Suicidal

[Star64]

you aren't. Nobody in my family is sympathetic. They think I need to just pull it together.

Sorry to hear your family are not sympathetic, often the worst thing about having tinnitus or any illness that people cannot see, is that some people will expect you to "behave as if you don't have anything wrong with you."

This can be frustrating and hurtful to those suffering, but I have worked long enough in Mental health to know many family members actually do care, but they prefer to use ignorance as a coping mechanism for themselves, especially when they know a family member is suicidal.

So they often will expect you to just to pull it together, because they themselves cannot cope with the way things are.

I also know some family members are just horrid, but I would like to think your family do care about you Selah.

You have lots of support here, please give it time

 

[Dizzyhead888]

There's no trials here. I could only participate if it's here. Participants are Guinea pigs. Is there any news if any of these treatments are successful? No. Anything other than rumors?

What is your reasoning and evidence that it will be effective and lower tinnitus that much? You are right though as lowering it to 6 or less would be a significant improvement. The lower the better. But, I also have read that many of the treatments are years away. So, there is nothing definite. Just hoping while you suffer.

I would like to know if restoring significant hearing has an affect on tinnitus. That alone should tell us all something???

I usually don't comment on posters who agree on other posts but I wonder what they were agreeing with. :-(

You live in Canada, trials are all $200 flight away from you in the US.

"Participants are guinea pigs".

Not really if you participate in phase 2, not phase 1.
All of those hearing loss companies are in phase 2, so safety was tested in phase 1 and it seems all of them are very safe.

You can't guarantee that they are 100% safe at this point, but you are not only suicidal but you are really planning to commit suicide. So participating in a phase 2 trial is something that should be very highly considered considering your case.

Restoring significant hearing has certainly an effect on tinnitus, it's the same effect that you get from wearing a hearing aid.

You would hear the environment sounds more and so it would mask the tinnitus more.

Now you have people with normal hearing and severe tinnitus (like me). They claim there is hidden hearing loss which I totally believe in, or hearing loss in the very high frequencies. which are not shown on an audiogram. In this case, you should also benefit.

I just want you to know that while you feel completely suicidal now, if you are only thinking of a cure that will let you out of this shit, you will be doomed and hopeless. Think of lessening 20-30% which is more realistic. Trust me this 20-30% lessening will be the difference between "I am suicidal" and "I have tinnitus, but I can still be happy"

 

[PeteJ]

It is most likely not TMJ.
I also suffered from bad ear pain during the first year of onset.
This pain is actually related to phantom limb pain. Essentially it is nerve pain, it should subside, but it takes a long time.

How long have you had this pain and when did it start?
Does massaging your ears give you a moment of relief?

My left ear pain started after the initial acoustic trauma which was February 15. It is difficult to remember but I think I only noticed tinnitus a day or two later. The ear pain continued for a while until subsided. Now, it's like it recurs and lasts for a while before subsiding. I haven't kept track of exact duration and how long it subsides for. I haven't been able to pinpoint a pattern.

My right ear is occasionally in pain but not as often or as frequent. But, when it occurs, it's just as severe. I think both ears have been in pain at the same time only twice? There is also some clicking, some fullness and my ears just don't feel normal prior to the tinnitus even when the pain isn't severe.

If it's phantom limb/nerve pain, will it ever go away for good? I don't want to endure this cycle of pain for the rest of my life. The tinnitus is bad enough.

I am inclined to agree you that it's not TMJ-related although I wonder if I could have that too or at least jaw/dental issues contribute to the pain? But, if part or all of it is nerve pain, I am very scared.

 

[all to gain]

I understand why you are angry, it is a normal part of grief, and we are all grieving for our past life, I know I do...

I was angry with my Dr too, he said the drug I took was safe, I was so angry at myself, I continued to beat myself up...

My anger isn't going to go away any time soon.

Knowing there is no cure, I have all but given up hope. Either I learn to accept my new reality or I don't. It's not looking good at the moment.

It would be so much easier I presume if my tinnitus was mild and was not such a horrible whining sound. And of course if I didn't have other thing complicating the issue.

 

[dan]

If it's phantom limb/nerve pain, will it ever go away for good? I don't want to endure this cycle of pain for the rest of my life. The tinnitus is bad enough.

You won't have to endure it for your whole life. It fades up to a couple years after onset.
Edit: unless you step on a landmine... which is highly unlikely in Canada...

