- Aug 20, 2016
- 11
- Tinnitus Since
- July 2016
- Cause of Tinnitus
- nightclub? stress? sinus issues?
Hi everyone.
(sorry for the long post)
I have been meaning to write this story, but I decided to wait until my one year tinnitus 'anniversary'.
A year ago I went to a concert/nightclub with some friends and woke up with ringing in one of my ears. I panicked and searched the internet for some 'comfort' - something I didn't find. I read with tears in my eyes how there is 'no cure'.
My friends didn't take this seriously and told me that this surely 'would go away in a few days'.
It didn't. In fact, it got worse. The tone kept changing, and the other ear starting ringing as well. I think I may have also developed some sort of sensitivity to sound as any type of sound felt very painful, and it was as if I was in an airplane constantly (muffled hearing and pressure).
I spend a lot of money on all types of 'online cures' and 'miracle pills' and spent my days searching the internet for recovery statistics and tinnitus stories.
I have always had a lot of anxiety, something that was of course made a lot worse by this situation. Most days I would refuse to get out of bad (since I had 'ruined my life' anyways), and my time would be spent either crying my eyes out or screaming/hitting the wall in anger/desperation. I had also 'decided' that, if this did not go away - I would not want to live anymore.
Months went by and some days would be better (not necessarily the tinnitus itself but my mood - sometimes it's hard to separate the two), and some days would be a lot worse. The tinnitus also changed a lot in these past few months which in my opinion made it much worse to deal with. The changing tones made it impossible 'to get used to tinnitus' in my opinion. Some days it would be screaming in one ear, some days hissing and often I would wake up with 'wind noises' in my ear.
In October last year I started graduate school at the University of Oxford. I was prepared to drop out but determined to give it a try. The first month was difficult, people were loud and the british pubs even louder - I found myself avoiding social situations because of this or using earplugs which made it hard to hear (while covering my ears with my hair because I was still very much embarrassed by this). One of the people I confided in even said to me 'Tinnitus - isn't that what people kill themselves over'... something that made it even worse.
A few weeks after my course started something even worse than the tinnitus started (IMO). I started hearing an echo after every word I said (it was as if the tinnitus would echo a beep after I said something). My depression/anxiety got very bad at this point and I was prescribed benzos.
I live near London and booked an appointment with the Tinnitus Clinic, out of desperation.
This actually changed everything for me. (and no I don't believe that going there yourself will make a difference for you necessarily, rather the lesson I learnt is what might).
I sat in the waiting room with the echo and beeping present, I almost wanted to leave since I was worried they would tell me that they could not help me and that it would not go away (which in my case would have been devastating since I regarded them as my last hope).
The appointment took about an hour and although they of course did not offer any 'miracle cure' - it offered insight.
The doctor said (among other things) that the research is unclear but in his opinion (and from his research) it seems as though a few things need to be present for Tinnitus to happen (1. some sort of hearing trauma 2. anxiety/stress 3. some problems with a mechanism in the brain which is responsible for neutralizing sounds).
He believed that anxiety and the reaction to it makes it worse (not just the experience but the actual tinnitus sound), which also means that it can make it better. He stated that this is his personal belief based on his own trials and research, but confirmed that this is not technically 'proven yet' because of the difficulty in conducting medical trials.
The interesting thing was that his words did calm me down, and the next morning the 'echo' was no longer present (the tinnitus still was).
Stunned by this I began to wonder if there was something to this.
I have a few friends who are neuroscience researchers and I started talking to them about the impact of stress/anxiety on the brain and whether they thought that it could have an impact. They seemed to believe that it can. Over the next few months I noticed how really stressful events made it a lot worse (e.g. one morning I woke up and it was so loud that I could barely hear - this was right before a big exam). This to me has 'proven' that anxiety will change it. It has now been one year and I can definitely say that it has gotten soooo much better. (The tinnitus and my reaction to it).
It is still there somewhat, and does act up sometimes but I can barely hear it (even in a quiet room) unless I plug my ears. The main change took place after 6 months (I believe that this was due to a change in my reaction to it). I understand that some Tinnitus cases do resolve spontaneously, and that perhaps this had nothing to do with anxiety - However, I do not believe that these things were coincidences (eg. me waking up without the echo the day after, it getting worse when I am stressed etc)
I am not sure that it will every go away completely, however this doesn't matter to me anymore. I can barely hear it and it has actually improved my quality of life. I am now stronger as a person and I am more aware of my stress/anxiety. I used to think that this could in no way be made worse by stress/anxiety since I simply wasn't that stressed - this had to do with me not being 'aware' of my own anxiety I believe.
I don't want to come off like someone with a miracle solution, I simply want to share my experience - since reading success stories really helped me get better.
