New Here — Really, Really Need Some Help. Don't Know How Long I Can Last...

[PConD]

Hi,

Out of the blue one morning in early Feb I woke up with a loud high-pitched whine in my ears. Non stop since. Had a hearing test, anitivirals, anti-inflammatory, etc etc. nothing helps. No reason they can find for it. Have a follow up appointment with the specialist mid-March.

At this stage they think its probably permanent. Been trying to mask it with other sounds, but nothing works particularly well. It's really loud. Affecting my sleep, my ability to work, can't eat, everything basically. I'm really suffering with it - been grinding me down over the last month. Last night was really bad. At this point I am on the verge of a complete breakdown, nearly suicidal.

Need some advice, any advice on how to survive the next month. Is is better to take time off work or try to keep busy. Should I tell my boss. Should I try antianxiety meds, sleeping pills. I have two young boys to take care of at home - they are the only thing that is keeping me going. But right now I don;t know how long I can survive.

Peter

 

[billie48]

Welcome to the forum, Peter. You are in the right place as many of us were where you are right now. We understand what you are going through. Tinnitus is not an end game. After spending time here learning and getting support, many new T sufferers have gotten better and some have written their success stories in the Success Stories forum (under Knowledge Base), including myself. A few years back I was suffering very much from ultra high pitch T and then severe hyperacusis. I was full of anxiety and panic, and had suicidal thoughts too like you. I thought I would never have happy life again. But today I am living an enjoyable and productive life like before T. So don't panic too much. Your T is relatively new and it may fade in time. In the meantime, try to read up something uplifting such as the success stories and the Positivity thread at the top of the Support Forum. If you are interested in some strategies that have helped me, here is my success story link.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/from-darkness-to-light-how-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

Right now with the traumatic reaction to T, your brain is under the control of the limbic system, and it functions in 'fight or flight' mode which tends to make you think that things are much worse than they are. Beware of many distorted thoughts at this stage. These are cognitive distortions as in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Typical distorted thoughts at this stage are like 'life is not worth it' (All or Nothing Thinking), or 'my future is doomed' (Catastrophic Thinking). Don't believe in these distorted thoughts, which can lead you to think that T is a catastrophe or an end game. T is not a catastrophe. It can fade away or if it stays, it is livable and many people prove that in the success stories, myself included.

You can also try to get some masking going so you won't be so anxious of the T sound. Here are some masking suggestions:

1) Mask at bed time so you can sleep better. Find whatever sounds/music that are soothing to you. You can use a sound machine or sound pillow for this, or a computer with speakers.

2) If you need masking on the go, try load an ipad with nature sounds or music using itune, or use smart phone. You can also order some nature sounds via 'itune' to play on your PC.

3) If you have computer and speakers, you can try these excellent masking sounds:

TT's audio player: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/audioplayer/

or download free sound generator 'aire freshener': http://www.peterhirschberg.com/mysoftware.html

or make your own rain sound: http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/rainNoiseGenerator.php

or search youtube with words like 'tinnitus masking sounds', 'white noise', 'rain sound' etc.

So don't panic and despair. There are many things you can do to improve your condition. Try to copy success via some of the great success stories. Have a bright hope for your future that you will be well again and enjoy your family like I do now. Take great care. God bless.

 

[Karen]

Hi, Peter, and welcome!

I'm so sorry you're suffering right now. When mine first started, I remember thinking it would be best to quit my job, and I came very close to doing so. However, although I did take a short leave (a couple weeks), I found that it was actually more therapeutic to keep busy. Work for me was, and continues to be, the best therapy I know of to keep my mind off the noises within.

Should you tell your boss? Well, it actually depends upon the circumstances and personality of your boss, and your company. Some people are more understanding than others. If you do tell him/her, be prepared that he may not really understand what you're going through. I tried telling my supervisor (at the time), and I don't think she truly understood how devastating a condition this can be.

The best things you can do for yourself right now are staying busy, trying not to give in to depression, using background sounds (as suggested by Billie48), taking calming supplements or a short-term dose of anti-anxiety meds, and perhaps at some point trying out hearing aids/maskers, that work for some tinnitus sufferers. For me, natural supplements that help a bit are magnesium, NAC (N-acetylcistene), and holy basil. These will not take away your tinnitus, but they may calm you, and the NAC will protect your ears from further damage.

As time goes on, your brain and body will begin to adjust to the new level of tinnitus, and you'll begin to feel a lot better. There is no hard and fast time frame for this; it depends on the individual. But you can help yourself toward habituation by trying to live your life as normally as possible. I know, it's hard, but it can be done.

We're here to support you as you go through this, and wish you the best.

Take care, and keep us posted on how you're doing.

Very best wishes,
Karen

 

[PConD]

Thanks for the reply Billie. I really, really appreciate it. Not sure where I'm going to go with with this, but reading your story has at least given me some hope.

 

[PConD]

Hi Karen. When I *can* focus on my work, it actually helps. It's just been getting harder and harder each day.
I don;t think I'll tell my boss for the moment, and at least try to keep going. The ironic thing is that I work in a medical research institute (though not anything to do with hearing) - maybe I'll start up a tinnitus research program.

I'm going take your suggestion and to head back to my Dr. to get some short-term anti-anxiety med (though I kind of hate the idea). Think it would help me to stabilize in the short-term.

And thanks for your reply - just talking about this with folks who understand has really helped.

 

[Karen]

Yes, that is rather ironic that you work for a medical research institute, but I love your idea of eventually starting up a tinnitus research program. We can certainly use more research focusing on tinnitus -- its effect on the body and brain, its possible causes, and maybe some day, its cures.

I think a short-term med is fine, and it may help you get through some of the rough spots right now. Eventually, you will probably be able to do without it, and maybe try some natural supplements instead.

Take care, and I hope you have a good evening, and are able to get some sleep.

Best wishes,
Karen