The Audiology Student and Her Series of Unfortunate Events (Acoustic Trauma)

[Freyja95]

Hello everyone.

After about 9 months of being a spectator on Tinnitus Talk, I felt like it was time to make an introduction, before I forget too much of everything that's happened.
Sorry about the length of the post! I could definitely add more, but tried to keep it down.

Shortly about me - 25-year-old Swedish girl, now a graduated audiologist.
Here's my story.

------------------

Background.

I got my tinnitus the last semester of studying audiology.
I remember sitting in class having a lecture about tinnitus and hyperacusis, thinking to myself about how tinnitus was my greatest fear. I was really scared of ending up with it, and as a result, I was really careful with my hearing, more careful than almost everyone I know. Always using earplugs on concerts, and using my headphones on low volume.

I've always had a passion for music, not as in playing, but I listen a lot to it, and it's one of my biggest interest. It's really what lead me to audiology. And as a result, I wanted to get really good headphones. I went and bought the Audio Technica ATH-M50X that I'd read good things about. And all I wanted was to get headphones that produced really good sound quality. Little did I know that the headphones I had gotten were apparently among the loudest on the market.


January 2020, the accident.

On the bus home from a friend I had been listening to a voice recording, it was of a person whispering and was really quiet so I had to turn it up a lot to be able to hear it. After listening to it I wrote a few messages, then I decided to listen to a podcast I very much enjoy. I put on the podcast, forgetting to turn the volume down before, and my ears are just hit by this absolute wall of sound from the intro music. It was extremely loud. At first I tried to lower it, but my idiot phone lowered the call signal instead of the music, so it took 2-3 seconds before I just trew off the headphones.

I was a bit chocked at how loud it had been, but didn't think much more of it - until I got off the bus. I had instant tinnitus and it made me quite worried since I don't have much experience of having tinnitus after sound exposure. And I was also probably in quite the state of denial, "it'll go away".

The first 3 months were absolute hell. I was a complete mess.
Very anxious, so often in just pure fight or flight mode, falling into depression, losing a lot of weight, and taking several hours to fall asleep. I never planned anything, but definitely thought a lot about the 'S' word. I'm honestly just amazed at myself for being able to finish my education while going through all that. But I also feel like being so occupied with stressful school maybe helped keep my mind off the tinnitus a bit. My tinnitus was very different at this point, I had two sounds, one was like a static, white noise. The other sound was like a tone that was just constantly changing, it's more difficult to describe but it was just constantly moving, and reacting to other sounds, I remember that I used to think that it really just sounded like my ears were broken, as if some hair cells were just dangling. Would probably rate it around 6/10 the first months.

After around 3-4 months, things slowly got a bit better. I was no longer in fight or flight mode, and the tinnitus did not make me as anxious. over the following months, the broken sound settled and it was mainly the static I could hear. In September I felt quite well, it was probably a 2 on a good day and 4 on a bad, but I was really just rather habituated.


The second/third incident.

One day in the beginning of September I sat on my balcony having some tea and relaxing. What happens? The war alarm goes off. I have forgotten that it's the day for testing it. This sound is also extremely loud. I cover my ears after like a second, it plays for 7 seconds and then I go inside. However, I have also forgotten that they have a 30 second pause before trying it again, so I go back out thinking it's over. This last signal is 30 seconds long, I more or less panic, but since I'm using my hands to cover my ears I cant open the door to go back inside. After this, I don't have an immediate spike, but I'm extremely anxious. The day after I take take the car to drive to the family, and this car is old and broken somehow so it's extremely loud. In an attempt to protect my hearing, I use my headphones, and with the whole thing of the occlusion effect, I just don't know if that made it worse.

What I do know is that after a few days my tinnitus had gotten louder, and I had also developed hyperacusis. I had never had hyperacusis before, not even after the first trauma. I became a mess again and felt like I was back on square one. The hyperacusis lasted about a week.


The Present

I've always been a person that easily falls into depression, but I've never really been an anxious person. But from this whole thing, that really does feel like a trauma, I've definitely become more generally anxious, and I easily worry a lot if I'm accidentally exposed to loud sounds, but that worrying settles after a few hours.

It's now been 9 months since the first incident.
Generally I'm doing quite okay, even though lately has been more challenging. But I'm positive!
The tinnitus is still here, and I notice it around 50% of the day, would say it's a 3 on a good day and a 5 on a bad day. But, there are also days where I can more or less hear silence for a short bit. It can be quite loud when I go to sleep, but that's not a problem, it's no problem falling asleep. The tinnitus might be here for good, but, I'm trying to be okay with that. I'm trying to keep a positive mindset. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I can still live my life, and there's so much good in life that I want to experience, and I won't let the tinnitus take that away from me.


Things that have helped me.

One thing that really helped me stay afloat when I was at my darkest was falling in love. It's obviously not something I can give as an easy advice to "just go do this". But I was just really lucky to, at the same time as I got my tinnitus, the girl of my dreams that I had been in love with for 8 years, told me that she had been in love with me all that time too. And the fact that I could have a future with the most amazing girl I knew, gave me such strength and determination - I was not going to allow the tinnitus to take that future away from me. And it has also happened several times, that when I'm around her, I experience actual silence.


Things I used to aid sleep/anxiety.

Success stories - There's definitely a lot of negativity to be found on this forum, and thankfully I made a conscious choice to stay away from that and only read the positive threads and success stories
Lavender oil - I liked to put a drop under my pillow
Lavender/chamomile tea
Oxazepam - only used when I was extremely anxious
Melatonin
Feelgood shows - It's not really something I used for sleep. But my favourite feelgood show - The Office US, is something I've generally used just to keep my mood up, it always makes me feel lighter.
ASMR - this was a big thing. It really helped me relax and I found it very helpful. I will recommend especially this video - it gave me such peace one night when I was extremely anxious.



It's been a rather lonely journey. Both because I haven't talked much to people about it, but also because I don't really know many others with tinnitus that I can talk to. Thank you for providing a place to share.

 

[n_li808]

@Freyja95 thanks for sharing! If mine doesn't go away (10 weeks with tinnitus), I'm hoping I can habituate to it and not concentrate on it. All I do is monitor it. Some days are good and some days are bad. It just feels like it will never get better. I do see a lot of success stories and I'm literally praying that I'm able to hear silence again. I'm glad it doesn't bother you any more. It's crazy how this condition exists and no one was taught to protect their ears.

 

[Freyja95]

@n_li808 thank you for replying! I really hope things get better for you soon.

And your tinnitus is still really new, and getting better can take a lot of time, so I hope that gives you some relief.

I remember also just waiting for the day when I would wake up and there would be silence again. But now I've tried to stop focusing on that, and I try to not monitor and measure it every day, even though it certainly is difficult. I've tried to approach it with acceptance, accepting that I have no power over it, I can't influence if it stays or not, and whatever happens happens. But a way of thinking that has really helped with giving me some relief is thinking that "even if it doesn't go away, I will be okay! It might take a long time to habituate, but eventually, I will be okay!" Maybe there's a few people here who would think that would be to spread false hope. But I don't think so. It's soo important to stay positive, hopeful and optimistic. Trying our best to be optimistic about the future really is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Take care <3

 

[n_li808]

@Freyja95 I agree staying positive is definitely the attitude you need to have or it can really drag you down. I feel up and down about it still.

