New Here... And In Need of Some Good Advice

[Sebastians]

hey good people, finally decided to make an account here as i've come to the conclusion i won't make it on my own after three months of trying to cope with T... And it looks like it's not going anywhere soon
I'm in need of your kind words, guidance and moral support.
About three months ago, i was exposed to a loud blast one night (one round out of a Glock 19 in an enclosed space - not my fault, just the wrong place at the wrong time). The blastwave bounced off the wall into my left ear. Hearing was muffled in both ears for a couple of days, sharp pain in the left ear immediately after impact and temporary hearing loss in that ear as well. Went home in a state of total shock, but managed to fall into a comatose sleep and the hearing loss was all but gone in the morning. Things seemed distorted for a couple of days (broken speaker sound) on the left side. And T ever since (crickets in left side of brain), intermittent 1000 hz hum in right, and some weird noises that creep in there when in silent places.
Went to two hospitals about 5-6 days later as things did not improve after that (should have acted more quickly, but wasn't aware of any acute treatments like HBOT and infusion therapy after onset - learned all of that stuff from you guys). Have only been prescribed a 9 day course of Prednisolone (medrol). Audiogram showed no significant hearing loss, although í'm sure i lost some higher frequencies in my left ear (upwards of 12000 hz, can hear til 15500 hz approx in right ear), as well as some notches around 3500 hz. Of course undetected by a standard audiogram..
Been trying to pick up the pieces and learn how to live with my T, this proved harder than i could ever imagine. I'm stuck in this cycle of fear and anxiety. Everything seems louder (trains, doors, traffic,...) although i don't seem to have H (cuttlery etc doesn't bother me), some sounds seem to upset me (like a bus breaking) a bit. Think it is mainly psychological as my focus is on my hearing.
I seem to be able to go through the day and ignore my T for longer periods, but i'm afraid to aggravate it through exposure to moderate and semi-loud noises such as trams passinh by, sudden bangs and what not.
Ever since three weeks, i wake up after 2 hours to huge spikes that keep me from falling asleep again. They abate when i drag myself out of bed into the shower and get on with the day. Before that i was sleeping very well, but stress got the best of me it seems. My personal life is in shambles as well (breakup, personal problems all over) which goes hand in hand with an increased focus on T.
My questions for now:
- where should i protect my hearing in the acute stage (trains, traffic, public transport, ..) i'm laying off loud places anyways for a long while.
- should i resort to sleep meds and AD's for my sleeping problems and anxiety? Which ones are safest to use in terms of non ototoxity?
- is it possible to develop H over time, due to worsening of hearing or longer term exposure to noise?
- i think i suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome more than anything. I don't think TRT will do me much good at this point. What do you guys think? I already demystified T by reading up on it, and use sound enrichment and other stuff too keep my focus off the T.
This is the hardest situation i've ever been in in my entire life. Although every situation is unique, i hope i will pull through somehow this ordeal.
Thanks for your time, fellow-travellers!

 

[kristinsj]

i so want to be able to help you, but the history you are sharing is too far from my own to be recommending you to do or to not do. But I would most definitely encourage you to try and sort out both your possible post-traumatic stress disorder, and the stress and anxiety that you experience. T is hard core even 'on its own', and i think you are right to put TRT on hold until you have sorted your othwr stuff out a bit more. Wishing you all the best

 

[Sebastians]

Thanks for your kind words. A friend who is a psychologist i talked to over the phone this evening is going to recommend me asomeone in my town. He suggested to work on underlying issues to help me adapt to this difficult period in life. I tried on my own and hit a wall so i need guidance in this.
In the short run i need to get my sleep pattern in check.. We'll see how it goes
Hope you are well!
S.

 

[Bobby B]

If I were you I would protect my ears all the time that includes inside cars - trains - street etc you need to give your ears a rest for a full year and give the body a chance to heal and get back some Db - Don't worry about dealing wiht T yet you have the rest of your life to deal with it but only a year of opportunity to get some Db back - you had a single accoustic trauma and it's possible to get improvement and T will eventually get softer but only later .

Wear ear plugs or ear muffs - I wear my ear muffs in public spaces all the time and no one gives me a strange look as they look like head phones

Also get on a course of vitamin b12 and ATP that's what my end gave me
Nac and l- Carnitine work too to protect you hearing and maybe get some back

 

[Sebastians]

Thanks @Bobby B for your help. I intuitively started to protect my ears in most noisy outdoor situations (malls, train stations, gym, city noise, etc). Situations that didn't bother me before T still seem uncomfortably loud at times. I wear my bose QC headphones (without the noise cancelling on and no music of course) to give me about 15 db protection, that just takes the edge away from sudden loud sounds and it looks like i'm listening to music anyways so no stares.
But i go for longer walks in more controlled surroundings like a park and listen to music through good speakers and tv at lower volumes in order not to desensitize my ears too much.
Was playing guitar in a band (always with ear protection) but told the guys i will have to take a long break from any loud environments unfortunately. Won't risk any complications at this point.
Been taking all kind of supplements for a long time before as i go to the gym several times a week (Magnesium, fish oil, multi vitamins, etc). I believe this somewhat attributed to my hearing still being rather 'okay' despite sustaining such a loud a loud blast.
Do you get those nightly spikes too? I can get through the day fine mostly, but keep waking up to loud buzzing in my head since a couple of weeks. Not the person to try sleeping meds, but had to take half an ambien (zolpidem) to give my body some rest. Good quality sleep is key to better recovery it seems.

