What Is Silence Like? Please Describe It — I Can't Remember a Day Without My Tinnitus

[Brain Tumor Dave]

Tinnitus has been my co-pilot since 1974. Every day, 24/7. I can't remember a day without the screech.

So I've always been curious; what IS silence like? I know tinnitus is new to many of the posters here.

For those of you who know silence, can you describe it?

When you're alone and have no external sounds as input, do you hear NOTHING?

Surely you hear yourself breathing. Or maybe your heartbeat? Or maybe the blood circulating in your ears?

I can't fathom a concept of actual silence. I have to think an absence of the sense of hearing ANYTHING would be unnerving. Is that the case?

 

[Tinker Bell]

Good question. Prior to my hearing loss, I had excellent hearing so there was never a time where I did not hear something external. Though I recall reading a study that put people with perfect hearing and no tinnitus in soundproof spaces. They heard ringing in their ears and other odd noises.

I am not sure that perfect silence actually exists. Perhaps instead of absolute silence, what tinnitus sufferers miss is peace.

 

[KotaDomowa]

Well. Imagine that you are entering a room that is not heard by outside sounds. You lie down, take out the book. And you don't need to monitor anything. Pay attention to nothing. Nothing to worry about. Nothing is overloading your stimulus system.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I haven't heard absolute silence like prior to tinnitus in nearly 4 years. But about 2½ years ago I had a cold that somehow reduced my tinnitus 90% for a little while, and the best way I can describe hearing that "silence" is that it feels really light. Almost like you're floating, like a heavy weight has been put off your shoulders. It's wonderful. Of course you still hear the very faint sound of your breathing, but you easily hear past that.

 

[Orions Pain]

It's kind of like chronic pain. When your body doesn't hurt, the thought of your body hurting doesn't even cross your mind. When you do have pain, it occupies your day and you're constantly aware of it, the pain in the moment, what you're gonna do to solve it, how much worse it's gonna get in the future.

When you don't have tinnitus, you're not even paying attention to the silence, you're just blissfully unaware that something else could be filling in that space besides ambient noise. You simply exist in the moment and it's peaceful.

 

[Gee82]

I remember how I enjoyed reading, relaxing or simply letting my thoughts wander in complete silence. How peacefully I was falling asleep and waking up in the morning. Silence felt like I had a life to live and to focus on; now tinnitus is invading my brain and making me unable to even think properly.

 

[emmalee]

 

[TheDanishGirl]

It's kind of like chronic pain. When your body doesn't hurt, the thought of your body hurting doesn't even cross your mind. When you do have pain, it occupies your day and you're constantly aware of it, the pain in the moment, what you're gonna do to solve it, how much worse it's gonna get in the future.

When you don't have tinnitus, you're not even paying attention to the silence, you're just blissfully unaware that something else could be filling in that space besides ambient noise. You simply exist in the moment and it's peaceful.

That's not exactly how it was for me. Before tinnitus I enjoyed laying in bed or sitting around just listening to silence several times a week. It was my go-to timeout of full relaxation, when I felt myself too stimulated by noise/music.

 

[Orions Pain]

That's not exactly how it was for me. Before tinnitus I enjoyed laying in bed or sitting around just listenening to silence several times a week. It was my go-to timeout of full relaxation, when I felt myself too stimulated by noise/music.

This wasn't to imply that silence can't actively be sought out and enjoyed. I also loved just sitting in silence to relax or reading a book in a quiet area. OP asked what silence sounds like, and the best way (for me) to put that into words was just that it was a lack of the idea that your head could one day be filled with insane noises that you can't escape.

Life was full of those little moments where you could just exist in peace without the horrible noises in your head even when you weren't seeking out silence for relaxation such as waiting in a doctors office, being in a dressing room, or waiting in a car. In those moments your mind was probably occupied with some other mundane thoughts. So that's kinda what I meant of being blissfully unaware of silence.

It's difficult to put the meaning into words.

 

[GBB]

This wasn't to imply that silence can't actively be sought out and enjoyed. I also loved just sitting in silence to relax or reading a book in a quiet area. OP asked what silence sounds like, and the best way (for me) to put that into words was just that it was a lack of the idea that your head could one day be filled with insane noises that you can't escape.

Life was full of those little moments where you could just exist in peace without the horrible noises in your head even when you weren't seeking out silence for relaxation such as waiting in a doctors office, being in a dressing room, or waiting in a car. In those moments your mind was probably occupied with some other mundane thoughts. So that's kinda what I meant of being blissfully unaware of silence.

It's difficult to put the meaning into words.

I really miss doing a rolling fall into bed and just breathing deeply. I think the epitome of my tinnitus experience is that has been stolen from me. I'm always just a *little* bit on edge, and I think a life like that represent a really significant departure from my old identity.