 

[dan]

It would be so much easier I presume if my tinnitus was mild and was not such a horrible whining sound.

...but it's not mild. That's the hand we were dealt with. If all tinnitus was mild, then when the ENT tells you "learn to live with it" - you'd go home and forget about it...

 

[dan]

You live in Canada, trials are all $200 flight away from you in the US

You're kidding right???

$200 would cover all his expenses LOL.

 

[carolinet617]

My left ear pain started after the initial acoustic trauma which was February 15. It is difficult to remember but I think I only noticed tinnitus a day or two later. The ear pain continued for a while until subsided. Now, it's like it recurs and lasts for a while before subsiding. I haven't kept track of exact duration and how long it subsides for. I haven't been able to pinpoint a pattern.

My right ear is occasionally in pain but not as often or as frequent. But, when it occurs, it's just as severe. I think both ears have been in pain at the same time only twice? There is also some clicking, some fullness and my ears just don't feel normal prior to the tinnitus even when the pain isn't severe.

If it's phantom limb/nerve pain, will it ever go away for good? I don't want to endure this cycle of pain for the rest of my life. The tinnitus is bad enough.

I am inclined to agree you that it's not TMJ-related although I wonder if I could have that too or at least jaw/dental issues contribute to the pain? But, if part or all of it is nerve pain, I am very scared.

I don't know your whole history but when I first got tinnitus I was having intermittent severe pain and pressure in both ears. The ENT did nothing. Luckily my primary care doctor thought to look up my nose and noticed my sinuses were quite blocked and so for the past few months I've been using Nasacort spray and the pain and pressure has completely stopped, though tinnitus still there. Again, not sure if this is applicable to you but maybe worth a shot.

 

[acute]

I have been searching for suicide methods on the Internet for 4 hours. Also reading experiences of people who have lost loved ones due to suicide, that breaks my heart. But I think that today more than ever I have accepted that I must die. I will not live suffering. I will not survive to this fucking tinnitus monster. I will not live every year further tormented and suffering. It wouldn't be fair. What kind of future await me?

I'm 25. This shit came to me just 10 days after my 25 year birthday. I still can't believe it. My life is not the same. Anything it's the same. I still can't believe I'm not my old self anymore. I am nothing now. I am a rotten soul.

It is not matter of time, I'm 6 months with tinnitus and nothing has improved. NOTHING. Nothing has gotten better. In fact, things have gotten worse... my mood, my lack of hope, the noise is louder, I have developed new tones... I am afraid of going anywhere just in case it gets worse. I have no social life anymore, I don't go out. I don't do things I used to enjoy, like going to bars or pubs, drink beer, chilling, listening to music, drive...

I just go to work +8h, then home, benzos and sleep. This is my day. This is not life. This is death. These were supposed to be the best years of my life. My youth. I can't stand the idea of being alive with tinnitus and be wasting this years, my youth... and not being able to live a proper and decent life. A life like anyone person of my age can have. I do not want a disabled life. I do not want it.

I just want my old self back. My peace. My silence.

I don't think I will habituate anyday.

 

[just1morething]

I just go to work +8h, then home, benzos and sleep

Some people are not able to work with their noise. Try to keep positive even if it's hard. A lot of people are in the same boat as you.

Maybe the PRP treatment in India or possibly LumoMed laser therapy would help? Hearing aids seem to help a lot of people to take the edge off. The RIC ones are supposed to be better and have bluetooth capability. I have a nasty left ear noise that is very bothersome. Could be airplane barotrauma and/or TMJD caused. ENT's say HF hearing loss caused but mine is much worse in left ear.

I agree this is definitely a disability. Invisible so nobody understands. I understand you being young it would be even worse. It's terrible to have at any age.

 

[Greg Sacramento]

My left ear pain started after the initial acoustic trauma which was February 15. It is difficult to remember but I think I only noticed tinnitus a day or two later.

Place acoustic trauma into internet search - read about the middle ear and all the possibilities for related ear pain and what may aggravate ears more. Certain things such as TMJ and sinus problem can add involvement. If you are having ear pain, then it's caused from a real problem(s). It's not phantom limb/nerve pain. This rarely ever happens with ear pain. Phantom limb associates to the spinal cord and brain. You won't find a relationship on this cause list or any other list.

https://healthtopquestions.com/nerve-chart-nerve-roots-innervation-symptoms/

 

[Star64]

My anger isn't going to go away any time soon.

