Please Help Me — I Don't Know If I Can Continue Living with Tinnitus Anymore

[Paulmanlike]

This year I have seen an increase in my tinnitus and I don't know if I can continue living with it anymore. I have already had a long stay in hospital but of course that didn't fix anything.

I'm so unhappy, I have no enjoyment in my life anymore with this. I am constantly obsessed with the noise and its irritating effects.

I have trialled a masker but it didn't help, just one irritating noise over the other. I have been to see mental health professionals who seem to focus on depression - however it's the tinnitus solely that is causing it.

I feel suicidal. Sorry for the negativity.

 

[glynis]

Have a chat with your doctor on how you are feeling.
Amitriptyline or Nortriptyline can help reduce tinnitus for some people .
Cinnarizine 15mg can help reduce tinnitus for some people used for Menieres.
I would try your masker again and make sure you set it below your tinnitus so your brain will try to push hard to focus on the lower sound and build up your brains natural filter to ignore your tinnitus over time.
If you find yourself suicidal then go to a safe place like AnE or ring MentalHealth again
Love glynis

 

[Michael Leigh]

This year I have seen an increase in my tinnitus and I don't know if I can continue living with it anymore. I have already had a long stay in hospital but of course that didn't fix anything. I'm so unhappy, I have no enjoyment in my life anymore with this. I am constantly obsessed with the noise and its irritating effects. I have trialled a masker but it didn't help, just one irritating noise over the other. I have been to see mental health professionals who seem to focus on depression - however it's the tinnitus solely that is causing it.
I feel suicidal. Sorry for the negativity.

HI @Paulmanlike

There is no need to feel sorry for the negative post although I understand your reasons. When tinnitus is severe and this level is sustained it can be debilitating and affect a person the way you are feeling at the moment. I believe you are living in the UK? If possible, have a word with your GP and see if you can get a referral to ENT/Audiology to see a Hearing Therapist for help with your tinnitus and hopefully counselling will be offered.

Although you found the white noise generators irritating, this can happen at first. If you weren't having "counselling" talk therapy with a Hearing Therapist, this form of treatment might not always work. The counselling helps to remove and demystify the "negative" thinking that is often associated with tinnitus when it is severe. However, try wearing it again and set the level below your tinnitus and just wear it for 1hr or 2. Then remove it for the same time. Insert them again and slowly build up the wearing time until you can wear it for 6hrs. Take your time.

It's hard to be positive when tinnitus is intrusive so try going out for a walk just to get out in the fresh air for 30mins or so. Play low level relaxing music or nature sounds. Switch the TV on even if you're unable to concentrate at least there's something to help take your focus away from the tinnitus, rather than being in a quiet room.

It is likely that your tinnitus was caused by noise exposure as I read your first post. I suggest not using headphones even at low volume. Positivity is important and I can't stress that enough. Please read my post: Positivity and tinnitus by clicking on the link below. If you are able to print it I suggest that you do and read it often. Please read my post: Is positivity important: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/is-positivity-important.23150/

All the best
Michael
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/positivity-and-tinnitus.12060/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/

 

[glynis]

@Paulmanlike ,
We are here around the clock so your never alone.
Also Mental Health have a crisis team and can visit you at home.
They have a number to call as I'm sure your aware of.
We all know what your going through and just what mental torture tinnitus can be and the unwanted emotions.
Love glynis x

 

[Vicki14]

have a word with your GP and see if you can get a referral to ENT/Audiology to see a Hearing Therapist for help with your tinnitus and hopefully counselling will be offered.

@Michael Leigh i understand Paul's frustration and despair, waking up to this every morning is soul destroying, especially when it doesn't seem to be improving.

I've been on a waiting list to speak to a counsellor for over 6 months, went to my doc yesterday to chase it up but was advised that the waiting list is over 12 months as they only have 1 part time counsellor, no good when you're in a desperate place.

It's the restrictions that t places on us and makes daily life difficult to navigate due to fear of worsening symptoms.