Do you have fluctuating tones with your tinnitus? I think if mine didn't fluctuate so much it would be a little easier... I think I can get used to the "hissing" that I have but when it's bad it's like a high pitch ring/screech. I wake up with it soft and it gets louder throughout the day.

 

[Freyja95]

@n_li808 Yeah, same. I have felt more bothered by it lately, so I don't feel habituated yet, but I'm confident I'll get there eventually and I to try to not stress about it. Trying to remind myself that the path to habituation is rarely straight and easy, there can be bumps on the road.

And yes, I do have fluctuating tones. It's sort of the same broken/fluctuating tone I had from the start, however now it's a tiny bit lower, and only in one ear at the time. However, the really strange thing about it is that it can change ear! I just really cannot wrap my head around that. For a long time it was mainly in my left ear, but recently it has started changing, some days it's in the left, some days in the right. Super weird.

So yeah, I know exactly how you feel, with that it would have been easier to get used to just the "hissing".

 

[Vassili]

I remember also just waiting for the day when I would wake up and there would be silence again. But now I've tried to stop focusing on that, and I try to not monitor and measure it every day, even though it certainly is difficult. I've tried to approach it with acceptance, accepting that I have no power over it, I can't influence if it stays or not, and whatever happens happens. But a way of thinking that has really helped with giving me some relief is thinking that "even if it doesn't go away, I will be okay! It might take a long time to habituate, but eventually, I will be okay!" Maybe there's a few people here who would think that would be to spread false hope. But I don't think so. It's soo important to stay positive, hopeful and optimistic. Trying our best to be optimistic about the future really is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Take care <3

Golden words. Thank you, Freyja!

 

[n_li808]

@Freyja95 This is definitely a time will tell situation. It just sucks, I think I am in a set back... I forgot my plugs and ended up in a bar for an hour and going through a spike... I hope it doesn't stay this way.

Mine is in both ears! And sometimes they both have a different tone, it's so weird.

 

[Tara Lyons]

@Freyja95 thanks for sharing! If mine doesn't go away (10 weeks with tinnitus), I'm hoping I can habituate to it and not concentrate on it. All I do is monitor it. Some days are good and some days are bad. It just feels like it will never get better. I do see a lot of success stories and I'm literally praying that I'm able to hear silence again. I'm glad it doesn't bother you any more. It's crazy how this condition exists and no one was taught to protect their ears.

@n_li808 I wouldn't spend too much time on here. Some people can be extremely negative and it's almost like they don't want you to get better because they're not. Try to focus on the reality that this will eventually pass.

 

[n_li808]

@Tara Lyons I know I've come across a lot of negatives that scare me... I try to stay off but it's so hard.. I just want answers and more success stories. So I keep coming in to check.

 

[Matchbox]

What I wouldn't give to just have static again... life was much more livable.

 

[Freyja95]

(I will begin with saying that if you find that it negatively affects you to hear about people taking longer time to habituate, please just leave this post and go to the success story section for more uplifting content) ♡

-

Hello dear people,

Long story short, I've had tinnitus for 10.5 months now. Around 6-7 months in it was slowly improving, I think at least, it's difficult to try to remember how it was back then. But I think I was decently habituated. But then at 8 months another unfortunate event happened and I was exposed to a really loud sound (a civil defense siren) for almost a minute, covering my ears of course. I have a difficult time remembering how my tinnitus was before so I'm not sure how much it was affected but probably a little bit at least. What I'm more certain of is that I got ear fullness afterwards, and I developed hyperacusis for the first time.


It's been very up and down now, trying to re-habituate.
I've generally been trying to stay away from this forum, since I feel like it's not helpful to add more focus to the tinnitus.

What's making me return here though, is that it seemed to get better, and then that changed.
Around two weeks ago, my tone that I have, a very fluctuating type of tone, more or less disappeared for several days. But then after a week of just having the static noise, the tone returned, for no reason, and was now a solid tone instead of a fluctuating one. And my static noise has felt louder as well. Needless to say, this been causing me to feel quite bad.

I'm trying to think of something I read here, that habituation is 3 steps forward, 2 steps back.
But yeah, I've just generally been feeling a bit worse lately, quite sad and lonely on top of it.

I'm guessing most habituated people move on with their life and leave this forum.
But if anyone has experienced similar things on their journey - how it's not a straight path, and things like this happen, it would just be very very appreciated to hear some encouraging words. And to feel some community, it is indeed a rather lonely journey.

And I really would like to ask for only positive/optimistic/encouraging input. Some people on this forum are so dark and negative, and I feel like that's just damaging more than anything, it doesn't do any good. So I very kindly ask to either keep words bright or to not comment. Thank you in advance for respecting that.


Thank you ♡

 

[Havel]

But if anyone has experienced similar things on their journey - how it's not a straight path, and things like this happen, it would just be very very appreciated to hear some encouraging words. And to feel some community, it is indeed a rather lonely journey.

And I really would like to ask for only positive/optimistic/encouraging input. Some people on this forum are so dark and negative, and I feel like that's just damaging more than anything, it doesn't do any good. So I very kindly ask to either keep words bright or to not comment. Thank you in advance for respecting that.

Hello,

I see you are Swedish as well.

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I've experienced a similar story. Mine started early summer this year, in May. I accidentally played music on max volume. I only played for seconds before turning it off, because it was uncomfortably loud, possibly the loudest music I've ever heard... despite the speakers being small. I also believe the audio track contained a lot of high frequency content. I didn't think more of it, until a couple of hours later, when suddenly I heard a tone in my left ear. Almost immediately I also noticed that certain things didn't sound right, such as running water. After a couple of minutes, the tone changed into a different sound, more difficult to describe, but somewhat similar to sizzling. I also started hearing other sounds, such as the sound of air escaping, and crickets (the crickets eventually and mysteriously disappeared). During the next couple of days, I kept hoping the sounds would go away, but they didn't. When I went outside, I noticed I had developed some sensitivity to sound, i.e. hyperacusis (which thankfully went away after a while, although not completely). A very mentally difficult period began that lasted for several months.

I visited an audiologist weeks later, who found I had lost hearing on the highest measured frequencies in the left ear. But I didn't receive any kind of help, other than information.

After about a month I also started to occasionally hear a sound in the other ear, strangely. It's a hissing, air blowing sound that comes and goes. In the left ear, the tinnitus is instead constant, and the sounds are numerous and more difficult to describe, more sounds had appeared since it first began. They fluctuate in volume and type of sound. I can't mask it, but I often have audio (low to moderate volume always) on in the background to better be able to not focus on it.

One of the most difficult sides to this has been how much it fluctuates. From one minute to the next, the sound can go from barely perceptible (but still there) to audible over everything except the shower. Some days I hear it less, and other days I hear it more. I've wondered how I can habituate fully, considering how much it varies. After some time, I've become more used to it, and gotten better at focusing on other things, and better at coping with it. Certainly I feel much better mentally than in the beginning. But there have been times when I thought about how it had become almost a non-problem for me, and then it starts to bother me more again, and the sounds increase in volume, as if my brain for some reason wants to say "you're not escaping it that easily". I had such a period recently. The fluctuations are apparently random, no known pattern to it or cause, although I suspect stress or tension and noise exposure are factors.

Now, for the moment, it has decreased from the more annoying levels I recently had. I believe and hope I will become better at dealing with fluctuations over time, and I think you will too.

