Hi all,
Since this board is full of experienced people, I am seeking for advice. I got already much help here from those friendly persons.
Of course we all would like to get rid of T sooner or later, best immediately. But we know this can happen or can never happen. So we work (or better just live) towards habituation. Maybe we are lucky and there will be a cure some time in the future.
I have learned more or less everything about this condition. I have accepted it as music of the brain and that filters in my limbic system are debilitated and let the sound go through into my consciousness. Since T started in my head from 0 to 100 (caused by stress), of course I had and still have an aversive conditioned response. But still I do not see it as a normal sound which was always there, but an increased signal because of the loudness. If I would have had a dentist drill in my head before T onset, I would have recognized that.
So as everyone I am seeking for a solution. Speaking with psychologists about my life and what could be changed. I changed a lot and reduced external stress (family, work, private) as much as possible. Sometimes I think I reduced too much so that there is too much spare time thinking about T. I thought about changing my job, but because of my anxiety and internal stress I do not see this as an option currently. And by the way, I like my job and my colleagues. Currently I am working from home (and again here I sometimes think it would be better driving into the office - but avoid that because of anxiety and stress).
I am not looking for cures, not visiting any doctors (besides my GP once a months), not trying any vitamins. I eat and drink what I did before and do not avoid anything like for example coffeine. It has no effect on my T. I try to live my life as normal as possible (as before but with reduced external stress).
Listening to my T is still a big problem for me. So I mask with high pitched cricket sounds or ACRN. Best relief I can get is sleep at night. The next morning starts with depression again. I take meds against depression (Remeron) and I guess it helps taking the edge off. Anxiety has gone down a little bit. Nevertheless I sometimes could jump out of my skin. I took 3 times a Benzo in 8 months to calm me down.
People say stay busy. What does mean staying busy? Running away from T and distracting from T like crazy? I see this as another external stress. Dr. Hubbard says he mindfully accepted his T by listening to it more and more. Is that the right strategy?
If I read success stories on Yuku, many say it was just TIME. So will it be just time? Do I have to just go through my day (being aware of T 24/7) and there will be one time in the future T will no longer play a big role in my life? Do I just need doing this for some more months or even years (hard to believe)? Do I have to just have to resist anxiety and depression every day until things improve?
Some people say staying away from forums, not talking about T etc. has helped. I can try, but because of loudness I cannot just ignore that. Or will it work if I try very hard, even for loud T? So the only strategy I see is "live with it", it sucks, but there is no other choice. And hope that my overactive neurons settle down sometime in the future.
Sorry for the long text but I would be interested in your opinion and your strategy?
Prayers for everyone and all the best,
Martin
PS: I even cannot tell if my T has changed from the beginning or even if I feel better or not. People tell me I look better than months ago. But inside me, my depression tells me something different.
Since this board is full of experienced people, I am seeking for advice. I got already much help here from those friendly persons.
Of course we all would like to get rid of T sooner or later, best immediately. But we know this can happen or can never happen. So we work (or better just live) towards habituation. Maybe we are lucky and there will be a cure some time in the future.
I have learned more or less everything about this condition. I have accepted it as music of the brain and that filters in my limbic system are debilitated and let the sound go through into my consciousness. Since T started in my head from 0 to 100 (caused by stress), of course I had and still have an aversive conditioned response. But still I do not see it as a normal sound which was always there, but an increased signal because of the loudness. If I would have had a dentist drill in my head before T onset, I would have recognized that.
So as everyone I am seeking for a solution. Speaking with psychologists about my life and what could be changed. I changed a lot and reduced external stress (family, work, private) as much as possible. Sometimes I think I reduced too much so that there is too much spare time thinking about T. I thought about changing my job, but because of my anxiety and internal stress I do not see this as an option currently. And by the way, I like my job and my colleagues. Currently I am working from home (and again here I sometimes think it would be better driving into the office - but avoid that because of anxiety and stress).
I am not looking for cures, not visiting any doctors (besides my GP once a months), not trying any vitamins. I eat and drink what I did before and do not avoid anything like for example coffeine. It has no effect on my T. I try to live my life as normal as possible (as before but with reduced external stress).
Listening to my T is still a big problem for me. So I mask with high pitched cricket sounds or ACRN. Best relief I can get is sleep at night. The next morning starts with depression again. I take meds against depression (Remeron) and I guess it helps taking the edge off. Anxiety has gone down a little bit. Nevertheless I sometimes could jump out of my skin. I took 3 times a Benzo in 8 months to calm me down.
People say stay busy. What does mean staying busy? Running away from T and distracting from T like crazy? I see this as another external stress. Dr. Hubbard says he mindfully accepted his T by listening to it more and more. Is that the right strategy?
If I read success stories on Yuku, many say it was just TIME. So will it be just time? Do I have to just go through my day (being aware of T 24/7) and there will be one time in the future T will no longer play a big role in my life? Do I just need doing this for some more months or even years (hard to believe)? Do I have to just have to resist anxiety and depression every day until things improve?
Some people say staying away from forums, not talking about T etc. has helped. I can try, but because of loudness I cannot just ignore that. Or will it work if I try very hard, even for loud T? So the only strategy I see is "live with it", it sucks, but there is no other choice. And hope that my overactive neurons settle down sometime in the future.
Sorry for the long text but I would be interested in your opinion and your strategy?
Prayers for everyone and all the best,
Martin
PS: I even cannot tell if my T has changed from the beginning or even if I feel better or not. People tell me I look better than months ago. But inside me, my depression tells me something different.