'The Noise Got Too Loud, Sorry' — Christopher Neile, 57, Killed Himself Waiting to Go to Dignitas

[GregCA]

This thread should be deleted by the mods. It adds no value to such a forum, that is filled with people that are hurting.

I find value in it, actually. I'm glad it was posted.
Perhaps there should be a different section of the forum where such stories can be posted to minimize the impact to fragile sufferers.

 

[fishbone]

I find value in it, actually. I'm glad it was posted.
Perhaps there should be a different section of the forum where such stories can be posted to minimize the impact to fragile sufferers.

I am open minded about this. Can you share, what value you gain from such a thread? Maybe I can see where folks are coming from, when they see value in this thread.

 

[glynis]

@fishbone I totally agree!
@Markku, @Steve, @Samir, @Karen
I think a Sticky post with a list of details where to get support if feeling suicidal is enough !

We also support members and point them to the sticky with out making the member feel guilty having these feelings as we arn't to judge eather way

Love glynis

 

[Bobbie7]

All of us here at TT are supposed to be UNDERSTANDING, SUPPORTIVE, EMPATHETIC and GENTLE with those who are suffering from tinnitus.... N..O..T advocating suicide as some (misguided) members are !

While some people may say they feel suicidal at times.... for those members' sakes, they should be told we are always here and understand their plight, encouraged to be patient, learn various coping mechanisms from those outstanding members who have gone through their dark periods and emerged into the light, habituated and have happy and fulfilling lives.

Members who are suffering need to read all those "Success Stories" since they are true accounts. Why can some members here ONLY focus on doom and gloom ???? I personally think they need some emotional "self-examination"

 

[Philippe79]

Just finished off reading this thread (it took a while). If I was seriously considering suicide and turned to this forum for support, I would be shocked that, all it's done is given me the green light to carry on.

 

[GregCA]

I am open minded about this. Can you share, what value you gain from such a thread? Maybe I can see where folks are coming from, when they see value in this thread.

Sure. I'll try to explain my reasoning.

As an invisible disability, I personally struggle day in and day out from the fact that my disability is concealed. Because of this, people think it's no big deal: I still wake up, make my coffee, brush my teeth, cook, drive, etc... to the point that they forget that I live with this 24x7. Even people close to me (friends, some members of my family) forget about it. I don't blame them: there is nothing to remind them of it.

What happens on a daily basis to me as an individual is similar to what happens to tinnitus sufferers as global members of an invisible condition: it is often viewed as "not a big deal", even from the medical community that we rely on as first responders to our despair. The awareness about the severity is lacking. We've had a few examples of doctors themselves being hit by this condition on this very forum, and expressing how little their community knew about the severity of this. They themselves couldn't imagine it'd be like this.

Posts like this acknowledge the severity of the condition (contrary to the dismissive attitude from doctors), and help me build up my "fact portfolio" that I can use to impart information about severity to uninformed masses.

In my opinion, hiding the ugly truth is doing us a disservice when it comes to awareness.
I don't ever want to hear "c'mon, it's no big deal: nobody ever died of a little noise in the ears!" again.

 

[GregCA]

I think a Sticky post with a list of details where to get support if feeling suicidal is enough !

That makes sense to me. I like that idea.

 

[fishbone]

Sure. I'll try to explain my reasoning.

As an invisible disability, I personally struggle day in and day out from the fact that my disability is concealed. Because of this, people think it's no big deal: I still wake up, make my coffee, brush my teeth, cook, drive, etc... to the point that they forget that I live with this 24x7. Even people close to me (friends, some members of my family) forget about it. I don't blame them: there is nothing to remind them of it.

What happens on a daily basis to me as an individual is similar to what happens to tinnitus sufferers as global members of an invisible condition: it is often viewed as "not a big deal", even from the medical community that we rely on as first responders to our despair. The awareness about the severity is lacking. We've had a few examples of doctors themselves being hit by this condition on this very forum, and expressing how little their community knew about the severity of this. They themselves couldn't imagine it'd be like this.