 

[Lurius]

That's not exactly how it was for me. Before tinnitus I enjoyed laying in bed or sitting around just listening to silence several times a week. It was my go-to timeout of full relaxation, when I felt myself too stimulated by noise/music.

As someone with autism and being a mostly introverted personality, I completely understand this. It was like that for me as well. Hearing silence was incredibly important to me. I needed some alone time every day, just to hear silence and be with myself. Now that it has been taken away from me, I'm not sure I will ever be myself again.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

This wasn't to imply that silence can't actively be sought out and enjoyed. I also loved just sitting in silence to relax or reading a book in a quiet area. OP asked what silence sounds like, and the best way (for me) to put that into words was just that it was a lack of the idea that your head could one day be filled with insane noises that you can't escape.

Life was full of those little moments where you could just exist in peace without the horrible noises in your head even when you weren't seeking out silence for relaxation such as waiting in a doctors office, being in a dressing room, or waiting in a car. In those moments your mind was probably occupied with some other mundane thoughts. So that's kinda what I meant of being blissfully unaware of silence.

It's difficult to put the meaning into words.

I see what you mean. Yes, daydreaming was easier and more often occuring naturally, back when silence could be found. Nowadays I just start worrying and get more anxious, when I find myself in a silent environment.

 

[Tanni]

I'm always just a *little* bit on edge

This is actually the perfect description of having tinnitus, for me.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

To GBB and Tanni:

Very germane characterization of this condition.

I compare this to the way that, during the summer, the A/C in your car will consume 25% of the car's total power.

Tinnitus appropriates this percentage of your unselfconscious, confidentially directed regard for daily life. It is also similar, I imagine, to how the undermining, constantly painful awareness of having committed a disgraceful, unspeakable crime would have on your mental state.

This occurred to me after considering Raskolnikov's unremittingly tortured state in Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment."

 

[Toby1972]

Silence is something that I won't ever face in my life again.

Shower is the only 5 minutes of my day where the head sounds can't be stronger than the water noise. That is my silence.

The rest is trying to be alive as long as my parents live. And then maybe there is a wonder that reduces my head fire somehow.

 

[Ehren M]

Silence... I don't think I really experienced much silence before tinnitus. Maybe this is an odd perspective, but since developing tinnitus I've actually noticed myself worrying far less about the innumerable little concerns that used to fill my day. "Monkey-mind" refers to the tendency of our minds to always wander from subject to subject and dwell on things that make us unhappy.

I've been into meditation for a long time mainly to help quiet the busyness that usually consumed my thoughts. "Silence" before tinnitus was not exactly silence, since I was always concerned about something and was often stuck "in my head".

Now whenever I am not consumed with work, I am often focused far more on tinnitus than any of the other issues I would be dwelling on. In that way, tinnitus has replaced what was previously a very busy mind.

I oddly now find myself less concerned at the moment about the "little things" that used to plague me, perhaps because tinnitus provides sufficient fear for my mind to consume.

I do think I would prefer to once again be consumed with thinking about the "little things" instead of this tinnitus-bully... and hopefully someday I have the chance to compare those concerns.

 

[Matchbox]

Bliss, worst part is I knew it was bliss and savoured it before tinnitus.

Feels empty, hollow, and you can hear everything in a hyper... peaceful way (no aural fullness).

No distortion, and my breathing through my nose being the loudest thing.

I'd kill for dead quiet to just be static now, it was in the beginning... I didn't realize it until later that I could find peace in it.

Then I got way worse so... yeah.

 

[Jazzer]

View attachment 44625

I am remembering you Emmalee
and wishing we were still friends... x

Dave x

 

[aura]

Silence... I don't think I really experienced much silence before tinnitus. Maybe this is an odd perspective, but since developing tinnitus I've actually noticed myself worrying far less about the innumerable little concerns that used to fill my day. "Monkey-mind" refers to the tendency of our minds to always wander from subject to subject and dwell on things that make us unhappy.

I've been into meditation for a long time mainly to help quiet the busyness that usually consumed my thoughts. "Silence" before tinnitus was not exactly silence, since I was always concerned about something and was often stuck "in my head".

Now whenever I am not consumed with work, I am often focused far more on tinnitus than any of the other issues I would be dwelling on. In that way, tinnitus has replaced what was previously a very busy mind.

I oddly now find myself less concerned at the moment about the "little things" that used to plague me, perhaps because tinnitus provides sufficient fear for my mind to consume.

I do think I would prefer to once again be consumed with thinking about the "little things" instead of this tinnitus-bully... and hopefully someday I have the chance to compare those concerns.

Your post is so relatable!

 

[Juan]

For those of you who know silence, can you describe it?

