Scared and Panicked

[Bryanpen]

Hi it's lorritay.I was just wondering how you are getting on now as our tinnitus was very similar.It's 9 weeks for me now and is still the same, possibly has more periods of hissing noises now and I am sleeping better but still is hard work to cope with.Been to ENT and got exactly the same response as you totally flat.No emotional support just said my hearing ok and have a MIR scan in a few weeks and nothing else.Hope you are feeling better with some improvement.

Hi Lorritay,

Well i am surviving. That's about all I can say now. Sleep has improved a bit so that's helped. No improvement in my T. My symptoms seems to get worst as the day goes on. In the morning it's pretty calm, not very noticeable. Then like clockwork it ramps up in the early afternoon and steady gets worse throughout the evening. Not surely this is the case. How are you doing? Anything anything helping you cope?

 

[Lorritay]

I completed my first day back at work today and I managed.It was a huge hurdle to get over to try to get my life back.My ears are ringing still, it goes worse in the afternoon and evening.Do you manage to work?
How did you get on with the MRI scan I'm fearful of having it done its in 2 weeks.I don't have tips for coping because I'm only just surviving like you. Lorritay

 

[Andrew Bailey]

Hello everyone here that's suffering with the tinnitus! What your all experiencing is natural!this is how most of us with the T feel in the early days of getting it! To feel angry, anxious, and panick attacks are all part and parcel of the condition. I was exactly like that, I was in fact on my knees with despair 26years ago when I was blighted with it. Like a lot of you on this forum, I too thought I'd never be able to get used to this invasive very loud hissing in both ears! I couldn't sleep, nor think straite! So I know what it's like, the feeling of despair and isolation, I felt that people were looking at me as if I had two heads or something! as no one could understand just what I was going through, but I managed to contact a support group and it was a comfort to know that I wasn't the only one feeling this way! in fact there are hundreds of thousands of us around the world with the T problem.
The most important part of starting to cope with this is to try and make sure your able to sleep well, then to make an effort to focus on other things there by keeping your mind occupied. Don't worry about your doctor prescribing antidepressants, as they will take away much of the anxiety and help to keep you calm! it's only for a while, after you habituate to the T you will be weaned off them, then you'll no longer need them. That's how it was for me too.
Habituation is a natural process but you have to be patient as it takes time, it's a gradual process. My tinnitus is the same now as it was 26 years ago, it's very loud and never changes, it's a 24/7 thing, but I've a great life, for all its still there it doesn't stop me doing any thing at all. It's only when your not coping that it blights your life. Just hang on in there, it does get much easier to cope as time passes, and it passes to quickly for me these days, I'm 59 now.
everyone must be positive, and determined not to give in to it, tell yourselves! "the tinnitus is not worthy of your ATTENSION" and if you can have a night Capp, it'll at least help relax you and help you to sleep. It's very differcult to be able to cope with any ailment if your constantly tired.
Best wishes to everyone,
by this time next year! you'll be wondering why you were so unhappy.

 

[Andrew Bailey]

Hello everyone here that's suffering with the tinnitus! What your all experiencing is natural!this is how most of us with the T feel in the early days of getting it! To feel angry, anxious, and panick attacks are all part and parcel of the condition. I was exactly like that, I was in fact on my knees with despair 26years ago when I was blighted with it. Like a lot of you on this forum, I too thought I'd never be able to get used to this invasive very loud hissing in both ears! I couldn't sleep, nor think straite! So I know what it's like, the feeling of despair and isolation, I felt that people were looking at me as if I had two heads or something! as no one could understand just what I was going through, but I managed to contact a support group and it was a comfort to know that I wasn't the only one feeling this way! in fact there are hundreds of thousands of us around the world with the T problem.
The most important part of starting to cope with this is to try and make sure your able to sleep well, then to make an effort to focus on other things there by keeping your mind occupied. Don't worry about your doctor prescribing antidepressants, as they will take away much of the anxiety and help to keep you calm! it's only for a while, after you habituate to the T you will be weaned off them, then you'll no longer need them. That's how it was for me too.
Habituation is a natural process but you have to be patient as it takes time, it's a gradual process. My tinnitus is the same now as it was 26 years ago, it's very loud and never changes, it's a 24/7 thing, but I've a great life, for all its still there it doesn't stop me doing any thing at all. It's only when your not coping that it blights your life. Just hang on in there, it does get much easier to cope as time passes, and it passes to quickly for me these days, I'm 59 now.
everyone must be positive, and determined not to give in to it, tell yourselves! "the tinnitus is not worthy of your ATTENSION" and if you can have a night Capp, it'll at least help relax you and help you to sleep. It's very differcult to be able to cope with any ailment if your constantly tired.
Best wishes to everyone,
by this time next year! you'll be wondering why you were so unhappy.

