If meds don't work, I don't have any other options. I'm desperate and I keep thinking about suicide. I'm so scared. Please help.
Hi
@Lynny -- I'm sorry to hear how difficult things are for you. Regarding the meds, I would like to respectfully disagree that there are no other options. My own take is that there are an almost limitless number of other options besides drugs, most of which would be entirely benign and non--ototoxic.
If you think the citalopram is making your tinnitus worse, then I'd have to assume your assumption is correct. So it seems your decision would be pretty simple and straighforward. Give up on what's not working, and reorient your perspective(s) toward finding something FAR safer that might help you with your anxiety.
Just a few suggestions: -- 1) Acupuncture, or self- acupuncture if you can't afford professional services; 2) Various kinds of anti-anxiety supplements, such as insositol, niacin, valarian, St. John's Wort, etc.; 3) Look at making some changes to your diet that might be beneficial (I hope you're not on a low-fat diet); 4) Spend more time in nature, such as the mountains, in the forests, or by rivers (Nature heals); 5) Experiment with various kinds of calming techniques, like yoga, gi gong, etc. 6) Learn about different ways to stimulate your vagus nerve which is the body's main orchestrator of the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the brain and neurological system. Hot and cold showers or singing are to possibilities for stimulating the vagus nerve. -- There are many more lifestyle adjustments that could be very helpful.
I myself have found Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy to be extremely helpful for sleep and relaxation. If you have a chance to get inside one of these chambers, you might find it to be very helpful as well. -- The most important thing however is for you to find a way to calm yourself as well as you can. When that happens, then better decision making is the direct result, and you can likely pull yourself out of your thoughts of suicide (I've had them myself, and do believe they can be overcome).
I notice you plan on doing some EMDR soon, which is why I listed some of the "alternative" things you may want to consider. With your openess to new things, I feel confident you can make some meaningful progress with your situation. If you put on your "Sherlock Holmes" hat, I think there's a good chance you'll be able to track down the cause of your tinnitus. And you can be well on your way to recovery in a shorter amount of time than you may realize. -- BTW, my wife used to be an EMDR therapist, but has since become a Body Code practitioner, which she feels is more effective than EMDR, and can address a wider array of situations.
My heart goes out to you. You're so young, and likely have much to live for. -- In the beginning of my own tinnitus journey, I told myself I would give it two years before I came to any kind of conclusions as to whether or not it was permanent, or whether I could overcome the intensity and pain of it all. I'm a little over a year in, and things have improved a lot. And I continue to believe I can do even better. I even hold out hope the tinnitus will be completely gone by next February.
I think it takes courage to reach out for help like you've done. I don't know if what I have to offer is what you were looking for, but I think you can at least pick up that I do care. And many others on this site will care as well. You are not alone in your struggles!
All the Best...
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