New to "T"

[MichaelDC]

My T just started about three weeks ago and I have been going out of my mind with fear and anxiety every minute since.

I have no idea where this came from. I've never listened to much loud music, I don't spend much time around loud environments (I work in a quiet office) and I haven't had any loud events that would trigger this. I met with an ENT who tested my hearing and found out I have some mild to nearly moderate hearing loss at high frequencies. I guess it must just be age related, I'm 44.

Now, I'm completely coming apart with the fear that this is going to get worse. It's completely taking my life apart. I can't stand being in a quiet room anymore which I used to really enjoy since I live alone. I have to keep earphones on at work listening to white noise so I can concentrate at all. I can't stand to go out with friends any more due to this horrific ringing in my ears and the fear I now have of any loud noises. I just want to stay in bed and try to sleep. I hate having spare time alone which used to be my favorite thing in the world.

I have been lurking on this forum for a couple of weeks now and I'm amazed at some of your stories and the support that you show each other. I'm sure if you could hear my T you'd probably think I'm a lightweight and that my suffering is nothing compared to most of you. It staggers me the degree of T of some people have managed for years, but I just don't think I can be that strong.

Is this only going to get worse for me? How can I pull myself together and live out the second half of my life with this condition? It's only 9am here, but I'm already exhausted. I think I'm going to go put my earphones on and lay down.

Any tips and advice you could give me would be more appreciated than you could imagine. I have no one else in my life who even really understands T at all, even though they try. I'm completely alone in this community; there aren't any support groups that I can find. This forum is all I can find and I'm so grateful to have found it.

Thank you-
Michael

 

[Karen]

Hi, Michael, and welcome!

I'm sorry you've joined our ranks, but glad you've found us, as we are a supportive group and a great resource to tinnitus sufferers everywhere.

No, I don't think your tinnitus will keep getting worse. It's good that you have been to a doctor, and that you've had your hearing tested. The tinnitus may very well be related to your hearing loss, so now you can protect your ears from any further damage.

As you have read on this site, most of us learn to cope with our tinnitus. As time goes by, your brain and body become more accustomed to the sound, and it is easier to cope. Right now, the best things you can do are to get enough sleep, stay calm, and perhaps use masking sounds in the background so that you don't come into complete silence when you are at home. If you feel you need help coping, sometimes an anti-anxiety drug may help. As for me, I opted not to take any prescription drugs when mine was at its worst. Instead, I used natural supplements, such as holy basil, magnesium chloride, and pharma GABA, to get myself over the rough spots. I am currently taking a supplement called NAC, which protects your ears from further damage, and may actually calm your tinnitus a little bit. It is available at health food stores and online.

The main thing is to stay calm, find ways to distract your mind, and keep busy. In time, you'll notice that things will begin to improve, as you become more accustomed to the sound.

I'm sure other people will have additional suggestions for you. You can count on us for support and understanding as you go through this.

Best wishes and hugs,
Karen

 

[Phil-O]

Hi @MichaelDC
I am relatively new to T, so can't advise you too much, but know exactly how you feel. There are many wise experienced people on here who definitely will be a help. In the meantime check out the success stories, they certainly helped me, also https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172
Regards Phil

 

[Lorac]

Hello Michael,
I have been dealing with this for a couple of years. I remember feeling very scared in those early months. I slept a lot at first because the noise only stopped when I slept and because I found life exhausting. I read books to keep my mind occupied. Tinnitus is annoying, painful and life altering but so are many other injuries and illnesses. I was very scared early on but I realized that sound is not lethal and tinnitus cannot kill me.

 

[billie48]

It staggers me the degree of T of some people have managed for years, but I just don't think I can be that strong.

Is this only going to get worse for me? How can I pull myself together and live out the second half of my life with this condition?

Welcome to TT. Karen and others have given you excellent advice. I can only add my experience to help you. I quote your above sentences because that was how I thought about my T future too (if there was even a future for me a few years back). Besides my ultra hight pitch dog whistle T, I also had severe hyperacusis which turned all normal sounds piercingly hurtful that I simply had to wear ear plugs all the time. But the plugs stopped all outside masking sounds, making the T shrill so unbearably dominant. I had no escape from T & H. If I did things to please one, the other would kill me. Also I wasn't mentally strong at all. I was suffering from anxiety and panic disorder for decades prior to T & H. So these two new aliens just opened the flood gate of hell of relentless anxiety and panic attacks the minute I woke up with my T screaming. I had to deal with all these horrible symptoms and my mind was overwhelmed. I never thought I could survive these and like you every thought about the future would send a chill through my spine, sweating and panicking.

I made the mistake of projecting a future based on my worst suffering period of my T life, and I paid dearly with immense mental sufferings. I never thought good life would come back or that I could survive the ordeal. But never say never. Today I live a normal and absolutely enjoyable life. Time plus some some strategies have helped me turned around. I wrote my success story like others did. T is not and end game. Many members have it worst than me and got better. You can too. Believe it and don't panic. Try read up as many success stories as you can. If you are interested to read mine, here is the link and I include also a few others:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

The most read success story 'Back to Silence' with a simple effective strategy:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/


Jade's success story with super loud T and got better after learning 70% of her colleague have T but don't suffer:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/6-months-tinnitus-still-going-strong-but-so-am-i.3226/

Dr. Hubbard's success story (T from a doctor's perspective):
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/how-cbt-helped-me-live-again-dr-hubbards-story.4608/

 

[MichaelDC]

Thanks to all of you for your responses and kindness. I am really going through a struggling period right now. The weekends are the worst, all I want to do is sleep. I feel completely wrought out and exhausted. I don't know what I would do without this forum and your advice and encouragement.

I will trust in your experiences and just believe it can and will get better. Right now, I just can't imagine ever regaining anything that resembles and normal life at this point.

I will give it my all. Thank you so much!

 

[billie48]

Hope you will do better, if slowly. Don't rush your T and be anxious about T. Let the body heal. But at certain point, you need to get out of bed and start to battle back to reclaim your life. I talked about this in my success story, that at a certain point I simply dared my T & H to pull out of bed, tiredness and shaken or not, and try to reclaim my life, one day at a time. T is a sound, a phantom sound. It is our reaction to this sound that causes the major part of the suffering. So we need to learn to moderate our reaction to T. One way to do that is to realize that you are not alone. T is very common, affecting millions and millions. Even celebrities have T. In fact, in the following video clip, David Letterman & William Shatner (Capt Kirk of Star Trek) were talking about their T. Of course they are in better days and were doing a comedian show. I had a big laugh hearing Letterman saying that his 2-tone T is like the Emergency Broadcast System on test mode 7/24. This video didn't heal my T, but I viewed it positively knowing that people with severe T can move on with life after some time. And that is what I am trying to do. I hope you will learn to relax and remain positive about your situation.