The Noise That Kills

[Street Spirit]

@Danny Boy
We are your family here and there is much wisdom in above posts.

No can truly know your suffering. I have severe H and other chronic pain conditons and let me tell you, I am tired. Really tired.

But, I have still have hope. I need too. I am 36 and a mother but also, I want to live again!

You say your hope is gone..why? How long have you had T? it can take time, alot of time but it is very possible you will get better and learn to live life again. There is hope. There is hope in those pills you took and gained some relief and there is hope in other treatments down the road, so hang on!

Please really think about it and also contact your GP. Try an antidepressant perhaps, to help with your anxiety and depression.

Don't give up. Please.

 

[awbw8]

Thanks for your caring and understanding nature. Honestly, I do want to live, but the struggle of this is overcoming me, I have tried for months upon months of coping with this and I'm fed up with crying over this all the time...Having panic attacks and feeling the urge to die. After all, even if I did try to live I feel like there's never going to be a cure and I've lost hope...When you lose hope, that's it.

Believe me, so many of us were where you are (Crying, panic attacks etc.) As others have said, you are very early on, your tinnitus is not considered chronic yet by most standards. The majority of people habituate or their tinnitus goes away. You don't necessarily need a cure in order to have a happy life again.

This is something that takes time, a lot of time, but better days will come. I'm both habituated now, and (though it's a little hard to say as it happened so gradually) I think my T has actually gotten quieter over time as well. You have to stick around, wait and see.

Don't miss out on all the good things to come, there is still SO much hope for you : )

 

[LadyDi]

@Danny Boy, so many people have come forward and offered encouragement, good advice, etc, that I don't know what to add. Obviously, everyone at TT is here for you. Like many others here have said, I was where you are a year ago. I honestly thought about ending my life, about just walking in front of a car and letting it be over. Today, I can't even imagine such thoughts. It's so hard when you are in the middle of panic and anxiety, you can't imagine ever feeling any other way. But trust me, IT WONT always be like this. It will get better and you will be so glad you did not act on your darkest thoughts.

I only will add:

If your doctors don't understand and won't help you with your anxiety, find other doctors. I had to go through a few of them until I built a team of doctors who care and will help me.

And: Surround yourself with friends and loved ones who want to support you, even if they can't quite understand what you are going through. Limit your contact with negative, unsupportive people.

Also: Many doctors and much research suggests that habituation is not necessarily dependent on loudness. People with incredibly loud T, including @Dr Nagler here at TT, have habituated.

 

[marqualler]

@Danny Boy You are loved, both by everybody here and your friends and family. I know it is hard and I know how you feel. Just know that when you feel that way, your feelings like that are not permanent, and for young folks like you and me, we have a lot of life left to live. Hugs, Danny.

 

[john2012]

with trobalt, dosage is critical
the european paper looks to 1200mmg/day as optimal
so it's good you increased dosage

what you need to do is keep the increase regular
to cement those changes

keep us posted

 

[BobDigi]

Hey Danny. I see you live in the UK too. If you feel like talking just inbox me and i'll give you my mobile number mate.

 

[valeri]

@Danny Boy

Have you made any enquiries about getting into Autifony trial?

 

[LeQuack]

After my latest bout with the fire alarm and the spike that is not settling down even after a week I also feel the same. I've often thought of suicide but I also thought of how instead of that that I could just travel to a nice exotic place, leave everything behind and just see if I feel any different. I mean like if I'm already at the point of not caring what's the worse that could happen. Just my two cents.

 

[S.withnell]

Hi Danny, I have been in the same boat as you last night I was very very disturbed and upset and saw no way out . I went to the hospital and they have help me with some meds and I'm getting help. They will help you and it will get better, I know it doesn't seem so now as I don't see any end at the moment but I look at think this! What does t stop me from doing really ? I can still go out , still play games, draw , eat watch to, think, breath and every thing else . Sleep is hard at the moment but I can still sleep after a good while. I think we can all get through this . Nothing is impossible now . Just believe in yourself and your really not alone !

I am in a bad mental state but the days do get better . Just keep busy and get help you need. We are all here to talk

 

[mick1987]

@Danny Boy Please don't give up, like others have said habituation is possible, if your getting some relief with trobalt then imagine what Autifony might do?...it could be a cure! Try and get on the trials.

If you are feeling suicidal please go to the hospital, you need support around you.

 

[Alex Senkowski]

I find that if all of my other senses are occupied with some pleasant activity, then the comfort dulls the severity of the T. You have a world of options just waiting for you out there; don't throw it all away before trying them.

 

[jeannie]

Danny Boy... hang in there!! hopefully a cure will come soon!! I struggle every day with this crap... as we all do... please don't do anything drastic!!!!

