Restaurant Survival with Hyperacusis

[Finnigan]

Good Gracious! I've been trying to get out in public more despite this awful ear problem and boy did I have a hard time in a noisy restaurant. So many people talking and no music playing. It was soooo overly loud and sounds were so overwhelming that I nearly had to leave. I couldn't even hear my daughter talking to me from across the small table. To make matters worse, the couple across from us were having an argument and it looked like they were about to get violent so I was figuring out how I was going to protect my daughter if SHTF while we were there. On a funny note, I'm so pissed off with this ear thing, I probably would have kicked some serious ass. Lol.

Anyway, how do you handle so much noise in a restaurant type setting? I'm selling my house and getting ready to move so eating out is more frequent until we are settled again.

I also had trouble just functioning in Best Buy. I had to have my daughter handle Geek Squad questions because the buzzing in my ear was so outrageous and was making me feel overwhelmed and unable to cognitively cope.

How can I hear things so loudly inside my head yet not be able to hear my daughter speak to me or anyone else?

 

[Starthrower]

Anyway, how do you handle so much noise in a restaurant type setting?

Hi @Finnigan. Even after all these years my husband and I just get up and leave when the restaurant noise level is unbearable for my tinnitus. The noise bothers him also and he does not have tinnitus but his ears will ring sometimes after being in such a place. But his goes away.

Ugg. Best Buys. Same thing. There I can wear my ear plugs and spend less time. Find what we need and get out.

But don't feel bad or anything when the situation like the Geek Squad and being unable to cope. That is when my husband steps in to help out. I gave up trying to explain.

I don't know how those employees handle working in those places. And the new trend is the noisier the restaurant the better for some reason.

 

[Digital Doc]

Random thought. But I have noticed that the fast food places are quieter than most of the restaurants by me.

Were you wearing ear protection when this happened? Sounds like too much to go without.

 

[Finnigan]

Hi Starthrower,
Thank you for your reply and I'm so glad to read about your experience. Not glad for you of course but glad that it's not just me. I was in such a daze at Best Buy that it kind of scared me. The Geek Squad guy was super nice but like you, I too just gave up trying to remind him to talk louder and handed things over to my daughter.

At Chedders, I had to keep my finger over my bad ear just to get threw the meal. So frustrating. I will have to invest in ear plugs.

The scary thing is that walking out of Best Buy my daughter was trying to tell me a car was coming and I didn't hear her and nearly got run over because Imwas so consumed with then horrible sound in my ear and I couldn't even hear the car's loud engine. It was a vintage hot rod with a loud engine apparently.

 

[Finnigan]

Random thought. But I have noticed that the fast food places are quieter than most of the restaurants by me.

Were you wearing ear protection when this happened? Sounds like too much to go without.

Yes you are correct. We ate at Wendy's and it wasn't nearly as bad as Chedders. No I don't have any ear protection but I think I'm gonna get some soft plugs today.

 

[Digital Doc]

Yes you are correct. We ate at Wendy's and it wasn't nearly as bad as Chedders. No I don't have any ear protection but I think I'm gonna get some soft plugs today.

I have eaten at fast food places, and been fine with no protection. I have also eaten a some restaurants and found them kind of noisy, but got through without ear plugs. I was annoyed at the several TV sets that Applebees and Chilis had the last time I was there.

Thanks for the reminder about Best Buy, as the place was always too loud even before the tinnitus, so will bring the plugs if need to go there, which rarely do anyway.

 

[Red]

How do I handle noise at a restaurant? Simple, I don't. I choose not to go because they give me bad T and H spikes that last for weeks.

I did go to a restaurant recently. It was a family owned Vietnamese restaurant at 2pm. No music playing, only customer in building. Now that was a restaurant experience I could handle.

 

[Starthrower]

The scary thing is that walking out of Best Buy my daughter was trying to tell me a car was coming and I didn't hear her and nearly got run over because Imwas so consumed with then horrible sound in my ear and I couldn't even hear the car's loud engine. It was a vintage hot rod with a loud engine apparently.

I get this very well. For me when I was so unsettled and nervous and filled with anxiety because of the noise exposure that is what affected more after leaving a place and not having the attention span. So glad your daughter was with you. This was a hard one for me to deal with.

I still remember my first ever solo walk through a parking lot after having been house bound for a year. It was like a live mine field for me. Dodging people using their key fobs and the honk. Loud cars going by.

Sometimes it hurts to remember this stuff. But is is equally important not to forget.