I should also note that I know a person who has more severe tinnitus, he must always drown it out with other sound, day and night, and has trouble understanding conversation in noisy environments. Yet he seems happy anyway and has a good life.

 

[GBB]

Hello,

I see you are Swedish as well.

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I've experienced a similar story. Mine started early summer this year, in May. I accidentally played music on max volume. I only played for seconds before turning it off, because it was uncomfortably loud, possibly the loudest music I've ever heard... despite the speakers being small. I also believe the audio track contained a lot of high frequency content. I didn't think more of it, until a couple of hours later, when suddenly I heard a tone in my left ear. Almost immediately I also noticed that certain things didn't sound right, such as running water. After a couple of minutes, the tone changed into a different sound, more difficult to describe, but somewhat similar to sizzling. I also started hearing other sounds, such as the sound of air escaping, and crickets (the crickets eventually and mysteriously disappeared). During the next couple of days, I kept hoping the sounds would go away, but they didn't. When I went outside, I noticed I had developed some sensitivity to sound, i.e. hyperacusis (which thankfully went away after a while, although not completely). A very mentally difficult period began that lasted for several months.

I visited an audiologist weeks later, who found I had lost hearing on the highest measured frequencies in the left ear. But I didn't receive any kind of help, other than information.

After about a month I also started to occasionally hear a sound in the other ear, strangely. It's a hissing, air blowing sound that comes and goes. In the left ear, the tinnitus is instead constant, and the sounds are numerous and more difficult to describe, more sounds had appeared since it first began. They fluctuate in volume and type of sound. I can't mask it, but I often have audio (low to moderate volume always) on in the background to better be able to not focus on it.

One of the most difficult sides to this has been how much it fluctuates. From one minute to the next, the sound can go from barely perceptible (but still there) to audible over everything except the shower. Some days I hear it less, and other days I hear it more. I've wondered how I can habituate fully, considering how much it varies. After some time, I've become more used to it, and gotten better at focusing on other things, and better at coping with it. Certainly I feel much better mentally than in the beginning. But there have been times when I thought about how it had become almost a non-problem for me, and then it starts to bother me more again, and the sounds increase in volume, as if my brain for some reason wants to say "you're not escaping it that easily". I had such a period recently. The fluctuations are apparently random, no known pattern to it or cause, although I suspect stress or tension and noise exposure are factors.

Now, for the moment, it has decreased from the more annoying levels I recently had. I believe and hope I will become better at dealing with fluctuations over time, and I think you will too.

I should also note that I know a person who has more severe tinnitus, he must always drown it out with other sound, day and night, and has trouble understanding conversation in noisy environments. Yet he seems happy anyway and has a good life.

I have many of the same phases where it seems like it's getting better and then gets as bad as it's ever been. It's very tricky but I have hope we will both reach the non-problem stage indefinitely.

 

[Freyja95]

Hello,

I see you are Swedish as well.

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I've experienced a similar story. Mine started early summer this year, in May. I accidentally played music on max volume. I only played for seconds before turning it off, because it was uncomfortably loud, possibly the loudest music I've ever heard... despite the speakers being small. I also believe the audio track contained a lot of high frequency content. I didn't think more of it, until a couple of hours later, when suddenly I heard a tone in my left ear. Almost immediately I also noticed that certain things didn't sound right, such as running water. After a couple of minutes, the tone changed into a different sound, more difficult to describe, but somewhat similar to sizzling. I also started hearing other sounds, such as the sound of air escaping, and crickets (the crickets eventually and mysteriously disappeared). During the next couple of days, I kept hoping the sounds would go away, but they didn't. When I went outside, I noticed I had developed some sensitivity to sound, i.e. hyperacusis (which thankfully went away after a while, although not completely). A very mentally difficult period began that lasted for several months.

I visited an audiologist weeks later, who found I had lost hearing on the highest measured frequencies in the left ear. But I didn't receive any kind of help, other than information.

After about a month I also started to occasionally hear a sound in the other ear, strangely. It's a hissing, air blowing sound that comes and goes. In the left ear, the tinnitus is instead constant, and the sounds are numerous and more difficult to describe, more sounds had appeared since it first began. They fluctuate in volume and type of sound. I can't mask it, but I often have audio (low to moderate volume always) on in the background to better be able to not focus on it.

One of the most difficult sides to this has been how much it fluctuates. From one minute to the next, the sound can go from barely perceptible (but still there) to audible over everything except the shower. Some days I hear it less, and other days I hear it more. I've wondered how I can habituate fully, considering how much it varies. After some time, I've become more used to it, and gotten better at focusing on other things, and better at coping with it. Certainly I feel much better mentally than in the beginning. But there have been times when I thought about how it had become almost a non-problem for me, and then it starts to bother me more again, and the sounds increase in volume, as if my brain for some reason wants to say "you're not escaping it that easily". I had such a period recently. The fluctuations are apparently random, no known pattern to it or cause, although I suspect stress or tension and noise exposure are factors.

Now, for the moment, it has decreased from the more annoying levels I recently had. I believe and hope I will become better at dealing with fluctuations over time, and I think you will too.

I should also note that I know a person who has more severe tinnitus, he must always drown it out with other sound, day and night, and has trouble understanding conversation in noisy environments. Yet he seems happy anyway and has a good life.

Hey Havel,

Indeed. Nice* to come across another swede here. (*well, nice, but also unfortunate that you're here).

Thank you for sharing your experience, it was very appreciated. Hearing others' experiences really helps.
I'm also sorry to hear that happened to you though.

It's very unfortunate how poor the audiologist education is when it comes to tinnitus and hyperacusis. The only gave us 2 days (out of 3 years) that were entirely devoted to these topics. And during my year one of the days were cancelled. I know that the majority of my class (and I'm sure it's not just my class) felt really unprepared to help tinnitus patients, and we complained about the education not giving us enough. But yes, that's where it's at. For me, getting tinnitus myself has been so extremely educational, I've learnt so much more, going through everything myself, compared to what I got from school. This is perhaps a bit rambly - but in conclusion, the help you can receive for tinnitus, at least in Sweden, is really lacking. It's very frustrating and sad.

Thank you for the shared hope. I'm faithful that we'll both be in a better place with this condition eventually, even if it stays for good - I'm sure we'll eventually be able to go on living happy lives.

 

[aimlesshiker]

I'm really sorry to hear about this. The irony and struggle of this situation is really heartbreaking, but I'm glad you're making your way through it. Quite disappointing they would spend so little time on tinnitus at your school... I was just watching a video about how it affects veterans, and goodness knows we don't take care of our veterans enough here in the States. Now that I think about it, it seems like a condition that would disproportionately affect certain demographics and jobs versus others... people living in loud areas, construction workers, etc. Oof. My heart goes out to all of them, and everyone on here.

And I really would like to ask for only positive/optimistic/encouraging input. Some people on this forum are so dark and negative, and I feel like that's just damaging more than anything, it doesn't do any good. So I very kindly ask to either keep words bright or to not comment. Thank you in advance for respecting that.

I also really appreciate this sentiment. I read so many replies along the lines of "your life sucks now, suck it up buttercup" and it's not really a good way of handling things. It's important to be realistic, of course, but you can still promote good mental health and encouragement while doing so. I really want this place to be a place of comfort but, like you, the more I scroll through here, the worse I feel. There are positive stories out there, though .

