Hi everyone,
I've been lurking here for a couple weeks and finally decided to make an account, because I'm in such a dark place and I don't know how to manage.
First, I'd like to give a history of my tinnitus:
A little over two years ago, I was forced to ride in the way back of a car (no seats, but not exactly shut in a trunk). I was right on top of a speaker for about a one hour ride. The bass from the speaker was especially loud, but at the time I was not aware of the damage noise could do. My ear started hurting near the end of the ride, and I asked for the volume to be turned down, but it was too late. I had ear pain for days and then after a few weeks I started hearing my heartbeat in my right ear. No ringing, just a loud pulsing that seemed to get worse depending on my noise exposure throughout the day. I also developed hyperacusis. It took several months to calm down. I quit using in-ear headphones, bought noise canceling headphones which I used at an extremely low volume, and bought custom musician's earplugs which I wore at clubs and concerts (attended maybe once every two months). I occasionally heard a thump in my right ear from time to time, but over around the next two years I was fine.
Fast forward to about 5 weeks ago. I needed to clean some grimy patio furniture and purchased a pressure washer to do so. While I was using it, I thought it was kind of loud and should probably use ear plugs, but I didn't have them on me and my ears had been fine for two years, so I figured it would be fine. I was dead wrong. I woke up the next morning and was hearing static in my ear, which I attributed to some electrical wiring in my residence. It took me a few days to realize it was coming from my right ear, and it gradually increased in volume. I also started hearing a faint, high-pitched ringing in my right ear that would be amplified by certain noises such as fans, running water, and certain parts of songs. I have now learned that some of you call this reactive tinnitus or dysacusis. Also, I noticed the high-pitched tone would sometimes be in sync with my heartbeat, especially when it is elevated. These noises started scaring the hell out of me as they did not go away, and I grew more aware of them.
17 days after the pressure washer, I saw my ENT. No detectable hearing loss on the standard frequencies and my pressure was fine. He said he hoped it would improve slowly over time.
About two days after the ENT a 116 dB alarm went off right next to my ear. I turned it off immediately, but was exposed for maybe 1-2 seconds and felt my tinnitus spike slightly. My anxiety was through the roof following that alarm.
About four days after the alarm I started developing dizziness and poor balance. It was never full-fledged vertigo; I just felt like I was on a boat constantly. My balance still feels slightly off, but it has improved in the past few days. I have a balance (VNG?) test scheduled for this coming Thursday.
About 7 days after the alarm, I started feeling really hopeful about my tinnitus. I would wake up in the mornings with almost pure silence. It would get worse by bedtime but would be so much better in the morning. Then I was experiencing a night which felt like pure silence, and it was the happiest I had been in a month. Of course, with my luck, my phone fell out of my lap onto my acoustic guitar right next to me on the floor (I was stupid not to secure it properly). It smacked hard against the strings and the wood of the guitar, letting out this cacophonous noise which instantly caused a high-pitched spike in my right ear.
I am now at 9 days since the guitar incident, and my tinnitus feels louder than it has ever been over the past 5 weeks. I was hoping I would get back to pre-guitar levels, but that does not seem to be happening. Thankfully, I don't hear it with the TV on (unless certain frequencies react with my dysacusis), and I don't hear it outside.
Considering it has been 5 weeks since the onset of my symptoms, I am starting to lose hope. I've always struggled with depression, and this year has been one of the worst years of my life. I had some rough things happen pre-COVID-19, and COVID-19 just made my mental state so much worse. Now that I'm adding my tinnitus onto all of this, life doesn't seem to be worth living anymore. I can't enjoy my two favorite hobbies - music (which now sounds distorted) and competitive video games such as Valorant which require headphones for directional sound. I'm doing everything I can to reduce loud noise exposure but nothing seems to improve.
I have a therapist and psychiatrist. I just got a Klonopin prescription which is at least calming me down. However, I can't help but thinking that if this tinnitus doesn't improve in the next month or two, I'm going to end my own life. I've already had a hard enough time, and this is just too much now.
If you want a summary of all my symptoms:
Two tones in right ear. One static/white noise, another high-pitched and resonates with certain external frequencies. High-pitched noise sometimes syncs with my pulse. I hear the thump of my heartbeat in my ear maybe 1-2 times a day.
Currently have pain in my left ear that seems to be reacting to the noise of typing this up. I hope I'm not developing hyperacusis again. It rings briefly on some days, but I'm not too concerned about it compared to my right ear.
I get the sensation of fluid dripping in my ears multiple times a day, but my ENT found nothing.
Balance issues which have seemed to improve slightly.
I've also noticed considerably more floaters in my left eye. I know there can be a connection between tinnitus and vision, but maybe I'm just being a hypochondriac.
I guess I'm just looking for advice or comforting words, something to make me feel like my life is still worth living.