It's hard to encounter real silence. A person with very good hearing usually hears, feels, or perceives some sort of very faint white sound in the background, and fragments of sound that come from different places, even inside a very well soundproofed house or apartment.

For me it is more interesting sound perceived with some hearing loss and tinnitus. It is super weird to me. I know there is obviously absence of sound, a lack of deepness and roundness (as compared to my previous excellent hyperacusic hearing, and excellent pre-hyperacusis hearing by the way..) but at the same time there is the tinnitus on top, in my case a white noise that changes, and sometimes has a very high pitched tone on top...

 

[Exit]

Tinnitus has been my co-pilot since 1974. Every day, 24/7. I can't remember a day without the screech.

So I've always been curious; what IS silence like? I know tinnitus is new to many of the posters here.

For those of you who know silence, can you describe it?

When you're alone and have no external sounds as input, do you hear NOTHING?

Surely you hear yourself breathing. Or maybe your heartbeat? Or maybe the blood circulating in your ears?

I can't fathom a concept of actual silence. I have to think an absence of the sense of hearing ANYTHING would be unnerving. Is that the case?

For most ignorant blessed people silence is
A: "Listen how quiet it's here!"
B: "Listen to all that noise outside!"
C: "I'm too occupied to check if it's noise around me!"

And they perceive their ears as completely silent, so all noise comes from outside, even your heartbeat.

 

[Jazzer]

I am remembering you Emmalee
and wishing we were still friends... x

Dave x

"Hi Emmalee"

 

[emmalee]

"Hi Emmalee"

Hello, Dave.

 

[Walker123]

I think this question is similar:

"If you are in a perfect dark room, do you see nothing?"

Our ears can't focus on "no sound"! We are looking for sound when we want to enjoy silence! I think that people who don't have tinnitus, can enjoy silence because there is no sound interfering with their thoughts. But a lot of people with tinnitus can achieve that as well!

I can enjoy silence, even when I hear my tinnitus. Mostly because I am listening or thinking of something else. If your brain does "nothing" you're not enjoying it. And we can only focus on one thing at a time. Most of the tinnitus sufferers see "silence" as some kind of blessing and get depressed when they think they can never enjoy silence. But I think that is an error in thinking. You can still enjoy the sound of the birds if you don't listen to your tinnitus.

And everything in this universe is relative. My tinnitus is my new "silence".

I know I sound vague, but this is how I think about it.

 

[emmalee]

I think this question is similar:

"If you are in a perfect dark room, do you see nothing?"

Our ears can't focus on "no sound"! We are looking for sound when we want to enjoy silence! I think that people who don't have tinnitus, can enjoy silence because there is no sound interfering with their thoughts. But a lot of people with tinnitus can achieve that as well!

I can enjoy silence, even when I hear my tinnitus. Mostly because I am listening or thinking of something else. If your brain does "nothing" you're not enjoying it. And we can only focus on one thing at a time. Most of the tinnitus sufferers see "silence" as some kind of blessing and get depressed when they think they can never enjoy silence. But I think that is an error in thinking. You can still enjoy the sound of the birds if you don't listen to your tinnitus.

And everything in this universe is relative. My tinnitus is my new "silence".

I know I sound vague, but this is how I think about it.

This is a very interesting perspective, Walker123, not at all vague. We all have our own unique perspective when it comes to dealing with our tinnitus.

"There was a brief silence. I think I heard snow falling" Erich Segal

 

[Gman45]

Ehren M.'s post sums up my past experience too. My mind has been hung up on "little things" I'd like to change for years until tinnitus took over. And, well we can't change tinnitus so thoughts about wanting to change tinnitus prevail. I too, would much rather be back to thinking on those little things.

Before tinnitus, silence was something that was not even part of awareness. Imagine the only thing you hear are real things. It's wonderful. If you don't like a sound simply get away from it. When you do hear sounds without tinnitus you know they are real and worth reacting to. Simply put, silence is what it's like to experience the world the way our mind was meant to.

 

[MindOverMatter]

@Gman45, this reminds me of something I read, written by an Indian philosopher and writer named Jiddu Krishnamurti:

"This sound has its own silence; all living things are involved in this sound of silence. To be attentive is to hear this silence and move with it."

The universe is filled with sound. "This sound" has its own silence; all living things are involved in this sound of silence. To be attentive is to hear this silence and move with it.

In my opinion you don't need it to be silent to experience your own silence.

 

[emmalee]

Simply put, silence is what it's like to experience the world the way our mind was meant to.

I love this descriptive.

 

[emmalee]

" This sound has its own silence; all living things are involved in this sound of silence. To be attentive is to hear this silence and move with it."

This what I try to do, I try my best to move with it.