It is a shock when life throws you a curve ball, especially when that unexpected change takes away something or changes the plan, what you were expecting. When tinnitus and noxacusis first took away my music, I fell into a depression for about 6 months, the loneliness was crushing. That's OK, you are mourning a loss of sorts, processing what has happened, getting used to a new normal, at least for now. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it sucks and it's OK for this to upset you or shock you at first. I encourage you to accept this without blame or anger, especially towards yourself. It's not anyone's fault, it just is. Shit happens all throughout our lives, it never goes exactly to plan. We have to be flexible and adapt, we have to be thankful for what we do have, what is available to work with.
One of the biggest threats to happiness is focusing on what we don't have, comparing our situation to others. For every human on earth there are those with more and less than us so that does not matter. It's also destructive to focus on the negative past or fear the future. We have to work with and enjoy what we have in this exact moment. Your wife, kids, friends, hobbies, nature, whatever it is. You have to make adjustments and build on that with your new normal. My wife had four different cancers before she died. At one point she could no longer go out in the sun most of the day. At dinner one night she started crying and I asked her what was wrong. She said I ruined your life, we can't do any of our activities together (boating, fishing, golf, gardening, etc). I said you didn't ruin my life, you make my life extraordinary, I don't care about any of that stuff, we will make new hobbies and activities, I just want to be with you. We got about 3 more years together after that and I am grateful for every minute after she got sick.
I think that we have a tendency to destroy our own happiness when challenges come along, to cast blames, be angry, be gripped in fear, give up, etc. Challenges and problems are part of the human condition, this is how it works. The question is, what are we going to do about it? Our intentions, our attitude, our mindset have a great impact on how these things turn out. It changes our body and brain chemistry, it rewires our brains through neuroplacticity, it changes our energy and the energy/people that we attract around us.
When I get down about life taking something from me, I read about amazing human accomplishment in the face of insurmountable odds. Someone who had to face a major shit sandwich and achieved something amazing, seemingly impossible. That reminds me what we can overcome, what we are capable of, what our intentions will do.
This condition is real and it can be devastating especially at first but we can deal with this, we can dust ourselves off, recalibrate and move forward. I was successful at precision pistol shooting before I had to give it up because of my ears. I would get asked about how to get good enough to compete at the highest level and I would say it's simple. Every time you raise that gun you must have the singular intention to shoot a ten regardless of the last shot, the crappy weather, your sore arm, broken rib, lack of sleep, ... You must put all negative thoughts out of your head and know that you can shoot a ten right now no matter what. Now there are books full of preparation and on equipment and technique which is like us mastering diet, supplements, protection, sleep strategies etc but believe me, the biggest determinant of our outcome is our intention.
I hope all the best for you, that you are able to tame this beast and live along side a reduced version like a slightly annoying neighbor that you don't think about most of the time. Let's all go to that place together.
George
Member