Knowing there is no cure, I have all but given up hope. Either I learn to accept my new reality or I don't. It's not looking good at the moment.

It would be so much easier I presume if my tinnitus was mild and was not such a horrible whining sound. And of course if I didn't have other thing complicating the issue.

At least acceptance doesn't mean resignation, but do not lose hope, things could always get better and I am hoping that you find the strength to hang in there until it does.

 

[dan]

I have been searching for suicide methods on the Internet for 4 hours. Also reading experiences of people who have lost loved ones due to suicide, that breaks my heart. But I think that today more than ever I have accepted that I must die. I will not live suffering. I will not survive to this fucking tinnitus monster. I will not live every year further tormented and suffering. It wouldn't be fair. What kind of future await me?

I'm 25. This shit came to me just 10 days after my 25 year birthday. I still can't believe it. My life is not the same. Anything it's the same. I still can't believe I'm not my old self anymore. I am nothing now. I am a rotten soul.

It is not matter of time, I'm 6 months with tinnitus and nothing has improved. NOTHING. Nothing has gotten better. In fact, things have gotten worse... my mood, my lack of hope, the noise is louder, I have developed new tones... I am afraid of going anywhere just in case it gets worse. I have no social life anymore, I don't go out. I don't do things I used to enjoy, like going to bars or pubs, drink beer, chilling, listening to music, drive...

I just go to work +8h, then home, benzos and sleep. This is my day. This is not life. This is death. These were supposed to be the best years of my life. My youth. I can't stand the idea of being alive with tinnitus and be wasting this years, my youth... and not being able to live a proper and decent life. A life like anyone person of my age can have. I do not want a disabled life. I do not want it.

I just want my old self back. My peace. My silence.

I don't think I will habituate anyday.

Tinnitus is your new normal.
You will get used to it.
Disability is cool, you can live a decent life... probably no children because they make it worse...
Once you are off benzos things will improve.
Oh yeah life is great, just not so much for severe tinnitus people.... but you can still swim in the sea.
Going out is overrated, it's just selfish people out there.

 

[valeri]

I went to psychiatrist today, cried a river, was told I have severe depression but... my weight is number one priority!

He said to get private cover and get gastric bypass surgery in 12 months!

Needless to say I very impressed because that's exactly what I was thinking I MUST do while my whole life is literally destroyed because of tinnitus

Off to starve myself, I'm glad now I know tinnitus is nothing...

 

[dan]

It's not phantom limb/nerve pain.

Yes it is.

 

[dan]

I went to psychiatrist today, cried a river, was told I have severe depression but... my weight is number one priority!

He said to get private cover and get gastric bypass surgery in 12 months!

Needless to say I very impressed because that's exactly what I was thinking I MUST do while my whole life is literally destroyed because of tinnitus

Off to starve myself, I'm glad now I know tinnitus is nothing...

Hey Valeri, I believe we video Skyped a few years back... can you please explain why your "whole" life is destroyed because of tinnitus?

 

[valeri]

Hey Valeri, I believe we video Skyped a few years back... can you please explain why your "whole" life is destroyed because of tinnitus?

Oh Dan where do I start?

Few years ago I suffered acoustic trauma at work, tinnitus went through the roof, new permanent sounds, hyperacusis, ear pain with burning, had to stop working, that hit me pretty hard which led to depression, anxiety, isolation... survival mode!
To this day nothing's changed!

Good to see you back here, hope you are doing ok!

 

[acute]

Tinnitus is your new normal.
You will get used to it.
Disability is cool, you can live a decent life... probably no children because they make it worse...
Once you are off benzos things will improve.
Oh yeah life is great, just not so much for severe tinnitus people.... but you can still swim in the sea.
Going out is overrated, it's just selfish people out there.

Excuse me, but this message is pure shit.

 

[just1morething]

Excuse me, but this message is pure shit.

Dan is just being Dan. It comes quite natural for him. I remember him trying to persuade everyone to take Trobalt, except for himself of course.

 

[dan]

Oh Dan where do I start?

Few years ago I suffered acoustic trauma at work, tinnitus went through the roof, new permanent sounds, hyperacusis, ear pain with burning, had to stop working, that hit me pretty hard which led to depression, anxiety, isolation... survival mode!
To this day nothing's changed!

Good to see you back here, hope you are doing ok!