Posts like this acknowledge the severity of the condition (contrary to the dismissive attitude from doctors), and help me build up my "fact portfolio" that I can use to impart information about severity to uninformed masses.

In my opinion, hiding the ugly truth is doing us a disservice when it comes to awareness.
I don't ever want to hear "c'mon, it's no big deal: nobody ever died of a little noise in the ears!" again.

Thank you, for your point of view....

 

[Krish230]

Just finished off reading this thread (it took a while). If I was seriously considering suicide and turned to this forum for support, I would be shocked that, all it's done is given me the green light to carry on.

I completely agree with you. This forum, while helpful at times, can be a serious breeding ground for anxiety and despair. The majority of people who come on here are in a difficult place and the negativity can be overwhelming. I myself am guilty of being negative on here, which I am trying to change. We need hope, not despair.

 

[Bobbie7]

Just finished off reading this thread (it took a while). If I was seriously considering suicide and turned to this forum for support, I would be shocked that, all it's done is given me the green light to carry on.

I always try to steer people to the "Success Stories Thread" which are actual accounts by countless members who have gone on to achieve success through habituation and are leading productive and happy lives. As you will note, most members are not pleased with this thread.

 

[JohnnyMx]

Given the right volume level and pitch, tinnitus would very well be enough to commit suicide.

True,

The problem is, people with strong anxiety and deep depresion, can be COMPLETELY SURE their Tinnitus is the worst, very severe. When, very severe Tinnitus is very rare, and if you have it, you should receive the correct advise, and go to get professional help and support.

Having severe Tinnitus, and landing in this post, will not help.

Regards!

 

[TheDanishGirl]

@Markku !
Could it be possible to have a security section Thread where members need contact STAFF to let them read suicidal stories or add ones ?
Just brainstorming

I thought of something like this.

Like we can have the opposite of a 'Succes Stories' section, where there can be put a warning disclaimer like "text in this section can be disturbing, enter at your own risk" and in that section, news like this can be posted.

I would hate for these sad stories to just be sweeped under the rug and never talked about. Their needs to be awareness on how devastating this condition can be, but at the same time we have to protect each other from the "doom and gloom" stories......when one is vulnerable and in a bad state this sort of story does not help at all!

 

[Bill Bauer]

very severe Tinnitus is very rare, and if you have it, you should receive the correct advise, and go to get professional help

What help are you talking about? There is no cure for tinnitus...

Having severe Tinnitus, and landing in this post, will not help.

Such a person would have a chance to learn about the delay that Dignitas subjects its clients to.

 

[jeff W]

I disagree. Tinnitus alone can be all that's needed for a person to consider this act (heck, people even commit suicide for lesser reasons than Tinnitus). I know it turned me around when I acquired it. The rest of my life was totally fine before having this condition. I turned from a happy person into a train wreck solely because of Tinnitus.

Especially this guy mentioning "the noise" as the reason in his note must be of some indication.

In my opinion this once again underlines the importance of further research into this condition. It is not always about having "multiple issues in life" (with that reasoning theres always something you can point your finger at), as is too often brought up with this type of news. Everyone has issues in life. Everyone has stress in life. Even everyone has hearing loss in life these days. Yet, not everyone gets Tinnitus. So what is really going on here?

What we need is a true solution. Relieving stress (if even possible at all) and anxiety does not resolve the Tinnitus in all cases, it just makes you care a little less. That is nice and such, but not a real solution.

I wish the people close to this man much strength with this incredible loss.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proximate_cause

 

[jeff W]

Tinnitus comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. When it is mild or moderate most people are able to habituate to it and carry on with their lives doing everything that they want to without it causing too much of a problem. However, when it is severe and this level is sustained, it can be very debilitating and make a person do something to themselves that they wouldn't normally contemplate if they weren't in such a distressed state and this is a fact. Unless a person has endured severe tinnitus they cannot fully understand how debilitating it can be.

