Surrounded by People and Feel So Alone

[Sarahjane]

Hello everyone,

My name is Sarah Jane - I have suffered with tinnitus since 2014 - 5 years on and I can say that it never gets better but you do find ways to cope or at least I have been able to do so. I understand what works for one doesn't work for all but if you are new to this condition then stay strong.

Although the reason I joined today is that this horrible condition has lead to one of the biggest decisions I have ever made, last month I left my partner of 17 years. He has been my rock and my best friend which made this a horrible decision to make but in recent months leading up to this I noticed the changes in him that my horrible condition has caused. The light in him had seemed to have dimmed.

He has always been supportive and tried to understand the relentless hell that comes along with my condition and although he would never admit it I could see that I was stealing his life away, and that is something I am not willing to do.

I have friends and family to support me through this but none of them understand the reasons behind this and that is why I have joined a group of people who I am hoping can understand and give the support that other people who do not suffer this condition will never ttrulyruley grasp.

love
Sarah J
x

 

[beach house]

totally get the feeling of feeling alone with others, can't get them in our heads, can we?

what do you do to get out of that mindset?

 

[Sarahjane]

I don't think you ever really do get out of the mind set you just find a way to accept that you are in it.
and take peace in the fact that you are surrounded by well inteded love and support

 

[beach house]

acceptance, a tough-to-reach step; it's good you're in there, all things considered... i know t tries its hardest to limit our quality of life but this one (leaving what seems to me a lifelong partner) must be one of the worst things it can do

did you try anything (e.g. any medicine, finding the cause) when t began? or was it classic doctors' "we don't know what causes t, just learn to live with it"?

welcome to the forum, even though i'm new here as well

 

[emmalee]

He has always been supportive and tried to understand the relentless hell that comes along with my condition and although he would never admit it I could see that I was stealing his life away, and that is something I am not willing to do.

You do realize that this makes you a truly wonderful, caring person? He was very fortunate to have you in his life, and you were just as fortunate to have him.

I am a true believer that if two people were meant to be together, they will be. Time may bring you back together, who knows what the future has in store for any one of us.

In French, you don't really say "I miss you", you say "Tu me manques" which means "You are missing from me".

 

[Seth4kHz]

Sarah Jane, thanks for sharing your experience, which is simultaneously heart-warming and heartbreaking. Kudos for seeking out a community of support. I am new to this community as of today also, but have far less experience with tinnitus than you (constant since Nov. 2018). Hopefully following the example of you and others who've learned to cope will be helpful. Hang in there! -Seth

 

[Labyrinthine]

I'm truly sorry that such circumstances have led to this difficult decision, I can't possibly fathom how hard that must have been. If it is any consolation, I completely agree with emmalee; true love always finds it way.

 

[Sarahjane]

Thank you all so much for your kind words.

It truly has been one of the most difficult things about having this condition, he has sacrificed so much in the last 5 years and I couldn't watch him do it any longer.

I miss him with all my heart and I will always love him, who knows in time maybe we will find a way back to each other but for now I want him to live his life to the fullest and enjoy the beauty in the world. Lord knows he deserves it.

Again thank you all I know you understand how the curse can dictate so much of our lives.

Xxx

 

[Mister Muso]

I don't often well up reading this forum but I'm in tears reading your story Sarah Jane. My wife tries her best but nobody can understand the hundred daily challenges we face. I hope you'll stay good friends with your partner and that this forum becomes a valuable part of your support network.