Sound Annoyance and Worse Tinnitus After Out in a Loud Venue (Measured at 97 dB) for One Hour

[star-affinity]

I don't know where to start this because it feels unreal. And I blame myself 1000% for knowing better and not acting accordingly.

I have been suffering from tinnitus for about three years (well, actually longer, but the intrusive tinnitus affecting me during the day is about three years). Also, back pain for long periods of time for two years (confirmed osteoarthritis in the lower back).

These two things combined have made me rather miserable during these three years. Overall, I could usually use my ears normally, though some higher and some stronger frequencies can be a bit discomforting.

The tinnitus is annoying many times throughout the day, but in some places, and depending on what I was doing, I could forget about it quite well.

Twelve days ago, my back was feeling quite a lot better, and I guess that's what also made me happier than usual and less careful. I went out with two friends, but for some reason, I didn't think of bringing my custom-molded earplugs. I rarely go out, so it was some time ago that I thought of them. Maybe that's why. Plus, I didn't know we'd end up in such a loud place.

I've been very careful with my ears, wearing earmuffs when vacuuming, using kitchen machines, etc. But for some reason, that thinking slipped this evening.

We come into this venue with bars and tables, and two guys are playing covers with two amplified guitars. I measure the sound level on my watch and see that it's "loud". What is my reaction? I search for some napkin paper to make earplugs (sigh...). My ears felt okay, and I stayed about one hour in this (felt shorter) when I decided to say bye to my friends, thinking of my ears.

But it was too late.

When I came home, my head was noisy—I had more erratic high-pitch (cicada-like) tinnitus in the left ear and an elevated tone in my right ear. The drone in my head was also stronger.

I had some trouble sleeping but managed somewhat.

The next day, I felt horrible, but I was in denial, thinking I went on with the day, so I went swimming. No earplugs, the sounds didn't feel too intrusive, but my hearing was clearly different, which irritated me. Plastic bags and such had different (less crisp) characteristics. I guess due to some hearing loss...

So, I've made the same mistake so many others have done once everyday sounds are okay, and you start to forget about sounds in general and start feeling better.

I don't know what happens with the brain (mine, at least) in social settings such as our venue. It's as if the brain forgets about the consequences because it "wants to stay" among people having a good time, clouding judgment of the situation and consequence thinking.

I'm unbelievably sad because of this, and I've been blaming myself immensely since the onset. I keep returning to the evening and thinking how I could have done things differently. I can't sleep properly, primarily because of my remorse—the tinnitus sounds are horrible, but they are not new, even if they're a bit more intrusive.

I'm using ear defenders or my earplugs when I go out. I even use them inside since I find some sounds annoying. But I think this is mainly because I perceive them differently, and that and the (likely) associated hearing it annoys me as much as the tinnitus. So I don't think that sounds sensitive, but maybe I'm in denial again...

It's horrible not being able to hang out with my kids normally now when we have some days off.

My question is, does anyone have any advice? Do you think the sound annoyance will disappear, and how long will it take? It's horrible enough having tinnitus and some hearing loss, but I'd like to get to the point where I can use my ears without discomfort at "normal" sound levels.

P.S. Good article on the venues taking more responsibility:

→ Should nightclubs be doing more to protect your hearing?

Even with all this knowledge, I still managed to compromise my ears. I think many uninformed people don't know about the possible consequences. I think it should be a legal requirement to warn people at the entrance of a venue where the volume is loud that there can be severe consequences. And offer earplugs!

 

[AverageJoe12]

I don't know where to start this because it feels unreal. And I blame myself 1000% for knowing better and not acting accordingly.

I have been suffering from tinnitus for about three years (well, actually longer, but the intrusive tinnitus affecting me during the day is about three years). Also, back pain for long periods of time for two years (confirmed osteoarthritis in the lower back).

These two things combined have made me rather miserable during these three years. Overall, I could usually use my ears normally, though some higher and some stronger frequencies can be a bit discomforting.

The tinnitus is annoying many times throughout the day, but in some places, and depending on what I was doing, I could forget about it quite well.

Twelve days ago, my back was feeling quite a lot better, and I guess that's what also made me happier than usual and less careful. I went out with two friends, but for some reason, I didn't think of bringing my custom-molded earplugs. I rarely go out, so it was some time ago that I thought of them. Maybe that's why. Plus, I didn't know we'd end up in such a loud place.