Feel your pain Paul, hold on as hopefully we will see better days ahead! Xx

 

[Michael Leigh]

@Michael Leigh i understand Paul's frustration and despair, waking up to this every morning is soul destroying, especially when it doesn't seem to be improving.I've been on a waiting list to speak to a counsellor for over 6 months, went to my doc yesterday to chase it up but was advised that the waiting list is over 12 months as they only have 1 part time counsellor, no good when you're in a desperate place.It's the restrictions that t places on us and makes daily life difficult to navigate due to fear of worsening symptoms. Feel your pain Paul, hold on as hopefully we will see better days ahead! Xx

I understand where you are coming from @Vicki14 regarding the way that you feel and the waiting time to see a counsellor. Ideally, this should be a Hearing Therapist as they will understand tinnitus better. However, seeing professional therapist that is willing to listen can be beneficial. Sometimes we have to try and help ourselves when our choices are limited and there's a few things I suggest.

Read my post: Is positivity important: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/is-positivity-important.23150/
I believe it is the most important thing in coping with tinnitus and to acquire it one needs to surround themselves with positive things they like doing. It isn't always easy but it's possible by taking small steps. Read my positivity posts and the success stories in this forum by other members. This reinforces positivity and helps to eliminate negativity. Even if you were to see a counsellor or Hearing Therapist, this needs to be backed up with doing things positive in or own time, pushing ourselves when able to just that little bit further. Providing of course that one's tinnitus isn't severely intrusive all of the time. We have to try that little bit harder it's tough, I know because it took me 4 years to habituate the second time, and I was miserable for a lot of the time but I done it and I'm still here.

All the best
Michael

 

[maltese]

I understand where you are coming from @Vicki14 regarding the way that you feel and the waiting time to see a counsellor. Ideally, this should be a Hearing Therapist as they will understand tinnitus better. However, seeing professional therapist that is willing to listen can be beneficial. Sometimes we have to try and help ourselves when we our choices are limited and there's a few things I suggest.

I must agree with @Michael Leigh, the hearing therapist I've seen was surprisingly knowledgeable, helpful and empathetic. I was very surprised to realize that when it comes to tinnitus, NHS is so insanely better than private healthcare (well, excluding waiting time...).

 

[.bill]

Understand it very well. I just went four days with silence. Then when waking this morning the monster woke with me its depressing to say the least. Hang in there. Someone is always here

 

[Paulmanlike]

Thanks for replies, I guess I'm just having a hard time coping with it now. The constant whine seems to be getting the better of me. Just trying to find a solution and failing miserably. I must of spent 18 hours in bed yesterday feeling sorry for myself to have this condition while everybody around me just go about enjoying life. It's killing me.

 

[Marlino]

@Paulmanlike
Yes, if t is bad, its just hell on earth.
Right now I have my 5th bad day in a row.
As always no clue why. Before a week or so when I easly could cope. But right now it just pierces into my head like a drill.
No matter what I do I can always hear and feel it. It hurts, it takes my energy, my passion, my balance, my hope, my faith and my will to life.

It is unbearable. It simply is.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Yes, if t is bad, its just hell on earth.
Right now I have my 5th bad day in a row.
As always no clue why. Before a week or so when I easly could cope. But right now it just pierces into my head like a drill. No matter what I do I can always hear and feel it. It hurts, it takes my energy, my passion, my balance, my hope, my faith and my will to life.

It is unbearable. It simply is.

Sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time @Marlino If I remember correctly, you were prescribed clonazepam? If helps me when my tinnitus reaches severe levels, perhaps try taking some?
Michael

 

[Marlino]

@Michael Leigh
Dear Michael.

Didnt get any benzos yet. So I never tried them. I tapered off Pregabalin, maybe this is a reason for this bad attack. But more likely its just the way it is, since I experienced the extreme levels before many times. This time is particular tough though.

How many severe days do you still have?
From your posts I assume you had severe days very often in the beginning, but they decreased?
How long did it take to get better?

I'm still living my normal life wirh work, friends and activities. But I notice I sometimes lose to much energy in trying, pretending, hoping. I contemplate to end this life and become an unemployed hermit.
Its not what I want or what I need, but I simply have only limited energy.
Maybe from tomorrow I get again some good days in a row and I can postpone this thoughts again for a while until the next attack strikes me.

