Plucky's Life

[Karen]

Hi, Louise,
This is a very new field, and every time I see my doctor, there are students there watching, because they are trying to learn his techniques. He works on all sorts of brain-related problems. I've seen people come into his office with brain injuries, balance problems, etc. The jury is still out on whether this will ever cure my tinnitus, but at least it has given me some hope. Hope is what keeps us all going, isn't it!!

 

[Louise]

Understand Frank. But you're not going to give up You will find a way you know, you will. x

 

[Louise]

Hi, Louise,
This is a very new field, and every time I see my doctor, there are students there watching, because they are trying to learn his techniques. He works on all sorts of brain-related problems. I've seen people come into his office with brain injuries, balance problems, etc. The jury is still out on whether this will ever cure my tinnitus, but at least it has given me some hope. Hope is what keeps us all going, isn't it!!

Absolutely Karen, absolutely.

I wonder if we have them here - that's tomorrows Googling!

 

[Plucky]

Alright so 8 to 5 I would consider that a substantial improvement over one year. That is interesting. I wonder if there is anyone around me I'm in the NE as you know Frank

 

[Plucky]

Yes hope and I have hope for this, for you.

 

[click]

Yeah, I'm back and good to hear from you. It's inspiring to hear you say you can go back to work. I don't know what I could do at this point workwise. I went down to the hospital and applied for a job taking trays (food) up to the floors and retrieving them afterward, I thought that would be ideal, no heavy responsibility or stress albeit low paying but they never called me back. That has been my only real effort and at this point I honestly don't think there is much else beyond that type of job that I can do. I felt so bad last night the T got so loud as the night came on and I had to go for the clonaz which was only minimally effective. It got me to sleep but only for four hrs. and I was filled with nervous anxiety when i woke up because the volume had not gone down. I put a sound machine next to me on the bed and turned it up and managed to half sleep until the sun filtered in then became too aware of the T again and got up, only too groggy to move so I went back to the couch and put the tv on, just layed there with my face buried in between the couch cushions. This is a battle and the bad days are bad and the good days are filled with fear of the next bad one approaching. I have things to do around this apartment. I have neglected things like never before so there are new unpleasant traits that I am recognizing in myself that were not there before. It is like I have given up on cleaning, cooking ,paying bills, throwing things away and corresponding with people, returning calls. I don't play music except to create background noise and I don't read anymore. I am not the same person i used to be. You said your T was up in both ears did it go back down? I hope so

Hi Plucky

Thought I'd add a little support here...

The way you are feeling right now, in the early months of tinnitus, is how most of us on here felt too.

I promise you that, as time goes by, you will feel more positive; you will be able to do more & life will seem more worthwhile again.

When I first got it (almost 12 months ago) I didn't do any of the normal day to day things - I completely lost the plot. I didn't want to live - what was the point? I didn't read and I didn't interact with friends and family.

It is a battle - you're right. And you can win the battle by just holding in there and letting time work its magic. Little by little you will feel stronger, all the normal daily chores will become easier and you will start to enjoy life again.

It's a slow process but so many of us on this forum have been where you are now and we have climbed out of it.

Make sure you get help to deal with the absolute necessities and don't worry about anything that doesn't really matter - like cleaning.

Be kind to yourself. And try to believe that your brain will adjust eventually.

It wasn't so long ago that I was saying these same words to Louise and now Louise is helping you. In 10 months time you may be the one on here helping someone else who is in the early months of tinnitus.

Stay strong.