I've been very careful with my ears, wearing earmuffs when vacuuming, using kitchen machines, etc. But for some reason, that thinking slipped this evening.

We come into this venue with bars and tables, and two guys are playing covers with two amplified guitars. I measure the sound level on my watch and see that it's "loud". What is my reaction? I search for some napkin paper to make earplugs (sigh...). My ears felt okay, and I stayed about one hour in this (felt shorter) when I decided to say bye to my friends, thinking of my ears.

But it was too late.

When I came home, my head was noisy—I had more erratic high-pitch (cicada-like) tinnitus in the left ear and an elevated tone in my right ear. The drone in my head was also stronger.

I had some trouble sleeping but managed somewhat.

The next day, I felt horrible, but I was in denial, thinking I went on with the day, so I went swimming. No earplugs, the sounds didn't feel too intrusive, but my hearing was clearly different, which irritated me. Plastic bags and such had different (less crisp) characteristics. I guess due to some hearing loss...

So, I've made the same mistake so many others have done once everyday sounds are okay, and you start to forget about sounds in general and start feeling better.

I don't know what happens with the brain (mine, at least) in social settings such as our venue. It's as if the brain forgets about the consequences because it "wants to stay" among people having a good time, clouding judgment of the situation and consequence thinking.

I'm unbelievably sad because of this, and I've been blaming myself immensely since the onset. I keep returning to the evening and thinking how I could have done things differently. I can't sleep properly, primarily because of my remorse—the tinnitus sounds are horrible, but they are not new, even if they're a bit more intrusive.

I'm using ear defenders or my earplugs when I go out. I even use them inside since I find some sounds annoying. But I think this is mainly because I perceive them differently, and that and the (likely) associated hearing it annoys me as much as the tinnitus. So I don't think that sounds sensitive, but maybe I'm in denial again...

It's horrible not being able to hang out with my kids normally now when we have some days off.

My question is, does anyone have any advice? Do you think the sound annoyance will disappear, and how long will it take? It's horrible enough having tinnitus and some hearing loss, but I'd like to get to the point where I can use my ears without discomfort at "normal" sound levels.

P.S. Good article on the venues taking more responsibility:

→ Should nightclubs be doing more to protect your hearing?

Even with all this knowledge, I still managed to compromise my ears. I think many uninformed people don't know about the possible consequences. I think it should be a legal requirement to warn people at the entrance of a venue where the volume is loud that there can be severe consequences. And offer earplugs!

I'm here for you. I damaged my hearing in a nightclub, and my life hasn't been the same since. Give yourself a little grace. You have incredible awareness, and you're learning so much about your condition and yourself. I appreciate you sharing your experience with me. You are not alone. I feel very alone and afraid for the future, but I'm just going to sleep it off, and tomorrow is a new day. Keep your chin up.

 

[star-affinity]

I'm here for you. I damaged my hearing in a nightclub, and my life hasn't been the same since. Give yourself a little grace. You have incredible awareness, and you're learning so much about your condition and yourself. I appreciate you sharing your experience with me. You are not alone. I feel very alone and afraid for the future, but I'm just going to sleep it off, and tomorrow is a new day. Keep your chin up.

Such a kind message. Thank you for taking the time to write it.

I'm really struggling right now. I've been dealing with intrusive tinnitus for three years and back pain for two years. The back pain is manageable now, but the tinnitus is still a constant struggle. I recently made a mistake that has made things even worse. I can't even sit with my son and watch TV because the sounds are too much for me to handle. I went to get him an ice cream, and all the noises in the store were overwhelming. I've been wearing earplugs at home and it seems like even the ambient sounds are too loud for me now. I was starting to feel better, and now this setback has been really tough to deal with.

How do you cope with situations like this?

Also, I've been playing drums since I was 15, but always with earplugs. I think it's still taken a toll on my hearing. I used to have great hearing, but now I've noticed a loss in high frequencies in my left ear. It's really disheartening.

 

[Vezzy]

@star-affinity, I'm very sorry to hear this. I wanted to know how your ear fullness and pressure are now?

 

[matt89]

Don't be sad, as this spreads negativity, and the nightmare you're already experiencing becomes like a permanent vampire that drains the last bit of energy on your long road to recovery. I'm in the same boat as you. I had an acoustic trauma back in 2016, and I made a mistake two months ago by not bringing earplugs to a friend's wedding party. I was enjoying myself when suddenly, the volume on the dance floor shot up to very uncomfortable levels (120 dB+). I thought I would be fine since I spent most of the time far from the speakers. By the time my brain sent me the first warning, it was already too late (no alcohol involved). On my way home, I could barely hear and knew something was wrong. Two days later, I experienced the full range of acoustic trauma symptoms: hyperacusis, ear fullness, muffled hearing, and sometimes pulsating tinnitus.