Best of luck to you and your studies... do you think you'll make tinnitus a primary focus of your studies? Perhaps you'll be the one to cure it! Wishful thinking, I know, but you seem to have a "good energy" about you. I hope you find success whatever path you go follow.

 

[Mister Muso]

You are a good writer. You told your story very well. It would make a good "cautionary tale" on a more public platform, not just a special-interest forum like this one.

You seem like a very positive-minded person too. I also have loud tinnitus every day, but I've reached the point where I can go for several hours forgetting my condition. I still have to take precautions for my hyperacusis, but that too has eased after several months (had it for 18 months now). I hope things improve for you. I'm sure you will help many people in your career as an audiologist.

 

[Freyja95]

I'm really sorry to hear about this. The irony and struggle of this situation is really heartbreaking, but I'm glad you're making your way through it. Quite disappointing they would spend so little time on tinnitus at your school... I was just watching a video about how it affects veterans, and goodness knows we don't take care of our veterans enough here in the States. Now that I think about it, it seems like a condition that would disproportionately affect certain demographics and jobs versus others... people living in loud areas, construction workers, etc. Oof. My heart goes out to all of them, and everyone on here.

I also really appreciate this sentiment. I read so many replies along the lines of "your life sucks now, suck it up buttercup" and it's not really a good way of handling things. It's important to be realistic, of course, but you can still promote good mental health and encouragement while doing so. I really want this place to be a place of comfort but, like you, the more I scroll through here, the worse I feel. There are positive stories out there, though .

Best of luck to you and your studies... do you think you'll make tinnitus a primary focus of your studies? Perhaps you'll be the one to cure it! Wishful thinking, I know, but you seem to have a "good energy" about you. I hope you find success whatever path you go follow.

Thank you for your message. And yes, despite having had a lot of experience with depression and frequent dips in mood, I'm at the core a strongly positive and optimistic person.

And yes, I agree, being realistic is important, but some of the posts I've seen on the forum just feels downright toxic. Like how I've sometimes seen some people write more or less "well you probably really fucked up for yourself". I think people generally should be considerate of others, and mindful of how their actions affect others. Often the people posting on here are in quite anxious states, and it would be more helpful with hope and reassurance, compared to adding more fire to their anxiety.

And thank you so much. I'm done now and just got my first job that I'll be starting soon ^^
I do feel a passion for helping tinnitus patients, I would have really wanted to focus a lot on that, as in working more exclusively with tinnitus patients. However I'm currently a bit worried about how that would affect me and my own journey with tinnitus - to constantly be around people that struggles a lot with it. It would probably make me more focused on my own, and I am worried about if it would have a negative effect. But perhaps in a few years when I'm more stable in it all. Every regular audiologist in Sweden does meet tinnitus patients, so I'm sure that'll be enough to begin with at least.

Thank you so much for your kind words.
I wish you the best for your future as well ❀

 

[Freyja95]

You are a good writer. You told your story very well. It would make a good "cautionary tale" on a more public platform, not just a special-interest forum like this one.

You seem like a very positive-minded person too. I also have loud tinnitus every day, but I've reached the point where I can go for several hours forgetting my condition. I still have to take precautions for my hyperacusis, but that too has eased after several months (had it for 18 months now). I hope things improve for you. I'm sure you will help many people in your career as an audiologist.

Thank you for your kind words Mister Muso.

Yeah, I generally wish there was an easier and better way to spread more information to the public about these types of risks. It would have been a good thing to include in school, maybe even at several times to make sure it's not forgotten.Because it is so very important.

I'm glad for you that you've managed to reach that level of habituation despite having loud tinnitus. I'm sure it's been very tough at times and you're really strong for having fought through it, I'm very happy you're doing okay now.

 

[Freyja95]

Hello fokes.

Starting out the new year in not the nicest way unfortunately, a sound accident.

I've generally been doing quite well the past two weeks. I experienced another accident 4 weeks ago when a friend turned up the car stereo really loud for a few seconds which gave me a new tone. It was really loud for 3 days but then calmed to a more mild degree. And I habituated to that surprisingly fast, and have gone through most days lately mainly thinking of my tinnitus at night.

And I've also been more careful after that recent event. Yesterday I went over to a friend's house to spend the night. I thought fireworks would be my biggest concern... how wrong I was.

This morning one of the people there dropped a ceramic plate on the stone floor when I was sitting just 1m/3 feet away. I didn't see it happening and was just hit by the incredibly loud sound. The kitchen was quite small too. It was as loud as I can imagine a shattering plate being. The moment after my heart was racing and my hands shaking. My right ear, that got the new tone from the car stereo event now feels a little sore.

I got a new tone from the car stereo incident, and this incident definitely felt louder.
But I suppose the good thing is that it was only a second. But still, it felt insanely loud, and not just to me. After past incidents it has generally taken 2 days before the spike appears.
So I'm just generally quite worried now. And sad.

You try to be careful and protect yourself, but shit like this just keep happening..

Anyone else out there (preferably with noise induced tinnitus) with experience of really loud events like this happening, and perhaps getting spikes, but eventually ending up okay?


Wishing a good year, and healing and progress for you all ♡

 

[ajc]

Anyone else out there (preferably with noise induced tinnitus) with experience of really loud events like this happening, and perhaps getting spikes, but eventually ending up okay?

A huge majority of people who get spikes from sudden loud noises will improve and get back to baseline in a matter of days and weeks. I wouldn't worry at all if I were you. It's outside of your control anyway.

 

[Freyja95]

Thank you for the reply!

 

[Steph1710]

Anyone else out there (preferably with noise induced tinnitus) with experience of really loud events like this happening, and perhaps getting spikes, but eventually ending up okay?

Hey my lovely!

Yes, I've experienced very loud events which spiked my tinnitus. However, my tinnitus came down to it's original volume/sounds after a few days of the sound trauma.

One time was the car stereo being left up on full volume by my partner using the car before me. I turned the car on and it blasted my ears.

The other time was my sister turning on a chainsaw next to my head before I had ear protection on.

Another time was the fire alarm going off above my head.

What I try to do is not panic about it. Stress can play a major role in the volume of my tinnitus, so I try to keep calm and tell myself that 'what is done, is done' - stressing won't change what's happened.

And those are just some of the unfortunate things which have happened since I developed tinnitus. There has been many more. Obviously I try to avoid all possible noise trauma, but we know that's not always possible.

How's your tinnitus today? Has the spike settled at all? I had a spike from an ear infection that last 4 months! However, that settled too. I just pretended that the spike hadn't happened and eventually it faded.


Steph <3

 

[Freyja95]

Hey my lovely!

Yes, I've experienced very loud events which spiked my tinnitus. However, my tinnitus came down to it's original volume/sounds after a few days of the sound trauma.

One time was the car stereo being left up on full volume by my partner using the car before me. I turned the car on and it blasted my ears.

The other time was my sister turning on a chainsaw next to my head before I had ear protection on.

Another time was the fire alarm going off above my head.

What I try to do is not panic about it. Stress can play a major role in the volume of my tinnitus, so I try to keep calm and tell myself that 'what is done, is done' - stressing won't change what's happened.

And those are just some of the unfortunate things which have happened since I developed tinnitus. There has been many more. Obviously I try to avoid all possible noise trauma, but we know that's not always possible.

How's your tinnitus today? Has the spike settled at all? I had a spike from an ear infection that last 4 months! However, that settled too. I just pretended that the spike hadn't happened and eventually it faded.