I hoped not to be posting about suicide and tinnitus on this thread, but think certain things need to be addressed to make some people understand what this condition is capable of making a person do. I have counselled people with tinnitus and still do occasionally. One person I was counselling a few years back was so distressed by his tinnitus, he couldn't sit still for longer than 15 minutes. His tinnitus had unfortunately got worse after having dental work and according to him, was seen by a number of top ENT doctors who couldn't do anything to make the tinnitus reduce in severity.

He was on medication most of the time just to get through the day and only had a little peace when he somehow managed to get some sleep at night. I spoke to his wife who was so sympathetic and understanding. He used to telephone me up to 4 times a week just for someone to talk to about the distress he was in and in his words understood what he was going through. Unfortunately his distress was starting to affect me and I reached a point when I would dread the telephone ringing, because he would go into detail how he was going to cause his own demise by using a robe because he couldn't take the torment anymore. I didn't have the heart to cut off contact with him but for some reason he stopped calling so I will never know what happened, and to be honest I'd rather not know.

Please click on the following link to read a story of a musician that had severe tinnitus for 3 months and couldn't cope anymore. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...oes-tinnitus-drove-stabbed-death-despair.html

Michael

I was in a similar situation with a vestibular patient. When you can't give them options they tend to look for the exit.

 

[GregCA]

Thank you, for your point of view....

Thank you for being open to other points of view...

 

[vermillion]

There are members here that are a living proof of how humans avoid the truth. Even worse there are members here that want to force us to sweep under the carpet stories that proves this condition CAN actually be such a big deal. A part of the tinnitus truth are the stories of people like Christopher Neils, Gaby Olthuis, Craig Gills and many others that we don't know. Phrases and beliefs which support that the people above had other issues and other comorbidities are discrediting their suffering by this malady, which forced them to proceed to their last act of desperation. We can't ban these stories from this tinnitus forum. It is at least disrespectful to their memory. Turning down these stories is one of the reasons of why this disorder is so neglected in terms of research etc. Turning down these stories is one of the reasons of why my doctor and my social environment believes that i am the one that i do not want to get well. However @Markku @Steve @Karen @Samir i think is a good idea to take in consideration the various ideas of members above about the creation of an appropriate space to include those stories out of the support section. Maybe a sub-forum with a special netiquette. That way this endless debate may come to an end, leaving no room for further sword fighting. This is not just a support forum. It's a reference point for tinnitus and hyperacusis and all the information must be available.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Such a person would have a chance to learn about the delay that Dignitas subjects its clients to.

What delay? According to the article he did not have an appointment with Dignitas. The title is misleading, Dignitas did not make him wait. He was waiting to travel to Switzerland.

 

[Dana]

Dignitas did not make him wait. He was waiting to travel to Switzerland.

He was waiting to travel in Switzerland because Dignitas is in Switzerland.

 

[Dana]

There are members here that are a living proof of how humans avoid the truth. Even worse there are members here that want to force us to sweep under the carpet stories that proves this condition CAN actually be such a big deal. A part of the tinnitus truth are the stories of people like Christopher Neils, Gaby Olthuis, Craig Gills and many others that we don't know. Phrases and beliefs which support that the people above had other issues and other comorbidities are discrediting their suffering by this malady, which forced them to proceed to their last act of desperation. We can't ban these stories from this tinnitus forum. It is at least disrespectful to their memory. Turning down these stories is one of the reasons of why this disorder is so neglected in terms of research etc. Turning down these stories is one of the reasons of why my doctor and my social environment believes that i am the one that i do not want to get well. However @Markku @Steve @Karen @Samir i think is a good idea to take in consideration the various ideas of members above about the creation of an appropriate space to include those stories out of the support section. Maybe a sub-forum with a special netiquette. That way this endless debate may come to an end, leaving no room for further sword fighting. This is not just a support forum. It's a reference point for tinnitus and hyperacusis and all the information must be available.