Click

 

[Plucky]

I watched Beatles at Washington Colliseum on youtube the other day, not loud at all, and I swear it bothered me. I have had a life with music, loved it, all kinds since I was very little and I suddenly perceive it in a different way, being cautious where I would have jumped right into something and cranked it up. I will- I already do miss being able to do that. I have switched to the classical station now, getting an education there and hearing old music that is new to me and really love some of it. Brahms, Mozart, Gershwin, Copeland come to mind plus there is opera live on saturday afternoon something else new to me, some of it I enjoy very much a , the capability of human voice and melody even though I dont understand the language, still plenty there to love. I will miss all of the old stuff though, my band, I don't know if they got another guy yet. I really don't want to know, the amplifiers that sit around here, when I look at them I realize they are responsible for this misery so I dont love them anymore, want them out of here, the guitars, pedals too. It's almost unbelievable, really turning a page in my life, and I would love nothing more than to put on some ac/ dc or stp or aic at full volume

 

[Plucky]

Thanks, Click that means alot, hard to believe there is a way to climb up but I will trust you on this. As it is, this is a dreadful existence, My only motivation is in finding some way to knock it down and then I get into the give up mode. I would just like to jump ahead now, see where I am in a year, if there is any happiness back in my life or any relief. There should be someone out there warning people of the potential of this happening, how serious it can be. I was well aware of Pete Townshend (guitar player The Who) having it and I thought ok well he still plays I see, only took a break for a while so how bad can it be? Only I never heard how bad it can be and why is it almost like this info is being kept as a secret? I went to a club one night to see my friends band. I didnt even stay the whole night. there were probably sixty people there with me who stayed on after I left yet I doubt not one other came out of there with T so there is no rhyme or reason to it. I guess I crossed the threshold finally of where it couldnt repair itself anymore. By the end of the second day I said there is really something wrong here and it's been that way ever since Frank

 

[Plucky]

Click, If you don't mind, do you take anything on a daily or irregular basis or to induce sleep?

 

[jazz]

Hi, Louise,
This is a very new field, and every time I see my doctor, there are students there watching, because they are trying to learn his techniques. He works on all sorts of brain-related problems. I've seen people come into his office with brain injuries, balance problems, etc. The jury is still out on whether this will ever cure my tinnitus, but at least it has given me some hope. Hope is what keeps us all going, isn't it!!

Karen,

What does your doctor do? I found some neuro chiro's near me. I confess I've never believed in chiro but maybe I was wrong. They seem to have some different technologies focused on pain relief.

Did you doctor advertise tinnitus relief or did you call his/her office and inquire?

 

[click]

Click, If you don't mind, do you take anything on a daily or irregular basis or to induce sleep?

Hi Plucky

I don't, no. I don't take anything at all to help with the tinnitus. No drugs and no supplements.

Drugs scare me and I have never really trusted them - I just think that most doctors dismiss the side effects especially if they are 'rare'. Obviously I've taken antibiotics in the past but even they used to give me a fuzzy head and now of course we know that some can cause T.

In the first couple of weeks they gave me betahistine and a nasal spray. I took the betahistine for a short while but they made me feel weird and lose my appetite, so I stopped. Just one puff of the nasal spray made me shake so I stopped that too.

Vitamin supplements make me feel strange so I don't take them and I'm just too scared (cautious?) to take any supplements such as magnesium etc.

Sleep was a real problem at the start. I couldn't relax or put my head down and so I just stayed awake until I dropped. It was dreadful. So if you can take something that one of the others in here recommends to help you sleep it's probably an excellent idea.

I use rain sounds and I watch a dvd or listen to an audio book now. I also have a bolster pillow that I can tuck an MP3 player into for the bad nights. Most nights now though are fine because the anxiety has pretty much gone. I think it's the fear and anxiety associated with tinnitus that affects us as much as the noise itself.

