Tinnitus' Impact on Social Life

[Michael Leigh]

Yes, Bill has a way with words, this is true. His views mostly make me wonder if he is truly a happy man. I hope so.

I will politely disagree with both of you. Having people whom you love in your life is a blessing. Having people who love you back is even better.

I hope you are doing well, Michael.

HI @emmalee

It is nice to see you on the forum and I'm doing okay at the moment although my tinnitus is problematic today. Doing some DIY work on my home, carpentry in fact which is what I'm skilled in. I don't mind you disagreeing with me, for you put it across so nicely I couldn't be upset. You are absolutely correct: having people whom we love is a blessing and to love us back is even better. Unfortunately, this is not so easy to find.

Take care and all the best
Michael

 

[emmalee]

HI @emmalee

It is nice to see you on the forum and I'm doing okay at the moment although my tinnitus is problematic today. Doing some DIY work on my home, carpentry in fact which is what I'm skilled in. I don't mind you disagreeing with me, for you put it across so nicely I couldn't be upset. You are absolutely correct: having people whom we love is a blessing and to love us back is even better. Unfortunately, this is not so easy to find.

Take care and all the best
Michael

Thank-you, Michael. This forum is my comfortable place. I like to come here to be amongst others who are facing the same struggles. Tinnitus has brought us all together and there are many here whom I consider friends.

May I ask if you use power tools for your carpentry work, and if so, how does this affect your tinnitus? I am assuming that good ear protection would be an absolute must.

In my life, love found me when I wasn't looking for it. That is the beauty of it all I suppose.

I truly hope that your tinnitus will be better very soon.

 

[coffee_girl]

Bill is going to be a problem for this forum

 

[Bill Bauer]

His views mostly make me wonder if he is truly a happy man.

All I need to be happy is to be left alone. So I am good (or at least, I was able to achieve a lifestyle that makes me the happiest I can be; if you think I am unhappy, imagine how I would feel if I were to actually be married with children).

Having people whom you love in your life is a blessing.

For the people whom you had known for over 10 years (and whom you get to see every day), you will agree that the enjoyment from the interaction with them is not intense - just some very mild/minor nice feeling (in the best case scenario). Conversely, should they die suddenly, or should they get a serious illness, the distress will be very intense. This kind of means that the expected utility (that we get when comparing the expected costs and benefits) of having them around is negative.

My dad got diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 15. He passed away when I was 20. He was 47. The distress I felt during those five years had certainly been Intense. The way I see it, each "loved one" is a huge liability - a ticking time bomb that doubles as a fun toy (e.g., something that gives you mild enjoyment every day, until the day when it goes off without warning and makes your life a living hell).

You want to minimize the number of "loved ones." You can't do anything about the existing members of your family, but at least don't do anything to increase the size of the family (e.g., bring strangers into the family, and that includes kids).

 

[Michael Leigh]

Thank-you, Michael. This forum is my comfortable place. I like to come here to be amongst others who are facing the same struggles. Tinnitus has brought us all together and there are many here whom I consider friends.

May I ask if you use power tools for your carpentry work, and if so, how does this affect your tinnitus? I am assuming that good ear protection would be an absolute must.

In my life, love found me when I wasn't looking for it. That is the beauty of it all I suppose.

I truly hope that your tinnitus will be better very soon.

Thank you for your kind words @emmalee The tinnitus has been intrusive since this morning but it's nothing unusual. Perhaps it's decided that today and maybe tomorrow that it's going to give me a difficult time but I can cope, and hopefully won't have to take my clonazepam. When I'm using power tools like today, circular saw, electric planner and hammer drill, good ear-defenders are a must and they work well.

I am in the process of boxing in some external pipework, with marine grade plywood. The pipe exits from my combination boiler and runs down an outside wall. It is called a condensate pipe. Last year it was very cold here by the sea on the south coast. The condensate which is a liquid froze and stopped the boiler from working. We are expecting another cold spell so I'm getting prepared. I have bought a "Heater cable" which is attached to the pipework. When the temperature drops below 3 centigrade, the heater cable will come on and stop the condensate in the pipework from freezing.

Your writing ebbs and flows and has a fluidity to it that's similar to poetry. Do you write poetry? If not then I think you should, as I believe you'll be good at it. I like to express myself in writing and like to read other people's writing when done well such as yours.

Take care
Michael

 

[Zug]

Well... bwahahahaha!

This post amuses me a lot because a girl who I'd been dating in early 2016 (way before my initial ear incident in June this year) dumped my arse hard straight after her friend's wedding party she invited me to because... I wore earplugs.

My hearing was perfectly fine, but after attending a few previous wedding receptions in the past, I was no stranger to how damn loud they could get. So I decided to wear a set of earplugs during the event. I told her prior that I'd be doing this, but this was such a foreign concept to her, she protested like hell, looked at me like I was an alien during the event, and two days later after not hearing a word from her, she texted me saying she doesn't want to see me anymore, that it was "effeminate" to worry about my ears, and that she wanted a "manly man".

Looking back, I think I was fanning the flames a bit (trolling her) by wearing the earplugs just to gauge how she'd react to it, but she sure showed her true colours that night and a few days afterward.

Been there, done that. Met my wife after the idiot girlfriend, happily married for over a year.

 

[emmalee]

All I need to be happy is to be left alone. So I am good (or at least, I was able to achieve a lifestyle that makes me the happiest I can be; if you think I am unhappy, imagine how I would feel if I were to actually be married with children).

As I had pointed out in an older post, it is also a ticking time bomb. When a person you care about gets seriously ill, the resulting distress to you is orders of magnitude more significant than the enjoyment (if any) you get when everyone is healthy. So each "loved one" represents potential suffering, they are a liability.