 

[Lorritay]

Thank you Andrew for your understanding, support and knowledge it is a lot of good advice. I have managed so far without any medication, I was not offered anything by the Gp or Ent doctor so I have had to manage.Is that Whitley bay Yorkshire.I'm from Wigan Lancashire.Everything you have said is exactly what I have felt and going through even feeling different to everyone else like you said having 2 heads.It is good to know that others have felt and gone through the same horrible things. Thanks lorritay

 

[Bryanpen]

Thanks Andrew. It great to hear some positive feedback on our situation. I too have not had any antidepressants meds prescribed yet. Little nervous to get them to be honest, though it might be the best thing at this stage. Lorritay, don't be nervous about the MRI. I had just had one and it's ok. Little claustrophobic, but close your eyes and just try to relax. I wonder why our T is stronger/louder in the afternoon and evening? If only I could go through the day with morning T levels I would be much happier. Sorry for your suffering but it's good to know someone else is feeling what I am feeling now. Good luck.

 

[Lorritay]

Thanks Bryanpen. I did my first day at work it was hard but I survived . It was in a noisy high school and in the evening my ears started roaring worse than they had in ages.I then woke after 4 hrs sleep with very loud ringing and could not sleep the rest of the night. Today I worked my second day used ear plugs at times but again my ears have been roaring.I am so upset now because I don't know if I can cope because the work seems to be making it worse but when you need money . Sorry I now seem to spend my life now moaning. Do you work and how does it affect you? And how was your MRI result?

 

[IreneW]

@Bryanpen this is the best place to share your feelings on what is going on. For the most part we have all been where you are, the fear, panic, anxiety and dark thoughts. I woke up on 10/18/15 completely dead in my left ear with vertigo and roaring T. Yes I had those feelings and ended up having a nervous breakdown. Guess what ? It's Feb 23, 2016 and I feel better than ever. Is my hearing back? ummm maybe at 80% , is my vertigo gone ? Yes Thank god! Is my ringing still there ? Heck yes !! But I'm in a much better place, my brain has finally learned to ignore the ringing so it's no longer a threat. I have had incidents recently where the pitch changes to lower sound and sometimes it stops ringing a a matter of seconds and returns. Just a few days ago it stopped ringing for like 30 seconds and it certainly got my attention because my brain was saying " hey ringing where did you go?". Am on Meds yes I am on effexor 150 a day, and intitially was taking anxiety meds which I no longer need. Over all I feel great and you will too. I remenber reading post like what I'm typing thinking "yea right" but honesty you have to think positive and things will turn around. For me lots of prayer, support from family and lastly meds helped me though my dark times. ️️Hugs to you !

 

[Phil-O]

Thanks Bryanpen. I did my first day at work it was hard but I survived . It was in a noisy high school and in the evening my ears started roaring worse than they had in ages.I then woke after 4 hrs sleep with very loud ringing and could not sleep the rest of the night. Today I worked my second day used ear plugs at times but again my ears have been roaring.I am so upset now because I don't know if I can cope because the work seems to be making it worse but when you need money . Sorry I now seem to spend my life now moaning. Do you work and how does it affect you? And how was your MRI result?

Hi @Lorritay
I have had T for about 12 months, so can't advise you too much, but know exactly how you feel. There are many wise experienced people on here who will definitely support you through this journey. Their advice how the brain will filter out and start to neither focus on it, nor see T as a threat has helped me lots. In the meantime check out the success and positivity stories, they certainly show how there's light at the end of the tunnel, and helped to start me on the path to recovery. I notice you are in North West Uk, there is a support group at Blackpool Victoria Hospital in the audiology dept. That's where I got supplied my behind ear white noise maskers. We meet every 3 months.
Although it takes time, try https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172 Best wishes Phil

 

[Lorritay]

Bryan try to find the thread the quest for expensive silence or habitation question it helped me a lot thanks to Anthony 13 who wrote it

 

[Lorritay]

Bryanpen how are you doing? is the T any better for you? I felt that mine was improving slightly then the Noisy MRI scan made it worse again and I have been struggling a bit since.I am doing normal things in my life and still managing without medication, but it is hard at times.I went back into sleeping problems following the scan. I have no result from the scan yet just know my hearing is normal.Hope you are ok and feeling better.

