The Day My Life Changed

[Lex]

I got T on July 27, a Wednesday. It was around 6am. I woke up 30 minutes earlier than the usual, so I decided to sleep again. But within a minute of lying on my side, my left ear that was pressed against the pillow suddenly rang. Just a faint noise, so I tried to ignore it. But it won't go away, so I stood up and took a bath. I completely forgot about T.

On Thursday night, I was sitting on the couch when I switched off the electric fan. Wrong move. I could hear the ringing. I started to panic. Why was that sound still there? But it was a faint ringing which I could hardly hear when there was background noise, so I found myself becoming obsessed with it, listening for any sign of it wherever I went.

I set an appointment with my ENT on the morning of Monday, August 1. I figured she could help me because she was able to keep my sinus infections at bay. So I went to her, and she found out that there was a ball of earwax pressing against my right ear. She said it could be causing my tinnitus, so she took it out via microsuction, which was quick, painless, and quiet. She then prescribed B complex vitamins.

I went straight to work after leaving the hospital. I felt a bit better, but late in the afternoon, I noticed something different. The flush of the office toilet seemed a bit too high-pitched. The voice of the coworker sitting beside me seemed too loud.

I still didn't think much of it until I was in an Uber for the ride home. I was sitting behind the driver's seat, my head resting against the window. Suddenly, I could hear the screeching and squeaking from the vehicles outside. The honks seem more piercing, too. By this time, I already knew what tinnitus and hyperacusis are because I already had a week to look up what was happening to me. So naturally, I felt scared. I almost had a panic attack in that Uber.

When I got home, I played some EDM to soothe me. But the music sounded distorted -- tinny with no bass! I still tried to reason with myself (maybe my phone's audio wasn't working properly, etc.) so I connected my phone to one of my good speakers that has a good bass sound. But the output was much more. The music still sounded tinny. It had bass, though but I couldn't hear it. Instead, I could feel it vibrating through my body, leaving me feeling nauseous.

I cried myself to sleep that night. It was the first of many tearful nights. Life was never the same since then.

I'll tell you all about the changes in H later when I have more time. Right now, T is still barely there, but H is really taking its toll on me.

 

[Scottrock]

Hi Alexandria,
I too have had many tearful nights and days, and it's only been less than 3 weeks. My life has dramatically changed also, from relaxed and happy to completely on edge and sad, all consumed by T. I am taking the advice of other sufferers on the forums and holding on to hope that it will get better, trying to ignore it, but without success so far. But it's still early days. Has the intensity of your T got better?
Cheers, Brett

 

[Lex]

Hi Brett, the T has remained the same and I'm really hoping it won't change anymore (unless it's gonna disappear forever). It's loud and distracting when I'm in a completely quiet place, but a bit of background noise drowns it out.

It's the H that's horrible. It has distorted my hearing and caused me a lot of pain.

So T isn't a major problem for me (touch wood), but I know it can get bad for others. I'm sorry to hear that yours is putting you on the edge. I know that feeling. I miss what being truly relaxed feels like.

Just wanted to add, since your T is still new, it still has a chance to improve/go away according to what I've read (and I've read a lot on this subject). Wishing you all the best!

 

[jumping jack]

@Lex -- If you do a search on this forum you'll see that for the majority of posters H goes away, even if T stays. It may simply take more time than you expect, so patience is key.

During that time you'll have to be mindful to not inflict further damage to your hearing system (loud sound exposure, ototoxic drugs, q-tips, etc.) All the while, it's beneficial to be around safe levels of everyday sounds, as long as they do not cause you undue discomfort. That will prevent your hearing system from becoming hypersensitive, thus worsening H.

P.S. I only had to go through, at "best", a very mild case of H, and the above is simply how I'd summarize the travails of many more significantly affected H sufferers on this forum.

 

[billie48]

@Lex -- If you do a search on this forum you'll see that for the majority of posters H goes away, even if T stays. It may simply take more time than you expect, so patience is key.

I am one of those unlucky souls with both severe T&H at the same time. My T is ultra high pitch dog whistle, and the H made every normal noise piercingly hurtful. They don't like each other, meaning if I try to do something to please H, T would kill me and vice versa for T. So there was no escape. But like others, H faded over time while my T stays. I was a mess initially but now I live a normal, productive and absolutely enjoyable life. Positivity reigns my life. Here is my journey from darkness to light with my T & H journey. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/from-darkness-to-light-how-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[Lex]

@Lex -- If you do a search on this forum you'll see that for the majority of posters H goes away, even if T stays. It may simply take more time than you expect, so patience is key.

I really hope so. My LDLs are around 85 db (not officially taken, this is just based on the few apps I have on my phone), but I make sure to wear foam earplugs when it hits at least 80 db, or whenever my ears feel more sensitive than my usual baseline. I haven't gone to the cinema or club since July, and I probably would never again. I also stopped using earphones since last month. They don't hurt my ears and I can still enjoy music at around 20% of volume, but I decided to put them away for now as an added precaution.

But I have most trouble with vibrations, especially from AC systems. I also noticed that sharp, sudden sounds in quiet, enclosed places hurt me the most.

 

[Lex]

They don't like each other, meaning if I try to do something to please H, T would kill me and vice versa for T. So there was no escape.

So true. I wore foam earplugs and Peltor earmuffs on a flight to protect my ears from the noise, and also to block out the vibrations. But my T rang the whole time during the flight which almost drove me mad.

Thanks for sharing your story. I've already read that before, and it gave me lots of hope.

 

[frogatog]

I would echo that patience is key. It may seem hard to believe but over time the greatest likelihood is that you will adapt. I'm willing to bet in a year you won't be on this forum except to offer others comfort. Keep the faith and protect your ears! I carry ety plugs everywhere I go and I find except for loud concerts, that's enough to endure pretty much any common noisy area (including loud movies). It may seem like it was the day your life changed, but that might not be how you feel in a year or two!

 

[Lex]

I would echo that patience is key. It may seem hard to believe but over time the greatest likelihood is that you will adapt.

@frogatog, I sure hope so! I would love to be able to share a success story to give hope.

Right now, I'm wrestling with anxiety. It makes everything worse! The first few months, I was scared, but I was also sustained by hope that I'd get better because I was still in the acute stage. But by the time the fifth month rolled around, I knew I was entering the chronic stage and that left me feeling hopeless, resigned, devastated, and terrified. Needless to say, I put my body through so much emotional stress. As a result, I started feeling vibrations that caused me nausea, and sounds that didn't cause me pain before made my ears burn. Now that I've calmed down somewhat, the sensitivity lessened a lot.