I was doing ok but, unfortunately I'm not doing well at all since 3 weeks ago I also suffered an acoustic trauma that caused a massive spike which has caused an increase and new tone.

What kind of noise were you exposed to?
How was your tinnitus affected?

 

[dan]

Excuse me, but this message is pure shit.

I am just trying to kick start your habituation process.

 

[Gabriel]

@acute,

There must be things you can try before killing yourself. There is so much actually. Other drugs (antiepileptics), other treatments, Lenire, Otonomy stuff coming, EMDR, supplements, TMS...
I can understand you so much, I am 26 and my tinnitus started right before new year, just after my birthday in November, just after my graduation in November, at the beginning of my life.
I had a pretty shitty life till my graduation, and I actually started to get out of depression during December. Everything was going to be okay, finally.
But end of December tinnitus struck.

So yeah, I understand what you live, every bit, but you're not done here. If you are ready to die, then you are ready to experiment with treatments.

 

[tokyotony]

I find that sleep is key. You might ask yourself, how can I sleep if I have this ringing in my ears. Well, get some medication to help. Turn on some music or a talk show (I find talk shows easier to sleep to since it distracts my mind better than predictable sound waves. And, it's like you are in a room with some other people...i.e. you are not alone.)

I suffered anxiety 3 years ago when my mom passed away and I felt that if I could get enough sleep, I would have a strong mind the next day to take on my anxiety.

Now, in addition to having T, I have floaters! Both key senses, sounds AND sight, impaired. I look forward to the night when the lights are not so bright. But grateful that I am not deaf or blind.

Yesterday, I bought a wooden sign from K-mart. It says: "Be Thankful".

My 2 cents.

 

[just1morething]

I am just trying to kick start your habituation process.

@acute may want to kick start you in your balls.

 

[all to gain]

@acute,

There must be things you can try before killing yourself. There is so much actually. Other drugs (antiepileptics), other treatments, Lenire, Otonomy stuff coming, EMDR, supplements, TMS...
I can understand you so much, I am 26 and my tinnitus started right before new year, just after my birthday in November, just after my graduation in November, at the beginning of my life.
I had a pretty shitty life till my graduation, and I actually started to get out of depression during December. Everything was going to be okay, finally.
But end of December tinnitus struck.

So yeah, I understand what you live, every bit, but you're not done here. If you are ready to die, then you are ready to experiment with treatments.

What could EMDR do to treat tinnitus? Has there been any studies or success stories? I ask as I had a session of it this week.

 

[Daniel Lion]

@acute may want to kick start you in your balls.

Please kick me in the balls...

 

[dan]

Dan is just being Dan. It comes quite natural for him. I remember him trying to persuade everyone to take Trobalt, except for himself of course.

I gave Trobalt a shot - I had immediate complications. However it did help a lot of people, that's why I suggested it.

 

[PeteJ]

@acute, how did you get tinnitus?
Did the new tones just start? How long have you had them?

I have said so before but if the tinnitus associations and researchers wanted to do something useful, they could do studies and comparisons. People here are always posting "it could fade." Yeah? Based on what?

Is it most likely to fade with mild to moderate tinnitus? Maybe it is more likely to fade for younger people? Maybe it fades more for those in which tinnitus was from ototoxic drugs rather than acoustic trauma or from noise exposure in which a person can't recall an acoustic trauma experience?

I think loud noise and acoustic trauma are the culprits but it doesn't always impact everyone the same since we all have different ears and auditory systems. Yes, I am speculating, too, but I suspect I might be correct about that one.

But, what can tinnitus associations tell us? Nothing.

Researchers don't communicate with us. They don't even communicate with doctors or ENTs.

My tinnitus I rate as 9/10 most of the time. Ear pain is frequent and mostly my left ear but occasionally my right ear, too. My ears never feel normal - compared to pre-tinnitus. I pray for the pain to stop as it would limit problems to tinnitus and not ear pain as well. I think we should obtain automatic disability from the government when we have severe tinnitus. It would at least alleviate some stress. Why aren't tinnitus and hearing organizations pushing for this? They don't do anything!

What do you rate your tinnitus as? It's the only gauge we can use to have sort of idea.

 

[Harley]

I gave Trobalt a shot - I had immediate complications. However it did help a lot of people, that's why I suggested it.

Why was the Trobalt discontinued anyway?

 

[dan]

Why was the Trobalt discontinued anyway?

Arrhythmia.