Still Recovering from the MRI

[Ed209]

I thought I'd post an update to say I haven't been doing too good the last 5 days. In fact, that's an understatement. I completely lost it on Thursday and had a bit of a breakdown. All the same emotions from 3 years ago came flooding back. It was really intense. What started it off was hearing a new tone in my left ear during the night. I was full of regret wishing I'd pushed the button to get out instead of lying in there for 20 minutes.

I will point out I've had an MRI before, but this one in particular seemed to be off the scale in terms of loudness. I had double protection but it felt like I had nothing. I know a thing or two about noise and this to me, at the time, felt louder than a rock concert on the front row. I managed to calm myself down and the huge spike calmed down with it. At the moment I'm back in the 'checking' and 'monitoring' stage and trying to break myself back out of it. Yesterday was much better.

What breaks my heart more than anything is that I was 100% habituated. I didn't care about the noise at all. Now I care again and that's the problem. Because I care I'm struggling to divert my attention but I won't let it beat me and as of today I'm back following my own advice. I need to leave the forum again and take a break. Me and the wife are thinking of dropping everything and just going to Wales for a week. My emotional state was severely low, but thankfully yesterday I had a sudden surge of strength that has pulled me up a bit.

I will say don't let this put you off MRIs. I'm convinced the ones in mobile units (trailers) are inherently louder if doubled with an already loud machine. The last one I had was in the hospital and was much quieter. I've gotta now try and forgive myself for not pulling the trigger to get out. Please do NOT misconstrue this to mean you should protect against everyday noise. You DO NOT. This was LOUD (had a small steel enclosure and no acoustic dampening), and under any other circumstances I would have run a mile, but I needed to have it done because my shoulder is in a bad way. The Vibrations gave me a huge headache.

Hopefully, it's my over reaction and things will calm down. This is exactly what happens on a regular basis for many posters over noises that really are non threatening, but they face the same anxious reaction nonetheless. I haven't felt this bad since the time I first got it but I'm slowly coming to terms with what happened. Thanks for being an outlet TT, and please if you're a newcomer, DON'T let this panic you. Nothing has bothered me like this has, and the new tone in my left ear is either fluid behind my eardrum or I've taken further damage.

 

[Dij111]

I know your case is different(as this was MRI for shoulder), but it really makes me wonder why doctors subject patients who obviously know their T was caused by noise to an MRI.

I have one myself in 2 months, I will probably put it off as I see no reason to do it, will just cause more distress.

I hope you will feel better and your spike will calm down.

 

[Ed209]

I know your case is different(as this was MRI for shoulder), but it really makes me wonder why doctors subject patients who obviously know their T was caused by noise to an MRI.

I have one myself in 2 months, I will probably put it off as I see no reason to do it, will just cause more distress.

I hope you will feel better and your spike will calm down.

Yea it's annoying. I even asked what the maximum noise was on the machine to understand if the protection was capable to protect me but they nonchalantly shrugged their shoulders and said 'we have no idea'. The other problem is the earmuffs they provide were terrible. They were basically ordinary headphones and very light weight with no grip to the head. They were very loose fitting. When I got out I refused to do the other shoulder and asked again how loud it was and the woman said 'I'm not sure, maybe 95 decibels.' This is like an insult because I know it was nowhere near that quiet.

I told them before I got in they I had problems with my ears, so they knew. I always check drug ototoxicity as well because I had to have a steroid injected into my shoulder. The I asked the Dr at the time about ototoxicity, and did a google check myself on the two drugs that they mix together, and they were fine so I had the injection. I am always precautious, and yet they still stuck me in that monstrousity of a machine outside the hospital.

 

[Elfin]

@Ed209 great, clear post. Thinking of you, pal and hoping you get better and get back to normal soon.

You are a great source of strength, rationality and positivity to us guys on here; and you deserve the same support and kindness in return.

Wishing you and your family a good trip in Wales! I can recommend the Barmouth coastline for long beach strolls, if that's your thing!

 

[Ed209]

@Ed209 great, clear post. Thinking of you, pal and hoping you get better and get back to normal soon.

You are a great source of strength, rationality and positivity to us guys on here; and you deserve the same support and kindness in return.

Wishing you and your family a good trip in Wales! I can recommend the Barmouth coastline for long beach strolls, if that's your thing!

