowledge that I am "wasting" time with regards to my career.
But of course I have to work some time. So I got this extremely sought after job this year but I cannot focus on it very well. My performance suffers of course, but I don't think my boss took me seirously when I said it was a medical condition. He just repeated that no one else ever had issues with the AC noise.
I do not live in the US, I am from Europe. I don't think many people care about tinnitus because a lot of other people have an easy time coping with it. It is just seen as a minor annoyance. Me, I used to be able to somewhat cope well with my tinnitus. At least I was not aware of EVERY sound I heard and would not avoid places to this extent. It all kind of changed when I moved 2 years ago, to an area where there were a lot of construction sites. I grew more and more anxious and irritated over time until I couldn't stand the construction site noise anymore. From then onwards, I've been alert of every noise, especially outside.
Thank you for your nice words. I really hope something changes, soon. I'd love to feel carefree again and focus on things that I used to care about once (I haven't read a book in ages).