MemberReally curious if others experienced similar, but for me it's been over 18months and I'm still struggling. Both with the regret as with the sound.
I suffered tinnitus since a short but loud exposure to sound, while already having ear infection and had a long flight the day after. When I came back after a exhausting week, I collapsed, had a severe burnout (which basically was already years in the making) and still had the loud beep. Got prednisone that week and got on some valium. To this day, I regular use valium to keep calm. Got depressed, lost my girlfriend and can't seem to forgive myself for not better protecting myself.
My right side I have a high pitched peep, which I can ignore (very distant noise), but on my left side, I have a hearing loss on 4KHZ (50DB) and a loud peep which I can't just overcome. I was exposed to a sound of somebody sawing next to me (approx. 30seconds, 125Db) which I assume caused it all. Though, two weeks prior I already suddenly lost my hearing (for about 80%, with everything sounding distant and muffled), but it seemed to have recovered the next day (I went to bed and felt fine next day, so didn't think much of it).
The main thing is, I'm 18months down the road, and don't feel it is getting better. The sound remains the same and bothers the shit out of me. It blocks me from recovering from my burnout. I'm a control freak and a perfectionist, which does not help. Have tried EMDR, etc., but things aren't helping much it seems. Valium seems to be my only friend.
I think the most regret comes from not protecting myself better. How do you guys cope with the regret (and the hearing loss?) I have a hearing aid providing a masker giving some relief. My hearing still is relatively OK (hearing loss runs in the family, so I'm much better of than some of my relatives), but still the regret drives me insane, as well as the thought of missing out on some sounds. Are there people in similar situations, and how did you overcome the regret and self-guilt and accepted the loss?
I suffered tinnitus since a short but loud exposure to sound, while already having ear infection and had a long flight the day after. When I came back after a exhausting week, I collapsed, had a severe burnout (which basically was already years in the making) and still had the loud beep. Got prednisone that week and got on some valium. To this day, I regular use valium to keep calm. Got depressed, lost my girlfriend and can't seem to forgive myself for not better protecting myself.
My right side I have a high pitched peep, which I can ignore (very distant noise), but on my left side, I have a hearing loss on 4KHZ (50DB) and a loud peep which I can't just overcome. I was exposed to a sound of somebody sawing next to me (approx. 30seconds, 125Db) which I assume caused it all. Though, two weeks prior I already suddenly lost my hearing (for about 80%, with everything sounding distant and muffled), but it seemed to have recovered the next day (I went to bed and felt fine next day, so didn't think much of it).
The main thing is, I'm 18months down the road, and don't feel it is getting better. The sound remains the same and bothers the shit out of me. It blocks me from recovering from my burnout. I'm a control freak and a perfectionist, which does not help. Have tried EMDR, etc., but things aren't helping much it seems. Valium seems to be my only friend.
I think the most regret comes from not protecting myself better. How do you guys cope with the regret (and the hearing loss?) I have a hearing aid providing a masker giving some relief. My hearing still is relatively OK (hearing loss runs in the family, so I'm much better of than some of my relatives), but still the regret drives me insane, as well as the thought of missing out on some sounds. Are there people in similar situations, and how did you overcome the regret and self-guilt and accepted the loss?
