Tinnitus & Hyperacusis Make It Impossible to Find a Girlfriend!

[Christophe_85]

Since acquiring tinnitus AND hyperacusis, my life is way more complicated regarding the emotional impact.

I really cannot enjoy life as before, everywhere people or music are too loud for me. And even if I stay most of the time at home watching TV, I almost need to tune down the sound every time.

I was already not having lots of possibilities with women before this shit happened in my life. I have had 2 small experiences and I saw that women (people in general) don't want to support someone who is hyper sensitive with noise...

Plus I take antidepressants and I don't want to stop taking them because I couldn't stand my life otherwise. And the main side effect is the difficulty to have an erection: Women were also fed up about it.

The easiest way would be not to want any relationship anymore but at 35 this is difficult to accept for me.

 

[Stacken77]

I think we should try to work on accepting this fate as much as possible and move on, and if things greatly improve down the line, we may reevaluate and pursue the options which are available. I had a very strong dream of starting a family, but my severe sensitivity to sound forced me to reevaluate, and while it was painful, I'm now at a place of acceptance. My only focus now is to earn enough money for a property in the countryside, then a pet may be my friend. Try to find a similar goal or dream and dedicate yourself to it.

I'm very sorry to hear about your sensitivity, and while my message may not bring much comfort, do know that I've gone though the same thoughts. I believe you can find other things that can give lasting happiness.

Wish you well,
Stacken

 

[PeteJ]

I hear ya. Imho, every year that goes by, you suffer with tinnitus or whatever you have and that 'part of life' gets harder and more hopeless.

Imho, for guys, women don't want that "inconvenience" and why, when they can choose someone who doesn't have that condition.

I believe some guys here broke up with their so and my immediate suspicion is they don't want to deal with "us." It probably goes both ways but I think I am flexible and always has been.

Sorry to be a downer. I believe I am a realist and can't see it a different way.

End of rant.

 

[AVIYT]

There's plenty of girls understanding of it, and even some who suffer from it themselves. Some people have milder tinnitus but will understand. Focus on yourself, improve what you can, distract and Tinder or quiet places pickup is the best bet since clubs, festivals, events and bars are out of the picture.

Meeting girls and dating is tougher, but I'm in a relationship where my partner is supportive. Previous girlfriend knew me before tinnitus and after, was supportive too.

Not only that, but I also experimented with anti-depressants (part of the reason I'm in this mess now!) and had other issues. None of that stopped me from finding someone. Did it make it tougher? Sure, since I can't even talk normally on the streets without noise cancelling headphones or go to the cinema or whatever, but you make the best of it.

 

[Snake]

What hurts even more is that I already experienced love during the worst time with my tinnitus, I know how it is not to be alone with this shit, I felt that someone is "in my world", I've had someone that I could go to even in the middle of the night and just hug until morning. She said that no matter how bad it's going to get she will be there; I was proven wrong just a month later. Everything was a lie, one big lie, still can't get over it as there's no-one to replace her in my memory. That would help for sure but with tinnitus? FML.

Without tinnitus maybe I would not have this geriatric urge for someone to look after me (because I didn't have it that much before my tinnitus get so bad or before I got tinnitus as a kid). But my tinnitus is so brutal, I just don't know. I need someone that would help to keep my sanity in check.

It's generally a BAD thing to get addicted to someone that way because if she/he goes away you're left with nothing. At the same time, what can we do? I think that disabled people (you can hate it but severe tinnitus is a disability, hyperacusis too) will always get addicted to someone, it's just impossible not to when everyday is a pain & struggle and you find someone that makes you want to struggle for another day because you can see her or him.

 

[Christophe_85]

There's plenty of girls understanding of it, and even some who suffer from it themselves. Some people have milder tinnitus but will understand. Focus on yourself, improve what you can, distract and Tinder or quiet places pickup is the best bet since clubs, festivals, events and bars are out of the picture.

Meeting girls and dating is tougher, but I'm in a relationship where my partner is supportive. Previous girlfriend knew me before tinnitus and after, was supportive too.

Not only that, but I also experimented with anti-depressants (part of the reason I'm in this mess now!) and had other issues. None of that stopped me from finding someone. Did it make it tougher? Sure, since I can't even talk normally on the streets without noise cancelling headphones or go to the cinema or whatever, but you make the best of it.

You are lucky and this is good for you!

I have very few opportunities to meet new people and all the women are already in a relationship... And I tried some dating websites but got nothing from them, except for on "Date in Asia" but you know... LOL.

Actually I already had other issues way before tinnitus and now it's more complicated than before because it added a new issue... Worst is hyperacousis for sure!

I really know that I am not attractive because of all of these issues, but it is very difficult sometimes to accept the fact that it would be easier to stay single and live my life alone.

 

[Christophe_85]

I hear ya. Imho, every year that goes by, you suffer with tinnitus or whatever you have and that 'part of life' gets harder and more hopeless.

Imho, for guys, women don't want that "inconvenience" and why, when they can choose someone who doesn't have that condition.

I believe some guys here broke up with their so and my immediate suspicion is they don't want to deal with "us." It probably goes both ways but I think I am flexible and always has been.

Sorry to be a downer. I believe I am a realist and can't see it a different way.

End of rant.

This is my experience, women were not ok with all my issues... And especially with hyperacousis as they couldn't understand it while watching TV for example...

And I cannot count on other points to be interesting in a long term relationship... Usually I am ok with that and try to cope with it... But sometimes I feel the need of being with a woman...

 

[Exit]

It's very common with chronic disease to have problems with relationships. I'm over 40 now and my interest for having a partner / family plummeted to bottom when ear problems came on top of everything else...

If you're really interested you'll find someone but it will take a lot more effort when we're as restricted as we are. You look nice so that will make it a little easier.

