Hi all,
New to this forum and new to tinnitus. Sorry for the long post, not least because I feel I'm maybe jumping on here too quickly, given how long many others have been living with their tinnitus, but I guess I'm just seeking reassurance and maybe there is some early days advice that might actually help.
I'm UK based, and my tinnitus has resulted from a "training incident" that took place at my newish work on 13th May. I was being shown a lock up/unlock procedure by a senior member of staff which went thusly...
When demonstrating how to set the intruder alarm in a particular space the manager instructed that we needed to enter the alarm code into the panel and then stand completely still (so as not to trigger any of the room sensors) whilst waiting for the alarm to arm, which she said would take a few seconds. After entering the code, the alarm horn began to sound, and I stood still as per the instructions, not wanting to interfere with the setting process. I was positioned immediately in front of the alarm horn, and the sound was very uncomfortable, but I took the manager at her word that this was a quick and necessary part of setting the alarm (albeit very strange). I didn't want to even move my hands to cover my ears lest I prevent the alarm setting by activating a sensor. The horn continued to sound and the alarm did not set. I carried on standing there stock still like an idiot feeling a bit panicked but not wanting to mess up the process when being shown it for the first time.
After what I think was about 45 - 60 seconds of the alarm horn sounding the manager ushered us out the area by the panel and shut the door to the space, at which point the arming process completed. She then took me back into the space to show me the process of disarming the alarm once it's been set, which was a quick and straightforward process.
With hindsight, I now realize that this person was trying to save time (albeit literally seconds) in demonstrating the arm and disarm process, and she thought we could just remain by the panel and carry out both actions in one go without having to walk out the door 1 metre away. However it seems obvious now that the alarm sensors detected we hadn't moved, which caused the horn to sound continuously and prevented the arming process from completing.
Since the incident I have been left with a high-pitched ringing in my left ear, which is still persisting now. It hasn't changed in pitch, tone, or volume as far as I can tell. In fact it feels like it's gotten worse, and my head feels a bit thick, but that may just be because I'm obsessing about it and repeatedly swallowing/yawning to try and make the sound disappear. I'm upset and furious with myself (a fully fledged 40 year old adult) for allowing this to happen to me, and equally furious with the manager.
I have reported it to the head of the organisation and written it up in the official accident book. The organisation has been quick to be supportive and encouraged me to get rest and visit the doctors etc. I have done so, and according to the nurse (no doc appointment available) my ear doesn't show any visible signs of damage. I also visited an audiologist who says I am not showing any evidence of hearing damage.
Since the incident the organisation has had an engineer in and they say he recorded the db level of the alarm at 98 (I've asked for copies of the report). They got him to reduce the level, but they keep saying things like "perfectly within safe levels" and "only exposed for a minute" "up to 15 minutes exposure is acceptable" etc which makes me feel like they're trying to push the idea that they have no responsibility if my tinnitus carries on. And maybe I just have to accept that they wouldn't be deemed responsible and I was just an idiot to follow the instructions. But the idea that someone could safely listen to that hideous shrill alarm for up to 15 minutes with no ill effects expected seem ludicrous to me.
Apart from the anxiety that's it's never going to stop, it's not really preventing me sleeping. The anxiety means I'm taking longer to drop off, but the sound itself isn't really having much impact as far as I know. Each morning since it happened I wake up and hear it and I feel sick that this might be forever because I foolishly followed stupid directions from someone. And every night I go to sleep praying it will be gone in the morning.
The issue is compounded for me by the fact I'm a singer and musician (music is actually something I make money from), and the idea that I might have permanently compromised my left ear/shouldn't do music/go to gigs anymore or risk worsening my case sends me into palpitations. As a musician, I know how hearing damage can be an occupational hazard, and how easily it can occur. I've always been so careful not to expose myself to unnecessary loud noise.
I just feel a bit sad right now.