Hi there,
after almost one year lurking, I just wanted to register and introduce myself. I am a 36 year old male, from Spain, with a worrisome and anxious-prone personality (english is not my mother tongue, sorry for that). I've been fighting against anxiety, OCD and depression my whole life, well, since I was 10, when I got my first panic attack while the other guys were playing football in the street. Good start.
Years passed by, and started taking a variety of medications: paroxetine, sertraline, triciclics, and occassionally some benzos, apart from tons of ibuprofen and other painkillers (yes, migraine is my friend too). Despite everything, I consider myself a person with a good physical health, the problem is in the brain.
Well, after going to a psychiatrist who gave me a ton of AD's and some CBT, I was finally able to get rid of the OCD, I can say that sometimes is as intrusive as tinnitus but at least you have some control and, in contrast, it's curable, I got over it after 3 years of treatment and don't consider myself a OCD sufferer anymore, although some rituals remain but are not bothersome.
So, with this history, I managed to be happy for few years, got a job, almost a girlfriend and after a stressful period related mostly to work, and probably a bad-healed cold, got tinnitus in May 2013. I've been through rough times, but this is far beyond anything, is just terrible and hellish. My first 6 months were the worst since today and was put on AD's again and clonazepam. In the meantime, my tinnitus, who has been a reactive and changing one since the beginning, has tortured me relentlessly. Maybe I'm exagerating a little, because after that period of time started with what I call a cyclic tinnitus. Mine is as follows: one day I have a hissing sound, and the other a high pitched electric whining, both are annoying. But then there's the volume cycles, I can go up to 2 days with a low volume that is easily masked by everyday sounds and then the loud one, reactive, I can hear it over almost everything. Needless to say that these loud tinnitus makes me very depressed and angry, and it's a big barrier for habituation, if this thing will ever come to me.
For the last months I've been withdrawing from clonazepam. I quit zoloft quite easily, but this beast is tough. My tinnitus has increased a bit during the last weeks, and I want to believe that this is due to the withdrawal (it also comes with anxiety and insomnia, so most probably are withdrawal symptoms). Don't know how long will it take to be back to the good old 2-good-days-1-bad-day routine I had months before, and don't want to panic, but it's really dificult not to anticipate. I'm pessimistic and, since I'm living abroad, alone, in a demanding work, this are much harder for me.
About myself, I work as postdoc researcher in biomedical engineering, but in a field totally unrelated to tinnitus, so my knowledge about it is more or less the same as the average person. Despite having some background knowledge about cell biology, it's still difficult for me to understand what's going on on the brain of a sufferer. I'm an avid follower of the research news subforum and I really hope that AUT00063 will help us in the near future.
So, this is me, life is difficult but sometimes is simply unbearable, and since I am a pessimistic person the day-to-day is difficult.
Thanks.
after almost one year lurking, I just wanted to register and introduce myself. I am a 36 year old male, from Spain, with a worrisome and anxious-prone personality (english is not my mother tongue, sorry for that). I've been fighting against anxiety, OCD and depression my whole life, well, since I was 10, when I got my first panic attack while the other guys were playing football in the street. Good start.
Years passed by, and started taking a variety of medications: paroxetine, sertraline, triciclics, and occassionally some benzos, apart from tons of ibuprofen and other painkillers (yes, migraine is my friend too). Despite everything, I consider myself a person with a good physical health, the problem is in the brain.
Well, after going to a psychiatrist who gave me a ton of AD's and some CBT, I was finally able to get rid of the OCD, I can say that sometimes is as intrusive as tinnitus but at least you have some control and, in contrast, it's curable, I got over it after 3 years of treatment and don't consider myself a OCD sufferer anymore, although some rituals remain but are not bothersome.
So, with this history, I managed to be happy for few years, got a job, almost a girlfriend and after a stressful period related mostly to work, and probably a bad-healed cold, got tinnitus in May 2013. I've been through rough times, but this is far beyond anything, is just terrible and hellish. My first 6 months were the worst since today and was put on AD's again and clonazepam. In the meantime, my tinnitus, who has been a reactive and changing one since the beginning, has tortured me relentlessly. Maybe I'm exagerating a little, because after that period of time started with what I call a cyclic tinnitus. Mine is as follows: one day I have a hissing sound, and the other a high pitched electric whining, both are annoying. But then there's the volume cycles, I can go up to 2 days with a low volume that is easily masked by everyday sounds and then the loud one, reactive, I can hear it over almost everything. Needless to say that these loud tinnitus makes me very depressed and angry, and it's a big barrier for habituation, if this thing will ever come to me.
For the last months I've been withdrawing from clonazepam. I quit zoloft quite easily, but this beast is tough. My tinnitus has increased a bit during the last weeks, and I want to believe that this is due to the withdrawal (it also comes with anxiety and insomnia, so most probably are withdrawal symptoms). Don't know how long will it take to be back to the good old 2-good-days-1-bad-day routine I had months before, and don't want to panic, but it's really dificult not to anticipate. I'm pessimistic and, since I'm living abroad, alone, in a demanding work, this are much harder for me.
About myself, I work as postdoc researcher in biomedical engineering, but in a field totally unrelated to tinnitus, so my knowledge about it is more or less the same as the average person. Despite having some background knowledge about cell biology, it's still difficult for me to understand what's going on on the brain of a sufferer. I'm an avid follower of the research news subforum and I really hope that AUT00063 will help us in the near future.
So, this is me, life is difficult but sometimes is simply unbearable, and since I am a pessimistic person the day-to-day is difficult.
Thanks.
Member