Hugs.

 

[dan]

This is my experience, women were not ok with all my issues... And especially with hyperacousis as they couldn't understand it while watching TV for example...

And I cannot count on other points to be interesting in a long term relationship... Usually I am ok with that and try to cope with it... But sometimes I feel the need of being with a woman...

Move to Russia or Ukraine, you will have a new hot woman every 2 weeks. Follow the Alpha male lifestyle, that way a woman will never have enough time to complain. Look on YouTube "Alpha male strategies"... otherwise it's MGTOW for life in USA.

 

[Exit]

Move to Russia or Ukraine, you will have a new hot woman every 2 weeks. Follow the Alpha male lifestyle, that way a woman will never have enough time to complain. Look on YouTube "Alpha male strategies"... otherwise it's MGTOW for life in USA.

I'm a little rusty... what's MGTOW?

I don't think it will work.

2 weeks are plentiful for a woman to complain (loud)... :/

 

[Steph1710]

There's plenty of girls understanding of it, and even some who suffer from it themselves. Some people have milder tinnitus but will understand. Focus on yourself, improve what you can, distract and Tinder or quiet places pickup is the best bet since clubs, festivals, events and bars are out of the picture.

Meeting girls and dating is tougher, but I'm in a relationship where my partner is supportive. Previous girlfriend knew me before tinnitus and after, was supportive too.

Not only that, but I also experimented with anti-depressants (part of the reason I'm in this mess now!) and had other issues. None of that stopped me from finding someone. Did it make it tougher? Sure, since I can't even talk normally on the streets without noise cancelling headphones or go to the cinema or whatever, but you make the best of it.

This is such a positive post! I love it! Well done you.

And you're right. There is people out there who understand our conditions. Sure it is harder to find someone, but it isn't impossible.

I mean look how many people are on this forum - there's thousands of us! And we are all pretty much in the same shitty boat.

Keep up the positivity!

Steph

 

[Steph1710]

MGTOW?

Men Going Their Own Way.

I think it includes woman hating, and wanking into old socks... Or clean ones?

You would fit right in @Exit

 

[Exit]

Men Going Their Own Way.

I think it includes woman hating, and wanking into old socks... Or clean ones?

You would fit right in @Exit

I hate you!

Then I'm actually OMGTOW!

Old men going their own way!

Now excuse me I have a rerun of Simpsons to watch!

 

[Steph1710]

I hate you!

 

[Exit]

I think we've lost the author by now...

Sorry @Christophe_85

 

[PeteJ]

Move to Russia or Ukraine, you will have a new hot woman every 2 weeks. Follow the Alpha male lifestyle, that way a woman will never have enough time to complain. Look on YouTube "Alpha male strategies"... otherwise it's MGTOW for life in USA.

Going for Russian or Ukrainian women would be more interesting but I don't think most would accept the "tinnitus" limitations?

Can severe tinnitus sufferers even go on a jet? Isn't that loud? Then you have to be vaccinated?

For the rich tinnitus sufferers, you can always offer one of the women to come to you?

/End of j/k

 

[dan]

Going for Russian or Ukrainian women would be more interesting but I don't think most would accept the "tinnitus" limitations?

Can severe tinnitus sufferers even go on a jet? Isn't that loud? Then you have to be vaccinated?

For the rich tinnitus sufferers, you can always offer one of the women to come to you?

/End of j/k

Yes a lot of them are very considerate when it comes to men...

I have a thread about choosing the right aircraft for tinnitus. Definitely stay away from Boeing jets.

The new Airbus jets should be tolerable with double protection in business class in the front of the plane.

As of yet, you don't have to be vaccinated to travel to Europe, just need to do a PCR test but this may change soon so time is of the essence if you want to remain unvaccinated.

It's nearly impossible for them to get a visa to Canada. USA is doable but Canada has draconian entry requirements.

 

[Christophe_85]

Move to Russia or Ukraine, you will have a new hot woman every 2 weeks. Follow the Alpha male lifestyle, that way a woman will never have enough time to complain. Look on YouTube "Alpha male strategies"... otherwise it's MGTOW for life in USA.

Ahah no thanks, I prefer staying in Switzerland...

Even if I stay single forever...

 

[Christophe_85]

I think we've lost the author by now...

Sorry @Christophe_85

No it's ok, I don't come on Tinnitus Talk a lot these days/months so no worries!

Thank you for your support!

 

[Christophe_85]

What hurts even more is that I already experienced love during the worst time with my tinnitus, I know how it is not to be alone with this shit, I felt that someone is "in my world", I've had someone that I could go to even in the middle of the night and just hug until morning. She said that no matter how bad it's going to get she will be there; I was proven wrong just a month later. Everything was a lie, one big lie, still can't get over it as there's no-one to replace her in my memory. That would help for sure but with tinnitus? FML.

Without tinnitus maybe I would not have this geriatric urge for someone to look after me (because I didn't have it that much before my tinnitus get so bad or before I got tinnitus as a kid). But my tinnitus is so brutal, I just don't know. I need someone that would help to keep my sanity in check.

It's generally a BAD thing to get addicted to someone that way because if she/he goes away you're left with nothing. At the same time, what can we do? I think that disabled people (you can hate it but severe tinnitus is a disability, hyperacusis too) will always get addicted to someone, it's just impossible not to when everyday is a pain & struggle and you find someone that makes you want to struggle for another day because you can see her or him.

Hello, sorry for my late answer!

Thank you for your message, actually I really don't want to be addicted to someone, I find it unhealthy...

But sometimes I imagine my life with sharing with a woman, simple things in life...

I don't want to be a victim anymore in my life but sometimes I feel like shit with tinnitus...

Trying hard to change things and bad habits in my life...