What I recommend you do:

• First, get a hearing test at an ENT before assuming you have hearing loss. I didn't see anywhere that you had an audiogram. Also, take a speech-in-noise test to rule out hidden hearing loss.
  
  
• You should take Magnesium, Ginkgo Biloba, Coenzyme Q10, and a Vitamin B complex to support your recovery.
  
  
• Start training your ears. Listen to pink noise through speakers for 30 minutes each day, and play your favorite music at a low volume for 30 minutes daily. I've been doing this for a few weeks now. Ears need training within a week after damage occurs, but do it carefully. People with damaged ears tend to raise the volume too quickly because their perception is disoriented. Keep the volume at a comfortable level (not too low). After a week, increase the volume slightly. Your brain needs to relearn that sound—especially louder, moderate-volume sounds—is not something to fear. It doesn't happen overnight, but listening to your favorite music for 30 minutes a day can activate serotonin, which helps your brain associate sound with something positive again.

In my case, the volume on the dance floor was over 120 dB at times. I can tell you, the first few weeks afterward, everything sounded different to me. Now, nine weeks later, I think I'm making some progress, but I still feel constant pressure/fullness in both ears, which drives me crazy, especially in the evenings.

Hang in there—you are not alone. Don't blame yourself. Life is challenging at times, and these challenges shape us. We grow from them, and in the end, we become stronger individuals, both mentally and emotionally.

 

[star-affinity]

@star-affinity, I'm very sorry to hear this. I wanted to know how your ear fullness and pressure are now?

Don't be sad, as this spreads negativity, and the nightmare you're already experiencing becomes like a permanent vampire that drains the last bit of energy on your long road to recovery. I'm in the same boat as you. I had an acoustic trauma back in 2016, and I made a mistake two months ago by not bringing earplugs to a friend's wedding party. I was enjoying myself when suddenly, the volume on the dance floor shot up to very uncomfortable levels (120 dB+). I thought I would be fine since I spent most of the time far from the speakers. By the time my brain sent me the first warning, it was already too late (no alcohol involved). On my way home, I could barely hear and knew something was wrong. Two days later, I experienced the full range of acoustic trauma symptoms: hyperacusis, ear fullness, muffled hearing, and sometimes pulsating tinnitus.

What I recommend you do:

• First, get a hearing test at an ENT before assuming you have hearing loss. I didn't see anywhere that you had an audiogram. Also, take a speech-in-noise test to rule out hidden hearing loss.
  
  
• You should take Magnesium, Ginkgo Biloba, Coenzyme Q10, and a Vitamin B complex to support your recovery.
  
  
• Start training your ears. Listen to pink noise through speakers for 30 minutes each day, and play your favorite music at a low volume for 30 minutes daily. I've been doing this for a few weeks now. Ears need training within a week after damage occurs, but do it carefully. People with damaged ears tend to raise the volume too quickly because their perception is disoriented. Keep the volume at a comfortable level (not too low). After a week, increase the volume slightly. Your brain needs to relearn that sound—especially louder, moderate-volume sounds—is not something to fear. It doesn't happen overnight, but listening to your favorite music for 30 minutes a day can activate serotonin, which helps your brain associate sound with something positive again.

In my case, the volume on the dance floor was over 120 dB at times. I can tell you, the first few weeks afterward, everything sounded different to me. Now, nine weeks later, I think I'm making some progress, but I still feel constant pressure/fullness in both ears, which drives me crazy, especially in the evenings.

Hang in there—you are not alone. Don't blame yourself. Life is challenging at times, and these challenges shape us. We grow from them, and in the end, we become stronger individuals, both mentally and emotionally.

Thank you so much for asking how I feel, @Vezzy. I've improved a bit since May (took about two months), but I still experience occasional fullness and pain. The sensitivity to sound is better, but not great—I still need earmuffs just to do the dishes.

@matt89, I'm sorry to hear about your incident. It's nice to know you're improving.

It's a bit ironic that both of you posted your messages just after I experienced a new trauma or setback this past week.