I understand Bill, no ill will from me, I respect your views. We are just two very unique individuals with one common denominator, tinnitus. I like you Bill, even though we may not agree on many things.

 

[emmalee]

Thank you for your kind words @emmalee The tinnitus has been intrusive since this morning but it's nothing unusual. Perhaps it's decided that today and maybe tomorrow that it's going to give me a difficult time but I can cope, and hopefully won't have to take my clonazepam. When I'm using power tools like today, circular saw, electric planner and hammer drill, good ear-defenders are a must and they work well.

I am in the process of boxing in some external pipework, with marine grade plywood. The pipe exits from my combination boiler and runs down an outside wall. It is called a condensate pipe. Last year it was very cold here by the sea on the south coast. The condensate which is a liquid froze and stopped the boiler from working. We are expecting another cold spell so I'm getting prepared. I have bought a "Heater cable" which is attached to the pipework. When the temperature drops below 3 centigrade, the heater cable will come on and stop the condensate in the pipework from freezing.

Your writing ebbs and flows and has a fluidity to it that's similar to poetry. Do you write poetry? If not then I think you should, as I believe you'll be good at it. I like to express myself in writing and like to read other people's writing when done well such as yours.

Take care
Michael

Frozen pipes do not sound like a lot of fun at all, being prepared is paramount. Living by the sea on the south coast sounds lovely, especially in the warm months. Winter on the other hand must very cold. Hopefully you will get the job done with plenty of time to spare. I can say that I am not looking forward to our cold, Canadian winter. Give me perpetual Fall, please.

Thank-you for the compliment, Michael. I am a lover of words and I do enjoy writing, mostly for my own enjoyment. I spend many hours reading poetry and quotes, I find it very calming.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Thank-you for the compliment, Michael. I am a lover of words and I do enjoy writing, mostly for my own enjoyment. I spend many hours reading poetry and quotes, I find it very calming.

I just knew that you had to be involved in writing in some manner shape or form @emmalee well done to you. I have been living on the south coast for 4 years and liking it quite a lot. The summer here was wonderful and at times I felt it just too hot. Our winter months are nothing like yours in Canada and do wonder how you manage to cope over there. I have relatives in your part of the world that tell me 20 degrees below is nothing unusual for winter. I just don't think I could cope with that.

Take care....

 

[emmalee]

I just knew that you had to be involved in writing in some manner shape or form @emmalee well done to you. I have been living on the south coast for 4 years and liking it quite a lot. The summer here was wonderful and at times I felt it just too hot. Our winter months are nothing like yours in Canada and do wonder how you manage to cope over there. I have relatives in your part of the world that tell me 20 degrees below is nothing unusual for winter. I just don't think I could cope with that.

Take care....

Winter in Canada, my region in particular, can be quite lovely, if not spectacular. Winter Wonderland describes it beautifully. The temps can be downright bitter, if I am to be honest, but it is winter after all. Warm clothing, a four wheel drive vehicle and plenty of hot chocolate and Baileys Irish Cream makes it all wonderfully bearable. You just might be able to cope, Michael.

The ocean is what I would like to see out of my window, though.

Here's hoping your tinnitus is much quieter, tomorrow.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Winter in Canada, my region in particular

Do you live in the Prairies?

 

[Flamingo1]

Back in the 90s he was amazing. But now the magic is (mostly) gone.

For me the HS Show went downhill after Artie quit and Howard turned into a obsequious Hollywood leftie.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Howard turned into a obsequious Hollywood leftie

I haven't had a chance to listen to Howard's show for close to 15 years. I tried listening to it in 2016, and was very disappointed.

These days, sometimes I enjoy listening to Anthony Cumia's shows. "NYC Crime Report" show on his Compound Media network is also pretty good!

Artie used to be Anthony's co-host for that show in 2017 and 2018. Those shows are still available at the archive at compoundmedia.com

 

[emmalee]

Do you live in the Prairies?

Hi Bill. I'm in Ontario.

 

[Flamingo1]

I haven't had a chance to listen to Howard's show for close to 15 years. I tried listening to it in 2016, and was very disappointed.

So you missed wack packer Eric the Actor (now deceased) and Artie Lange circa 2004? 2002-2008 years were great! You tried listening the wrong decade, my friend.

 

[Alex Matyjasek]

Well I work in a bar. It's been three and half months i've been out of action because of kidney stones... And 44 days I've had tinnitus (been fantastic last 3 months!)... Next week they are taking my catheter out, and anyway, soon back to work. It will be interesting, working in a stressful job with T.

On the other I hand I also think it will do me good to take my mind off it, which it really isn't that much of a problem. Furthermore referring to my friends, my social life, during the first days of this nightmare I realised being with my mates also did the same effect (keep my mind off it). Yes, I was thinking, shit you guys are so lucky, and dont realise how well off you are. But hey life carries on and I guess I have to make the most of it. The problem is really when I'm home and I hear my T a lot more. (I hear it all the time). Anyway, easier said than done... Let's see what happens.

 

[Bill Bauer]

So you missed wack packer Eric the Actor (now deceased) and Artie Lange circa 2004? 2002-2008 years were great!

I stopped listening in 2004...

 

[Morg]

You are correct in your thinking. If you feel it's dangerous to be exposed to those loud environments, then don't go. Listen to yourself. Doing things that could make it worse in my opinion are not worth it. Always bring earplugs, but know your limits. I also use a sound pressure level meter on my phone (NOISH) to check sound levels of my surroundings when it feels like it's getting loud.

People may not understand, but these are your ears and mental health and you need to do what's right for you. Not all social activities require going to super loud places. There are restaurants that are a bit quieter than others, you'll just have to do some research and trial and error. High volume events are over rated