Steph <3

Hello Steph!

I cannot express enough how grateful I am for your message.
Thank you for taking your time to write it.

Thing is that it hasn't spiked yet. The event was just a day ago, and I know from past spikes that after loud sound exposure I usually get a few days when it's quieter than normal, before the spike appears. The ear soreness/tension is less than yesterday. But I definitely feel more sensitive to sounds today. I'd be very surprised if a spike wouldn't come since this event felt worse than the car stereo event. But I can handle a temporary spike, it's mainly just the worry that it would end up being a permanent increase ): Just because of how insanely loud and sharp it was, and my ears was sensitive before that due to the previous spike. I do imagine we have different sensitivity too based on what the cause of our tinnitus was? So that's where I'm at right now, just worrying about what is most likely to come.

However I agree with you, "what is done is done". It's so easy to wallow in the past and go back and forth in your head about what you could have done, wishing you could change the past. But you can't, it happened and I can't affect it no matter how much I think about it. I just have to try to accept that it happened, and decide to be strong and push through whatever might be to come.

Thank you so much again Steph,
I hope you get a really good start to the year

 

[Steph1710]

after loud sound exposure I usually get a few days when it's quieter than normal, before the spike appears. The ear soreness/tension is less than yesterday. But I definitely feel more sensitive to sounds today

I have found that when I've been exposed to loud sounds that don't spike my tinnitus instantly, I usually just have a bit of soreness and sensitivity for a few days after. It seems to be one or the other - instant spike, or just sore and sensitive.

How are your ears today? Still feeling sore? If you haven't had a spike yet, or new tones, you'll be okay. I'm sure of it <3

I do imagine we have different sensitivity too based on what the cause of our tinnitus was? So that's where I'm at right now, just worrying about what is most likely to come.

Well my tinnitus was induced by taking a six month cause of the antibiotic Doxycycline, which began to give me bouts of fleeting tinnitus which I thought nothing of - little did I know it was completely destroying my ears. Anyway, one day I was listening to a podcast whilst cleaning the bathroom, and that was all it took to give me permanent, and at the time, loud tinnitus.

The Doxycycline weaken my ears, and the listening to a podcast in small and echoey space finished them off.

So my tinnitus is from ototoxic meds and a subsequent noise trauma... Yay!

This all happened a month before my final uni exams too. However, I managed to study for them and pass them too. Which I'm super proud of.

I just have to try to accept that it happened, and decide to be strong and push through whatever might be to come

Exactly Freyja! There is a few things that keep me going.

1) Knowing that I have close friends who have mild to severe tinnitus and managed to live full and happy lives, which means I can too.

2) Honestly believing that in 5-10 years time, or possibly sooner, we WILL have something to help. And if you're young or even youngish like me, 10 years really isn't that long to wait.

3) Telling everyone I know about my tinnitus and how annoying it is, but also spreading awareness about the things I do to prevent it from becoming worse. So when I'm in a car with them and I whip our ear defenders or earplugs, that they don't think I'm completely insane.

4) This one is odd - but just laughing at it! I will say some days to my partner, "my bloody ear is just ring, ring, ring, the annoying little bastard!" You've gotta make light of the situation because right now, there's nothing we can actually do...

Sorry for all the information. But I thought an insight into my tinnitus journey might bring you some comfort Freyja.

 

[Freyja95]

I have found that when I've been exposed to loud sounds that don't spike my tinnitus instantly, I usually just have a bit of soreness and sensitivity for a few days after. It seems to be one or the other - instant spike, or just sore and sensitive.

How are your ears today? Still feeling sore? If you haven't had a spike yet, or new tones, you'll be okay. I'm sure of it <3

Well my tinnitus was induced by taking a six month cause of the antibiotic Doxycycline, which began to give me bouts of fleeting tinnitus which I thought nothing of - little did I know it was completely destroying my ears. Anyway, one day I was listening to a podcast whilst cleaning the bathroom, and that was all it took to give me permanent, and at the time, loud tinnitus.

The Doxycycline weaken my ears, and the listening to a podcast in small and echoey space finished them off.

So my tinnitus is from ototoxic meds and a subsequent noise trauma... Yay!

This all happened a month before my final uni exams too. However, I managed to study for them and pass them too. Which I'm super proud of.

Exactly Freyja! There is a few things that keep me going.

1) Knowing that I have close friends who have mild to severe tinnitus and managed to live full and happy lives, which means I can too.

2) Honestly believing that in 5-10 years time, or possibly sooner, we WILL have something to help. And if you're young or even youngish like me, 10 years really isn't that long to wait.

3) Telling everyone I know about my tinnitus and how annoying it is, but also spreading awareness about the things I do to prevent it from becoming worse. So when I'm in a car with them and I whip our ear defenders or earplugs, that they don't think I'm completely insane.

4) This one is odd - but just laughing at it! I will say some days to my partner, "my bloody ear is just ring, ring, ring, the annoying little bastard!" You've gotta make light of the situation because right now, there's nothing we can actually do...

Sorry for all the information. But I thought an insight into my tinnitus journey might bring you some comfort Freyja.

I'm really hoping that's the case. I'm not that into religion, but I've honestly been praying to God, that's how afraid I've been of this leading to a permanent worsening. It's been 2,5 days now and I haven't had a change in the tinnitus yet, however the ear that was closest to the impact is sore and very sensitive to sound today, normal sounds hurt. I'm still worried it's gonna be a delay of the tinnitus spike like it's been previous times, so I'll give it a few more days before I fully relax. But I really wish for nothing more... I do hope you're right. Thank you so much for your reassurance and calming words though, I really appreciate it <3

Thank you for sharing your story. Definitely very strong of you to push through that and finish your exams.

And yeah, I can imagine so, that it gives strength to know people like that. I only know two friends with mild tinnitus. But I'm trying to tell myself that even if my tinnitus would reach severe levels, I could still have a good life.

10 years just sounds so soon, research seems to take such long time. But I'm probably generally pessimistic about this specific topic. Like, I'm pessimistic about "a cure", but I would like for research to come up with just anything to at least help the condition and make it more manageable/easier to live with. However I do really hope you're right It's definitely something that's very needed.

Reading your post really lightened things up for me.
I appreciate it immensely, thank you so so much Steph <3

 

[Juan]

Anyone else out there (preferably with noise induced tinnitus) with experience of really loud events like this happening, and perhaps getting spikes, but eventually ending up okay?

I think every person has his or her own list of sounds that are particularly dangerous for that particular person. That said, I had severe hyperacusis and had an incident very similar to what you described (a glass fell on the floor and broke) and I was ok a few days after it.

 

[Drachen]

Hej, Freyja!

I read through this thread to learn a bit more about your story. I hope you don't mind me going on a bit about the topic.

Firstly, despite your setbacks, you are obviously making it through this in a positive way. I truly respect your strength. You might even consider your case to be somewhat of a success story. I am also glad to see that you have successfully graduated as an audiologist! From what I have learned on this forum, many in this profession do not remotely understand this condition enough. Perhaps with your experiences, you will be the dream doctor. There obviously isn't anything at the moment you can do or prescribe to just make it go away, but just having one who is understanding of the problem is apparently hard to come by.

