There Is No Future

[snow47]

I'm 28 years old. I have this terrible sound since last year. It first started with blocked ears in cars and trains. After 2 months it was a very quiet sound. But after a few months the sound got louder. Now I have a very loud sound in my left ear. Sometimes I have headaches. I lost my concentration. I think there is one thing that I can do now. I'm gonna commit suicide. I don't have a choice. I do not enjoy my life any more. it's just panic now. I'm not married so no one will be injured. I just want peace. Before I have enjoyed from silence. My English language is weak. Sorry about that.

 

[glynis]

No don't do it.
Life does get better and your confidence, concentration and self worth will come back and social skills and find new loves in your life.
Tinnitus can be mental torture and our brains do adapt and filter out alot of it.

Getting support and medication and mental health support for depression and anxiety and talking to others with tinnitus will help you cope better.
You are not alone.

We are here for you around the clock and we do care.
Give life a chance even with tinnitus as how you view life now will change....lots of love glynis xxxxl

 

[snow47]

Thanks for that. But every morning I wake up, my terrible day starts. And every month my condition is worse. I'm scared of future. maybe my head explodes.

 

[glynis]

I totally understand I really do.
I have Menieres Disease and as well as all that its left me with hearing loss and sever Bilateral tinnitus that blasts 24/7 .
I'm under the hospital sever asthma unit with breathing problems so dealt a crap hand in life but-
I love my life and everyone in it and so blessed to have a great family and grandson.
We have no control over our health but in total control of making the most of our life and grab all the fun and love in it.
It might be a noisy life but push harder to enjoy it and only focus on all the positves .
I get down times but I know I deseve to be happy and make the most of my life and rest when my health makes me too.
Give life a chance and push hard to get what you want in life and with support you will...lots of love glynis

 

[snow47]

I'm sorry hear that. I hope you will be better. You know i'm moslem. but i don't belief god anymore. if he exist he response to my prays and my words. If he exist he doesn't ignore me.I think I'm not a bad guy.why we must suffer form this and others enjoys from their life.what is my guilt. where is justice. I hate from this world. For 28 years I've lived well. Even I didn't smoking. I Just loved my work.

 

[glynis]

Dont give up on your faith as I think we all go through tough times and you will come through this and be able to help others.
I have spoken and supported people on the phone with tinnitus with all religions around the world.
I know your life must seem in a dark place at the moment and carnt see any way out.
Support from family,friends,doctors,ENT,support groups a Tinnitus Talk and medication and taking therapy and sound therapy can help you .
Talking therapy is a great strength having people who understand.
I run a support group with another Lady every Wednesday Afternoon...lots of love glynis

 

[shadbek]

I'm sorry hear that. I hope you will be better. You know i'm moslem. but i don't belief god anymore. if he exist he response to my prays and my words. If he exist he doesn't ignore me.I think I'm not a bad guy.why we must suffer form this and others enjoys from their life.what is my guilt. where is justice. I hate from this world. For 28 years I've lived well. Even I didn't smoking. I Just loved my work.

Hey, my dear friend. Don't do anything stupid. I also suffer from sever tinnitus in my head and both of my ears, so I know how it feels to be struck by devastating, f***ing tinnitus. I thought of killing myself first. But I have two lovely daughters. I want them to grow up like other children, so I tried very hard to exist. A year passed and I seem to have habituated to the tinnitus. I almost live a normal life now, so don't give up so easily

 

[volsung37]

Give yourself some time snow. For the first 6 months of my tinnitus I was suicidal almost every day. Then although my noises were becoming worse and I was getting other symptoms like twitching ear muscles and eye twitching something changed. I started sleeping better even though the noise was loud. I started just getting on with life.
I can understand you losing faith in God but give yourself at least two years before you consider anything drastic. It will get better and you will look back at this time and be thankful you didn't take that action. Good luck my friend.

 

[snow47]

Thanks for your words.I think you are true good people.I hope all of you will be better soon.but i scare man. i really scare. I scare from dead too. but I scare form this more than dead.I know I'm weak. I think dead give me peace. I Think dead is one solution. But your words is logical, so I'll wait for future.I don't know anyone in my family or friend that have this illness. Thanks.

 

[glynis]

Happy to talk with you on the phone.
As your far away maybe arange to Skype chat if I can give you one to one support....just pm me and can arrange it....lots of love glynis

 

[snow47]

That's good idea. thanks

 

[MikeP505]

Hang in there Snow. This really does get easier to accept over time. You might feel weak but you can get stronger. This is hard to begin with. Takes years to truly adjust too. We would love to read some happy stories in the future from you. Don't give up!! Don't be scared!!

 

[PMc]

Snow47 ... believe me, you are already walking down the road to a better future!

That road can very often feel like a very long road ... and for me it has almost taken 1 year to feel 'normal' again. My tinnitus is still there if I listen-out for it, but for 99% of the time, it is just in the background, allowing me to get on with my life as I used to before all this began.

I understand everything you are saying about panic attacks ... headaches ... loss of concentration ... fear of the future ... the feeling that your life, as you knew it, has come to a sudden end ... but you, Snow47, are trying to do something about it by contacting Tinnitus Talk Support Forum! You are being brave and positive and you are looking for help! ... There is so much help online ... so please do not give-up!

All the people, above, are freely offering to help, because they all understand your feelings right now ... so please keep in touch with them ... your life is very, very precious.