 

[Bill Bauer]

how do you handle so much noise in a restaurant type setting?

I stay away from restaurants.

If someone were to (literally) put a gun to my head, and insist that I go to a restaurant, I would do my homework and find a restaurant that is quiet and go there at a time when it is the quietest.

I'm selling my house and getting ready to move so eating out is more frequent until we are settled again.

Can't you just take some frozen broccoli/frozen blueberries and heat that up in a microwave?

 

[Juan]

Restaurants have become noisier and noisier. The newer designs and furniture play their part, and sound bounces everywhere producing a kind of echo and distortion that drives people to talk even louder.

Some tips for a better restaurant experience, if you can adjust to all these, could be going at odd times when there is less people, trying to sit outside at a terrace if weather and traffic allows, going to smaller restaurants where tables may be further apart.. for a better experience a lot of adjustments are needed. In our town, full of restaurants, we just go to 2 places we like.

If you have a decibel meter on your cellphone it is possible to get an idea of the noise levels inside restaurants. Sometimes they're just crazy, almost concert loud.

 

[Gman]

If I can't comfortably hear the people around me or a raised voice is needed, I will not stay in a restaurant. Even if I can hear fine and there's a lot of supposedly "safe" noise that irritates me or makes me question it's "safeness" I won't feel comfortable and will hasten my exit. It's not a great way to exist.

 

[Bill Bauer]

It's not a great way to exist.

It is a much better way to exist than having to exist and listen to louder tinnitus...

 

[Gman]

It is a much better way to exist than having to exist and listen to louder tinnitus...

Yep true but it's still not a great way to exisit in what should be perfectly normal situations. But I'd love to be one of those luckier people we hear about who have had mild T for years and it's never really bothered them or spiked etc.

 

[Alue]

I have this dilemma frequently with my job, only it's not family members that are understanding but co-workers and business customers who really don't understand the extent of my hearing condition. It's difficult finding a quiet restaurant these days.

 

[Vincent R]

Good Gracious ! I've been trying to get out in public more despite this awful ear problem and boy did I have a hard time in a noisy restaurant. So many people talking and no music playing. It was soooo overly loud and sounds were so overwhelming that I nearly had to leave. I couldn't even hear my daughter talking to me from across the small table. To make matters worse, the couple across from us were having an argument and it looked like they were about to get violent so I was figuring out how I was going to protect my daughter if SHTF while we were there. On a funny note, I'm so pissed off with this ear thing, I probably would have kicked some serious ass. Lol

Anyway, how do you handle so much noise in a restaurant type setting? I'm selling my house and getting ready to move so eating out is more frequent until we are settled again.

I also had trouble just functioning in Best Buy. I had to have my daughter handle Geek Squad questions because the buzzing in my ear was so outrageous and was making me feel overwhelmed and unable to cognitively cope.

How can I hear things so loudly inside my head yet not be able to hear my daughter speak to me or anyone else???

Carry properly inserted foam ear plugs and cultivate a casual approach to the concept of hearing what other people are saying.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I would never again put myself in such a loud place, and if I went to a restaurant that got that loud, I would leave.

I still go to quiet cafés and restaurants (about once a month on average), but if it gets loud I am leaving. The health of my ears is more important then anything.

 

[Marceline]

Yesterday was my birthday and although I had lot of work today, my boyfriend (*) persuaded me to take an evenig off and go to a small restaurant. It was a very small pizzeria with round about 15 - 20 people sitting there, every one talking to each other. Right after I entered the room, I immeditately left, because it was to loud for me.

At home my boyfriend (*) made a huge scene: "Marcy, we can never do anything outside, because of your strange ear problems! We never go to concerts together! We never go in the cinema. And now we can't even eat a pizza! That's too much for me". He yelled all evening and since it was my birthday and I wented a calm day, I said "Ok, you know what! We're going to that restaurant again!". And then we sat there, 2 hours. It was very loud, but he said to me "If you leave again now, you're embarrasing me". After I came out my ears blared very much. I feel a small spike, but the main problem is the boomed feeling in my ear.

I also notice, that, while listining to music, I don't hear the very high voices anymore. Could this be temporaly or permantenly?

(*) Oh, I forget a tiny detail: He's now my ex-boyfriend from today on. Sorry, but I can't take him anymore..