As you recovered over the months, did you ever take any additional supplements, medications, or therapies that you noticed had a positive effect on either your mood or the noise itself? In this early stage, I am trying to do whatever I can that's feasible to lessen things or at the very least lessen my stress. From what I have read here, you seem to have mostly roughed it through on your own. One of the things that makes it challenging for me to just live day to day is the fear I am not doing something for my health besides waiting.

I am sorry to hear about your spikes and how varied they can be. The inconsistencies are really difficult to address, and I often have to wonder how much of it is an actual spike versus what might be a psychological reaction. I do not challenge the commonly held understanding that this symptom is primarily physiological, but there seems to be something to the psychological element as well given the striking comorbidities with things like stress, anxiety, and depression. It doesn't help when you had a case of each of these three to some degree beforehand! Phonophobia seems like its a general concern. Steph mentioned some great advice about just staying as calm as you can be. Of course, this is often easier said than done, and I am in no position to preach this method until I can practice it myself!

Speaking of which, I do not wish to bring too much negativity into this thread, so I'll keep my situation short. I am currently in the early stages of what may be short-lived or may last a little longer, and I have found it hard to adapt. Your first three months sounds very similar to my situation. Hell, almost everyone has a terrible introductory period. I guess that makes sense, and I am trying to find positivity in that because it means it is only a short time, but when you are living each day to day in distress, it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. In terms of noise, I also appear to have both the "static" and the one that was fluctuating. The rapid changes of the latter one is almost more distracting than the noise itself!

Maintaining a positive mindset has not been easy for me. In fact, I'm not even sure I can say I've had one yet. You are right in the sense that many, many people on this forum are overly negative and embroiled into their suffering. This is understandable in many ways, because this condition is not pleasant at all. It only makes sense for the worse it is to result in a worse quality of life. Unfortunately, with my negativity bias, I tend to latch onto those moreso than the generally positive outlooks such as what you offer here. I am trying to change that.

Once again, I apologize for how long this post has been. As you mentioned in your last statement in the original post, the loneliness has further made this condition a challenge beyond belief. My grandparents have tried their best to help and console me, but this only goes so far. The same goes for those close friends of mine who have tried to help. I am thankful for their support, but the lack of empathy generally means I have no outlet to release my grief, uncertainties, concerns, etc.

At any rate, I genuinely hope that this new year is one of only improvement in quality of life and happiness for everyone! Thank you for taking the time to share both your story and subsequent updates, Freyja. Vi hörs!

P.S. I am a big fan of the artist who drew your avatar! Their style is so delicate and pleasant.

 

[Freyja95]

Hej, Freyja!

I read through this thread to learn a bit more about your story. I hope you don't mind me going on a bit about the topic.

Firstly, despite your setbacks, you are obviously making it through this in a positive way. I truly respect your strength. You might even consider your case to be somewhat of a success story. I am also glad to see that you have successfully graduated as an audiologist! From what I have learned on this forum, many in this profession do not remotely understand this condition enough. Perhaps with your experiences, you will be the dream doctor. There obviously isn't anything at the moment you can do or prescribe to just make it go away, but just having one who is understanding of the problem is apparently hard to come by.

As you recovered over the months, did you ever take any additional supplements, medications, or therapies that you noticed had a positive effect on either your mood or the noise itself? In this early stage, I am trying to do whatever I can that's feasible to lessen things or at the very least lessen my stress. From what I have read here, you seem to have mostly roughed it through on your own. One of the things that makes it challenging for me to just live day to day is the fear I am not doing something for my health besides waiting.

I am sorry to hear about your spikes and how varied they can be. The inconsistencies are really difficult to address, and I often have to wonder how much of it is an actual spike versus what might be a psychological reaction. I do not challenge the commonly held understanding that this symptom is primarily physiological, but there seems to be something to the psychological element as well given the striking comorbidities with things like stress, anxiety, and depression. It doesn't help when you had a case of each of these three to some degree beforehand! Phonophobia seems like its a general concern. Steph mentioned some great advice about just staying as calm as you can be. Of course, this is often easier said than done, and I am in no position to preach this method until I can practice it myself!

Speaking of which, I do not wish to bring too much negativity into this thread, so I'll keep my situation short. I am currently in the early stages of what may be short-lived or may last a little longer, and I have found it hard to adapt. Your first three months sounds very similar to my situation. Hell, almost everyone has a terrible introductory period. I guess that makes sense, and I am trying to find positivity in that because it means it is only a short time, but when you are living each day to day in distress, it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. In terms of noise, I also appear to have both the "static" and the one that was fluctuating. The rapid changes of the latter one is almost more distracting than the noise itself!

Maintaining a positive mindset has not been easy for me. In fact, I'm not even sure I can say I've had one yet. You are right in the sense that many, many people on this forum are overly negative and embroiled into their suffering. This is understandable in many ways, because this condition is not pleasant at all. It only makes sense for the worse it is to result in a worse quality of life. Unfortunately, with my negativity bias, I tend to latch onto those moreso than the generally positive outlooks such as what you offer here. I am trying to change that.

Once again, I apologize for how long this post has been. As you mentioned in your last statement in the original post, the loneliness has further made this condition a challenge beyond belief. My grandparents have tried their best to help and console me, but this only goes so far. The same goes for those close friends of mine who have tried to help. I am thankful for their support, but the lack of empathy generally means I have no outlet to release my grief, uncertainties, concerns, etc.

At any rate, I genuinely hope that this new year is one of only improvement in quality of life and happiness for everyone! Thank you for taking the time to share both your story and subsequent updates, Freyja. Vi hörs!

P.S. I am a big fan of the artist who drew your avatar! Their style is so delicate and pleasant.

Hi Drachen!

No need to apologise, it's just nice to hear your story and thoughts ^^

Thank you so much for your kind words. And I do hope so. I really feel like I understand tinnitus patients so much more now than I did before, nothing exceeds experiencing it first hand I suppose. And I really hope to be able to give good help and support.

From what I can remember, I didn't initially do anything for the tinnitus. I consumed alcohol and smoked to deal with the anxiety. Stuff I definitely wouldn't do now. I didn't take any supplements, didn't go out with earplugs in my pocket. I honestly didn't think much about sounds and I lived life very normally. I miss that time. I really hope that eventually my life will be somewhat like that again, I don't mind my usual tinnitus anymore, I've gotten used to it, what I don't like is the fear I now have of sounds and of having more accidents that might make things worse. I did not have that fear before my second incident, which I've felt made my ears more sensitive after that.

Nowadays though, I do take supplements. Generally, but especially after noise accidents. There's no Prednisone in Sweden, and NAC is also extremely difficult to come by. But I do take vitamin C and Magnesium, and Omega 3's. Also Turmeric with black pepper. This time I've generally tried to eat healthier and with less sugar. No alcohol or smoking. I don't know how much the supplements actually help, but as long as you don't exceed the recommended amount, it doesn't hurt. Something that did help my anxiety a lot and that helped me fall asleep was ASMR, I might have mentioned it further up, but it really helped me relax. I didn't have hyperacusis after my first trauma so it worked well then, but now I feel my ears are too sensitive for headphones. But if your ears don't feel sensitive and you're careful with volume - there are volume-locking apps (man do I wish I had known that from the start...) you could give it a try.

Oh I definitely agree with you about the psychological element. The brain is extremely powerful, and as you say there's been studies showing connection between higher tinnitus distress and people with anxious personalities.

