G'day all.
My tinnitus journey started when I was a teenager; I was diagnosed with TMJ as I noticed ringing in my ears at night. I eventually got used to it to the point I hadn't noticed it in years unless I really tried. I should have counted my blessings then (HA!)
I've always been vigilant about protecting my ears as a semi-regular concertgoer and metalhead, but this time I didn't. I went to a concert 3 weeks ago without my earplugs, caught COVID-19, impacted earwax and Eustachian tube dysfunction, and have been dealing with a hissing in both my ears, particularly loud on the right with a higher tone. Really, really, really fucking devastated that one mistake can change the trajectory of your life forever.
I won't lie; I've been extremely suicidal this week with the realization that this is permanent. And I've been through the utter pits with my mental health and suicidal ideation. Nothing comes close to this, but I'm in a position now where I am much more positive. The strength of the people who love me is helping. (Love is enough; let it be enough for you) I'm kind of just over being depressed at this point... It's exhausting. I want to get back to how I usually am: a carefree stoner who smokes away his problems. Even weed makes the ringing more noticeable these days.
About a week into the ringing (and recovering from COVID-19) I went to a doctor as I noticed my right ear feeling quite full after using ear wax drops to attempt to get the wax out. The doctor told me COVID-19 can induce tinnitus and that my ears were extremely full of wax. They assured me that syringing it out will eliminate the ringing and prescribed me a sinus wash out and spray. Of course I was skeptical, and doing my research into ear syringing I needed to listen to my gut and turn to an audiologist.
Even then, I heard horror stories about microsuction, so I tried hard to opt for manual ear cleaning. The ear wax I had was too soft for him to do so, resulting in him microsuctioning my ear. I don't think this has caused any more damage, but I'm sure this didn't help. 70% of the earwax is out of my ears except for some wet wax still lining my right ear drum, which he says will take a month to drop off.
Of course, the ringing has persisted, much to my horror with having removed all of that earwax. I was getting hopeless, so I called him up again, expressing my fears of hearing damage. I did a hearing test. I have perfect hearing—better than average for my age range, apparently. I'm really not convinced, though. I've been informed that most audiologists test only up to the 8 kHz range.
There's no doubting, though, that this ringing could potentially be acoustic damage, in his opinion. He instead urged me to look into ototoxic drugs, and it turns out Doxycycline is one that I had been taking for the past few months due to Hidradenitis Suppurativa alongside Metformin. I take Testosterone Replacement Therapy alongside this, and I do acknowledge that there are some studies that link tinnitus cases to this. But then again, this same audiologist wasn't even aware that TMJ was a disorder, let alone something that can induce tinnitus... Which I found was odd.
I suppose I'm in a really weird position with my tinnitus. It's like I have the whole unholy hexagon of triggers that cause this. I'm in a weird limbo of uncertainty about having hope as all of these factors can affect me.
I've started by ditching Doxycycline and taking Magnesium, B1, and B12 vitamins. I know these aren't magic pills, given my situation, but with all the other factors going on with my health, it surely can't harm... Even if it's just to make me feel better.
I don't know what I'm hoping for with posting this; a sense of community, maybe someone else in a similar position? It feels like tinnitus is like Fight Club in my life now, given how the professionals in my life are telling me to "just ignore it" and "not think about it or mention it," but it's hard when you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... But even without this shit is hard. Is this really all the medical attention and advice that this condition gets?
Regardless if you're reading this I hope you're hanging on. We've got this. We're not going to let this ruin us completely.
My tinnitus journey started when I was a teenager; I was diagnosed with TMJ as I noticed ringing in my ears at night. I eventually got used to it to the point I hadn't noticed it in years unless I really tried. I should have counted my blessings then (HA!)
I've always been vigilant about protecting my ears as a semi-regular concertgoer and metalhead, but this time I didn't. I went to a concert 3 weeks ago without my earplugs, caught COVID-19, impacted earwax and Eustachian tube dysfunction, and have been dealing with a hissing in both my ears, particularly loud on the right with a higher tone. Really, really, really fucking devastated that one mistake can change the trajectory of your life forever.
I won't lie; I've been extremely suicidal this week with the realization that this is permanent. And I've been through the utter pits with my mental health and suicidal ideation. Nothing comes close to this, but I'm in a position now where I am much more positive. The strength of the people who love me is helping. (Love is enough; let it be enough for you) I'm kind of just over being depressed at this point... It's exhausting. I want to get back to how I usually am: a carefree stoner who smokes away his problems. Even weed makes the ringing more noticeable these days.
About a week into the ringing (and recovering from COVID-19) I went to a doctor as I noticed my right ear feeling quite full after using ear wax drops to attempt to get the wax out. The doctor told me COVID-19 can induce tinnitus and that my ears were extremely full of wax. They assured me that syringing it out will eliminate the ringing and prescribed me a sinus wash out and spray. Of course I was skeptical, and doing my research into ear syringing I needed to listen to my gut and turn to an audiologist.
Even then, I heard horror stories about microsuction, so I tried hard to opt for manual ear cleaning. The ear wax I had was too soft for him to do so, resulting in him microsuctioning my ear. I don't think this has caused any more damage, but I'm sure this didn't help. 70% of the earwax is out of my ears except for some wet wax still lining my right ear drum, which he says will take a month to drop off.
Of course, the ringing has persisted, much to my horror with having removed all of that earwax. I was getting hopeless, so I called him up again, expressing my fears of hearing damage. I did a hearing test. I have perfect hearing—better than average for my age range, apparently. I'm really not convinced, though. I've been informed that most audiologists test only up to the 8 kHz range.
There's no doubting, though, that this ringing could potentially be acoustic damage, in his opinion. He instead urged me to look into ototoxic drugs, and it turns out Doxycycline is one that I had been taking for the past few months due to Hidradenitis Suppurativa alongside Metformin. I take Testosterone Replacement Therapy alongside this, and I do acknowledge that there are some studies that link tinnitus cases to this. But then again, this same audiologist wasn't even aware that TMJ was a disorder, let alone something that can induce tinnitus... Which I found was odd.
I suppose I'm in a really weird position with my tinnitus. It's like I have the whole unholy hexagon of triggers that cause this. I'm in a weird limbo of uncertainty about having hope as all of these factors can affect me.
I've started by ditching Doxycycline and taking Magnesium, B1, and B12 vitamins. I know these aren't magic pills, given my situation, but with all the other factors going on with my health, it surely can't harm... Even if it's just to make me feel better.
I don't know what I'm hoping for with posting this; a sense of community, maybe someone else in a similar position? It feels like tinnitus is like Fight Club in my life now, given how the professionals in my life are telling me to "just ignore it" and "not think about it or mention it," but it's hard when you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... But even without this shit is hard. Is this really all the medical attention and advice that this condition gets?
Regardless if you're reading this I hope you're hanging on. We've got this. We're not going to let this ruin us completely.