 

[Daniel Lion]

Yesterday was my birthday and although I had lot of work today, my boyfriend (*) persuaded me to take an evenig off and go to a small restaurant. It was a very small pizzeria with round about 15 - 20 people sitting there, every one talking to each other. Right after I entered the room, I immeditately left, because it was to loud for me.

At home my boyfriend (*) made a huge scene: "Marcy, we can never do anything outside, because of your strange ear problems! We never go to concerts together! We never go in the cinema. And now we can't even eat a pizza! That's too much for me". He yelled all evening and since it was my birthday and I wented a calm day, I said "Ok, you know what! We're going to that restaurant again!". And then we sat there, 2 hours. It was very loud, but he said to me "If you leave again now, you're embarrasing me". After I came out my ears blared very much. I feel a small spike, but the main problem is the boomed feeling in my ear.

I also notice, that, while listining to music, I don't hear the very high voices anymore. Could this be temporaly or permantenly?

(*) Oh, I forget a tiny detail: He's now my ex-boyfriend from today on. Sorry, but I can't take him anymore..

Good job, glad he is your ex boyfriend. What an awful thing to do to you or anybody. You'll be fine.

I don't go out to restaurants for financial reasons, and if I do go with the family we go somewhere quiet at off peak hours. When I am cashed up I'll buy us salmon and mussels and cook a feast at home.

Protect your ears, they should settle down, and don't ever compromise your health for a jerk.

Proud of you Marceline, also a big fan of Adventure Time, watched it with my kids.

 

[just1morething]

Yesterday was my birthday and although I had lot of work today, my boyfriend (*) persuaded me to take an evenig off and go to a small restaurant. It was a very small pizzeria with round about 15 - 20 people sitting there, every one talking to each other. Right after I entered the room, I immeditately left, because it was to loud for me.

At home my boyfriend (*) made a huge scene: "Marcy, we can never do anything outside, because of your strange ear problems! We never go to concerts together! We never go in the cinema. And now we can't even eat a pizza! That's too much for me". He yelled all evening and since it was my birthday and I wented a calm day, I said "Ok, you know what! We're going to that restaurant again!". And then we sat there, 2 hours. It was very loud, but he said to me "If you leave again now, you're embarrasing me". After I came out my ears blared very much. I feel a small spike, but the main problem is the boomed feeling in my ear.

I also notice, that, while listining to music, I don't hear the very high voices anymore. Could this be temporaly or permantenly?

(*) Oh, I forget a tiny detail: He's now my ex-boyfriend from today on. Sorry, but I can't take him anymore..

Maybe you could go at off times of the day when nobody is there? Your boyfriend was still rude and not understanding at all. It is hard for other people to understand tinnitus when it's invisible.

 

[Marceline]

Good job, glad he is your ex boyfriend. What an awful thing to do to you or anybody. You'll be fine. Protect your ears, they should settle down, and don't ever compromise your health for a jerk. Proud of you Marceline, also a big fan of Adventure Time, watched it with my kids.

Thanks for reassuring me, Daniel Lion. Yeah, I feel a little better today. Yesterday was terrible. My ear felt like it came from an rock concert, although it was just a small pizzeria at the corner.

Yeah, Adventure Time is a great show to watch as a kid and as an adult. It really helped me through a lot.

Your boyfriend was still rude and not understanding at all. It is hard for other people to understand tinnitus when it's invisible.

You're right. Sadly many people, who doesn't know tinnitus or hyperacusis don't understand, which problems people like us have. They complain if I run away from loud places or don't wanna go in the cinema with them together or something like that. But I doesn't mean to hurt them. It's just that when I go to loud places, I feel so uncomfortable at the moment and suffer weeks after that. It takes me like a month to calm down from an overmoduled microphone e.g. At my university there's now a huge construction area right next to our lecture rooms and it kills me everday. Also some teachers complain if I leave the room, because I can't stand it. They thought I would like to cut classes, but they don't understand (even after I explained it to them).

Gladly there also friends who are understanding to my problems and are helping and encouraging.

 

[Daniel Lion]

Thanks for reassuring me, Daniel Lion. Yeah, I feel a little better today. Yesterday was terrible. My ear felt like it came from an rock concert, although it was just a small pizzeria at the corner.