About your distress:
Apart from ASMR, when I'm anxious, running helps me a lot. I also enjoy lavender oil under the pillow when going to bed. You can listen to something calming, like rain sounds.

I also do want to say, how my tinnitus is now (for the past month it's been a moderately loud static in my left ear, and a wobbling tone in my right ear), this tinnitus I'm sure would have made me distressed during my first months, but now I'm perfectly fine with it the way it is. So try to calm yourself too with the fact that even if your tinnitus does stay the way it is now, most likely it'll bother you less and less with time.

I recently started talking with a psychologist too. I had a really hard time reaching out for help for long... quite foolish.
Maybe that would be something good for you? We're very lucky to have psychologists easily accessible here in Sweden now, I can talk to mine through video call for just $12, or for free if I want one not specialiced in tinnitus. If it's expensive where you are, maybe there are cheaper online options?

I hope my reply is not too messy, I feel like I've been jumping back and forth a bit...
Feel free to write more if there's anything you want to talk more about.
I really hope things get better for you soon, and that you get a really good start of the year

 

[Drachen]

Thank you so much for your kind words. And I do hope so. I really feel like I understand tinnitus patients so much more now than I did before, nothing exceeds experiencing it first hand I suppose. And I really hope to be able to give good help and support.

You are really helping just by knowing about the matter, more than you probably realize. I think a great issue affecting this condition is the fact so few professionals in the field either know or care about the matter. It is a shame you have to even scour the corners of the Earth just to find legitimate "specialists" when this should already be common knowledge.

It is like you said yourself: you spent two days on this on this out of three years of instruction. That also includes hyperacusis, which itself is already a massively complicated and avoided issue. This is completely unacceptable, and I am sure it's not just an issue there in Sweden but rather globally.

I am going to see an audiologist on Tuesday myself, and I am not having high expectations for what's to come.

From what I can remember, I didn't initially do anything for the tinnitus. I consumed alcohol and smoked to deal with the anxiety. Stuff I definitely wouldn't do now. I didn't take any supplements, didn't go out with earplugs in my pocket. I honestly didn't think much about sounds and I lived life very normally. I miss that time. I really hope that eventually my life will be somewhat like that again, I don't mind my usual tinnitus anymore, I've gotten used to it, what I don't like is the fear I now have of sounds and of having more accidents that might make things worse. I did not have that fear before my second incident, which I've felt made my ears more sensitive after that.

To be honest, if I had more of a taste for alcohol, I would probably be trying that as well! Drinking is apparently supposed to exacerbate the symptoms, or at least it does for some people, so that is really not anything I want to try. The same goes for marijuana; even though I do not partake, I might have considered it given all the stress and anxiety I have been under!

I have often considered how I was just a day before all of this began, and how much it has more or less turned my life into a depressing state of affairs. You have made great progress though if what you mostly worry about is fear of sounds and accidents. I am no psychologist but I expect this sort of conditioning can be broken with time and understanding.

Nowadays though, I do take supplements. Generally, but especially after noise accidents. There's no Prednisone in Sweden, and NAC is also extremely difficult to come by. But I do take vitamin C and Magnesium, and Omega 3's. Also Turmeric with black pepper. This time I've generally tried to eat healthier and with less sugar. No alcohol or smoking. I don't know how much the supplements actually help, but as long as you don't exceed the recommended amount, it doesn't hurt.

This all is good to consider. I am currently taking Magnesium and Turmeric as well, though I'm not sure if I have noticed much of a benefit myself. Supplements don't ever seem to work instantaneously if they do.

I've noticed that my diet is also getting better, though I think it's more a consequence of me feeling too scared to drive out (therefore less eating at restaurants) and the fact my appetite has been a mess since this all began. I have rarely ever in my life had difficulty eating food, but when I did, it was either because I was ill or stressed beyond belief. I guess both of those together don't really work well together!

Something that did help my anxiety a lot and that helped me fall asleep was ASMR, I might have mentioned it further up, but it really helped me relax. I didn't have hyperacusis after my first trauma so it worked well then, but now I feel my ears are too sensitive for headphones. But if your ears don't feel sensitive and you're careful with volume - there are volume-locking apps (man do I wish I had known that from the start...) you could give it a try.

Hmm, I have never really been into ASMR before, but I am not adverse to trying it now!

As for headphones, I might be scared from using them for a time. Many people here on the site report that headphone usage can be very detrimental to one's condition, and I am not in a risk taking stage right now. Fortunately, I had already been using speakers at my desk for a long time now, so I haven't really had to adjust to not using them.

Speaking of hyperacusis, I must say that I am very appreciative of the fact that I have not had symptoms of this either. While my ears have felt a bit weird at times over the past couple weeks, I do not think I have had any major sensitivity to sound that isn't just psychological fear of it being dangerous (perhaps to the extent of being phonophobia).

Oh I definitely agree with you about the psychological element. The brain is extremely powerful, and as you say there's been studies showing connection between higher tinnitus distress and people with anxious personalities.

One of the thing that worries me the most is the consideration that I might have had some form of this before that I just did not care about whatsoever, yet for whatever reason, my mind had snapped into being aware of it. I could really, really go into this topic, but right now I think the post is a bit too long as-is.

Apart from ASMR, when I'm anxious, running helps me a lot. I also enjoy lavender oil under the pillow when going to bed. You can listen to something calming, like rain sounds.

These are all good solutions. I quite like the smell of lavender oil, so this is something I may try if we have some around the house. Almost everyone recommends exercise to some extent; this is something I have not gotten enough of for many months. The issue with COVID-19 has prevented me from feeling safe going to a gym, and now that it is winter here, it's very cold outside. Still, I will try to force myself to at least walk around a bit, and perhaps then I can work up to running and doing other exercises.

Rain sounds are typically my go-to for background noise. This is something I have always liked, and thankfully it tends to help mask my sounds well enough.

I also do want to say, how my tinnitus is now (for the past month it's been a moderately loud static in my left ear, and a wobbling tone in my right ear), this tinnitus I'm sure would have made me distressed during my first months, but now I'm perfectly fine with it the way it is. So try to calm yourself too with the fact that even if your tinnitus does stay the way it is now, most likely it'll bother you less and less with time.

I think it is great if you are at the point that you are "perfectly fine with it the way it is". Of course, it would be perfect for everyone to be able to enjoy silence when no stimulus is present, but at the end of the day it is the discomfort, annoyance, and distress caused by this phantom noise that is the problem. It is the difficulties getting to sleep as the environment feels to "loud" yet there is nothing making the noise but your head. It is the concern that simple sounds or short "loud" sounds could cause you damage.

Once one can get to the point where they have a total or massive reduction in their symptom or can at least live their life without having to worry about this companion that was never requested, I think that is enough to be considered a "success".

I recently started talking with a psychologist too. I had a really hard time reaching out for help for long... quite foolish.
Maybe that would be something good for you? We're very lucky to have psychologists easily accessible here in Sweden now, I can talk to mine through video call for just $12, or for free if I want one not specialiced in tinnitus. If it's expensive where you are, maybe there are cheaper online options?

I don't want to complain too much here, but I must say that healthcare in this country, or at the very least where I live, is very poor. Finding a doctor or specialist that will be helpful to you and actually care about your situation instead of just treating you like a paycheck is very difficult.