Been to Barmouth many times elfin. I love the drive there more than anything. My wife's mom and dad have a static caravan near lake Vrynwy and we often go there and take in the views.

Hope you're well elfin. Don't let my story scare you bud because it's just an unlucky situation altogether really. You suffer more of a general phonophobia problem and will be fine if you don't regularly invoke the panic response. The hard part is becoming rational again around sound.

 

[SugarMagnolia]

Hi Ed. Your posts at TT have been helpful to me as I daily ask the question: Was that too loud or is it just my anxiety? And I appreciate how you're still looking out for all of us even as you're experiencing your own anxiety.

I hope you haven't had any damage and your trip helps to reduce your anxiety.

 

[fishbone]

I thought I'd post an update to say I haven't been doing too good the last 5 days. In fact, that's an understatement. I completely lost it on Thursday and had a bit of a breakdown. All the same emotions from 3 years ago came flooding back. It was really intense. What started it off was hearing a new tone in my left ear during the night. I was full of regret wishing I'd pushed the button to get out instead of lying in there for 20 minutes.

I will point out I've had an MRI before, but this one in particular seemed to be off the scale in terms of loudness. I had double protection but it felt like I had nothing. I know a thing or two about noise and this to me, at the time, felt louder than a rock concert on the front row. I managed to calm myself down and the huge spike calmed down with it. At the moment I'm back in the 'checking' and 'monitoring' stage and trying to break myself back out of it. Yesterday was much better.

What breaks my heart more than anything is that I was 100% habituated. I didn't care about the noise at all. Now I care again and that's the problem. Because I care I'm struggling to divert my attention but I won't let it beat me and as of today I'm back following my own advice. I need to leave the forum again and take a break. Me and the wife are thinking of dropping everything and just going to Wales for a week. My emotional state was severely low, but thankfully yesterday I had a sudden surge of strength that has pulled me up a bit.

I will say don't let this put you off MRIs. I'm convinced the ones in mobile units (trailers) are inherently louder if doubled with an already loud machine. The last one I had was in the hospital and was much quieter. I've gotta now try and forgive myself for not pulling the trigger to get out. Please do NOT misconstrue this to mean you should protect against everyday noise. You DO NOT. This was LOUD (had a small steel enclosure and no acoustic dampening), and under any other circumstances I would have run a mile, but I needed to have it done because my shoulder is in a bad way. The Vibrations gave me a huge headache.

Hopefully, it's my over reaction and things will calm down. This is exactly what happens on a regular basis for many posters over noises that really are non threatening, but they face the same anxious reaction nonetheless. I haven't felt this bad since the time I first got it but I'm slowly coming to terms with what happened. Thanks for being an outlet TT, and please if you're a newcomer, DON'T let this panic you. Nothing has bothered me like this has, and the new tone in my left ear is either fluid behind my eardrum or I've taken further damage.

Great post Ed, hope things settle down for you. Taking a little vacation is always a good thing. Keep up the positivity and let us know how you are feeling

 

[Tinker Bell]

Thank you for updating us. The more you share, the more horrified I am by the poor quality of the MRI you received. I have never heard of an MRI being conducted in a trailer and with such lousy earmuffs. Honestly, I think those sound conditions would be unsafe for anyone regardless of whether they had hearing damage.

You did nothing wrong. You were knowledgeable. You asked questions. You did what patients do countless times every day, you relied on medical professionals to know their equipment and its capabilities. It's easier said than done, but please feel no guilt for this.

Hope you can take some time with your family to relax and enjoy one another's company. Wishing you health!

 

[Ed209]

Thank you for updating us. The more you share, the more horrified I am by the poor quality of the MRI you received. I have never heard of an MRI being conducted in a trailer and with such lousy earmuffs. Honestly, I think those sound conditions would be unsafe for anyone regardless of whether they had hearing damage.

You did nothing wrong. You were knowledgeable. You asked questions. You did what patients do countless times every day, you relied on medical professionals to know their equipment and its capabilities. It's easier said than done, but please feel no guilt for this.

Hope you can take some time with your family to relax and enjoy one another's company. Wishing you health!

The earmuffs were awful. They literally were just listening headphones. This is exactly why I looked for my own but couldn't find any in this country without metal.

