Tinnitus Has Taken My Life Away

[Dan Turner]

There may be some no


ise abatement (noise camouflage) to consider....for me, it's a rock within a few feet of a mountain river in North Georgia. When I sit down on that rock....the constant sound of the river that close and that loud overwhelms my tinnitus noise so I can just enjoy the sound of something else for as long as I feel is necessary.

While in the mountains, I can go to a cabin and sit on the porch hanging over the side of a steep drop off....the sound of the wind is one thing, but rustling leaves, pines and trees will also prove distracting but peaceful.

I always know when I've hit home....I usually doze out within minutes of getting comfortable and let the sounds take me along.

The only thing that stops people from finding their own places to find relaxation....is sitting inside, typing and reading notes on the Tinnitus boards...the very thing that you're trying to forget.

You'll find your own sweet spots around that helps you cope on those days that you need a break. It's not here.

Have a great weekend and hit the malls...the noise and people there will prove to be a distraction!

Dan Turner
Conyers, Ga

 

[Neenie]

True. Logically I understand that by posting here and thinking about it is not helping it at all. Yet, I come here because if I complain about it to the other normal people they dont get it and you all do.

 

[2014winner]

Neenie: you´ve just written my thoughts with this post !!! i´m scared to live, and i´m scared to die... i´m busy gathering as many tablets as i can and hide them, it calms me down knowing that at least i´ve got a way out, and i´m not trapped if i so wish !! hopefully i´ll never take them, how could i do that to my family and close friends who love me, and me them !! so for now i´ll play the waiting game... waiting for it to get better like so many people on here say it will !!! i´ll wait until i start to accept that this is it for the rest of my life !!! i´ll wait for the day that i don´t care about it anymore !!! So Neenie i hope that you will wait with me too... let´s play the waiting game together, let´s know that we can get out of this hell if we want to, but let´s wait for the day that we just don´t want to, to me that´s something worth waiting for... keep going for as long as it takes Neenie, with the comforting thoughts of " i can get off this ride any time i want to " that gives us control of this situation, and for me i feel like i do have a choice... take it or leave it !! for now i´ll take it, i don´t know for how long? but like i said i´ll wait, because one day peace just might come to me, where as death will take my choices away, and i like having choices !!! i´m on this ride with you Neenie. xx

Carol: Tinnitus is a difficult ride to take....... I read the research about the importance f having the excitatory effect in the brain having to be calmed down, and yet I drank too much caffeine today. I shoud not have done that, but felt fatigued and didn't want to let family and close friends down.

I am optimistic about life.

I wish that I could replace my ears and auditory system. Maybe stem cells someday.
Please be hopeful.

 

[2014winner]

Most people use this forum for support or to vent. However, a few of us do go the extra mile in terms of looking for cures. Look for my future updates - perhaps one them will be worthwhile reading. You never know.

Do not give up, at the edge.

 

[jes]

Hey Neenie wait a minute Mine is Terrible,but after I got widex zen to go hearingadd with different marskersounds
I can relax.A lot of help is on the way but we have to wait a little and that is hard with this demon in the head.
It is not nice to sit on the other side and look at remedyes and cures for T .Use marskers and fight especialy at 4 oclock in the morning torture.

 

[Neenie]

Thanks guys. Well I've been accepted into Masters in Audiology so I will spend my life fighting for a treatment until I find one. I dunno. Maybe studying Audiology is not the best coz it will make me focused on ears and stuff. And it's super expensive, and intense, I'm scared!

 

[2014winner]

Thanks guys. Well I've been accepted into Masters in Audiology so I will spend my life fighting for a treatment until I find one. I dunno. Maybe studying Audiology is not the best coz it will make me focused on ears and stuff. And it's super expensive, and intense, I'm scared!

Neenie, it is terrific, I think, that you are entering the field of Audiology. How long does the program take?

 

[Paul D]

Great analogy by Dan T above. Neenie, if it is Tinnitus, you will, over time, develop internal coping mechanisms to get you through the day, week, or sometimes longer with little relief. I too was in a state of semi-panic the first six months, but over time came to recognize the symptoms and their affect on me hour to hour, day to day. I've come to accept that I'll have good days that sometimes stretch out for a while, but that the battle inside my head will most likely continue on a daily basis, sometimes so severe that it overshadows everything I do. But even with T omnipresent at low to moderate levels, I've learned to push it off into the background most days and go about my daily living. When it ramps up there's not much to do but endure and not panic; it will subside again at least to the point where I can function, sometimes soon, sometimes in a few days to a couple weeks. Good luck!

 

[LeQuack]

Hope you find a cure for us in the future, other than a brain transplant.

