What Is Your Biggest Problem With Tinnitus?

Everyday when day is over i go to bed and hope to get rest and this is when I start to hear that thing.
I start counting numbers, think about stuff but it is hard. The thing overwrites my toughs until I exhaust myself and fall in sleep. So in short sleep is never the same anymore!!!

 

For me it's 2 things.
1.) First time I get Tinnitus I get it like this, no 1 week gig Tinnitus to teach me a lesson no I may actually in fact get permanent Tinnitus after going to 2 gigs which bugs me a lot
2.) I don't know whether it's Hyperacusis,Recruitment,Reactive Tinnitus or what else but in some electrical appliances I tend to hear things other people don't mostly I'm bothered by my PC making a beeping sounds I have learned to despise greatly
3.) People telling me to wait and be patient.
Look if you tell me you're buying me a car in 5 months I can wait cause I know it'll happen, but when you tell me to wait 1 year because you may or may no buy me a car, it's just stupid it's not waiting it's annoying.
I just need to habituate, or for the sound sensitivity part to fuck off.
If all I get stuck with is these air sounds I currently have I DON'T CARE, I just want to sit down and have air instead of constant beeping fucking sounds.
4.) Not a Tinnitus thing but I am greatly bothered/annoyed/angered about how in school I get warned about watching my fucking teeth which I can replace like "snap" that, but nobody ever went "If you listen to a lot of loud music you may develop Tinnitus which is a constant ring in your head, there's no cure for it" because apparently having white fucking teeth is more important than having quiet in my life.
5.) People thinking it's not big deal, or my mom telling me she's tired of me being depressed OH YOU'RE FUCKING TIRED HOW SAD FOR YOU I'M SO SAD MY DEPRESSION IS BOTHERING YOU PLEASE ALLOW ME TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT I MAY HAVE THIS BULLSHIT CONDITION FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WHILE MY WEEKLY GIG GOING FRIENDS GET TO ENJOY QUIET AND MILD DEAFNESS WHICH I WOULD KILL TO HAVE, PLEASE TRY YOUR BEST NOT TO BE BOTHERED BY ME TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ANNOYING,DEPRESSIVE,SAD,UNFAIR,DEBILITATING RUINING MY LIFE.
She's always supportive and nice and all but sometimes she annoys me a lot.
"Stop being so obsessive it'll pass" suuuuuuuure it will, because if I was lucky enough of getting it like this I'm sure as hell going to be lucky enough to have it fuck off.
6.) People telling me it's just will power, you know what's willpower not eating that 25th cookie you fat prick, I can't willpower my nerves to not randomly fire off for no particular reason other than the brain being a piece of shit.

Well that ain't 2 things now is it?

Now I wrote some pretty negative things but I decided not to put them on as they're all bullshit.
Dr. Nagler is perfectly happy and he has jet engines, what'll happen most likely is the sound sensitivity will go in the next few months after I calm my obsessive mildly depressed sad angry ass down followed my either habituation or Tinnitus going away on it's own.
Anyway I hope you guys come through.

 

Ummm That's 6 things!

 

Biggest problem with tinnitus, is the tinnitus. The constant, intrusive sounds that attack our sensory system. Not depression. Not anxiety. But the sounds. Doctors without t say - you can't sleep because of the anxiety. Or you can't cope because of the depression. No folks, it is the tinnitus.

 

Hey Lisa. Totally agree.
But after a year with T I myself don't know if it is only T.
Because you turn your life upside down, analyze each and everything in your life (oftentimes with psychiatrists).
I am sure, without T I would be much much better. But I don't know if i would be depressed anyway.
T plays a horrible mental game with us.
It is good having this forum here knowing that we are not alone.
And hopefully we will find relief sooner or later, there will be a cure or we will habituate.
Take care,
Martin

 

Absolutely, Martin. I agree. Lots of anxiety and depression comes along with t. But fix the t, and I think all the rest will work itself out. Reason I bring this up is that there is such a swing towards fixing depression and anxiety with t, when more resources need to go to fixing the root problem - the t.

 

I was told the tinnitus will seem louder when i notice it. I can't not notice it because it's loud.

 

I could stand T better if I had every day 15 minutes of complete silence....so you always know that you have 15 minutes you can reset yourself....but T is like a diesel ...it keeps running.
It's the most loyal employee of your body....never takes a break....never stops.....never complains.....it just is.
I would fire T if I was in charge, but I guess I do not own myself anymore.

I'm like a dog on the T line.... and I have to do what the boss says.
I realy laugh a lot during the day and feel happy playing with my son and all......but there is always that fog I live in .... like i'm not realy here...that this is some bad nightmare.
I'm not depressed , but I just want a view minutes of silence.....just a little break after a hard days work.....
.....