 

[Michael Leigh]

@Ed209

Sorry to hear of your circumstances Ed and hope things calm down for you soon. When a setback to habituation arises, I think you are doing the right thing by taking a break from this forum.

Best of luck and take care.
Michael

 

[Jazzer]

@Ed209 - I am so sorry Ed.
A horrible incident and an awful worry.
With the burden we already carry these things are truly devastating.
I had to have an MRI about ten years ago, for an irregular heart beat, at that time.
I went to The Heart Hospital in London.
I asked how long I would be in the machine.
They told me, about half an hour, as they literally had to watch my heart activity.
I was in that thing from 2:15 to 4:15pm.
As I have long practiced meditation, I was able to put myself right out, to avoid claustrophobia.
I put the scan time down to the fact that it was a training hospital, and several voices spoke to me, plus, with my ability to cope, they'd got the perfect guinea pig.
It worked against me.

I so hope you feel better soon Ed, and if you must leave for a bit, you come back to us when things improve.
Thoughts and best wishes,
Dave x

 

[glynis]

Hi @Ed209,
Sorry to hear your going through a rough time since your MRI.
my thoughts and love are with you while you take a break from the forum but PM me anytime.
Good luck
love glynis

 

[Julien87]

Good idea to spend some time away. Focus on your wellbeing. Hopefully this event will not affect your T permanently, or very little.
Can't wait to see you come back stronger than ever
Take care of you

 

[IreneO]

@Ed209 I could have written the exact same post three months ago - similar MRI experience in December and it really knocked me back. Like you, I cursed myself for grinning and bearing it rather than hitting the button (@Jazzer I thought the exact same thing as you re. being sabotaged by my ability to cope with the noise) ... Thankfully those feelings have passed and although I most likely took some damage I'm rehabituating in a way I wasn't sure I'd be able to. You will too. Your consistently positive and kind presence on this forum is much appreciated and we wish you all the best!

 

[PaulBe]

What breaks my heart more than anything is that I was 100% habituated.

You know Ed I think that habituation is an observation we can make that is relevant for our circumstances at a given time, but like all chronic conditions, a change in circumstance can bring on a remission of symptoms, including psychological, reactive symptoms. The memories of any trauma can linger close to the surface no matter how well we get into a groove of coping with everyday life. One reminder can re-open the door.

 

[Greg Sacramento]

I hope you feel better soon. It hard for us to find headphones that are suitable for MRI use and often techs insist that we use the ones that they provide. The machines are still loud where I worked, a trauma 1. It's the same with many other large hospitals and radiology centers within many miles. Software changes are not always made on the older expensive machines. If we are able to ask questions before hand, we can get questionable responses. It best to call the hospital Quality Insurance Officer beforehand. Sometimes that can't be done on weekends or when an emergency rises.

I and others have posted the negatives of the many issues within medical and dental care for those with tinnitus. I have given lists of things to demand with care. I carry a list of extremely toxic drugs along with those that are safe or rather safe in my wallet. My wife has these lists in her purse. Tinnitus 'Awareness' should start in hospitals and schools and should be better monitored within entertainment settings.

I will be thinking about you.

 

[Ed209]

You know Ed I think that habituation is an observation we can make that is relevant for our circumstances at a given time, but like all chronic conditions, a change in circumstance can bring on a remission of symptoms, including psychological, reactive symptoms. The memories of any trauma can linger close to the surface no matter how well we get into a groove of coping with everyday life. One reminder can re-open the door.

You're right paulbe, the same thing happened last year with my chest. It was incredibly difficult re-living the trauma that was long buried within me. Right now I'm spiking real bad and in a bit of a downward spiral again. You're one tough cookie as I know you're going through some stuff right now so I hope all is well with you.

 

[Starthrower]

Oh no....Ed you have given a lot here to so many people. Sometimes a break is needed to regroup and rest.

Just wanted to give you a hug.

Same thing happened to me also (not because of an MRI) after years of being okay. But, after about a month I felt normalish again. If we can ever really feel normal.

The memories of any trauma can linger close to the surface no matter how well we get into a groove of coping with everyday life. One reminder can re-open the door.

Yep. Somewhere Jazzer wrote a funny line about one door closing and another slamming in your face. It made me laugh. Because this does happen and then we just run for the windows. There is always recovery and hope and reminds us how the new tinnitus people feel.

