What Is Your Strategy?

[Martin69]

@Martin69

Not caring about your tinnitus is really key. It will take a while, but it will happen. Just tell your tinnitus to "get lost." Don't listen to it. I understand this is not easy. It takes practice. For me, it took over six months. But I was determined to get my life back and not be a prisoner to my tinnitus. So I kept telling myself I didn't care. That my tinnitus didn't matter. And I meant it. Then I would do something I liked. And I wouldn't let myself stop and listen to my noise. Of course, I heard my noise. It can get pretty loud, even now. But hearing it in the background is not the same as "listening" for it. Don't listen. You'll get better and better at it. You will still get setbacks, but over time you can retrain your brain.

You have the power to habituate.

Thanks jazz.
Yes, I am sure I will make it.
I have already moments where it fades into the background, although still rare.
Like for most with severe intrusive T, it can take one year and longer.
So I must be patient. Time will heal.

 

[Martin69]

Martin
You bring up good points about T (and the struggle); I did not habituate for almost a year -- then it all just kind of clicked in one week (strange). I didn't even really understand the concept of habituation at the time. However, it's not a good idea to get caught up in the amount of time it takes to habituate -- since it is intrinsically an individual journey (some fast, some slow).

I picked up on your statement about it being a 'normal' sound; in my opinion it will never be a normal sound. My T is screaming right now and there is no way I can hear it as normal -- and I never expect to (hear it as normal). Nonetheless, I've accepted the fact that I live with an odd sound and, therefore, I don't react to it anymore. T is odd; that is literally the best thing I can say about it -- if I said the worst about it this post would be rated R . The point being, at some point in my life (and not necessarily an intentional or even cognitive point) I simply stopped reacting to it. I observe it at times, I comment on it, I notice it, I talk about it, I never think it is right or normal; but I just can't bring myself to react to it anymore.

I've found we live with many oddities in our lives that we can do nothing about -- and we don't react to them; granted, T is in a class of its own because it can be controlling and annoying but habituation is not a far fetched dream -- and it will be your reality in time.

You will get there -- as hard as it is to believe, you will get there. I didn't think I would ever improve, then it just kind of happened one week -- oddly, it happened after the worst spike I'd ever had (thought I bought the big one). It's such and individual thing.

I always thought T was like that odd neighbor that lives two doors down the street (we all know that neighbor); not much can be done about them -- best not to react to them or focus on them too much (things will go all wrong). They are odd (indeed) yet we live with them all the same.

Like you, I worked at rearranging my life around T. I found it very productive and in good character to learn about points of stress in my life (job, responsibilities, etc.) and make 'some' adjustments; but the important thing that I learned was that it was more about how I dealt with them verses how much I could change or control them. I finally acquiesced to the fact that stress and causes of anxiety will always be there (in one form or another) and that it was more about how I dealt with them (I'm sort of high-strung and tend to fight things). I learned that rearranging my life was only effective to a point (there's a law of diminishing returns there).

I found the intrinsic problem with rearranging your life around T is that it plays right into the hands of what I call the focus-conundrum. You don't want to focus on T but all your efforts end up causing you to focus on your T (and, in fact, actually put it in charge).

Habituation, on the other hand, calls on the power of apathy; you just can't even bring yourself to care anymore. So, I divorced my T and gave back the 'ring' (except T threw it in my face so I still have the ring ).

You will habituate; in your time...until then

Prayers!

Mark

Mark, Thank you very much for your wise words and encouragement.
It is really nice from you all how you help.

 

[Mark McDill]

I tried to go it alone for a month after my ENT blew me off--finally had a meltdown--came here --got some advice and then some meds for sleep and anxiety from my GP. My anxiety was through the roof as I'd only been sleeping 2-3 hours a night for a month and working 40 hours a week. I developed a strategy. I went into CBT therapy and took an anxiety toolkit class that lasted six weeks. I take Xanax--a very low dose three times a day. I had bloodwork to rule out thyroid, diabetes, etc. I had an MRI to rule out any tumors as I have unilateral tinnitus. I just started my 8th month. I am sitting here typing with no masking and I can hear by tinnitus but it doesn't bother me tonight. I stopped masking at work and I try to only mask when I feel myself getting too annoyed. I am no longer fearful of tinnitus. It is a neutral neurological signal that cannot hurt me. It is not personal, it just is. Sometime I don't hear it when I'm busy working or engaged, and sometimes it is very low--maybe one or two days a week. I have taken back my life with the help of the veterans here, Dr. Nagler's advice and my GP--who is a wonderful, caring physician. I still have bad days--each day still is a challenge sometimes but I am living my life and when I get too down, I come here and I post and the members lift me up and keep me going on the road to habituation...I even named my tinnitus as I read that people with chronic pain name it to help in managing it. I talk to 'sylvie'. I'm starting to habituate. That's my strategy. I hope it can help you.

Kathi
What an awesome post! So encouraging.

I love the idea of naming my T; I may go with either Damion or Sybil (cause I don't know how to check the gender of my T )

Mark

 

[Martin69]

Kathi
What an awesome post! So encouraging.

I love the idea of naming my T; I may go with either Damion or Sybil (cause I don't know how to check the gender of my T )

Mark

Mine is RINGO, although I would like a female.
Maybe RINGOLINE.

 

[Kathi]

Kathi
What an awesome post! So encouraging.

I love the idea of naming my T; I may go with either Damion or Sybil (cause I don't know how to check the gender of my T )

Mark

Thanks Mark! I named mine 'sylvie' because that was the name my French professor gave me in college--she made us all take French names--so for 4 years 'sylvie' was me so now sylvie is part of me.

 

[I who love music]

40 years of trial and error -
When I get a spike, I put cotton in for a few days. The T is louder of course but it seems to force it down faster. And when the cotton comes out, AAHHHH. The outside world is loud and clear, for a while anyway. I've been doing this since the 70's - it works for me.

Oh, good food and exercise to combat anxiety.