 

where the hell is the cure already???? when will someone/doctor finally invent something to either get rid of the ringing or lower it, what the heck are doctors doing?...... its not fair to those of us in our 20's still trying to live a semi normal live and cant because tinnitus has ruined our lives, unable to focus on anything else but that damn ringing..... its so sad makes me realize that there really isnt any hope out there.The only ounce of hope I had was that hopefully they were working on some kind of treatment but after so many doc appts and the doc keep saying"theres nothing else that can be done, you have to learn to live with this" i pretty much have lost all hope. And after reading all the sites on the internet only validates my hoplessness. I miss reading in silence, i miss sleeping easily without that awful ringing and nobody i know understands it.

 

1) The anxiety and depression.
2) Having a spouse that doesn't understand and blames me for the condition!
She said all I did when the tinnitus started was obsess on it and my current depression and anxiety are due to that.
So it was my own fault for obsessing, like I have an option.

Hard to believe…I feel that part hurts more than the intense T and other physical problems that came in it's wake.
I hope everyone out there has a good support. My version of hell has dimensions of pain and depression I could have never imagined, but with two kids I'm sitting tight and doing whats right for my family.

 

My main problem is that I really enjoy silence and ambient noise, sometimes I really just want some peace and quiet. When I'm listening to something ambient and chill, I can occasionally hear the tinnitus overtop and that bugs me because I feel like I could be enjoying the music a lot more.
I sometimes worry that it will never go away, or get so bad I can't deal with it, but I can usually calm my anxiety down pretty well.

 

It seems no ENT wants to get involved when it comes to ear problems probably because of the complexity of it. They would rather prefer treating nose and throat problems if given an option..it should be NT doctor and not ENT as most are equally useless and clueless about ear problems.

 

Larry, you sound like myself.
Anxiety and depression exchange each other. On one day more anxiety, on the other day more depression.
Never had anxiety or depression in my life before.
My wife is very caring, but she now fights her own battle (breast cancer).
Living with anxiety is horrible since you do not really function.
T veterans tell me that anxiety will go away. But it takes time, long time.
I am also having two kids and I must go through it, no alternative.
So I hope, habituation will be reached by us.
Take care.

 

@Martin69
I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's battle with cancer. My prayers for her as well.
Yes, daily functioning is always very rough going with T. The anxiety and depression has really thrown me down.
I have decided to go with antidepressants to get through at this time. I just cant see going on like this without some kind of change because I can't seem to manage. Something in me has to change on some level.
I have found a lot of support on this forum and it helps. I am grateful to all.
Best wishes to you and your family.

 

@Larry OT
I take Mirtazapine (Remeron) and it helps me sleeping and against the depression. I seldom take a benzo. But sometimes it is overwhelming and I need one.
On the long run, we must get used to the sound.
All the best for you.

 

For me it's probably first thing in the morning when I wake and there it is in all it's annoying glory, my life is pretty well back to normal appart from this poxy tinnitus, I keep myself busy most of the time so it doesn't bother me, it's just certain times, I sleep well now, had a bad spike a couple of days ago but ok now, I suppose I have habituated to a certain degree, I really don't know if I will get to a time when I can put it so far at the back of my mind that I will not hear it anymore, mine is high pitched, like all of you I do hope they will find a cure, but realistically I think that's a long way of

 

@Martin69
Yup, I take Mirtazapine, small dose 7.5mg and 400 mg gabapentin.
It makes me calm at bedtime but often it takes long while to fall asleep.
My shrink wants me to take Abilify in the morning so I caved in after massive depression bout and started. I didn't want to be on all theses meds but for now I gotta function on a better level. Six months of my life have evaporated.
Stay strong. I'm trying...

 

Anxiety and living in constant fear..what if it gets worse?what if it will never subside and ruin my life ? I haven't really built anything yet ( except for a long term relationship but not really a source of support when it comes to T , but it's another topic I guess..) . I don't have a job nor children and I fear that because of what happened to me I will never have..which means one day I may become a comlpete outcast, maybe homeless which will lead me to cutting my vains. Voila..that's where my mind goes.