And it's all my fault. I did something similar to what I've done before. Again! How is that even possible? I don't know. We're supposed to learn from our mistakes, but clearly, I can't, no matter what. I don't even know what to say anymore. It's beyond embarrassing.

Even though I'm in the process of recovering from the noise trauma I had in April, I still managed to take a risk and expose myself to loud noise—probably because the urge to socialize and not feel left out was too strong.

While I've improved, I haven't felt great since the April incident. I noticed some improvement in sound tolerance and less muffled hearing after about two months, but the first month was rough, especially with sound sensitivity. One thing I noticed this summer is a worsening in my high-pitched hearing. For example, I can't hear the grasshoppers as well with my left ear, which is the ear with the high-pitched, grasshopper-like tinnitus. My right ear hears them just fine.

After those first two months, even though normal speech was okay, any increase in volume—like someone laughing loudly—would cause some ache and discomfort in my left ear. Since then, I've continued to feel fullness, a crawling sensation, and occasional slight burning or pain in both ears. I still feel the need to use ear muffs when dealing with loud sounds, like when doing dishes in the kitchen.

Now, back to the recent trauma (as unbelievable as it seems).

Once again, I found myself in a social situation that clouded my judgment. It's strange that I can be so careful and considerate most of the time, but when others around me are happy, my concern for noise seems to disappear, even though I deal with ear problems all day long.

Here's what happened:

I was out with my coworkers last Thursday. It was a nice evening, and we went to a place that serves great pizza. I was seated in a pretty open space, but I ended up in a corner—probably the worst spot for sound exposure:

As people started talking loudly, I noticed the volume increasing, so I put in my custom-molded earplugs. However, I made a mistake: I angled the plugs to let in more sound so I could hear people better. Not very wise. I would put the plugs in properly again, but soon enough, I'd adjust them to hear someone else. This was a poor use of earplugs in a loud environment, especially since I'm still recovering from a four-month-old trauma.

What's frustrating is that my colleague, who knew about my ear problems, even asked, "How are your ears in this situation?" And I just said, "I have my earplugs, so it's fine." Why didn't I react? Why didn't I think about my situation? Why didn't I check the dB meter on my watch, which I had with me? But no... I convinced myself that I was fine.

The thing is, I actually did feel okay when I left. My ears were ringing, and I had some fullness and sensations, but nothing worse than usual. I went home, slept, and even on Friday at work, I didn't notice any worsening. The weekend was fine, and I wasn't exposed to any loud sounds. I did some vacuuming but wore earmuffs.

It wasn't until early Monday morning this week that I woke up to louder-than-usual tinnitus in my left ear and noticed a slight change in my hearing. Then, when my daughter sneezed, I realized the sound was a bit distorted. I slept poorly that night, as my mind slipped back into the regret and despair I felt during my spring trauma. But I also feel somewhat numb from all the ear problems now, so I managed to sleep better the next night. Interestingly, the tinnitus has actually been quieter over the last few days.

I don't have any sound exposure statistics from that night since my watch was in Low Power Mode. Maybe it's a good thing because knowing the dB levels would have probably just increased my anxiety.

I don't know if I can recover from this or even forgive myself. Tinnitus and hyperacusis are horrible, but the distortions are yet another layer of difficulty. It really makes me think about my hearing issues, especially since they get triggered so easily—sometimes just by my own voice if I speak louder than usual or if others raise their voices.

I'm so disappointed in myself.

I'm also disappointed that the inner ear doesn't heal better than it does, and that there's no medication for hearing issues yet. The ear is a complex organ, but it's also vital to life. You'd think the body would have a better capacity to repair damage in such an important area.

I know there are people who are deaf and live fulfilling lives, and that's wonderful. But if you've had your hearing and then lose it, I think everyone would wish to have it restored.

It seems like the Susan Shore Device is promising for tinnitus, and maybe even hyperacusis, but for distortions like mine, it likely requires hair cell and/or synapse regeneration.

I don't know how to handle these distortions. I don't feel that my hyperacusis is worse than before, but I'm still scared of triggering the distortions and potentially causing more damage. The strange thing is that I don't feel pain when the distortions are triggered—it's just that the sounds get distorted. I used to feel a little pain or discomfort in my left ear when someone spoke near me or laughed, but maybe that has now turned into distortions.

Sigh...

Here's to another attempt at recovery. Hopefully, with time, things will improve. And fewer mistakes this time, please!