 

[Neenie]

Masters in Audiology is 2 yrs, plus 350 hrs of placement, plus thesis. Eeeeep! So much work!

 

[Tenna]

Masters in Audiology sounds very exciting You know, surely it can emphasize a focus onto your ears, but fear of starting a new education is event present for people without t too. Think about it, you've went through educational steps before and learning new things and putting yourself out there is crazy nervewrecking, but you've dealth with it Everything you've done in your life to this point, has been overcoming new scary situations. I remember you spoke about cbt not working on you, but really, you've done it before A masters in audiology sounds super exciting, and hey, you might even (not this cheesy but very legit point!) get to help others in similar situations. I've heard of people valueing getting to help others

 

[NeoM]

Masters in Audiology is 2 yrs, plus 350 hrs of placement, plus thesis. Eeeeep! So much work!

350 hours of placement? What's that?

 

[Neenie]

Placement is where you have to work as a trainee Audiologist. I think we do 3 placements in total before I graduate.

 

[Lynnette]

If you become an audiologist and develop a cure for tinnitus you'll be one rich woman-all of us on the forum will be your first customers...no need to even advertise your service

 

[Neenie]

haha, yer, if i manage to work it out, you'll be the first to know!

 

[2014winner]

Ha, I have had tinnitus for something like fifteen years. I have already tried the tinntius masker-- had tinnitus regardless. I am actually a contact for support for ATA members, and at one time was a support group meeting coordinator for my georgrahic area. Nonetheless, I have it still.
Once I got on Tinnitus Talk, I found a great group of people who took T seriously. I chose the screenname 2014Winner because I still have hope that there will be something in the future that can get rid of or change how T affects us.

 

[Emily]

I'm right there with you at the moment... It's a scary place to be...

 

[2014winner]

Yeah, it is a scary place to be. I was researching cochlear implants and stem cell therapy six months ago. I vote for having Neeny treat us until this stuff is covered by our health insurance. Anyone else?

 

[LeQuack]

Where's assisted suicide when you need it.

 

[Neenie]

Just hand in there. 2 Years and I finish my Masters in Audiolgy during which I will try my absolute best to work this out for you guys. There's gotta be a better answer than TRT right?

 

[billie48]

Neenie: you´ve just written my thoughts with this post !!! i´m scared to live, and i´m scared to die... i´m busy gathering as many tablets as i can and hide them, it calms me down knowing that at least i´ve got a way out, and i´m not trapped if i so wish !! hopefully i´ll never take them, how could i do that to my family and close friends who love me, and me them !! so for now i´ll play the waiting game... waiting for it to get better like so many people on here say it will !!! i´ll wait until i start to accept that this is it for the rest of my life !!! i´ll wait for the day that i don´t care about it anymore !!! So Neenie i hope that you will wait with me too... let´s play the waiting game together, let´s know that we can get out of this hell if we want to, but let´s wait for the day that we just don´t want to, to me that´s something worth waiting for... keep going for as long as it takes Neenie, with the comforting thoughts of " i can get off this ride any time i want to " that gives us control of this situation, and for me i feel like i do have a choice... take it or leave it !! for now i´ll take it, i don´t know for how long? but like i said i´ll wait, because one day peace just might come to me, where as death will take my choices away, and i like having choices !!! i´m on this ride with you Neenie. xx

Nice post. So true. Waiting and letting Mother time do its healing to help the habituation process is a good strategy. At least you have that hope which can greatly reduce the anxiety level. A great part of our tinnitus suffering is mental. So if you can have a better control on the mental side of thing, you are holding your ground on the battle with tinnitus. A few years back I suffered immensely with ultra high pitch tinnitus and piercingly hurtful hyperacusis. These two alien beasts literally opened the flood gate of relentless anxiety and panic attacks on me on auto mode. With so much suffering coming at me at one time, they overload my nerves and honestly I thought like Neenie that I would never be able to live with that condition. I was on Ativan, Prozac, sleeping pills just so I could survive each long day. And at night when I tried to sleep, if I could sleep at all, I often wished I would never wake up to repeat the daily tortures again.

Well, never say never. Time does do its healing miracle. Today I am back to normal, drug free and living a full, enjoyable and abundant life. Tinnitus somehow has lost its tyranny over me. My brain has got used to or hardened to the repeated ultra high pitch ringing, and now it just fades out the ringing from my consciousness when I am busy with enjoying my life. So to the newer sufferers. Never say never. Don't trust your current state of thinking which is highly distorted by tinnitus suffering. It will get better with time. Believe it. Have hope and confidence that you will be well in the future. So remember to give time enough time. God bless.