 

[Michael Leigh]

How many severe days do you still have?
From your posts I assume you had severe days very often in the beginning, but they decreased?
How long did it take to get better?

HI Marlino,

I appreciate that work is difficult for you and stressful especially when your tinnitus is intrusive. Clonazepam helped me when my tinnitus reached very severe levels back in 2010. I used to take it every other day 2x0.5 mg tablets but only when my tinnitus was severe. At first for around 3 times a week then over time tapered off. My tinnitus has improved and habituation took 4 years the second time. 2008 to 2012. My tinnitus still reaches severe levels but not the extreme intensity that would last for days. I take clonazepam occasionally now and not usually for more than 2 days.

Michael

 

[Paulmanlike]

Just got off the phone to my dad (who has tinnitus). I asked him how he copes with it and he says he only notices it when I bring it up, but now you've mentioned it I can hear it (while on the phone). How is this possible? Is that what habituation is?

 

[Bill Bauer]

How long has it been that unbearable? Have you experienced any improvement since your T became louder?

 

[Paulmanlike]

How long has it been that unbearable? Have you experienced any improvement since your T became louder?

Since March it has become like this although T since 2008.

It happened from a night out, although I did take regular breaks and left the club early it still happened.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Just got off the phone to my dad (who has tinnitus). I asked him how he copes with it and he says he only notices it when I bring it up, but now you've mentioned it I can hear it (while on the phone). How is this possible? Is that what habituation is?

Hi @Paulmanlike

It is perfectly possible for your dad to experience tinnitus the way he does and millions of other people around the world and some will be here in this forum and I'm this way to. If you read my post: Is positivity important, and my article: Tinnitus, A Personal View then you will understand.

Tinnitus comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. It can be: mild, moderate, severe or extremely severe. It can be intermittent or constant. It can be in one ear or two ears and sometimes a person experiences the noise as if it's coming from the middle of the head. Some people have variable tinnitus like me. It can be completely silent. (no tinnitus) or Mild, moderate, or severe and extremely severe.

When tinnitus is mild most people are able to go about their life without it causing any problems and they can do whatever they want. Even when it is moderate the majority of people learn to habituate and it rarely causes problems. Tinnitus becomes difficult when it is Loud and intrusive and this is what you're experiencing at the moment. Hopefully it will calm down. As I said in my previous post, have a talk with your GP and try and get a referral to ENT

All the best
Michael

 

[Marlino]

Thank you Michael, you truely know.

 

[Kolisar]

This year I have seen an increase in my tinnitus and I don't know if I can continue living with it anymore. ...

I'm so unhappy, I have no enjoyment in my life anymore with this. I am constantly obsessed with the noise and its irritating effects.

....
I have been to see mental health professionals who seem to focus on depression - however it's the tinnitus solely that is causing it.

I feel suicidal. Sorry for the negativity.

Hi @Paulmanlike, You never need to apologize for expressing you feelings here. We have been there. I, personally, have wanted (tried and failed) to end it all. You are amongst friends; friends who understand what you are going through.

Tinnitus can rip the enjoyment and pleasure out of life. But, you can learn to habituate. And, we all understand how difficult it can be to not think about it. Let's be honest, you are hearing it constantly, how can you ignore it? I know it seems impossible, but many people have learned to habituate to it, your father seems to be an example of one. You will find many other examples in this forum, especially if you visit the "success stories" section.

Coping with this is hard; but you are here. We will help you cope. As @glynis said:

We are here around the clock so your never alone.

I am constantly amazed at the generosity and compassion of the members of this forum. Total strangers spending time, thinking about the issues of others and offering their best heartfelt advice, compassion, sympathy, and empathy. You have this forum, and its amazing members, you will never have to fight this alone.

When you feel that you can longer continue living with tinnitus, come here. Post to this support section. There will be someone to respond, someone who cares, someone who will try and help. Many of us have been there; it is a scary dark place to be wanting to end your life. And I acknowledge the difference between feeling suicidal and being actively suicidal. Feeling suicidal is not a great place to be mentally.