 

[Marlene]

Danny I'm just on site ,can't believe what I was reading ,we've all been in dark places Danny ,hey were still talking Danny ,think of it ,you go down that road there's no way back ,,me I'm here ,were all here Danny were keep on talking till the cows come home ,if you want . We will never leave you I promise ,take up the offer to talk face to face with ones on site .you know it makes sense ,I know you do ,I know to you don't want to do anything. It's a cry for help,so talk ,talk talk .
You I think live in Bristol ,so go along to hospital or phone the Samaritans first I would ,do your immediate family know how your thoughts have been. Tell them ,your girlfriend should have already done this ,told your family ,as she sees and hears what you ve said .phone BTA always someone on there phone ,phone ,talk to anyone ,Do It .
You got to make that step ,you can change things .get away from bad thoughts ,you need that help your wanting ,go ask for it .Its out there Danny It's here to Danny .Dont make this old mum sad .

 

[DutchGuy]

@Danny Boy

How are you doing now? I see that you're logged in.

Keep it up mate. Things only can get better!

 

[Robb]

Hey, guys/gals...I think I really want to end my life, this noise is killing me and trobalt only worked temporarily..I don't know how I will do it, but I must find a way...I just wanted to tell everyone, that I thank you, I thank you for having such a supportive community and to know that, I will be happy in death because I won't have this horrible noise in my head. Thanks everyone for your support and I hope one day a cure may be found, sadly it is too late for me.

Danny Boy it will get better over time! Really belief in this!

 

[Kopesy]

Please hold on Danny, I know these are horrible & lonely times & I also know that these are all just words on a screen but we're all people behind them & behind you. There will be little steps foward & trips, even falling backwards along the way, but that's how everything starts & eventually you'll look backwards & think "I've come a long way" It will happen if for now you keep looking forward. It's really upsetting to know that someone behind your words feels the way you feel. When the cure comes, & it will come, we'll all have to get together somewhere quiet & enjoy the silence

 

[I who love music]

We're really listening, Danny Boy. That's what we do here.

 

[SoulStation]

with trobalt, dosage is critical
the european paper looks to 1200mmg/day as optimal
so it's good you increased dosage

what you need to do is keep the increase regular
to cement those changes

keep us posted

Dude you have no clue. He knows that but cant get a good supply and so far we've had 1 " cure " out of a LOT of trialees ...its just not gonna happen imo

 

[Danny Boy]

Dude you have no clue. He knows that but cant get a good supply and so far we've had 1 " cure " out of a LOT of trialees ...its just not gonna happen imo

Well, I'm gonna keep on and on and on to my doctor. I know this stuff works and for pete sake I only needed it for a few months, it's not like I needed it for years...

 

[SoulStation]

Well, I'm gonna keep on and on and on to my doctor. I know this stuff works and for pete sake I only needed it for a few months, it's not like I needed it for years...

Hey Danny just wanted you to know that message wasn't directed at your it was towards @john2012 - but I will say I don't think this is going to cure anyone . it will just be something you'll have to take IMO. But I sure hope it does cure- I just think that it seems highly unlikely.

 

[Danny Boy]

Hey Danny just wanted you to know that message wasn't directed at your it was towards @john2012 - but I will say I don't think this is going to cure anyone . it will just be something you'll have to take IMO. But I sure hope it does cure- I just think that it seems highly unlikely.

I have tried 1200mg a day now, and my tinnitus has lowered. Although, it does make you drunk for a few hours, which could make these things addictive to certain people.

 

[Danny Boy]

Hey Danny just wanted you to know that message wasn't directed at your it was towards @john2012 - but I will say I don't think this is going to cure anyone . it will just be something you'll have to take IMO. But I sure hope it does cure- I just think that it seems highly unlikely.

However, the recommended dose for tinnitus is 1200mg, nobody seems to go up to that dose, I have and it's really doing wonders. Hopefully, I only need to be on that dose for one month and then boom, tinnitus is low for life. Just trying to be hopeful, if not I'll order off that website that 111 ordered off and confirmed is the real thing..It's actually cheaper anyway...It's 450 for 2 months supply...I checked how much in the UK 400mgx84 is and it's 674 pound for a 1 month's supply!

 

[Marlene]

Hi Danny ,glad your thinking straight .your get there.X

 

[Martin69]

The noise that kills...
Danny, good that you found relief with Trobalt.

I know, it is morning and things are more difficult then.
Sorry for negative rambling.

I see people here come and go.
I see people saying: "I can go for hours not recognizing my T."
I see people saying: "Your T will go away sooner or later."
I see people saying: "Everyone will habituate eventually."
I see people saying: "The sound will go into the background and you are no longer aware of it."
I see people saying: "On my loud days...."

