Update After a Year

[UKJon]

Greetings.

I have not posted here since March 2017.

I had been battling (albeit) mild tinnitus after caring for my mother and the subsequent bereavement/breakdown. 3 years of hell which really started at the end of 2014.

As I type this, my tinnitus is now at the point where I hardly use my bedside sound system to help me sleep. In fact, I think I only used it about 10 times in February and once for the whole of March. April so far has also been very good.

My tinnitus has definitely receded as time has passed and previous pressures have gone. I had been praying for this to happen since the end of 2014 so you can imagine my joy. I stopped attending mindfulness meditation last year and now go dancing instead (with earplugs). I also stopped seeing my therapist.

However, I don't think I'll ever be free of the fear that it might return for no obvious reason. My hearing has been tested recently. I'm 55 and it's as good as someone half my age so I know that my tinnitus was all due to prolonged stress. I never expose my ears to dangerous levels of noise either. What remains is the phobia of tinnitus and the shadow of the possibility of it returning at any time in the future, particularly when I'm stressed (although I am not expecting to ever be a carer for a loved one again) or when I'm just starting to enjoy life again.

I'm still hyper aware and 'listening out' especially at night of course and as you can tell, it is still on my mind enough for me to keep a night record. I've always been an obsessive. What I have left is silent to 'slight' tinnitus but the fear of it increasing again is still a major worry especially after so much past suffering and naked fear.

And the reason for this new post is because it is noticeable again today, so it would seem that it is only 'dormant' rather than gone completely. This is very disappointing. Perhaps the very fact that I've been doing so well recently has itself made me a little anxious subconsciously.

I have been looking for work, attending training courses and generally trying to get myself back into the world of living. I'm planning to go away overnight very soon for the first time since 2012 when I started caring for my mother and I think the slight stress of self induced pressure and expectation has highlighted the noise in my head again.

Your thoughts please and very best wishes to you all.

Thank you.

Jonathan

 

[glynis]

@UKJon ,
Lovely to hear from you and so glad everything as been going better for you and dancing...wow.
Your tinnitus maybe spiking but im sure it will go back to how it has been all year so try take no notice of it because you have come so far .
Your break will be lovely for you and enjoy it.
Love glynis x

 

[Luman]

Glad to hear that you're going to get back out in the world. My wife had been caring for her elderly mother for many years, and, similar to yourself, we have not gone on holiday, or even left the city, since 2012. Her mom passed away earlier this year, and now I need to get my head wrapped around the idea of travelling again. I've had T since last summer, and have to start experiencing activities outside my comfort zone. Being uncomfortable at first is normal and expected, but ultimately it will be very therapeutic for any of us in this situation, I'm sure.

 

[Sebastians]

Thanks for being so honest, looks like you are taking some very important steps. Best of luck to you!

 

[New Guy]

Sounds like you've made some great progress and you're a model to us all.

Can I ask a question about stress induced T? Did you get the ear fullness and hyperacusis with it? I'm still trying to figure out if my T is noise or stress induced.

Congrats on moving forward. You sound like you've got a great grasp on what you need to do and doing it.

 

[UKJon]

Sounds like you've made some great progress and you're a model to us all.

Can I ask a question about stress induced T? Did you get the ear fullness and hyperacusis with it? I'm still trying to figure out if my T is noise or stress induced.

Congrats on moving forward. You sound like you've got a great grasp on what you need to do and doing it.

No I didn't get ear fullness or hyperacusis. I've been exposing my ears to normal sounds of traffic/towns etc all the while. What changed was that I attempted to be calmer as a person but it has taken a long time. What helps is KNOWING that my tinnitus is NOT ear based but brain based. My hearing is A1. I even had a Skype session with the great Julian Cowan Hill. HE is the expert. Don't read any articles or books by anyone else. I trust him and you can find many of his talks on Youtube. However, don't EVER knowingly expose your ears to prolonged, loud noise. I never did.

And I would add that tinnitus CAN still reduce after 6 months. I know mine is small but it has definitely altered for the better. I've had it since October 2014.

 

[UKJon]

Thanks for being so honest, looks like you are taking some very important steps. Best of luck to you!

Thankyou.

 

[New Guy]

Thank you UKJon.