 

Gosia, your thinking at the moment is quite normal. You have only negative thoughts. I am 20 months in with severe, loud T. But things become better. I know, it is a long, tough time. Don't think about what will be in one, two or ten years. For the moment, it is only getting used to the sound. In the first months, I only did four things: Eating, drinking, sleeping, surviving (honestly, I did some more like masking and a lot talking). I am doing now many more things, although things are still tough.
Try do some masking. Your brain needs time to adjust.
Take meds if needed (Remeron against depression, Xanax only short-term).
Believe in every day you made it through it that you made it another day.
Many live a normal life with T.
And I am sure a cure or at least relief is on its way (see AUT00063).
Hugs, Martin

 

Thank you Martin. I was on meds after the first week of that nightmare for the following five weeks. Then thanks to this forum I learnt it's a dead end and reading that there was at least one person in the world who got T because of tempering benzos made me want to stop it forever. I quited meds at that time and at least I have this little satisfaction that I'm deling with T without meds. I hate meds. I've been taking them for years for other health problems ( not benzos but still heavy ) and it's been years I feel like I'm constantly poisoning myself whereas I'm just a victim of the ''civilised'' world . ( Thyroid problems, hormonal disregulation ). And now T. :/ Still, I take melatonine for the night and some herbal stuff but this I consider mild and harmless and mostly it seems to work. After 6,7 weeks I found back the ability to sleep full nights which is an ENORMOUS relief cause in the beginning I was mostly scared I would NEVER sleep longer than 2 h again and I truly didn't see any future. So I 've had some progress already. Needless to say I cried rivers. I'm absolutely convinced that how we deal with T is also connected with what the rest of our life is like. Of course, T is T and this is the problem. I couldn't agree more with all those who wrote about the ignorance of doctors and the society about it . It's not anxiety that causes T , it's T that cause anxiety and paralising fear, period. But it's also true that I wouldn't fear as much as I do about the future if my life was better in general. If I had a stable position in the society and more support. I've already had enough worried before T, now I have one more extra worry. I was doing better for a month cause I could see some improvement but a week ago sth changed , I had an impression T got worse or different, but anyway it started really bothering me to the point I couldn't not stop thinking about it even for a moment in a day. Now I'm slowly becoming better, but I'm not there yet and of course I'm scared. Last time I got to believe I could have a life as I dream of, I went to bed and coudln't sleep because of a spike. So much for any relation between positive thinking and T level I really feel like each time I get optimistic it gets worse and not the opposite.

 

Other. It's the hearing distortion that's really the worst. The tinnitus itself is pretty much just a sound now for me. But I am constantly reminded I have ear problems when everything I hear is not like it used to be.

 

@Ilija
I marked your post as genius because I had no idea what else I could rate it at.
Obviously our situations are different but there is so much right in what you wrote that applies to my life it is just simply amazing.


As of topic -
My biggest issue is being uncertain if it will go back to baseline in year or not, not knowing if its changing at all or im just being hopeful, possibility that it might get worse in future and im already on edge of "I can live with that" staring into depths of "Just let me die".

 

What is my biggest problem with tinnitus?

I can barely sleep, which makes it difficult to function at work.
It ruins the experience of enjoying music.
It stops me from enjoying fireworks with the kids.
It causes me to be afraid of loud noises and socialise.
It ruins a good book as its hard to concentrate.
It makes me feel anxious and low.

The good stuff, if there is any?

It can make you more resilient in general.
I appreciate the sounds of nature and the fact I can still hear at all.
I take one day at a time.

 

1. Sleep
2. Anxiety (living with this condition forever, never silence, not coping with life, losing job etc.)
3. Depression (loss of happiness, sadness, loss of interests)

Not being able to go to concerts or anywhere that plays loud music

Sleep is a huge issue

 

My biggest problem is that i don't know whats causing it and the fact my ENT did a hearing test and nothing else. The helplessness, despair, depression and anxiety that it has created. The fact that it is like a child, it wont let me have time to myself, changes it's tone or creates fleeting T to get my attention if i manage to ignore it. If i knew what it was i would be able to let go. I wish it to give me my life back.

 

For me is sleep and how my body reacts to tinnitus, the panic reaction is the worst .

 

Entirely agree. The panic response is awful especially having GAD anyway. Yuck

 

My biggest concern rather than a problem is that my T & H might go back to the severe levels they were at the first four months of last year and remain there. There's a world of difference being at a level 6-7 than a 9-10. Because I've been there, I think of the people that are living at those severe levels every day. I am truly hoping more for a treatment in the near future for them than for myself.

 

If 1 ent doesn't satisfy you why don't you go to another one or even 3 others if need be? People cross the world for a diagnosis or treatement. First do all you can to help yourself.

 

The problem is, in the UK it's almost impossible to get referred to an ENT. I had to practically beg my doctor the other week to send me. He said it wasn't necessary. I see another ENT next month. Previous ENT told me to listen to music. That was his diagnoses without any checking or testing (bar hearing test). I hold little hope in this ENT doing anything either. I can not afford to go overseas for treatment.