Moves Like Jagger

[Louise]

I was just in the pharmacy and the song 'Moves Like Jagger' by Maroon 5 came on. I have a lot of good memories about that song, pre-T. My sister and I loved the song, the christmas before last I put it on and was dancing around the house like an idiot to it and we had such a good laugh.

I almost cried in the pharmacy when I remembered that, how I used to be before T.

Do you think anyone goes back to how they were before T hit? I know a lot of people on here struggle otherwise we wouldnt be on here. But even people who have had T for years on here have said that life is not the same. Does anyone get it back properly?

Sorry, Im having more of a downer today than usual and just wanted to share what just happened.

 

[Marty]

Will life be the same as before we first got T? I don't think so. We learn and we change from experiences. Even if my tinnitus was cured now I'd still be aware of the problem and therefore forever avoid loud enviroments e.t.c. So I don't think life will be the same as before. But that does absolutely not mean that we wont enjoy it as much as before. That's one of the challenges in life and I do believe everyone is able to enjoy life 100% and find relief.

 

[Marty]

And even though you cried, I'm glad you remember. As long as we remember, there's hope. Remeber, one day you will probably feel that way again, and it might be sooner than you expect

 

[Louise]

But that's the point, I dont think I ever will feel that way again. By comparison I was care-free (didnt think so at the time) but there was nothing heavy weighting me down and giving me severe depression like this has. I feel different to other people now. I look at them and think 'youre normal, Im not'. I feel disabled. If Im talking to someone I can hear the noise in my ears and I know they cant hear it and I feel weird.

I would love to get back to how I was, or something close.

 

[mick]

I've made a similar comment so many times. For me the phrase has been, "I just want to go back to being me." There is little question that T has changed me tremendously. When they talk about cortical reorganization and all that, I'm certain it has occured to me. I not only feel cortically reorganized because of my T - I genuinely feel like I can feel the reorganization directly. My brain is not the same brain as I had pre-T. The background thoughts that used to occupy my mind are no longer there . I have an entirely different (less happy) outlook on life. Much of my background thoughts are now focused on tinnitus and health where before those things just weren't there. But as I've alluded to before, I think that outlook may also promote the T. I wonder if just thinking different thoughts can bring about cortical reorganization and make the T go into remission. Would organizing our brains by thinking different thoughts be any less effective than trying to do it with electrical stimulation, magnetic stimulation, drugs, Neuromonics, or the host of other methods that are supposed to help with it?

 

[Louise]

I've used that phrase too, a lot. T seems to have taken 'me' away. I identify with the change in thoughts too. I used to think about finances and not very good stuff but also clothes! I actually used to think about what type of coat I would buy 'this season' and be interested in it. I cant imagine doing anything like that now. Its all I can do to get dressed, in anything. Now, its all T, all my thoughts are about that.

Negative thinking is supposed to be bad for T, its also focussing on it which you are not supposed to do. The positive thinkers get the best results but from where I am that's not possible right now.

 

[Marty]

Don't think of it as the tinnitus has changed you. I'll anwser that with something I read in the book "for every dog an angel" by Christine Davis. She said to a friend that she wasn't expecting herself to take this road, to which she got the reply; but Chris, this is your road. It just doesn't look the way she had first imagined.

 

[Louise]

Hmmm I dont really believe in roads planned out for us. Thanks though

 

[Emma]

I think of it this way, life can change forever for us in any multitude of ways. And we might never be the same after this happens. Think of the following examples:
- A child's parents die suddenly. Life is never the same again for them.
-Someone gets in an accident. They become paralyzed. Life is never the same again for them.
-Someone goes blind. Life is never the same again.
-Someone has a stroke and has to walk with a cane. Life is never the same again.
-Someone gets kidney failure and has to do dialysis. Life is never the same again.
-Someone suffers burns during a fire, maybe on their face. Life is never the same again.

Life can change at any moment. We dont think about this fact and I think that adds to the stress when something does happen.

 

[Marty]

Ohh absoloutely not, I belive we lay our own path yes. But sometimes you don't have the stone you need or want and have to take what you get. But it's still the same road that you made yourself. Does that make sense? Wow I must stop talking in parables lol!

 

[Louise]

Yes, I believe we make our own lives, that they are not pre-destined as some believe. Some people just get some bad luck, wrong place, wrong time and end up with T or some other awful thing.

 

[Marty]

Yes sometimes it might be better to be prepared, Emma. In fact I'm going through this thing right now with some stuff in life. But by preparing for the worst I'm also pre-assuming the worst, which itself can be just as bad or sometimes even worse than not being prepared once it happens.

 

[Louise]

Its supposed to be worse! Can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. There's quite a lot of stuff about the brain not knowing the difference between real and imagined events. Not that Im any good at not thinking the worst mind, Im just saying

 

[Emma]

I also like to think that we do have control over MOST of the things in life that cause harm. We can choose whether or not to drink and drive. We can choose whether or not to do drugs. We can choose what we eat, etc. So luckily many bad things can be easily avoided. Even T could be avoided if there was more public awareness of it. I wish ear/hearing exams were recommended yearly the way dental and eye exams are.

 

[stantheman]

Louise - I recall very well what I was like pre - T and long for those times again. But I realize that is in the past. I am not the same as I was. But even if I did not have T I still would not be the same. Everything and everyone changes with the passage of time. Even though I will not be the same pre - T I just don't want to suffer. I think it is possible to adjust but it takes a long time. I have high hopes.

 

[stantheman]

BTW - I love the Rolling Stones. But after seeing them in a recent interview I really think they need to give it up.

 

[Sen]

i love early Stones, but Maroon 5 is one of the worst bands of all time.

 

[click]

But that's the point, I dont think I ever will feel that way again. By comparison I was care-free (didnt think so at the time) but there was nothing heavy weighting me down and giving me severe depression like this has. I feel different to other people now. I look at them and think 'youre normal, Im not'. I feel disabled. If Im talking to someone I can hear the noise in my ears and I know they cant hear it and I feel weird. I would love to get back to how I was, or something close.

I don't think we'll ever be the same as we were before T, whether it stays with us as it is, or we habituate or it goes completely. Every major happening in life changes us. But it doesn't mean that life will be worse - just different.

I don't believe in fate either. We make our own fate - every action has a reaction, every choice you make has a consequence. We make those choices and we act as we choose to act. It would sometimes be easier to 'put it down to fate' but that's like saying someone has our whole lives planned out before we're even born - or at least a series of lives depending on the path we take. I think parallel universes are more likely and even more scientifically possible! Although I don't necessarily think we've got those either ... (click is rambling ... no T all day wow! except for the morning buzz... )

Louise... time.. & the harder bit - acceptance... that's what will make it better for you.
Damned easy for me to say eh?
Hope you're ok x

 

[Louise]

Louise - I recall very well what I was like pre - T and long for those times again. But I realize that is in the past. I am not the same as I was. But even if I did not have T I still would not be the same. Everything and everyone changes with the passage of time. Even though I will not be the same pre - T I just don't want to suffer. I think it is possible to adjust but it takes a long time. I have high hopes.

My goal is also to just not suffer.

BTW - I love the Rolling Stones. But after seeing them in a recent interview I really think they need to give it up.

Nah, let 'em go on for as long as they can. I think its quite inspirational!

 

[Louise]

i love early Stones, but Maroon 5 is one of the worst bands of all time.

Moves Like Jagger is a top tune though dont you think? Very original. I also liked 'She Will Be Loved' (may not be the correct title).