 

[robinbird]

Sorry about your distress. I came down with T a little over a year ago. Woke me up out of my sleep. Went through much of what you describe. Most of us had no clue what T was. Until we got it. Lack of information on it makes it that much more difficult. I never heard of it! Mine was not from noise. Still not sure what it is from. Seen two ENTs and had MRI and CT scan. One ENT said I had Pulsatile Tinnitus. Perhaps in the beginning but now I think it is just T. In the beginning I would put a heating pad on my ear. The heat comforted me. I took Lorazapan as prescribed to calm down. Usually at night. Maybe during the day in the beginning. Of course, not when working as it makes me sleepy. Then I listened to YouTube meditation videos of relaxing the body. I listened to a favorite group of mine when I was young called Bread. That relaxed my nerves. I realized certain foods set off the T. Like coffee, alcohol, sugar, Chinese food etc. started drinking lots of water. The water seemed to calm it down. When at home, I just kept my headphones on and my phone in my pocket so i did not have to listen to the T. The noise changed many times to different sounds and volume. It was weird. Still have T but it now has a predictable personality of sorts. It went from a roar to a soft flowing water sound. Sometimes it sounds like air noise Sometimes it is almost gone. When I sit in a certain chair or lay down I can hear it more. Walking around makes it go away. I had two full body massages and noticed no noise for a short time. Back and neck rubs by my husband helped. Funny thing is I went outside this year, with ear protection and helped my husband split wood with The log splitter. When i came in the house there was total silence!!! You will adjust as we all do. I agree with most on this site that at first we all get so freaked out for obvious reasons. It will calm down. In the meantime, find relaxation through music and whatever it takes. I am glad I have Lorazapan. I now only take half a pill, maybe once a week if I can't sleep. Usually I can sleep now on my own. Keep us informed and good luck with acupuncture.

 

[Karen]

@Bryanpen,

Hi, again. I hope you're doing a little better today, and was wondering if you have been to the acupuncturist yet. I have heard of a very few people who said their tinnitus was helped by acupuncture, and was hoping it had worked for you. If it doesn't help your tinnitus, it will at least help your anxiety, and may also help with sleep.

Also, time is a great healer, especially where tinnitus is concerned. I truly hope things are improving for you!!

Take care, and best wishes,
Karen

 

[Bryanpen]

Hi Karen,

No I haven't seen and acupuncturist yet. I was doing ok until today. Came down with a terrible case if hypercaucsis not sure why but it's been agony. Just moving around is unbearable. Can't take another day like this!

 

[Bryanpen]

Well this new hell contiunes. First developed T about 3 months ago now. It was a high pitch ringing in my right ear. Pretty missable as you can see from previous posts. However I was actually starting to get use to it. Being able to ignore it when I was out and about. Then a direct punch to the gut. I now have had another bout of hearing mild hearing loss and it comes with a debilitating roar and extreme sound sensitivity. Low whispers cause intense strain. To make matters worst. The sound sensitivity is also in my left ear (according to the ENT this happens when the ears try to compensate to the hearing loss). Have a mri next week and I am actually hoping they find something. It's crazy to think I actually want to find a tumor in my head...that's where I am now in my life. I feel so bad for my wife and 3 small kids who have to try and whisper and basically walk on pins in needles in our house. I feel like such a burden. I honestly believe if this new situation keeps up I am going to give up. I can't believe a once active fun loving, easy going person father is at a point of deciding whether living life is worth it. Please, if anyone has had these items of symptoms share positive outcomes with me. I really believe I am not going to make it.

 

[Lorritay]

I am so sorry you are suffering so much. My ear started with one ear ringing and then after a month began in the other ear as well . I had a bad set back after beginning to cope following a extremely noisy MRI scan. The noise level in my ears went really bad again and I had a week of not sleeping at all again and trying to work. I was in hell but 3 weeks later it is settling down more and I am sleeping better. It is still there in both ears 24/7 though and I am sensitive to sounds. Watching a DVD at the intro I reacted so scared at the noise my husband thought i was having a heart attack. I found meditation oasis . com podcast site good listening to the meditations calms mehttp://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast also read this posting I found it may help you copehttps://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/the-quest-for-expensive-silence-or-the-habituation-question.9730/
Please do not give up because you have a lovely family and they need you, also I am struggling also and we need to support each other and survive like so many others going through this. Remember the help Billie 48 gives to everyone out of kindness https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/ Keep strong and good luck Lorritay

 

[Bryanpen]

Thanks Lorritay,

It's 2:20 in the morning here and I am wide awake trying not to move as it sets off my new form of T and H. I have read Billie48 success story often has it now seems to be similar to my current path. I just hope I can get to a point where he is in his life. I am now on prednisone hoping that it may help with this new development. Terrible side effects! Nice to know I can talk to someone about this. My family is being very supportive but they just don't understand what this is really like. For the past few days my kids have been so nice trying to whisper while in the house. But they are 9, 6, and 4....how long can they really stay quite! I feel like such a burden!