 

[Bobby B]

I can sleep okay now but the first month was tough - I took melatonin and also use some noise app on my iPhone to focus the Brain on other noise - at low volume of course - such as white noise or high frequency chimes sounds
I still use these sounds at night helps a lot shutting down the t
After a while you will get used to it at night and not really notice it eventually but there may eb spikes if your stressed etc..
I too got t from firearms but of course the noisy music from years - decades - before just made it much easier to get hearing issues and t
.

 

[Bobby B]

You need to keep your brain to focus on other things - at night it's harder so the sounds help a lot
Or maybe install a full light show wiht disco ball and lasers and all in your bedroom, and that will keep the brain focused too but harder to sleep

Just kidding but you get the idea - get your brain busy and not tuned to the t

 

[Alue]

My condolences, I just had a similar trauma at work that has impacted me the same. It was not a gunshot but was a short sudden very loud noise in a confined space.

While wearing hearing plugs 24/7 will protect your hearing, I think it might make H appear worse as you deprive yourself normal ambient noise level input.

I'm suffering with the same damn thing and it's been rough. The T is the worst, but the H has been bothersome as well. I can't drown out the T with ambient noise, but wearing hearing plugs just makes it scream.

 

[Sebastians]

Allright folks, so october 13th was the one year anniversary for my new best friend T, who is always around, even if i don't want to have any company.
This definately is not a 'success story' by any stretch but at least i feel comfortable enough to write a 'recovery story' of some sorts after 12 months.
Ever since around may, my T has been very stable, which makes it a hell of a lot easier to deal with. I guess my T became centralised around this time. Before it was very volatile and fluctuating between very low in the morning and 6-7/10 in the evening. I would have these insane nightly spikes where my whole head was buzzing and i could actually 'feel' the hyperactivity in my left frontal loba, as if there was an army of ants crawling through that part of my brain. I had all kind of sound distorion in my left ear as well, and some form of painless H, where metal, keys, squeeky wheels and gym shoes would sound weird and make me whince. This sensitivity is almost gone, bar some older models of cars braking. I am also less nervous around dishes, cutlery and glasses clanging. What i do still have is some form of TTS, where my left eardrum 'whoomps' to certain noises. It's not related to the loudness of sounds but rather to the frequency (like silently strumming my guitar or certain voices f ex). I do hope this will pass over time as it can get annoying when it happens.
Sleep is no longer an issue and i can lie in without much trouble nowadays. I would rate my T around 3 in the morning aftr waking and in the later evening and 1-2 during the day. I can distract myself from my T mostly, but i can really get annoying at times when i notice it again.
My T is multi tonal marked by a dominant electrical hiss with sometimes a 3900 hz tone cutting through it and a 666hz (not kidding you!) soft tone underneath it on my left side. Sometimes the hiss and the tones seem to battle it out for dominance. On my right, i have a very soft, barely audible 'owl hoot' kind of tone, which is intermittent. I will usually notice it only at night.
I can't say i've got my life back, but i feel i am at 75-80% of what is was before:
- I quit playing in a band, but i still practise guitar at home at low volumes and enjoy making music. I am planning to build a small studio next year and start recording stuff on my own. I ditched going to concerts, listening to headphones, and going to very loud bars.
- a major turning point for me was to get back to travel. So far i did some solo roadtrips to neighbouring countries. If i drive for longer than 20-30 mins, i put in filtered earplugs and take breaks regularly.
- I have been to some bars in summer, sometimes with earplugs, but i prefer open air gatherings, bbq's etc.
- sports and nutrition are important, for general health, sleep and improved mood.
- relaxation, red wine, spa/sauna and good food!
Anyways, i still have the feeling i am recovering physically and mentally from a very dark period. I feel i would need another year to get on top of things, but it's good to feel improvements, although i had quite some setbacks in the beginning 3-6 months, in terms of spikes and volume changes.
Everyone is different so this is just where i am at right now, i am still hopeful of my T reducing somewhat in volume and the remnants of my H dissappearing over time, so i am very very careful with my ears.

 

[glynis]

@Sebastians ,
Fantastic news to hear and made my day.
Hope you carry on to improve and have a lovely 2017 ahead for you.
Life does go on and a great positive post from how you were to now....lots of love glynis

 

[Sebastians]

@Sebastians ,
Fantastic news to hear and made my day.
Hope you carry on to improve and have a lovely 2017 ahead for you.
Life does go on and a great positive post from how you were to now....lots of love glynis

Thanks Glynis! Much appreciated!