 

[Tempest]

I hope you gonna feel better...

Though I admit that it's really hard to see that even the strong ones are brought to their knees by this. In the end, we are suffering, no matter how you look at it.

 

[Red]

My main take away here is to never trust doctors will know ANYTHING about tinnitus.. Even if they claim they do. I probably need another MRI soon for my mid to lower back but if it means going into the same one I did last time then I'm going to hold off. I remember being in absolute agony even when my tinnitus and hyperacusis were still mild/negligible. I felt more comfortable in an arcade than in one of those things.

I have been in a quiet MRI before and it was very nice. I just doubt my insurance will cover it. The quiet MRIs should be standard. Makes me feel the world could use some better tinnitus awareness.

 

[Ed209]

I hope you gonna feel better...

Though I admit that it's really hard to see that even the strong ones are brought to their knees by this. In the end, we are suffering, no matter how you look at it.

This MRI was somewhat of an anomaly. It's not going to happen in everyday life and is an extremely annoying freak accident that medics should be more cautious about.

 

[Red]

This MRI was somewhat of an anomaly. It's not going to happen in everyday life and is an extremely annoying freak accident that medics should be more cautious about.

Would you say this MRI is unlike past MRIs you've had? Do you feel like… Because it was in a smaller space like a trailer that it amplified the noise?

 

[Ed209]

Would you say this MRI is unlike past MRIs you've had? Do you feel like… Because it was in a smaller space like a trailer that it amplified the noise?

I know the other MRI was nothing like the one I had the other day because if it was it would have left a lasting memory. This time it was like I could feel the vibrations it was incredibly unpleasant. Every sequence was a bad one there were no quiet ones.

 

[Amv]

Ed, take a course of 2-3 days of NAC, i'm pretty sure this will just be a spike, believe me! Please let us know how you evolve but I am 100% confident it is just a spike.

 

[Ed209]

Ed, take a course of 2-3 days of NAC, i'm pretty sure this will just be a spike, believe me! Please let us know how you evolve but I am 100% confident it is just a spike.

I'm already on NAC. I was before the scan and still am. I honestly think I'm working up the stress levels to intense levels and making my situation worse. There is the objective 'new sound' which is what threw me into overdrive; into a state of fight or flight. This only makes my situation worse and I know this. I'm trying to tell my CNS but the stupid thing is having non of it. It's just one of those things and I feel terrible again. A lot of it is the guilt of not getting out; it's eating me up.

 

[Sam Bridge]

@Ed209 Hi Ed , was the MRI in a mobile unit outside of an NHS hospital? If so I had one in a unit like that when I was referred by my GP for tinnitus. If I remember correctly they didn't even give me any ear muffs, just foam plugs which I wasn't too happy about but I think they managed to protect adequately as no spike occured.

 

[Amv]

I am more than 100% confident this will just be a spike Ed. I understand your situation but I can assure that it will be just a spike. For the new sounds, i believe it has nothing to do for the sound level but because of the radiation, and this will be gone, believe me !!!!

 

[Ed209]

@Ed209 Hi Ed , was the MRI in a mobile unit outside of an NHS hospital? If so I had one in a unit like that when I was referred by my GP for tinnitus. If I remember correctly they didn't even give me any ear muffs, just foam plugs which I wasn't too happy about but I think they managed to protect adequately as no spike occured.

Yea Sam, mobile unit.

 

[Ed209]

I am more than 100% confident this will just be a spike Ed. I understand your situation but I can assure that it will be just a spike. For the new sounds, i believe it has nothing to do for the sound level but because of the radiation, and this will be gone, believe me !!!!

I hope so. I find myself in a chicken and egg situation. Did the MRI create more damage or did my reaction do that for me. It's a tough one with this condition. That's by far the loudest situation I've been in since the gig that caused it in the first place and somewhere my brain is screaming at me saying this is dangerous get out, but I didn't.

 

[Amv]

Absolutely Ed, I believe it is not because of the sounds but the radiation, stress and anxiety. Also you had steroids injected, which in the short term can give spikes (nothing to worry about that). You have done everything , taken NAC, take an MRI which is good for your health, protected your ears. Believe this will be off, just give it time !!