What Is Happening? Why Can't I Sleep? What's Causing My Panic Waves?

[amandine]

I just wondered if anyone had any idea what is going on.
So I try to not take any meds if at all possible.
I have had problems with sleep ever since this nightmare started.
So two nights ago i got nearly 7 hours sleep which was fantastic. I felt groggy from too much sleep.
Then next night I got about 5 hours sleep. Ok did not feel tired. T was very low.
Today I got less than 2 hours sleep and the T is raging.
Plus on top, i get rolls or waves of panic going through me.
Is this panic due to lack of sleep? Is the T raging now due to lack of sleep?
Does anyhow have any idea as to why I suddenly cannot sleep at all and get these panic waves going through me?

 

[dan]

I'd say that you have what 90% of tinnitus sufferers get - good days and bad days.
The panic I would say is due to the raging T and stress, so I'd say work to resolve your personal situation at this point, in order to be able to get the help you need, pharmacologically and psychologically - none of which you are getting at this point.

 

[dan]

In another thread you mentioned the issue of money.
You are a UK citizen and are covered by the NHS, while at the moment you are stuck in rural France in an abusive relationship...which brings me back to the point that you need to resolve your personal situation first.

 

[Martin69]

@amandine
T plays is a nasty mental game with us.
It could be very loud and we care not much because we are distracted, good mood, good time, perfect weather etc.
Then it could be lower, but we have a diffcult time. Mine was crazy loud for 10 days. High anxiety, had to take diazepam one day. Little bit lower yesterday and today, but my thoughts are very negative. I even don't know if my problem is just T or my "burnout", my depression or whatever.

I would only know if I would not have T.
As @dan said, all the problems around us join the mental T game.

I was at my psychologist today and he is wondering why I have such a difficult time. I have a great family, money, a good job. He knows other lost souls who would kindly swap with me. So I was sitting there totally desperate why I am so bad. Is it just T or something else causing my anxiety.

So don't wonder why T is loud or not so loud. I haven't found out myself in 14 months. But I know that it takes all mental strength to live with it and to cope with the side effects like anxiety and panic. If it really becomes too difficult, try to get Xanax or diazepam or another benzo. It will bring you down and you have some hours to breath.

 

[amandine]

@dan

No it is not cos of the raging T.
I went to sleep at 4am with low T.
I wake up at 5.45 and unable to sleep any more.
I always get these rolling attacks of panic when i have not slept.
Therefore there must be a connection between lack of sleep and raging T and panic attacks.
The panic starts when I start to think about what to do for the best. But this has all started with the T. It was not so bad like this before I had T.
In one respect, you are correct. I am getting no help whatsoever!
And just referring back briefly to nootropics, a certain person whom we both know told me that nootropics did him harm.....

 

[amandine]

@Martin69

I have xanax. 0.25mg pill
I take half a pill (0.125) as and when I need it.
But I am living in france and very very unhappy. I was unhappy before but now i feel trapped. I was able to cope before this illness but now I have this illness everything is 1000 times worse.
I am living with someone who does not understand what is going on with me. He doesnt know how to deal with it. The situation before with us was not good to say the least and his solution to everything is to drink and then get nasty. Before the illness and before we moved I was able to cope but now this illness has made me unable to cope.
I said if I was to go back to UK then I would get some help with the NHS - meds and therapy or treatment or trials or something and maybe make a life there.
He says he does not want to go back to the UK in the wintertime and I am not going to leave him on the streets in the UK in the wintertime.
My friends in UK said just give them a date and they will come and get me. But will my partner let me leave if they come and get me is the question.
My partner wants to stay here till the springtime and then for us to go back together but I am saying that I cant stay or wait that long cos I cant cope with it till then.
I feel like i am in an impossible and trapped position.
Back in the UK he will have nowhere to live nor any income.
I will have no income either but my friends said they will find me a place to stay but for me only, not him.
I just dont know what to do for the best.
And when i try to discuss it with my partner he just screams at me and loses his temper and I cant take the screaming or his temper.
What do I do?

 

[Martin69]

@amandine
Hmm. Yes, it is a difficult situation.
But it doesn't sound like it helps you very much. The best for both of you would be that you go back to the UK for treatment and he stays in France. But easier said than done. But if you could get into the Autifony trial, I would not wait a second.
You need people around you who help. I feel the same. I need my family around me, otherwise I will lose my mind. And meds to cope.
T is a bad condition. It is difficult enough handling this. Any more stress besides is not helpful.
Whatever you do, I wish you all strength.
We are here for you.

 

[OddV]

@amandine Just a FYI, I've been doing pretty good as of late, wake up with T of 6 or 7, but it usually goes back down. HOWEVER, the last 2 days have been hell... back to pre-injection of 7 during the day and it has been very intrusive.... not sure what is happening, other than... T just plain sucks.