But when I wake up, my T is there full-blast. High-pitched, loud, sounds like an electric power plant.
I don't have to look for it. My head is buzzing.

If I am lucky, I have a quieter day once in a month.
Please don't send me hugs or any tipps like do CBT, TRT and so on.
I just have an ultra-shrill sound in my head, a depression and I don't know how this all ends.
Is it really my attitude?

Sad, frustrated.
I wish everyone a good day.
Martin

PS: I will now take a long, hot shower and hope things look better afterwards.

 

[amandine]

@Marlene

I think that Danny Boy is now as high as a kite....not better just drugged out to maximum with trobalt....so not thinking straight at all - and when he stops taking it? what then? will he take this for life? so no it is not a good news story at all. Very depressing actually..

Hi Danny ,glad your thinking straight .your get there.X

 

[dboy]

@Marlene

I think that Danny Boy is now as high as a kite....not better just drugged out to maximum with trobalt....so not thinking straight at all - and when he stops taking it? what then? will he take this for life? so no it is not a good news story at all. Very depressing actually..

I just read through this thread and was shocked when I got to this comment. Danny Boy went from feeling suicidal to feeling hopeful and you say that is 'not good news' and 'depressing'. Did you learn nothing from all the support you yourself got here when you were desperate just a few weeks ago?

I personally want to say I find it very positive that Danny Boy is experiencing a benefit. The drug might not be perfect, but it is a signal of hope for the future for all of us, and I want to thank those who are brave enough to try it out.

 

[Nick the Swede]

@amandine, you are what we in Sweden call a "energiläcka". It means a person that sucks more energy than give.

 

[Marlene]

Amandine Just read your post ,Danny' s doing better ,don't care how he's doing it ,or for how long ,at least he's trying to draw back from how he was the other day ,give this youngster a break for heavens sake .
I agree with dboy and Nick ,so no need to repeat their post to you .
Remember Danny reads these post ,as do others who are not in a good place with T .

 

[Martin69]

I totally understand Danny. My T is today through the roof, unbearable.
I took Tavor only 6-7 times in 14 months. But today, it was too much. So I took one.
Like Danny, you have to weight what helps. My family is not helped if I look for the next train coming.
No one here wants to take Trobalt, benzos or any other drug. But if it gives you relief for some hours, it helps a lot.
But on the long run, we need something else. On days like today, I fear, habitation is as far away as moon from the earth.

 

[Telis]

The noise that kills...
Danny, good that you found relief with Trobalt.

I know, it is morning and things are more difficult then.
Sorry for negative rambling.

I see people here come and go.
I see people saying: "I can go for hours not recognizing my T."

The noise that kills...
Danny, good that you found relief with Trobalt.

I know, it is morning and things are more difficult then.
Sorry for negative rambling.

I see people here come and go.
I see people saying: "I can go for hours not recognizing my T."
I see people saying: "Your T will go away sooner or later."
I see people saying: "Everyone will habituate eventually."
I see people saying: "The sound will go into the background and you are no longer aware of it."
I see people saying: "On my loud days...."

But when I wake up, my T is there full-blast. High-pitched, loud, sounds like an electric power plant.
I don't have to look for it. My head is buzzing.

If I am lucky, I have a quieter day once in a month.
Please don't send me hugs or any tipps like do CBT, TRT and so on.
I just have an ultra-shrill sound in my head, a depression and I don't know how this all ends.
Is it really my attitude?

Sad, frustrated.
I wish everyone a good day.
Martin

PS: I will now take a long, hot shower and hope things look better afterwards.

Most likely people with minor T handing out this advise. Or maybe it was bad in their mind but they don't realize how bad it can get. T is tough because no one knows how bad or good the other persons is. You could be comparing apples to oranges, who knows. Tinnitus is not tinnitus...it really seems to vary A LOT. I don't believe I won't hear mine or get used to it like others. The only hope I have is to work around it, even if it's hell every minute for the rest of days. To not hear a sound and get totally used to it when it's so loud and painful it feels like my head is going to pop, or to get used to the constant stabbing/drilling ear pain seems a bit unrealistic to me. We are limited in what we can adapt to. I go out with ear plugs and my T gets insane, I can handle it for about one hour, after that hour I am exhausted (as my T goes 10x higher) to the point of collapse. If people can handle this they are tough, I mean they should be pro athletes. If they are that strong mentally and can ignore the body and push through every second of their lives, they should be out setting world records. Try not to judge yourself against others as you don't know it is an even playing field. Just do what you can with your situation.