And, let the mental health professionals focus on the depression. As cruel as it is, the depression, caused by the tinnitus, makes it harder to deal with the tinnitus and therefore deepens the depression, it is a feedback loop. A very cruel cycle. A good mental health professional can help you break that feedback loop. S/he can help you break free from that cycle, and help you regain the strength you need to cope with the tinnitus. And, until then, turn to us for strength. Despite the fact that almost all of the members here (there are a few who are here because loved ones suffer from tinnitus) suffer from tinnitus, and yet despite their own struggles and their own suffering, are willing to share what strength they have to help others.

I apologize if I am focusing too much on the suicidal aspect, but recently a very dear friend of mine (whom I have mentioned in many of my posts) learned that a friend of her's committed suicide, and I have been there myself.

Please call the crisis number @glynis mentioned and read the articles @Michael Leigh listed. Hang in there, it will get better; either through lessening of the symptoms, or by learning to habituate.

Don't give up, you will get through this.

Please keep us posted on your progress, and remember, we are and will be here for you.

 

[Paulmanlike]

Thank you all so much for your support, I truely wouldn't know where else to turn too if it wasn't for you guys and girls.

It's nice to know I have somewhere to come when I'm feeling rock bottom. I have been depressed since March; but seeing the support of others makes me think a little more positive.

That being said; I cannot wait for the day I wake up and I am no longer bothered by tinnitus and have accepted it as a part of life rather than something that knocks me down everyday.

Thank you all so much kindly; you are wonderful people.

 

[Sean]

Since March it has become like this although T since 2008.

It happened from a night out, although I did take regular breaks and left the club early it still happened.

@Paulmanlike , I had crazy spike you had after a night out . It was pure HELL!!
I thought that's my new life and that's how life is going to be but after 3-4 months it went away and my T returned to base line .
That's why I tell every one that once you have T ..you can't go to loud events . There were other people with similar experience . Please try to be patient , it will go away or you will be able to handle it lot better .

 

[Sean]

Thank you all so much for your support, I truely wouldn't know where else to turn too if it wasn't for you guys and girls.

It's nice to know I have somewhere to come when I'm feeling rock bottom. I have been depressed since March; but seeing the support of others makes me think a little more positive.

That being said; I cannot wait for the day I wake up and I am no longer bothered by tinnitus and have accepted it as a part of life rather than something that knocks me down everyday.

Thank you all so much kindly; you are wonderful people.

@Paulmanlike , when ever T subsides, would you please post it here ? Other people who are in your situation at that time will get relief when they hear from you at that point .

 

[Paulmanlike]

@Paulmanlike , when ever T subsides, would you please post it here ? Other people who are in your situation at that time will get relief when they hear from you at that point .

I will do Sean if it ever subsides to baseline, it was the middle of March it came

 

[Marlino]

I don't know if it cheers somebody up, but today it's better again for me. From intrusive back to modearate (which I can live with).

If it stayed like that I could easily write a success story and never come back here.

Until soon...

 

[Kolisar]

I don't know if it cheers somebody up, but today it's better again for me. From intrusive back to modearate (which I can live with).

If it stayed like that I could easily write a success story and never come back here.

Until soon...

That is great. It is always good to hear that someone here is feeling better and that their symptoms have decreased.

I hope that if it does stay like that you will visit on occasion to let new members know that it does get better. Having members who have made it through is important and can help those newly afflicted with tinnitus see a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Katie34]

Hello. I'm Kate and I'm 34. Iv had t for 10 years. Has anyone ever felt like the t is coming up your throat and nose. Sounds strange and hard to explain. I know there all connected eyes ears and throat. Would really appreciate any explainations xx

 

[TuneOut]

I don't know if it cheers somebody up, but today it's better again for me. From intrusive back to modearate (which I can live with).

If it stayed like that I could easily write a success story and never come back here.

Until soon...

Marlino, thats good to know. Did you do anything special or did it just calm down on its own?