 

[Larry OT]

@amandine
T plays is a nasty mental game with us.
It could be very loud and we care not much because we are distracted, good mood, good time, perfect weather etc.
Then it could be lower, but we have a diffcult time. Mine was crazy loud for 10 days. High anxiety, had to take diazepam one day. Little bit lower yesterday and today, but my thoughts are very negative. I even don't know if my problem is just T or my "burnout", my depression or whatever.

I would only know if I would not have T.
As @dan said, all the problems around us join the mental T game.

I was at my psychologist today and he is wondering why I have such a difficult time. I have a great family, money, a good job. He knows other lost souls who would kindly swap with me. So I was sitting there totally desperate why I am so bad. Is it just T or something else causing my anxiety.

So don't wonder why T is loud or not so loud. I haven't found out myself in 14 months. But I know that it takes all mental strength to live with it and to cope with the side effects like anxiety and panic. If it really becomes too difficult, try to get Xanax or diazepam or another benzo. It will bring you down and you have some hours to breath.

Martin,
Do you think the mirtzapine is making your thinking worse?
Does it make you foggy all day?
I can't tell if it's my depression or the drugs. I am constantly fogged and fatigued no matter what kind of day I'm having. It's a struggle to exist.
I'm thinking of getting off the drugs to see what will happen but I am afraid of withdrawal.
Whats your opinion of Mirtzapine?

 

[Telis]

I was at my psychologist today and he is wondering why I have such a difficult time. I have a great family, money, a good job. He knows other lost souls who would kindly swap with me.

Yet another person in health care that doesn't take T seriously. Great. Who cares about the screaming in your brain that drives you to distraction...after all you have money and family. Unbelievable. No wonder there is no cure, people don't think it's a real problem.

I have money...and lots of it, I also have family and a ton of friends. What people don't understand is that doesn't buy you happiness or peace of mind when you are going through a un curable health issue.

 

[dan]

He knows other lost souls who would kindly swap with me.

I don't think you conveyed your condition very well. Did you use the words - screaming head, perpetual screeching train brakes and so on ?
I think doctors still think tinnitus is something that is easily masked and tuned out (which it is for most people). Keep in mind that only 0.5-1% of the population suffers from severe tinnitus....boy aren't we lucky.

 

[OceanSound]

This sounds all too familiar. Sometimes if I don't get enough sleep or if I wake up in the middle of the night, my T will be much worse than normal. I think this is the case for a lot of people. And yes, lack of sleep DEFINITELY makes a difference. It can vary from person to person, but I can almost guarantee that once you get a good night's sleep going again, things will start to calm back down. I always tend to panic when the slightest change occurs, so don't worry. I know the feeling all too well.

Hang in there. I hope things calm down for you very soon.

 

[stelar]

I will have no income either but my friends said they will find me a place to stay but for me only, not him.
I just dont know what to do for the best.

Have you ever considered getting a job perhaps ? Not trying to be rude or anything just a suggestion to keep your mind busy from tinnitus and getting some financial peace of mind.

 

[Martin69]

@Telis @dan
Thanks for your understanding. I guess only severe T sufferers understand.
Yes, it is exhausting explaining him that I have a dog whistle in my head.
And he sees all the positives in my life and doesn't understand my problems.

Even my wife tries to understand, but she cannot.
She has cancer and it can lead to death, T cannot lead to death by itself.
So she is sure I will habituate one day. I hope she is right.
I do not talk with her about T anymore. She only sees my anxiety and depression.

 

[Martin69]

Martin,
Do you think the mirtzapine is making your thinking worse?
Does it make you foggy all day?
I can't tell if it's my depression or the drugs. I am constantly fogged and fatigued no matter what kind of day I'm having. It's a struggle to exist.
I'm thinking of getting off the drugs to see what will happen but I am afraid of withdrawal.
Whats your opinion of Mirtzapine?

Hi Larry,
No, Mirtazapine let me function more or less. No side effects.
I take highest dosage (45 mg) in the evening. Two hours later, I am so tired that I sleep directly 8-9 hours without interruption. The sleep aid already works for a low dosage like 15 mg. But it didn't do anything against the depression. So we increased.
The problem I have is that in the morning my depression and anxiety is very high. But I don't know how it would be without. Like you, I don't want to withdrawal.
The question for me is if there is any drug in the world which would completely control anxiety and depression, except a benzo of course.
So to answer your question. No, I don't think Mirta makes my thinking worse. I think, I have a high-pitched dog whistle in my head. And this causes anxiety and symptoms like you described.
The question for me is if it loses its effect.

 

[dan]

Perhaps a dog whistle isn't an adequate description for him lol...I mean I never heard a dog whistle before I didn't know dogs could
It is good you followed my advice and stopped talking to wifey about T.
This is the first step towards habituation.

 

[Martin69]

Perhaps a dog whistle isn't an adequate description for him lol...I mean I never heard a dog whistle before I didn't know dogs could
It is good you followed my advice and stopped talking to wifey about T.
This is the first step towards habituation.

@dan
Are you habituated?

 

[dan]

@dan
Are you habituated?

No I'm not habituated at all, what makes you say that ?