Please feel free to ask me or reach out if you have any questions. I wish you all the best
(sorry for the long post)
I have been meaning to write this story, but I decided to wait until my one year tinnitus 'anniversary'.
A year ago I went to a concert/nightclub with some friends and woke up with ringing in one of my ears. I panicked and searched the internet for some 'comfort' - something I didn't find. I read with tears in my eyes how there is 'no cure'.
My friends didn't take this seriously and told me that this surely 'would go away in a few days'.
It didn't. In fact, it got worse. The tone kept changing, and the other ear starting ringing as well. I think I may have also developed some sort of sensitivity to sound as any type of sound felt very painful, and it was as if I was in an airplane constantly (muffled hearing and pressure).
I spend a lot of money on all types of 'online cures' and 'miracle pills' and spent my days searching the internet for recovery statistics and tinnitus stories.
I have always had a lot of anxiety, something that was of course made a lot worse by this situation. Most days I would refuse to get out of bad (since I had 'ruined my life' anyways), and my time would be spent either crying my eyes out or screaming/hitting the wall in anger/desperation. I had also 'decided' that, if this did not go away - I would not want to live anymore.
Months went by and some days would be better (not necessarily the tinnitus itself but my mood - sometimes it's hard to separate the two), and some days would be a lot worse. The tinnitus also changed a lot in these past few months which in my opinion made it much worse to deal with. The changing tones made it impossible 'to get used to tinnitus' in my opinion. Some days it would be screaming in one ear, some days hissing and often I would wake up with 'wind noises' in my ear.
In October last year I started graduate school at the University of Oxford. I was prepared to drop out but determined to give it a try. The first month was difficult, people were loud and the british pubs even louder - I found myself avoiding social situations because of this or using earplugs which made it hard to hear (while covering my ears with my hair because I was still very much embarrassed by this). One of the people I confided in even said to me 'Tinnitus - isn't that what people kill themselves over'... something that made it even worse.
A few weeks after my course started something even worse than the tinnitus started (IMO). I started hearing an echo after every word I said (it was as if the tinnitus would echo a beep after I said something). My depression/anxiety got very bad at this point and I was prescribed benzos.
I live near London and booked an appointment with the Tinnitus Clinic, out of desperation.
This actually changed everything for me. (and no I don't believe that going there yourself will make a difference for you necessarily, rather the lesson I learnt is what might).
I sat in the waiting room with the echo and beeping present, I almost wanted to leave since I was worried they would tell me that they could not help me and that it would not go away (which in my case would have been devastating since I regarded them as my last hope).
The appointment took about an hour and although they of course did not offer any 'miracle cure' - it offered insight.
The doctor said (among other things) that the research is unclear but in his opinion (and from his research) it seems as though a few things need to be present for Tinnitus to happen (1. some sort of hearing trauma 2. anxiety/stress 3. some problems with a mechanism in the brain which is responsible for neutralizing sounds).
He believed that anxiety and the reaction to it makes it worse (not just the experience but the actual tinnitus sound), which also means that it can make it better. He stated that this is his personal belief based on his own trials and research, but confirmed that this is not technically 'proven yet' because of the difficulty in conducting medical trials.
The interesting thing was that his words did calm me down, and the next morning the 'echo' was no longer present (the tinnitus still was).
Stunned by this I began to wonder if there was something to this.
I have a few friends who are neuroscience researchers and I started talking to them about the impact of stress/anxiety on the brain and whether they thought that it could have an impact. They seemed to believe that it can. Over the next few months I noticed how really stressful events made it a lot worse (e.g. one morning I woke up and it was so loud that I could barely hear - this was right before a big exam). This to me has 'proven' that anxiety will change it. It has now been one year and I can definitely say that it has gotten soooo much better. (The tinnitus and my reaction to it).
It is still there somewhat, and does act up sometimes but I can barely hear it (even in a quiet room) unless I plug my ears. The main change took place after 6 months (I believe that this was due to a change in my reaction to it). I understand that some Tinnitus cases do resolve spontaneously, and that perhaps this had nothing to do with anxiety - However, I do not believe that these things were coincidences (eg. me waking up without the echo the day after, it getting worse when I am stressed etc)
I am not sure that it will every go away completely, however this doesn't matter to me anymore. I can barely hear it and it has actually improved my quality of life. I am now stronger as a person and I am more aware of my stress/anxiety. I used to think that this could in no way be made worse by stress/anxiety since I simply wasn't that stressed - this had to do with me not being 'aware' of my own anxiety I believe.
I don't want to come off like someone with a miracle solution, I simply want to share my experience - since reading success stories really helped me get better.
Please feel free to ask me or reach out if you have any questions. I wish you all the best
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