I've been lurking here for a couple weeks and finally decided to make an account, because I'm in such a dark place and I don't know how to manage.
First, I'd like to give a history of my tinnitus:
A little over two years ago, I was forced to ride in the way back of a car (no seats, but not exactly shut in a trunk). I was right on top of a speaker for about a one hour ride. The bass from the speaker was especially loud, but at the time I was not aware of the damage noise could do. My ear started hurting near the end of the ride, and I asked for the volume to be turned down, but it was too late. I had ear pain for days and then after a few weeks I started hearing my heartbeat in my right ear. No ringing, just a loud pulsing that seemed to get worse depending on my noise exposure throughout the day. I also developed hyperacusis. It took several months to calm down. I quit using in-ear headphones, bought noise canceling headphones which I used at an extremely low volume, and bought custom musician's earplugs which I wore at clubs and concerts (attended maybe once every two months). I occasionally heard a thump in my right ear from time to time, but over around the next two years I was fine.
Fast forward to about 5 weeks ago. I needed to clean some grimy patio furniture and purchased a pressure washer to do so. While I was using it, I thought it was kind of loud and should probably use ear plugs, but I didn't have them on me and my ears had been fine for two years, so I figured it would be fine. I was dead wrong. I woke up the next morning and was hearing static in my ear, which I attributed to some electrical wiring in my residence. It took me a few days to realize it was coming from my right ear, and it gradually increased in volume. I also started hearing a faint, high-pitched ringing in my right ear that would be amplified by certain noises such as fans, running water, and certain parts of songs. I have now learned that some of you call this reactive tinnitus or dysacusis. Also, I noticed the high-pitched tone would sometimes be in sync with my heartbeat, especially when it is elevated. These noises started scaring the hell out of me as they did not go away, and I grew more aware of them.
17 days after the pressure washer, I saw my ENT. No detectable hearing loss on the standard frequencies and my pressure was fine. He said he hoped it would improve slowly over time.
About two days after the ENT a 116 dB alarm went off right next to my ear. I turned it off immediately, but was exposed for maybe 1-2 seconds and felt my tinnitus spike slightly. My anxiety was through the roof following that alarm.
About four days after the alarm I started developing dizziness and poor balance. It was never full-fledged vertigo; I just felt like I was on a boat constantly. My balance still feels slightly off, but it has improved in the past few days. I have a balance (VNG?) test scheduled for this coming Thursday.
About 7 days after the alarm, I started feeling really hopeful about my tinnitus. I would wake up in the mornings with almost pure silence. It would get worse by bedtime but would be so much better in the morning. Then I was experiencing a night which felt like pure silence, and it was the happiest I had been in a month. Of course, with my luck, my phone fell out of my lap onto my acoustic guitar right next to me on the floor (I was stupid not to secure it properly). It smacked hard against the strings and the wood of the guitar, letting out this cacophonous noise which instantly caused a high-pitched spike in my right ear.
I am now at 9 days since the guitar incident, and my tinnitus feels louder than it has ever been over the past 5 weeks. I was hoping I would get back to pre-guitar levels, but that does not seem to be happening. Thankfully, I don't hear it with the TV on (unless certain frequencies react with my dysacusis), and I don't hear it outside.
Considering it has been 5 weeks since the onset of my symptoms, I am starting to lose hope. I've always struggled with depression, and this year has been one of the worst years of my life. I had some rough things happen pre-COVID-19, and COVID-19 just made my mental state so much worse. Now that I'm adding my tinnitus onto all of this, life doesn't seem to be worth living anymore. I can't enjoy my two favorite hobbies - music (which now sounds distorted) and competitive video games such as Valorant which require headphones for directional sound. I'm doing everything I can to reduce loud noise exposure but nothing seems to improve.
I have a therapist and psychiatrist. I just got a Klonopin prescription which is at least calming me down. However, I can't help but thinking that if this tinnitus doesn't improve in the next month or two, I'm going to end my own life. I've already had a hard enough time, and this is just too much now.
If you want a summary of all my symptoms:
Two tones in right ear. One static/white noise, another high-pitched and resonates with certain external frequencies. High-pitched noise sometimes syncs with my pulse. I hear the thump of my heartbeat in my ear maybe 1-2 times a day.
Currently have pain in my left ear that seems to be reacting to the noise of typing this up. I hope I'm not developing hyperacusis again. It rings briefly on some days, but I'm not too concerned about it compared to my right ear.
I get the sensation of fluid dripping in my ears multiple times a day, but my ENT found nothing.
Balance issues which have seemed to improve slightly.
I've also noticed considerably more floaters in my left eye. I know there can be a connection between tinnitus and vision, but maybe I'm just being a hypochondriac.
I guess I'm just looking for advice or comforting words, something to make me feel like my life is still worth living.