 

[Martin69]

No I'm not habituated at all, what makes you say that ?

Just because you wrote that not talking about T leads to habituation.
Was just wondering if you made the same experience.
I had the impression before that you are not habituated yet.
So I don't know if we will make it or get stuck here forever.

 

[dan]

Just because you wrote that not talking about T leads to habituation.
Was just wondering if you made the same experience.
I had the impression before that you are not habituated yet.
So I don't know if we will make it or get stuck here forever.

Well that's how far I got so far I don't think habituation is possible in my case - but it might be possible in yours...

 

[SickoMicko]

Ok I'm gonna throw this out there because it works about as good as good can be for me. My doctor and I have been tweeting my meds far as long as I've had the condition (that's what all the EMT'S call it right) ( and I'm not bragging, and I wish to hell I didn't even know what the condition was, but I too am in that lucky 1%), and what seems to work the best for me is Zoloft 100mg + Wellbutrin 300mg every morning with breakfast. And if I do have a bad anxiety attack Valium .5 mg, either a half or a whole. I function we'll during the day, no droziness, and anyone I run into thinks I'm just fine (even though I'm not). For sleep 10 or 20mg of Melatonin. That's it, and I know everyone is different, but it could be a starting point for anyone who 's having issues with their meds. Mick

 

[valeri]

Yet another person in health care that doesn't take T seriously. Great. Who cares about the screaming in your brain that drives you to distraction...after all you have money and family. Unbelievable. No wonder there is no cure, people don't think it's a real problem.

I have money...and lots of it, I also have family and a ton of friends. What people don't understand is that doesn't buy you happiness or peace of mind when you are going through a un curable health issue.

Well said Telis!
I went red reading Martins post!
I bet you anything that whoever would choose to swap with us would change their mind very quickly.
They would rather sleep under a bridge or on a park bench than have tinnitus.

 

[dan]

They would rather sleep under a bridge or on a park bench than have tinnitus.

I know I would...

 

[valeri]

I know I would...

Same here

 

[uncle vikin]

I Believe now after thinking about this a while looking At t post, doing research ,every thing we all do with T and we have to just accept it as complex and they the drs. researchers ect. don't know anything for certain .the ENT says oh it's hearing loss ,psyc dr. says oh its a chemical imbalance,Inter med dr. we'll they say there may be a medical underlinning medical condition it is for certain in our body but where, I don't believe they have a clue.So if we the ones that have to live with this find something that works even somewhat then do it instead of suffering.The experts are just trying things to see if something works and hey sometimes it does but like I stated it's complex so that leads me to think Brain not ears or hearing loss or medical condition but it is the brain response that is the culprit .just my belief, and the brain is very complex someday they may luck up on a cure not just a bandage but for now I will gladly put that bandage on.

 

[Paul201]

Im having a lot of problems staying asleep and wake up many times during the night and generally the worse the sleep the more I notice t the next day, the only meds ive taken so far are a few cans of beer, which work well with my t for some reason and really quieten it down, but obviously not a long term solution. I don't have any panic attacks because my brain has seemed to accept that I self inflicted this onto myself and for that Im being punished somehow or quite likely my t is not as loud as many others on here, since I can mostly ignore it during the day, even though I hear it a lot but generally not over a medium loud tv.... but at night its a problem. Good luck

 

[LoNicot]

I'm on 175 mg of Wellbutrin, and after about 10 weeks of that, my anxiety finally subsided. I also take at night, .5 mg of Clonazapan, because at night, my T gets louder - maybe because it's quieter, maybe it's cause I'm tired after a day of work, maybe because after a full day of listening to it, I just can't ignore it anymore, who knows. My anxiety is under control now, and when I feel like I'm going batcrap crazy from the T, I rely on clonazapan. What a great lifestyle.

 

[Fa82]

The problem with T is without doubt its unpredictability. Sometimes it goes up for no reason. Go figure, you know? But that's where the problem is. It leads you a merry chase and you eventually get back to square one again. It's a vicious cycle which keeps you wading in stress and depression. Wait, but that's not all...

When it gets loud, and I mean very loud, the emotional deck of our brains decides to panic for no reason other than there is a threat, then the other physiological changes begin. You cannot stop it happening. The stress has to decline first. When I feel the panic and anxiety coming on I try to calm myself down - that helps a lot.

I just wondered if anyone had any idea what is going on.
So I try to not take any meds if at all possible.
I have had problems with sleep ever since this nightmare started.
So two nights ago i got nearly 7 hours sleep which was fantastic. I felt groggy from too much sleep.
Then next night I got about 5 hours sleep. Ok did not feel tired. T was very low.
Today I got less than 2 hours sleep and the T is raging.
Plus on top, i get rolls or waves of panic going through me.
Is this panic due to lack of sleep? Is the T raging now due to lack of sleep?
Does anyhow have any idea as to why I suddenly cannot sleep at all and get these panic waves going through me?

NIGHTMARE - exactly! one which you never wake up from. Like dreaming whilst you're awake. Sounds like you're habituating well..