I know you are Moslem and that I am a Christian, but please allow me to keep saying prayers for you to help you to improve and to see the light at the end of the tunnel, that will get nearer and nearer all the time!

And the wonderful thing is, you will be used to help others to overcome their awful fears in the not too distant future!

My prayers go out to you now, Snow47 ................................... Paul

 

[snow47]

Thanks. But If I have to live with this pain, why i live at all. I'm not a fan of this life. I have peace just when i am sleeping. Last year I near to married but this year I wanna die. this is like a scary dream.

 

[MikeP505]

My prayers go out to you now, Snow47 ................................... Paul

Well said Paul.

 

[snow47]

Thanks Paul and all of you. I am very sad that you have this illness.You are very good people. I don't know why god give you this pain. I wish i could do something for you. every thing. Wish i could give you my other healthy ear.I just wanna go.I'm tired. you don't believe.I'm very tired.

 

[MikeL1972]

Hi snow47,

Welcome to the site!

Please do not consider taking your own life, as that is in my book the ultimate sign of weakness. You see, life presents challenges to all of us. It is how we deal with them that builds our character and also our resilience! For example, how about the kids who came home from Iraq/Afghanistan with blown off limbs? Imagine being 24 years old and losing both arms or legs in a split second?!

You've had tinnitus for 5 months now and I have it for 7. In my case, I was fighting it for the first two weeks until I wised up and just accepted it. Once you accept it, your nervous system will gradually get used to it and dismiss it as not important. Sure, as I type this to you now, I hear it, but I simply do not pay attention to it.

You are only 28 and still have lots to do! (Not that I am old at 44, ha ha). Get married if that is your intent and raise a family. Live and enjoy life. Life will always have set backs, but we can overcome them!!

Best of luck!!

 

[snow47]

Hi Mikel. I don't know how to accept this. It change all the time. I feel my ear is blocked some times. My hearing decreased .and every month is gonna worse. Worst of all, I can't concentrate anymore. every thing is different from before. I'm not like before at all.

 

[MikeP505]

Hang in there. It really does get a little easier with time. You can trust us when we say this!!

 

[PMc]

This is all excellent advice being offered to you, Snow47 ... from people who have been through their personal agonies, and come out the other side ... Please do listen to these good people!

We have all felt like you do now ... But however hopeless it might seem right now, never, never give-up!

 

[Candy]

One day at a time @snow47 . Do everything u used to do (apart from noisy stuff). U will find that it will fade in the background on good days. I've had it for 4 months, some days are ok, some are not as it's sometimes louder...science is moving all the time so let's wait and see.
Also have u tried sound maskers for ur ears?

 

[snow47]

I use a few sound, but not work for me. your advice is great. I just know I live 28 year, and it was good. I know very men that live lower than me. I saw very things and study very things. I think my word is logical not emotional.
But I agree with you. If i hurry up maybe I mistake. So I wait and I feel better after speak with glynis member of here (she give me good information that I think can help me) and of course all of your posts. Thank you very much.

 

[MikeP505]

Stay strong my friend. Always remember everyone on here cares about you. We want to see you enjoy life as best you can. Life has changes, like seasons, but no one knows if and when a change will happen. Then we get this ringing, and sore ears and deafness. This is not the end of the world. It simply is your new life. Try things that reduce stress and anxiety, stop being negative and look for happiness no matter what life throws at you. We care brother. We love you. Get better.

 

[PMc]

Spot on, MikeP505 ... So True!!!

 

[Julien87]

"Cause of Tinnitus:
I Think pressure to jaw."

So maybe it can be fixed. Have you seen a specialist for jaw-related issues? (TMJ problem maybe?)

Anyway, hang in there

 

[snow47]

That was my fault. My left jaw have a few problem. For a week I rubbed the back teeth together. I did that just for habit.
so i felt fatigue in my left jaw. I think that was time that my ear started to a few blocking. If I have this problem by the accident may be I could accepted. But it was my fault.

 

[Samantha R]

@snow47 I am sorry you are feeling this way.
Blaming yourself will not get you anywhere you had no way of knowing this would happen to you.
I am currently seeing a TMJ dentist and having a night guard fitted to help with grinding and clenching, maybe you could think about doing this also? I have physio on my jaw also, that seemed to help a little.
I mask my tinnitus a lot and it helps a lot as hearing it causes me great anxiety - I hate it and have been feeling similar to you.
I have three very small children, a 2 year old and 3 month old twins so I must be strong for them.
Please give yourself time. We all know how you feel.
I am glad Glynis could help you, she is amazing.

 

[snow47]

All of you are amazing. I couldn't tell about my problem to my family because I don't want others change their mind about me. You know. I just said to my mother and I regret about that. She is very sad. I'm glad find this place. I can easily talk. I think my cochlea have been damaged by pressure. but I'm going to talk to my dentist.but I don't have many hope about that.

 

[PMc]

Well done, snow47 ... I agree with you, because what you say is true: ... all of these people are amazing!

Yes, all of these people on your Forum have a great big heart for you, and that is why they are writing to you ... They want you to know that they, too, have been through every part of those dark times, as you are experiencing now, when they realised that they had Tinnitus, also.

Make sure you have all your medical checks, and do visit your dentist ... but never, never forget that there is life beyond Tinnitus, Snow ... life in all its fullness ... and we can testify to that!

We are with you on every step of your journey! ....................... Paul

 

[Martin69]

@snow47 You early in this game and you are young. There are good chances it will go away. It is a tough time. Severe T takes all our strength and energy to push through. We are here for you.