Billie

 

[billie48]

There may be some no


ise abatement (noise camouflage) to consider....for me, it's a rock within a few feet of a mountain river in North Georgia. When I sit down on that rock....the constant sound of the river that close and that loud overwhelms my tinnitus noise so I can just enjoy the sound of something else for as long as I feel is necessary.

While in the mountains, I can go to a cabin and sit on the porch hanging over the side of a steep drop off....the sound of the wind is one thing, but rustling leaves, pines and trees will also prove distracting but peaceful.

I always know when I've hit home....I usually doze out within minutes of getting comfortable and let the sounds take me along.

The only thing that stops people from finding their own places to find relaxation....is sitting inside, typing and reading notes on the Tinnitus boards...the very thing that you're trying to forget.

You'll find your own sweet spots around that helps you cope on those days that you need a break. It's not here.

Have a great weekend and hit the malls...the noise and people there will prove to be a distraction!

Dan Turner
Conyers, Ga

I like your reference to using the sounds of a river as abatement of the tinnitus sound. In fact that was what I did. During my initial days a few years back, I slept by the shower and I turned on the faucet too. I had the water running the whole night just so I could try to sleep. Luckily here in Vancouver Canada, we pay a flat annual fee for water. Haha. When I decided to head out to outdoor, I picked the rapids of our salmon rivers and fished there all day. I would use that high frequency water sound to soothe my ultra high pitch tinnitus. I also imagined someday I would own a house near to a salmon river rapid, so I could sit at the backyard to read newspaper while the background sound of the rapids can soothe out the tinnitus. We need to seek out alternative ways to mask the tinnitus, even just partially for some of you, such that you will be more at ease that there are ways to diminish the effect of the mad ringing.

 

[billie48]

What a fantastic post ... you have made me feel so much better,and given me so much hope ... thank you Billie.

You are most welcome, Carol. Yes, there are lots of success stories like me. I am not unique.

I have one of the worst ultra high pitch tinnitus, so much higher than any sirens. Take a dentist drill and multiply that pitch by 10 times or more. It is such a mad scream raging and resonating in my head with such condensed energy, like a high energy laser beam against the dark sky. As I am typing, it is swirling and screaming in my head. A few years back, this mad sound drove me near insane and suicidal. Then severe hyperacusis followed with its own brand of limiting, piercingly hurtful & glassy sensation. I was so fearful of this sound. When I played a youtube clip matching the pitch of my tinnitus to my family, they all screamed, covered their ears and ran away fast. What an unearthly pitched ringing which went on 7/24. Before tinnitus hit I also suffered decades of anxiety and panic disorders, so much so that a little challenge in life can cause panic attacks. So these two alien beasts of tinnitus and hyperacusis literally opened the flood gate of 'hell' of anxiety and panic attacks. So on top of the T & H horrible sensations, I suffered also severe symptoms of anxiety & panic attacks hourly and daily, things like chest pain, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, phobia, profuse sweating, headaches of all kinds, head & skull with pinning sensations, dizziness, feeling disoriented and fearful of the unknown, despair, feeling gloom and doom looming, and of course severe depression and sleeplessness. That is why I needed meds to control these symptoms daily so that I could survive the day and I prayed hard that they could stop the panic attacks.

That was how bad my situation was. Today my brain is hardened to this sound. It doesn't react negatively nor emotionally to the same high pitch sound any more. It ignores it most of the day. If a panic prone person like me can survive and recover from severe tinnitus suffering over time, by keeping a positive attitude and by following the collective wisdom of kind members of support forums, by getting back to living and enjoying what I used to enjoy, why shouldn't you? Try you best to stop worrying about your tinnitus now and don't project a catastrophic future with your current distorted thinking. Don't provide more fuel for the tinnitus bully to perpetuate its control over you. In time you can get better. Never say never. Have a great new year. God speeds your recovery.

 

[billie48]

Thank you Sherri. I spent most of my time there, but I will now visit other forums to help out newer tinnitus sufferers who need some hope and reassurances that they can get better over time. Tinnitus has given me so much suffering initially that if my posts can help the newer sufferers to avoid or reduce their suffering, it will be all worth it.

 

[Sherri786]

@billie48 , you're most welcome.
That's exactly how I feel, my t is much better now, but I feel compelled to hang around this forum and give a few words of comfort to new comers. This site was such a life saver for me and some forum members specially Karen was nothing but an angel for me. Take care , wish you all the best for 2014.