Click

 

[Louise]

I watched Beatles at Washington Colliseum on youtube the other day, not loud at all, and I swear it bothered me. I have had a life with music, loved it, all kinds since I was very little and I suddenly perceive it in a different way, being cautious where I would have jumped right into something and cranked it up. I will- I already do miss being able to do that. I have switched to the classical station now, getting an education there and hearing old music that is new to me and really love some of it. Brahms, Mozart, Gershwin, Copeland come to mind plus there is opera live on saturday afternoon something else new to me, some of it I enjoy very much a , the capability of human voice and melody even though I dont understand the language, still plenty there to love. I will miss all of the old stuff though, my band, I don't know if they got another guy yet. I really don't want to know, the amplifiers that sit around here, when I look at them I realize they are responsible for this misery so I dont love them anymore, want them out of here, the guitars, pedals too. It's almost unbelievable, really turning a page in my life, and I would love nothing more than to put on some ac/ dc or stp or aic at full volume

We have even more in common then.... I love Opera. I just love what the human voice can do. The sheer beauty of it. It seems God-given that ability. I havent listened to it since I got T. I guess I could if I had it on low. But I didnt used to listen to it on low. I love classical music too and for a few weeks had a classical radio station on as some masking. But, I found my T sort of reacted to it. A couple of weeks ago I found 'Chill out/Lounge' music and that suits me, its very constant sound and there are no breaks, its sound all the time.

I can easily understand what a loss playing music must be to you, and how now its connected with T. I know you think its over but it doesnt have to be. Its just a bit too soon for you now. When people get T, if they are bothered by it, a lot of them go down, but then they come back up. You're in the down bit and it just has to be gotten through. When you start to come up you'll see a way of being able to play again. Other people have done it, with custom earplugs. You mentioned Pete Townsend, he got back into it and there's another I always think of, (because I like his music and 'Fix You' is in my Top 5 all time favourite songs, probably number 2, or maybe 3!), and that's Chris Martin. Apparently T "nearly ended his career in music". It didnt though did it?
You will carve out a life with the things in it you love, eventually. We're with you Frank, keep plugging away

 

[Louise]

Thanks, Click that means alot, hard to believe there is a way to climb up but I will trust you on this. As it is, this is a dreadful existence, My only motivation is in finding some way to knock it down and then I get into the give up mode. I would just like to jump ahead now, see where I am in a year, if there is any happiness back in my life or any relief. There should be someone out there warning people of the potential of this happening, how serious it can be. I was well aware of Pete Townshend (guitar player The Who) having it and I thought ok well he still plays I see, only took a break for a while so how bad can it be? Only I never heard how bad it can be and why is it almost like this info is being kept as a secret? I went to a club one night to see my friends band. I didnt even stay the whole night. there were probably sixty people there with me who stayed on after I left yet I doubt not one other came out of there with T so there is no rhyme or reason to it. I guess I crossed the threshold finally of where it couldnt repair itself anymore. By the end of the second day I said there is really something wrong here and it's been that way ever since Frank

It just a bit soon for you, that's all. Someone once said to me something that's stuck with me... "Its like trying to sunbathe in Winter". That wasnt related to T, just to any situation where its just a bit too soon.

We all agree there should be more warning about noise. I've said before that we should have TV adverts like they do to warn about the dangers of drinking. And posters in venues. And strict LAWS on decibel levels. I really dont understand why these things arent in place!!

Like me, you maybe had some build up of hearing loss then that night tipped it over the edge. Thats what I think happened to me. At first, the thought that I had caused myself hearing loss made me feel physically sick and put me on the verge of panic attack. Now, I dont think of it. I know it, but I dont think of it.

On the practical side of things, you do need to get all the tests done, audiology, ENT and all that. You may be one of the ones who get a lot of T relief with hearing aids.

Dont forget as well that for most people time makes the T quieter. A lot of people on here say that. Click has certainly experienced this with a lot of 'low days' now and so has Erik. Also there is Habituation. Also there is the chance of it just going!

 

[Louise]

Click, If you don't mind, do you take anything on a daily or irregular basis or to induce sleep?

Remeron Frank - you only need a small dose and it keeps working!

You could also try the supplement Melatonin. A lot of people take 3mgs to help them sleep. There is also a slow-release version.