 

[matt89]

Thank you so much for asking how I feel, @Vezzy. I've improved a bit since May (took about two months), but I still experience occasional fullness and pain. The sensitivity to sound is better, but not great—I still need earmuffs just to do the dishes.

@matt89, I'm sorry to hear about your incident. It's nice to know you're improving.

It's a bit ironic that both of you posted your messages just after I experienced a new trauma or setback this past week.

And it's all my fault. I did something similar to what I've done before. Again! How is that even possible? I don't know. We're supposed to learn from our mistakes, but clearly, I can't, no matter what. I don't even know what to say anymore. It's beyond embarrassing.

Even though I'm in the process of recovering from the noise trauma I had in April, I still managed to take a risk and expose myself to loud noise—probably because the urge to socialize and not feel left out was too strong.

While I've improved, I haven't felt great since the April incident. I noticed some improvement in sound tolerance and less muffled hearing after about two months, but the first month was rough, especially with sound sensitivity. One thing I noticed this summer is a worsening in my high-pitched hearing. For example, I can't hear the grasshoppers as well with my left ear, which is the ear with the high-pitched, grasshopper-like tinnitus. My right ear hears them just fine.

After those first two months, even though normal speech was okay, any increase in volume—like someone laughing loudly—would cause some ache and discomfort in my left ear. Since then, I've continued to feel fullness, a crawling sensation, and occasional slight burning or pain in both ears. I still feel the need to use ear muffs when dealing with loud sounds, like when doing dishes in the kitchen.

Now, back to the recent trauma (as unbelievable as it seems).

Once again, I found myself in a social situation that clouded my judgment. It's strange that I can be so careful and considerate most of the time, but when others around me are happy, my concern for noise seems to disappear, even though I deal with ear problems all day long.

Here's what happened:

I was out with my coworkers last Thursday. It was a nice evening, and we went to a place that serves great pizza. I was seated in a pretty open space, but I ended up in a corner—probably the worst spot for sound exposure:

View attachment 57221

As people started talking loudly, I noticed the volume increasing, so I put in my custom-molded earplugs. However, I made a mistake: I angled the plugs to let in more sound so I could hear people better. Not very wise. I would put the plugs in properly again, but soon enough, I'd adjust them to hear someone else. This was a poor use of earplugs in a loud environment, especially since I'm still recovering from a four-month-old trauma.

What's frustrating is that my colleague, who knew about my ear problems, even asked, "How are your ears in this situation?" And I just said, "I have my earplugs, so it's fine." Why didn't I react? Why didn't I think about my situation? Why didn't I check the dB meter on my watch, which I had with me? But no... I convinced myself that I was fine.

The thing is, I actually did feel okay when I left. My ears were ringing, and I had some fullness and sensations, but nothing worse than usual. I went home, slept, and even on Friday at work, I didn't notice any worsening. The weekend was fine, and I wasn't exposed to any loud sounds. I did some vacuuming but wore earmuffs.

It wasn't until early Monday morning this week that I woke up to louder-than-usual tinnitus in my left ear and noticed a slight change in my hearing. Then, when my daughter sneezed, I realized the sound was a bit distorted. I slept poorly that night, as my mind slipped back into the regret and despair I felt during my spring trauma. But I also feel somewhat numb from all the ear problems now, so I managed to sleep better the next night. Interestingly, the tinnitus has actually been quieter over the last few days.

I don't have any sound exposure statistics from that night since my watch was in Low Power Mode. Maybe it's a good thing because knowing the dB levels would have probably just increased my anxiety.

I don't know if I can recover from this or even forgive myself. Tinnitus and hyperacusis are horrible, but the distortions are yet another layer of difficulty. It really makes me think about my hearing issues, especially since they get triggered so easily—sometimes just by my own voice if I speak louder than usual or if others raise their voices.

I'm so disappointed in myself.

I'm also disappointed that the inner ear doesn't heal better than it does, and that there's no medication for hearing issues yet. The ear is a complex organ, but it's also vital to life. You'd think the body would have a better capacity to repair damage in such an important area.

I know there are people who are deaf and live fulfilling lives, and that's wonderful. But if you've had your hearing and then lose it, I think everyone would wish to have it restored.

It seems like the Susan Shore Device is promising for tinnitus, and maybe even hyperacusis, but for distortions like mine, it likely requires hair cell and/or synapse regeneration.