 

[Dan Turner]

I like your reference to using the sounds of a river as abatement of the tinnitus sound. In fact that was what I did. During my initial days a few years back, I slept by the shower and I turned on the faucet too. I had the water running the whole night just so I could try to sleep. Luckily here in Vancouver Canada, we pay a flat annual fee for water. Haha. When I decided to head out to outdoor, I picked the rapids of our salmon rivers and fished there all day. I would use that high frequency water sound to soothe my ultra high pitch tinnitus. I also imagined someday I would own a house near to a salmon river rapid, so I could sit at the backyard to read newspaper while the background sound of the rapids can soothe out the tinnitus. We need to seek out alternative ways to mask the tinnitus, even just partially for some of you, such that you will be more at ease that there are ways to diminish the effect of the mad ringing.

Sorry for the delay in my response...but everyone with T should close the books; turn off the blogs; etc. and try to find what works for them. It was by circumstance from years earlier that I found river water noise as a great "equalizer" as you can't control it....you simply want to be enveloped by it. Once I obtained Tinnitus...or more correctly, recognized that it was there to stay...I remembered those years and sessions sitting on the rocks adjacent to a North Georgia river.

Early on....it was a great relief and this many years later...it's still a great place to be. Wind noise is a great release as well...between the wind against the ears, the sound of creaking tree trunks, tree limbs and leave pretty much does the same thing to me (the key here...."to me")...but it's not as much the constant as sitting on the river rocks.

I had driven to the east coast last April nearby to Jacksonville to see what ocean waves would do...unfortunately, the surf wasn't enough....which is a shame, because between the horizons and bikinis...the scenery was great! I'll be on the look out for a more active rocky shore that doesn't have sand to dampen the crashing.

Whatever the source...it needs to be consistently loud and full time; I'm sure there are other natural spots that will serve to be the distraction that everyone needs on the occasion....wind noise against your motorcycle helmet, or ambient road and wind noise to a rag top jeep ride. However, as cold as it is here today...all of the above may have to wait a few weeks.<G

Dan Turner
Conyers, Ga

 

[SteveToHeal]

Nice post. So true. Waiting and letting Mother time do its healing to help the habituation process is a good strategy. At least you have that hope which can greatly reduce the anxiety level. A great part of our tinnitus suffering is mental. So if you can have a better control on the mental side of thing, you are holding your ground on the battle with tinnitus. A few years back I suffered immensely with ultra high pitch tinnitus and piercingly hurtful hyperacusis. These two alien beasts literally opened the flood gate of relentless anxiety and panic attacks on me on auto mode. With so much suffering coming at me at one time, they overload my nerves and honestly I thought like Neenie that I would never be able to live with that condition. I was on Ativan, Prozac, sleeping pills just so I could survive each long day. And at night when I tried to sleep, if I could sleep at all, I often wished I would never wake up to repeat the daily tortures again.

Well, never say never. Time does do its healing miracle. Today I am back to normal, drug free and living a full, enjoyable and abundant life. Tinnitus somehow has lost its tyranny over me. My brain has got used to or hardened to the repeated ultra high pitch ringing, and now it just fades out the ringing from my consciousness when I am busy with enjoying my life. So to the newer sufferers. Never say never. Don't trust your current state of thinking which is highly distorted by tinnitus suffering. It will get better with time. Believe it. Have hope and confidence that you will be well in the future. So remember to give time enough time. God bless.

Billie

Thanks Billie

This gave me hope "Today I am back to normal, drug free and living a full, enjoyable and abundant life. Tinnitus somehow has lost its tyranny over me."

I wish this day would come sooner, rather than later! I did it once before, 14 odd years ago! Now its back :-(
I don't remember back then, how long it took to habituate exactly and what I did exactly to get there. We try so many things in that initial period. I just remember it not being a problem for 90% of that 14 years. So probably after a year... It became un-intrusive and my life became manageable. Press play on the Life button again. Right now, its on Pause.

I'm 4 months into this bout of T. I'm praying that I get back to normal too. I hear you about the just forgetting about it. I think I could achieve that once again, if I sort out my vertigo. That seems to have come back. I'll report back on my progress.

S

 

[Neenie]

Week two of Audiology done. Next semester we are doing an entire unit on tinnitus <grins and can't waits!!....>. I already did all the pre reading and haha i already knew all of it! I bet all of you would pass that unit also. Anway, its really hard doing uni in a quiet room 8-5pm every day. I go progressively more mad as the day goes on. Ah well. I'm almost at the point where I just dont care anymore...but then I remember that i actually do care. Sigh. Anyway, im rambling and my brain has turned to mush with all the study and all I wanted to say is that I still read all your posts I just dont have much time to reply, but im still here!

 

[Vkis]

do you study T in univercity?

 

[mikey13]

Well,look at the "bright side" of this - you have so much work to do,studying,testing,etc., that you shouldn't have much time to focus on your T. !