Good luck

 

[Plucky]

Hi to all, I pledged not to take clonaz last night no matter what but told myself I could take Nyquil instead if it got bad. I never took either one. I had a dull headache and I know that laying down on the couch makes my T worse so I propped myself up, sitting up with tv on trying to sleep and eventually did because the cold compress fell off of my head and landed on my shoulder and woke me up at some point. I didnt have sound sleep maybe two, three hrs. and had lower T level in the morning and it was manageable most of the day until I took a trip to buy groceries and I heard the high frequency creeping back in- so now, as I write this, it is up again to a uncomfortable level but I am going to try to ignore it. Trying real hard to ignore it with a catoon show on behind me. Maybe part of the reason is that I have sort of been fearing it since after lunch , that it would come back, also the lack of sleep. Do you think it's a good idea that I am walking these two three four miles a day? Some people on here or some other T site said excersize is good but maybe rest is a better choice in some cases. Who knows? There is so much to sort through. I hope you all get a hug or a comforting hand to hold at some time. I paid for a massage today, it did make feel better, being touched by another human in some meaningful way, even though i was paying for it. Frank

 

[Plucky]

Louise, What is the chillout / lounge? I might like that. I was looking into getting satellite radio it has all sorts of music, categorized, plus talk shows 24/7 then I wouldnt have the tv light or ads bothering me the way they do at night, just voices or music in the dark. I knew that Chris Martin song some of the best songs are the sad ones Frank

 

[Karen]

Hi, Frank,
I'm responding to your question about whether or not walking is good for you. I am a big proponent of walking and all forms of exercise, but I must admit that tinnitus can be exhausting, especially in the early stages. You're probably right to take it easy and rest when you can, especially if you're not getting enough sleep (like most of us at the start of tinnitus!!)

I like walking because it gets me out of the house, and away from the silence,which makes my tinnitus seem so much worse. Moderate exercise is probably best for you right now.

The walking also helps control my blood pressure, which is what caused my tinnitus to be come severe in the first place. I took a blood pressure drug that turned out to be ototoxic, and the rest is history!

 

[Plucky]

Hi, Karen,
Thanks for the advise. Then maybe the answer is to slow down and enjoy the walk instead of making it a workout. I was taking a drug (OTC) Zegerid which I was suspicious of being ototoxic, there are a few references to these type drugs being ototoxic on the internet. I was taking it for five years, When the T hit I stopped and have been surviving without- and have drastically altered my diet to prevent acid reflux. Salt seemed to influence T volume so I have tried to cut that back as well. Do you have any info on that? There are lots of food I am missing lately

 

[Louise]

I agree with Karen, exercise can be sort of both good and 'bad'! It is of course a good idea. But, it gets the blood pumping and can stress the body a bit and so could raise the T a bit temporarily. I've read that someplace and I think it does have this effect on me. Doesnt stop me walking though. And it can give a break from the noise a bit.

You're sounding a bit better. You're strong to do without the drugs. But then on the other hand if its too hard without....

Anyway, Chill Out/Lounge is what they play in cool, chilled out night clubs (dont ask me how I know ok? ). You can just Google 'Chill out music' and try others, theres loads to go at.

 

[Louise]

Hi, Karen,
Thanks for the advise. Then maybe the answer is to slow down and enjoy the walk instead of making it a workout. I was taking a drug (OTC) Zegerid which I was suspicious of being ototoxic, there are a few references to these type drugs being ototoxic on the internet. I was taking it for five years, When the T hit I stopped and have been surviving without- and have drastically altered my diet to prevent acid reflux. Salt seemed to influence T volume so I have tried to cut that back as well. Do you have any info on that? There are lots of food I am missing lately

Do you have acid reflux? I know quite a bit about what can cause this.