Thank you very much for your post. You comprised it very well. Concise and spot on.

 

[JohnnyMx]

What help are you talking about? There is no cure for tinnitus

Psychological counseling and drug prescription.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Psychological counseling and drug prescription.

I think that might work for people with mild (possibly moderate) tinnitus. I doubt many people with debilitating tinnitus would get a lot of relief as a result of counseling.

Now that I think about it, doctors can help with any symptom (no matter how severe) by drugging a person to a point of the person becoming a vegetable. How is that different from doctor assisted suicide?!

 

[Dana]

I think that might work for people with mild (possibly moderate) tinnitus. I doubt many people with debilitating tinnitus would get a lot of relief as a result of counseling.

Now that I think about it, doctors can help with any symptom (no matter how severe) by drugging a person to a point of the person becoming a vegetable, which is no differentfrom . How is that different from doctor assisted suicide?!

Listen, you, criminal, you encourage people with severe or even catastrophic T to commit suicide, cause you claim that the only alternative to stop their suffering is to put them in a vegetable state, no different from being dead. You have no knowledge about medicine, you criminal!
After being seriously drugged during an episode of catastrophic T, i slept for 3 days and 3 nights and woke up with NO tinnitus. I stayed T free and drug free for eight months. I would have been T free right now if not something else wouldn't have hit me eight months later.
Stop disseminating false information, you, criminal!

 

[Bill Bauer]

cause you claim that the only alternative to stop their suffering is to put them in a vegetable state

He said that a psychologist can help someone with debilitating tinnitus by counselling (hopefully everyone agrees that that's nonsense) or by giving them drugs. We were talking about loud, debilitating tinnitus. So what else could a drug possibly do besides pumping one's head full of fog? If one is not aware of screaming tinnitus, what Is one aware of, and if the level of awareness is low, then would it not be fair to call such a person a vegetable at that point?

After being seriously drugged during an episode of catastrophic T, i slept for 3 days and 3 nights and woke up with NO tinnitus.

Sounds like you had experienced a three-day loud spike. Of course I wasn't talking about loud spikes. I mentioned in my earlier messages that one ought to try to wait for two years, hoping that T will diminish. Before that time, the chance that one could recover is high enough to make suicide to be an irrational choice. After two years recovery is still possible, but the chance of it happening is lower. So I was talking about the doctor's limited ability to provide any meaningful help to someone who has been suffering from debilitating tinnitus for over two years.

 

[Sen]

There is no hope for existence.

 

[Dana]

Sounds like you had experienced a three-day loud spike.

Sounds like i had a 2 hours spike, which ended when drugs made their effect and i fell asleep. I did not have a spike during those 3 days of sleep, genius!

I mentioned in my earlier messages that one ought to try to wait for two years, hoping that T will diminish.

Oh, you "mentioned" in your earlier messages that one should ought to wait for two years? Where did you come with that time frame from? Your zero knowledge in the subject? A person in severe suffering should receive help right away, and not wait for two years. And if the person has debilitating T, how could he wait for two years in such torture, smartypants?

 

[Bill Bauer]

There is no hope for existence.

What do you mean?

 

[jimH]

There is no hope for existence.

Well then, that settles it! I'm pulling the pin on this sucker....

 

[Tinker Bell]

He was waiting to travel in Switzerland because Dignitas is in Switzerland.

Yes, but Dignitas did not make him wait to travel to Switzerland for an appointment. He made the decision to wait. Previous threads implied Dignitas made him wait, but it sounds as if he had not even had any contact with them.

 

[jimH]

There is no hope for existence.

Hi Sen,...I was only trying to get you to lighten-up a little with the goofy cartoon stuff. I really do hope that you're OK!