I don't know how to handle these distortions. I don't feel that my hyperacusis is worse than before, but I'm still scared of triggering the distortions and potentially causing more damage. The strange thing is that I don't feel pain when the distortions are triggered—it's just that the sounds get distorted. I used to feel a little pain or discomfort in my left ear when someone spoke near me or laughed, but maybe that has now turned into distortions.

Sigh...

Here's to another attempt at recovery. Hopefully, with time, things will improve. And fewer mistakes this time, please!

What you experienced is not a second acoustic trauma, but it is something that could cause a setback. Only four months have passed since your trauma in April. If it's really important, you can go to louder venues, like crowded restaurants, but make sure to use better earplugs that block more decibels while still allowing you to understand conversations with people nearby.

Be more cautious moving forward.

 

[MindOverMatter]

This happened to me too, @star-affinity, about 3 months ago. It took me about a month to recover from that spike. There was even a DJ playing loud music in the restaurant. I had custom earplugs in for most of the time, but not for the first 15 minutes or so, as they're hard to use during conversations. I left the venue about an hour later.

I usually don't wear earplugs in restaurants, but then again, there typically aren't DJs playing loud music at the ones I go to.

Luckily, I was far from the speakers.

Anyway, my point is that you'll manage this and get through it. Think of it as a spike, not a permanent setback.

 

[star-affinity]

Thank you so much for your support. According to my research, it's most likely that the hair cells in the cochlea are damaged if you're experiencing hearing distortions. Unfortunately, fixing this would require hair cell regeneration, which is still 10-20 years away.

At least I can hopefully look forward to a retirement free of hearing issues. Until then, though, my quality of life is certainly lower.

It feels like a cruel joke. I wanted to start focusing more on music production four years ago, but that's exactly when my hearing problems began. In three steps, I've made my hearing progressively worse. Three! Maybe I can forgive myself for the first one, as it involved listening at low volume (music during sleep, phone on speaker), but even before that, my ear had warned me with a sense of fullness, and I didn't take a break from sound.

Then, three years later, I made things worse again by attending a loud venue with live music. But the strangest part is what happened recently, just four months after that event. I'm baffled. I check the dB meter in quieter environments, but when it really mattered, I didn't use it. Worse, I didn't even use my earplugs properly. It's crazy—and too close to my previous mistake to be forgivable or even understandable.

 

[ColinUK]

Thank you so much for your support. According to my research, it's most likely that the hair cells in the cochlea are damaged if you're experiencing hearing distortions. Unfortunately, fixing this would require hair cell regeneration, which is still 10-20 years away.

At least I can hopefully look forward to a retirement free of hearing issues. Until then, though, my quality of life is certainly lower.

It feels like a cruel joke. I wanted to start focusing more on music production four years ago, but that's exactly when my hearing problems began. In three steps, I've made my hearing progressively worse. Three! Maybe I can forgive myself for the first one, as it involved listening at low volume (music during sleep, phone on speaker), but even before that, my ear had warned me with a sense of fullness, and I didn't take a break from sound.

Then, three years later, I made things worse again by attending a loud venue with live music. But the strangest part is what happened recently, just four months after that event. I'm baffled. I check the dB meter in quieter environments, but when it really mattered, I didn't use it. Worse, I didn't even use my earplugs properly. It's crazy—and too close to my previous mistake to be forgivable or even understandable.

Try not to blame yourself too much. I had a setback recently, which resulted in me taking seven weeks off work. My "crime"? Going to a pub with friends, even though I had my earplugs in.

This condition is so hard to live with and manage. You do things that everyone else around you does, but for you, the consequences can be life altering.

I have a young daughter, and I often have to go to places where I'm exposed to louder noises than I'd like. I wear earplugs and hope for the best, but what else can I do?

Just the other day, I was picking my daughter up from school, and all her friends were squealing. There I was, a grown man, wanting to run away and cry because some little girls were playing.

I go to places where families and babies are, and I'm terrified, even with earplugs, about what might happen to me while everyone else is just having fun.

I think the worst part is the guilt and the self-blame over every little thing. But you have to try to be kind to yourself. The world is a noisy place, and we have to somehow figure out how to manage this condition that no one seems to understand. It is crazy that my life is now completely dominated by my ears.

All we can do is our best to manage and live, hoping that there's help somewhere down the line. It is hard enough without beating ourselves up. If you heard someone else suffering from this, I am sure you would be compassionate and not blame them. We just need to show ourselves that same compassion.