Yeah, Adventure Time is a great show to watch as a kid and as an adult. It really helped me through a lot.
You're right. Sadly many people, who doesn't know tinnitus or hyperacusis don't understand, which problems people like us have. They complain if I run away from loud places or don't wanna go in the cinema with them together or something like that. But I doesn't mean to hurt them. It's just that when I go to loud places, I feel so uncomfortable at the moment and suffer weeks after that. It takes me like a month to calm down from an overmoduled microphone e.g. At my university there's now a huge construction area right next to our lecture rooms and it kills me everday. Also some teachers complain if I leave the room, because I can't stand it. They thought I would like to cut classes, but they don't understand (even after I explained it to them).

Gladly there also friends who are understanding to my problems and are helping and encouraging.

Sorry your teachers are idiots. I suppose you could give them an article about tinnitus and hyperacusis and how it is a disability. Try and educate them and see what happens. Life is an endurance test, I am sure you will succeed at what ever you apply yourself to. Stay strong and let us know how you're doing. It takes ages for ears to heal, so don't overdo things...

 

[MSF]

The restaurant thing is tricky--before going somewhere I could ask if they have any quieter corners and if you can have a seat there. Eating with earplugs is annoying so just use them when not eating. I guess the other option could be some earmuffs, tho that will certainly draw some looks.

 

[Striveon]

I have eaten at fast food places, and been fine with no protection. I have also eaten a some restaurants and found them kind of noisy, but got through without ear plugs. I was annoyed at the several TV sets that Applebees and Chilis had the last time I was there.

Thanks for the reminder about Best Buy, as the place was always too loud even before the tinnitus, so will bring the plugs if need to go there, which rarely do anyway.

Which restauraunts were you able to get by without the earplugs?

 

[Striveon]

I get this very well. For me when I was so unsettled and nervous and filled with anxiety because of the noise exposure that is what affected more after leaving a place and not having the attention span. So glad your daughter was with you. This was a hard one for me to deal with.

I still remember my first ever solo walk through a parking lot after having been house bound for a year. It was like a live mine field for me. Dodging people using their key fobs and the honk. Loud cars going by.

Sometimes it hurts to remember this stuff. But is is equally important not to forget.

Are you able to go out without earplugs??

 

[Juan]

I also notice, that, while listining to music, I don't hear the very high voices anymore. Could this be temporaly or permantenly?

That's one of the symtoms derived from hearing problems. It's hard to hear in noise, specially the high frequencies.

As for restaurants, it's hard to find a good place. I go regularly to a bunch of places, carefully selected. There are other tips for restaurant survival: choose odd times, eat early or kind of late, go on days when there is less people, avoid weekends..

 

[messedupmyears]

I went to a restaurant for the first time since the hyperacusis and noise sensitivity started getting bad, and I'm in terrible agony, it's gotten 1000x worse, I'm never going to a restaurant again. There was some piece of shit SCREAMING at the bar or the restaurant and I just wanted to punch the shit out of him, it was the loudest screams I have ever heard, spontaneously for no fucking reason.

I'm never going to be able to live again.

I just got construction level earmuffs, I cannot listen to everyday sounds or even a kitchen fan.

This is miserable, they need to cure this shit.

What is specifically damaged from hyperacusis that is caused by extreme noise exposure? There's ear pain and extreme noise exposure that causes tinnitus directly in tandem with the noise exposure.

I need to get this fixed... I cannot do anything like this.

 

[Simon85]

@messedupmyears, if this is a recent spike then it's very likely to subside again and you'll go back to where you were before. As difficult as it is your best bet is to relax, try to give your ears some rest, get good sleep (pills if you have to) and give it a few months to settle.

As for people screaming at the bar that's unfortunate. Even if you described your symptoms in great detail people would still have next to no clue unless they have hyperacusis themselves. For hearing protection I'd suggest shelling out for some custom moulded ear plugs if you can; they're expensive but worth the money in my opinion.

I completely get the misery... not long ago I was having ear pain whilst flossing my teeth. Of all the mundane things. Everyday life becomes very difficult. Fast forward 4 months and this is not nearly as bad. Ears take a long time to settle.

 

[Juan]

I just got construction level earmuffs, I cannot listen to everyday sounds or even a kitchen fan.

I once went to a restaurant wearing construction earmuffs hahaha...

Other times I wore foam earplugs. Here the tricky thing is what to order (crunchy food and earplugs are a no no). If I sat outside on a terrace there would be the added danger of super loud motorbikes passing by. I will never get people's taste for sitting on terraces right by heavy traffic (and they do sit there!).

Now, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, it's been over a year since I don't eat out. Oddly, I don't miss it at all. It has been an opportunity to enhance my cooking skills at home. I am getting better and better around the kitchen!