 

[Lorritay]

I know what it is like with children. I have a 2 yr old tantrum grandchild and I have to wear ear plugs around him cause he screeches so loud. I really do not understand why for both of us this just started and why for you it suddenly got worse. It frightens me because I am never sure that I should protect my ears from noise with ear plugs or to just go on as normal trying not to take notice of it in a noisy environment which at my work is a school. I'm scared of it going worse as yours has.Protect your ears for the MRI I thought you had already had one? The noise was unbelievable and caused my ears to go bad. Have you been near loud noise or done anything different to make them worse for you . Have you had any worse stress in your life that triggers them. I am finding that certain stressors make my ears instantly worse. Have you read the info on the site from Julian Cowan about the link of tinnitus and stress , you must read it and do the meditation oasis meditations they are good and try and get some sleep. Keep in touch Lorritay.

 

[billie48]

Thanks Lorritay,

It's 2:20 in the morning here and I am wide awake trying not to move as it sets off my new form of T and H. I have read Billie48 success story often has it now seems to be similar to my current path. I just hope I can get to a point where he is in his life. I am now on prednisone hoping that it may help with this new development. Terrible side effects! Nice to know I can talk to someone about this. My family is being very supportive but they just don't understand what this is really like. For the past few days my kids have been so nice trying to whisper while in the house. But they are 9, 6, and 4....how long can they really stay quite! I feel like such a burden!

Yes it seems you are getting the dreaded H after the onset of T like me. But don't be freaked out by H. It is tough to adjust to it but it will pass if your H is the type that will fade over time. Mine just faded within the year it started. Try to mentally prepare for the twin brother of T and just cope with it with a more accepting approach. It will go away and hopefully when your stress level is down, your T will return to a more manageable baseline. Don't feel hopeless and despair. Be patient and be positive. There is lots of good life ahead of you. You will be able to enjoy your children and grandchildren like I am now. A few years back when my T & H were new I never thought I would enjoy life again. But that is the 'bloody' lie from the T bully. I am doing just fine, living a normal and absolutely enjoyable life. Tomorrow I will be going on a two day fishing trip, and I will face silence and Mr. T, and I wouldn't give a dime to it. My brain and weak nerves couldn't do this a few years back. But now, it has hardened to the ringing. Mother time has done some healing and my positivity approach has turned the corner on T. It is doable. Believe it and don't ever quit. Just fill your mind with all the great things to expect, seeing your children graduate, marry and to have grandchildren in your arms. Don't let T rob you of the beauty of life and its rich blessings. Hang in there and stay positive. God bless.

 

[Bryanpen]

Thanks billie48. I have to say I read your posts a lot. For many reasons...1) I seem to be following a similar T and H path has you, and 2) your positive feedback is always a welcome site. Thanks for continuing to follow my thread and I hope in time to be writing the positive feelings you constantly share with the rest of us.

 

[Zorro!]

Well this new hell contiunes. First developed T about 3 months ago now. It was a high pitch ringing in my right ear. Pretty missable as you can see from previous posts. However I was actually starting to get use to it. Being able to ignore it when I was out and about. Then a direct punch to the gut. I now have had another bout of hearing mild hearing loss and it comes with a debilitating roar and extreme sound sensitivity. Low whispers cause intense strain. To make matters worst. The sound sensitivity is also in my left ear (according to the ENT this happens when the ears try to compensate to the hearing loss). Have a mri next week and I am actually hoping they find something. It's crazy to think I actually want to find a tumor in my head...that's where I am now in my life. I feel so bad for my wife and 3 small kids who have to try and whisper and basically walk on pins in needles in our house. I feel like such a burden. I honestly believe if this new situation keeps up I am going to give up. I can't believe a once active fun loving, easy going person father is at a point of deciding whether living life is worth it. Please, if anyone has had these items of symptoms share positive outcomes with me. I really believe I am not going to make it.

A couple months ago my hyperacusis was so bad that water running from the faucet hurt my ears. Closing kitchen cabinets sent shock waves through me. And the "crinkle" of a plastic water bottle in my hand was like being slapped on the ear. It seemed I couldn't go five minutes without wincing in pain from some slight sound; my heart pounding in confusion as the sharp "blade" of sound sliced through my head.