 

[UKJon]

Glad to hear that you're going to get back out in the world. My wife had been caring for her elderly mother for many years, and, similar to yourself, we have not gone on holiday, or even left the city, since 2012. Her mom passed away earlier this year, and now I need to get my head wrapped around the idea of travelling again. I've had T since last summer, and have to start experiencing activities outside my comfort zone. Being uncomfortable at first is normal and expected, but ultimately it will be very therapeutic for any of us in this situation, I'm sure.

Thanks Luman. Us carers deserve medals really. We have to give up everything for a loved one sometimes. I see you're in Brooklyn. When my confidence returns, I'd love to travel abroad again like I used to. I've never been to New York and I want to visit the Brooklyn Farmacy and try a real American soda.

 

[UKJon]

@UKJon ,
Lovely to hear from you and so glad everything as been going better for you and dancing...wow.
Your tinnitus maybe spiking but im sure it will go back to how it has been all year so try take no notice of it because you have come so far .
Your break will be lovely for you and enjoy it.
Love glynis x

Thanks Glynis. The last I read about you, you were in hospital and the ears were very bad I believe. I sincerely hope things are better for you now. Is that a new picture? For me, I guess it's all been about calming down and I suppose I must expect the odd blip occasionally. I've lost so much confidence. Take care and regards xx

 

[Luman]

Thanks Luman. Us carers deserve medals really. We have to give up everything for a loved one sometimes. I see you're in Brooklyn. When my confidence returns, I'd love to travel abroad again like I used to. I've never been to New York and I want to visit the Brooklyn Farmacy and try a real American soda.

Hey, I wasn't even aware of that place! It looks like a retro soda fountain. Very few of the original soda/candy stores have survived anywhere in NYC. I just watched a video of the shop, and they make and serve Egg Creams, which was a staple soda treat in NYC for decades, now virtually impossible to find since the disappearance of the small corner soda/candy/newsstand shops. We used to get Cherry Cokes, Lime Rickey, malteds, ice cream sodas and sundaes, and of course the famous Egg Cream (which contains neither eggs nor cream). Thanks for the info!

 

[Lakeside]

Thanks Glynis. The last I read about you, you were in hospital and the ears were very bad I believe. I sincerely hope things are better for you now. Is that a new picture? For me, I guess it's all been about calming down and I suppose I must expect the odd blip occasionally. I've lost so much confidence. Take care and regards xx

Greetings.

I have not posted here since March 2017.

I had been battling (albeit) mild tinnitus after caring for my mother and the subsequent bereavement/breakdown. 3 years of hell which really started at the end of 2014.

As I type this, my tinnitus is now at the point where I hardly use my bedside sound system to help me sleep. In fact, I think I only used it about 10 times in February and once for the whole of March. April so far has also been very good.

My tinnitus has definitely receded as time has passed and previous pressures have gone. I had been praying for this to happen since the end of 2014 so you can imagine my joy. I stopped attending mindfulness meditation last year and now go dancing instead (with earplugs). I also stopped seeing my therapist.

However, I don't think I'll ever be free of the fear that it might return for no obvious reason. My hearing has been tested recently. I'm 55 and it's as good as someone half my age so I know that my tinnitus was all due to prolonged stress. I never expose my ears to dangerous levels of noise either. What remains is the phobia of tinnitus and the shadow of the possibility of it returning at any time in the future, particularly when I'm stressed (although I am not expecting to ever be a carer for a loved one again) or when I'm just starting to enjoy life again.

I'm still hyper aware and 'listening out' especially at night of course and as you can tell, it is still on my mind enough for me to keep a night record. I've always been an obsessive. What I have left is silent to 'slight' tinnitus but the fear of it increasing again is still a major worry especially after so much past suffering and naked fear.

And the reason for this new post is because it is noticeable again today, so it would seem that it is only 'dormant' rather than gone completely. This is very disappointing. Perhaps the very fact that I've been doing so well recently has itself made me a little anxious subconsciously.

I have been looking for work, attending training courses and generally trying to get myself back into the world of living. I'm planning to go away overnight very soon for the first time since 2012 when I started caring for my mother and I think the slight stress of self induced pressure and expectation has highlighted the noise in my head again.

Your thoughts please and very best wishes to you all.

Thank you.

Jonathan

great news! How did you get in contact with him via skype? Can I send you PM?

 

[glynis]

@UKJon ,
Hi Jonathan,
Sorry for a late reply as been having tests at hospital over the last two days not ear related but complications from a previous operation...
Anyway keep in touch ..
Love glynis