 

[Plucky]

These are good. mellow music, and i want to go there (the beach with the palm tree not the cool chilled out night club). They might be a better choice than classical as they sometimes sneak up on you with the 1812 Overture which could ruin the day with T. I did almost give in and indulge with clonaz this afternoon and no telling what I will do tonight but I took a walk down the block, talked to the herbal guy and he sold me Valerian which I would try first. I do have acid reflux, and now taking nothing for it and getting by too, but steering way clear of all kinds of food and it's no wonder Im losing weight when you include stress from T and walking for miles on end. It's a very bland blah diet. How are you doing today? Is it staying the same or did you have any peace today at all? I hope you are feeling better. I always forget the time difference between us

 

[Louise]

Ha ha, yes, the 1812 Overture is no good for T! I listen to that type of music all day when Im in. I like the coverage and the relaxing effects. There's loads to choose from, which is quite nice too. They cause my laptop fan to kick in as well so I get coverage from that too.

Just noticed our Login ins all say "No mood" now. Well I might be in a mood! Will have to see what that is later.
Valerian should help. There's something caled Picamillon which is herbal (I think) and is supposed to increase GABA. I have some but I didint give it a proper try, I was too bad for it to help.

Wheat and dairy can be culprits for acid (and other things), alcohol and coffee. But, paradoxically, low stomach acid can be the cause. It was my cause and I sorted it. The tum needs an acid environment to digest proteins and if its low in Hydrochloric Acid then proteins dont get digested and this causes acid reflux. There are lots of reasons why our HCL can be low, aging, too little salt in the diet (salt is needed for the body to manufacture HCL), H. Pylori infection (that's what I had), taking antacids which further lower the acidity. I started on a protocol for this which was given to me by a naturopath, the supplement is Solgar Betain HCL but you have to start off taking it in a very specific way. It stopped my terrible acid very quickly.

Bet I sound like a right know it all - I'll shut up now

 

[Plucky]

No, No I appreciate all you say, you help me What does it mean no moods"? I'm having a rough time . The night was bad, The Valerien made me slightly drowsy for about twenty minutes not enough to overpower the anxiety. I ended up watching dreadful tv until two, then gave up on that and went to bed to lay next to the machine but it was too loud the T was too loud. I felt like I was imploding. it was 230, alone and completely disconnected from any source of help. I eventually slept two or three hrs. but up with the sun and feeling awful again. I am still in a bad place here and it is compounded by so many other obligations and issues that I have to address. In the Hogan book it states somewhere that there is a psychological component to the onset of T in over 90% of cases and I was walking around with all of this heavy stuff, divorce, job loss, death when it started. All of these issues are still present and need to be addressed somehow. I am a absolute disaster today. Thanks for being here

 

[Plucky]

The stomach issues are worse now too as the days go on. I think it is due to general nervousness, I feel mildly nauseous at times and have lost my appetite, then the reflux burn? As if the T wasn't bad enough. I also find myself feeling shakey, hand unsteady. How are you today

 

[Markku]

Plucky: you can click the "No Mood" icon and pick one of the available moods, which should correspond to how you feel.

If one happens to think the Moods are gimmicky, then they can be turned off in the Preferences. Click here.


I'm sorry you are feeling so low. It doesn't help you got so little sleep. If only we could fast forward to the better times. Tinnitus combined with other set of problems such as your divorce, job loss and bereavement is something I have a hard time comprehending. It's not fair

You might have mentioned this earlier, but what kind of support network do you have? Do you have family or close friends that can help you go through with all this? Tinnitus Talk is wonderful and you find great people here, but I hope you also have real life support, we humans need that.

And good morning, I think it's morning now in the US. Afternoon here in Finland.
Lack of sleep makes everything so much harder. I wish you get a good night's sleep tonight.

 

[Plucky]

Yes, Markku, It's morning, good morning and thank you for your kind words. This is the best group here on this site. I am so thankful for the support I receive here and that it exists to found by others who are in need of help and understanding. I wish I could say otherwise but I have no one here in real life who can understand what I am going through here with me except for my mother who is blind and does not live close by. So I am going it alone unless I sit and talk to the psychiatrist for an hour. Other family members are busy, friends seem put off, no calls, cards, or visits but they say they are praying for me.