But I took the advice I read about not over-protecting my ears and I toughed it out. Slowly my sensitivity to normal sounds decreased and now it's tolerable. The H isn't gone, but it's not as bad as it was. I think learning relaxation techniques and breathing exercises really helped me get a handle on the H.

So hang in there. You can make it. Practice some relaxing breathing exercises. Learn how to meditate (and if you already know how make sure you are doing it on a regular basis). When you get a handle on your limbic system you will probably start to feel better.

 

[Bryanpen]

Thanks Zorro. It's funny because the example you gave are exactly what I am feeling. It's simply amazing normal, relatively soft sounds can attack us so much with H. What's more amazing and scary is I have no idea why this is happening. No past trauma, no exposure to loud noises, no fluid or pressure buildup in the ears. Just one random day I wake up with ringing. Now, after three months of dealing with it (and beginning to accept it), I get this onslaught of H. So now the quite moments bring on my original T and anyother time with any kind of noise brings on the H and different kind of T. I know I need to look to a positive future, but it's so hard when I I feel is one step forward and 4 steps back!

I will look into the mediation tonight. Thanks!

 

[Bryanpen]

A couple months ago my hyperacusis was so bad that water running from the faucet hurt my ears. Closing kitchen cabinets sent shock waves through me. And the "crinkle" of a plastic water bottle in my hand was like being slapped on the ear. It seemed I couldn't go five minutes without wincing in pain from some slight sound; my heart pounding in confusion as the sharp "blade" of sound sliced through my head.

But I took the advice I read about not over-protecting my ears and I toughed it out. Slowly my sensitivity to normal sounds decreased and now it's tolerable. The H isn't gone, but it's not as bad as it was. I think learning relaxation techniques and breathing exercises really helped me get a handle on the H.

So hang in there. You can make it. Practice some relaxing breathing exercises. Learn how to meditate (and if you already know how make sure you are doing it on a regular basis). When you get a handle on your limbic system you will probably start to feel better.

Curious, did you have any fullness in the ear with your H? Or any mild hearing loss?

 

[Zorro!]

Curious, did you have any fullness in the ear with your H? Or any mild hearing loss?

Both. The feeling of fullness in my ears was more irritating than the hearing loss believe it or not. I still have hearing loss (always will) but the fullness has dissipated a lot, thank God.

How are you feeling now? Any improvement?

 

[Bryanpen]

Both. The feeling of fullness in my ears was more irritating than the hearing loss believe it or not. I still have hearing loss (always will) but the fullness has dissipated a lot, thank God.

How are you feeling now? Any improvement?

Don't understand it. I just had two straight days where the H was gone. It was the first time in a long time I actually felt like myself and I thought I was getting better, only to wake up the next day right back to where I was...every little noise hurting my ears, including my own voice. It seems to go in daily cycles...bad day, even word day, bad day, bad, then one (maybe two) good days, bad day. It's like my body is just teasing me. Every time my good days go away it's a punch in the gut and the depression, anxiety, and anger come rushing back. Did you see this pattern with your H?

 

[Zorro!]

Don't understand it. I just had two straight days where the H was gone. It was the first time in a long time I actually felt like myself and I thought I was getting better, only to wake up the next day right back to where I was...every little noise hurting my ears, including my own voice. It seems to go in daily cycles...bad day, even word day, bad day, bad, then one (maybe two) good days, bad day. It's like my body is just teasing me. Every time my good days go away it's a punch in the gut and the depression, anxiety, and anger come rushing back. Did you see this pattern with your H?

No, my H went away more gradually. It did not disappear fully at any point. It very slowly lessened day by day by day.

But don't let the fact that we don't have the same pattern discourage you. You've experienced moments without H and that is a good sign in my estimation. Hopefully that will occur more and more.

Hang in there. I know it's pure hell for much of the time. Seriously -- I know it's pure hell. So don't feel you're alone in this horrible experience. I've been there with the anxiety and depression.

One thing that I think really helped was getting my limbic system under control via relaxation exercises. (Anti-anxiety meds only helped temporarily and were not a cure.) From what I understand about H it's basically our "fight or flight" system in overdrive. The anxiety, and resulting depression, are a sign of that. Doing breathing exercises to engage the para-sympathetic system (the opposite of the "fight or flight" response) helped to calm me down and helped decrease my H.

I know that's not a scientific example but it works for me. Maybe it will work for you too.