You might be onto something regarding looking online for help, which might be fine anyway given the COVID-19 situation. I am sure many professionals are offering telehealth services in which I could receive therapy through something like Zoom. I mean, they don't have to actually inspect my body or run physical tests like medical doctors, so it should be just as fine, yeah? I will be sure to look into this, but I am not getting my hopes up either. Finding help has been so difficult for me, and it is truly a wakeup call that I need to be more prepared before a crisis happens.

I hope my reply is not too messy, I feel like I've been jumping back and forth a bit...
Feel free to write more if there's anything you want to talk more about.
I really hope things get better for you soon, and that you get a really good start of the year

Please do not worry about the structure of your response. I was able to fully read and understand it despite it being so late and me being so tired. I appreciate the time you take to reply regardless.

I can get a bit verbose in my responses, because I have a tendency to write formal even though this is an informal setting, so I hope that is not a problem. Content tends to get long, as I have a lot to say but often very little outlets in which to express myself. My mind has been almost obsessed about this whole thing since I first started having troubles, which really sucks because it has more or less ruined my break from university and is threatening the days to come. I am sure the exhaustion I am currently feeling as it nears 02:00 is not helping my lack of brevity.

I always appreciate the opportunity to speak with someone so kind and thoughtful. I do not like the feeling that I may have co-opted your thread, as this should be about you. I apologize profusely if I have spent too much time talking about myself. It is mostly that I have found your story somewhat similar to mine and have great respect for how you have managed over the year you've been dealing with this condition.

Now I will try to sleep and hopefully I won't continue the pattern of sleeping for a little bit and then trying to go back and forth for several hours, accumulating in maybe five hours of total sleep during the night. I really wish I could at least get my sleep under control as a first goal.

 

[Freyja95]

You are really helping just by knowing about the matter, more than you probably realize. I think a great issue affecting this condition is the fact so few professionals in the field either know or care about the matter. It is a shame you have to even scour the corners of the Earth just to find legitimate "specialists" when this should already be common knowledge.

It is like you said yourself: you spent two days on this on this out of three years of instruction. That also includes hyperacusis, which itself is already a massively complicated and avoided issue. This is completely unacceptable, and I am sure it's not just an issue there in Sweden but rather globally.

I am going to see an audiologist on Tuesday myself, and I am not having high expectations for what's to come.

To be honest, if I had more of a taste for alcohol, I would probably be trying that as well! Drinking is apparently supposed to exacerbate the symptoms, or at least it does for some people, so that is really not anything I want to try. The same goes for marijuana; even though I do not partake, I might have considered it given all the stress and anxiety I have been under!

I have often considered how I was just a day before all of this began, and how much it has more or less turned my life into a depressing state of affairs. You have made great progress though if what you mostly worry about is fear of sounds and accidents. I am no psychologist but I expect this sort of conditioning can be broken with time and understanding.

This all is good to consider. I am currently taking Magnesium and Turmeric as well, though I'm not sure if I have noticed much of a benefit myself. Supplements don't ever seem to work instantaneously if they do.

I've noticed that my diet is also getting better, though I think it's more a consequence of me feeling too scared to drive out (therefore less eating at restaurants) and the fact my appetite has been a mess since this all began. I have rarely ever in my life had difficulty eating food, but when I did, it was either because I was ill or stressed beyond belief. I guess both of those together don't really work well together!

Hmm, I have never really been into ASMR before, but I am not adverse to trying it now!

As for headphones, I might be scared from using them for a time. Many people here on the site report that headphone usage can be very detrimental to one's condition, and I am not in a risk taking stage right now. Fortunately, I had already been using speakers at my desk for a long time now, so I haven't really had to adjust to not using them.

Speaking of hyperacusis, I must say that I am very appreciative of the fact that I have not had symptoms of this either. While my ears have felt a bit weird at times over the past couple weeks, I do not think I have had any major sensitivity to sound that isn't just psychological fear of it being dangerous (perhaps to the extent of being phonophobia).

One of the thing that worries me the most is the consideration that I might have had some form of this before that I just did not care about whatsoever, yet for whatever reason, my mind had snapped into being aware of it. I could really, really go into this topic, but right now I think the post is a bit too long as-is.

These are all good solutions. I quite like the smell of lavender oil, so this is something I may try if we have some around the house. Almost everyone recommends exercise to some extent; this is something I have not gotten enough of for many months. The issue with COVID-19 has prevented me from feeling safe going to a gym, and now that it is winter here, it's very cold outside. Still, I will try to force myself to at least walk around a bit, and perhaps then I can work up to running and doing other exercises.

Rain sounds are typically my go-to for background noise. This is something I have always liked, and thankfully it tends to help mask my sounds well enough.

I think it is great if you are at the point that you are "perfectly fine with it the way it is". Of course, it would be perfect for everyone to be able to enjoy silence when no stimulus is present, but at the end of the day it is the discomfort, annoyance, and distress caused by this phantom noise that is the problem. It is the difficulties getting to sleep as the environment feels to "loud" yet there is nothing making the noise but your head. It is the concern that simple sounds or short "loud" sounds could cause you damage.

Once one can get to the point where they have a total or massive reduction in their symptom or can at least live their life without having to worry about this companion that was never requested, I think that is enough to be considered a "success".

I don't want to complain too much here, but I must say that healthcare in this country, or at the very least where I live, is very poor. Finding a doctor or specialist that will be helpful to you and actually care about your situation instead of just treating you like a paycheck is very difficult.

You might be onto something regarding looking online for help, which might be fine anyway given the COVID-19 situation. I am sure many professionals are offering telehealth services in which I could receive therapy through something like Zoom. I mean, they don't have to actually inspect my body or run physical tests like medical doctors, so it should be just as fine, yeah? I will be sure to look into this, but I am not getting my hopes up either. Finding help has been so difficult for me, and it is truly a wakeup call that I need to be more prepared before a crisis happens.

Please do not worry about the structure of your response. I was able to fully read and understand it despite it being so late and me being so tired. I appreciate the time you take to reply regardless.

I can get a bit verbose in my responses, because I have a tendency to write formal even though this is an informal setting, so I hope that is not a problem. Content tends to get long, as I have a lot to say but often very little outlets in which to express myself. My mind has been almost obsessed about this whole thing since I first started having troubles, which really sucks because it has more or less ruined my break from university and is threatening the days to come. I am sure the exhaustion I am currently feeling as it nears 02:00 is not helping my lack of brevity.

I always appreciate the opportunity to speak with someone so kind and thoughtful. I do not like the feeling that I may have co-opted your thread, as this should be about you. I apologize profusely if I have spent too much time talking about myself. It is mostly that I have found your story somewhat similar to mine and have great respect for how you have managed over the year you've been dealing with this condition.

Now I will try to sleep and hopefully I won't continue the pattern of sleeping for a little bit and then trying to go back and forth for several hours, accumulating in maybe five hours of total sleep during the night. I really wish I could at least get my sleep under control as a first goal.

Don't you worry about "co-opting" the thread, I really don't mind. I'm glad you got a good outlet to talk about things on your mind. I've been driving 7 hours today and been very busy lately so I'm sorry about not having the energy for a lengthy reply, but I'm very happy about getting to hear your thoughts.

And I think alcohol does both for me. If I only drink a little, it makes me notice my tinnitus less. But if I drink a lot it definitely makes it louder. Either way, alcohol's not good for your body.

Tinnitus definitely is complicated, and very difficult when there's no clear cause in cases such as your own. I really do hope your meeting goes well.