 

[Louise]

I'm so sorry Frank, I can identify with what you are going through. Dont you think its time for some help of the medicinal kind? If you could get your sleep back then that will make things better. I dont want to sound like a drug pusher but why suffer when there's something that can help? I hate the chemicals in drugs and the side-effects issures but I thank God they were there for me. The other obligations will seem like mountains to climb if you havent slept.

A lot of T resources speak of the psychological component to T onset and persistence. I too was very stressed when it started, but still, if I hadnt put my fool ears next to that awful, loud noise it wouldnt have happened. Not then anyways. Its good to look at all ways of de-stressing. Definitely. Numerous resources state that anxiety makes T worse.

I wish I could help more. Can't you call these friends who say they are praying for you? They might think you want to be left alone! Some people do think that when a person is going through something awful. Just the same way as when you have a bereavement people can avoid you! Or avoid talking about it.

Have you thought any more about doing some low-level work?

Have you thought about reading the TRT Book by Jastreboff & Hazell? It might be comforting as it explains the T mechanism and how it can be habituated.

I'm ok, thanks for asking. The T seems to have gone down since it was up after the music. But the right ear seems to be getting worse and catching up with the other one. My big problem (other than T of course) is that I need to work. I need to find a job. Its never been this hard and just when I dont need it

 

[Plucky]

Louise, I hope you can find something good. I could push myself harder to find work once I get the sleep issue worked out. The past few nights have been real hellish, dark world, you know. I can't do anything requiring too much concentration. The book I know I should read that but after reading Hogan going online etc. there's only so much I can take of T World, It's like I'm submerged already. The people who pray for me are far away and the ones who are close are the busy ones. I think part of it is they don't see what is wrong cannot fathom how much agony is inside. I don't know how anyone will ever come around with the surround sound environment I created. I asked a neighbor to come over the other night just to talk, please, and watch Jeopardy, she lasted about twenty minutes. This is someone who I have done huge favors for in the past including monetarily, you would think ...well, I don't know what to think. I called the dr. this morning asked him for ideas on what to take and mentioned Remeron, I am waiting for a call back and then run and pick up the scrip. I don't want another night like the last two but don't want to do clonaz or xanax either. I put my car out for sale today. I am quickly running out of money and ideas. I would like to just get really knocked out tonight.

 

[Plucky]

I am actually not too far off from becoming homeless. I am spending away all of my savings much more quickly than I thought with the dr bills. I am selling off any possessions, antiquity that has any value trying not to go into my measly retirement account. maybe I shouldnt go into this here.

 

[Louise]

Frank, you have a number of problems going on, awful stuff. All you can do is tackle them slowly, one at a time. Bite sized chunks. The first is sleep. I am convinced that remeron will sort this out for you. It is also an antidepressant which would be good at this time. When you take Remeron make sure you're ready to go to bed as it should (did and still does with me) drop you like a stone. When I researched it on the net I found a few people saying this!

Why do you think your neighbour didnt stay too long? The sound environment? People are scared arent they when they see someone who has problems/in pain. Its disappointing whats happening to you to say the least.

I know what you are saying about the book. I took in so much information in the first 4 months my head was spinning. When I couldnt find anything to work I got fed up of it all. I am going to read the TRT book though as habituation is now my goal. I read the first few chapters in the summer but dropped it to research 'cures'!!

I understand the money sitch. I have had to get my mortgage company to let me pay Interest Only and have been paying that out of the small savings I had, which are gone now! I think once you get the sleep sorted and maybe the anxiety with Pregabalin, then you'll be more able to tackle things and go to work. The drugs dont have to stay forever, they are just needed to get you out of the place you're in now.

There will be light again, try to hang on to that.