Hi everyone, I'm so happy to have found this forum. It's the first one of any kind I've ever joined- I'm not even on Facebook. But since these symptoms hit me over the last few weeks, I knew I had to reach out for help. I wasn't even sure that I'd get a hit when I googled "Tinnitus support group", but was greatly relieved when I did. There is something inherently comforting about knowing you're not experiencing this thing on your own. I hope someday that I can be someone who offers help to others, but right now, I'm a long way from that. I need your help.
The irony is that I was making a concerted effort since the beginning of the year to take better care of myself; back in the gym, no alcohol, meditating again, devouring books. And then the ringing came. When I went to my Eye, Ear and Nose specialist, it wasn't even that bad, so I was pretty relaxed about what I was experiencing. Later that night, it was as if someone turned up the volume. And it went from predominantly right ear to both.
I guess I don't really have to describe here the feelings and emotions brought on by these symptoms; the sickening, icy fear running through your veins that you have just been condemned to a lifetime of unremitting torment. The hopelessness. The despair, thoughts of suicide. Clearly, so many of you... all of you I suppose, know exactly what I'm talking about.
By the way, as I write this, I have not even had my audiology exam, let alone brain scans of any sort. I will have those things done, but there is just something in my heart telling me that my karma is to deal with this for the rest of my life. How funny to actually be hoping and praying that it's a tumor, since tumors can at least be removed!
I know that from adversity and suffering, real wisdom can come. But boy, the road ahead of me now seems daunting as, well... hell.
To all of you who are suffering like I am right now, we suffer together. Hopefully that is of comfort.
To all of you who have created this forum and who contribute to help others... thank you, thank you, thank you.
The irony is that I was making a concerted effort since the beginning of the year to take better care of myself; back in the gym, no alcohol, meditating again, devouring books. And then the ringing came. When I went to my Eye, Ear and Nose specialist, it wasn't even that bad, so I was pretty relaxed about what I was experiencing. Later that night, it was as if someone turned up the volume. And it went from predominantly right ear to both.
I guess I don't really have to describe here the feelings and emotions brought on by these symptoms; the sickening, icy fear running through your veins that you have just been condemned to a lifetime of unremitting torment. The hopelessness. The despair, thoughts of suicide. Clearly, so many of you... all of you I suppose, know exactly what I'm talking about.
By the way, as I write this, I have not even had my audiology exam, let alone brain scans of any sort. I will have those things done, but there is just something in my heart telling me that my karma is to deal with this for the rest of my life. How funny to actually be hoping and praying that it's a tumor, since tumors can at least be removed!
I know that from adversity and suffering, real wisdom can come. But boy, the road ahead of me now seems daunting as, well... hell.
To all of you who are suffering like I am right now, we suffer together. Hopefully that is of comfort.
To all of you who have created this forum and who contribute to help others... thank you, thank you, thank you.