I will have to address this question in two stages. In the initial stage, it was all hell.
I usually woke up in the morning with loud screaming ultra high pitch tinnitus shrill, something which used to drive my brain into relentless anxiety and panic attacks on auto mode before I was fully awake enough to reason myself out of these attacks. In the first few months, I had to immediately reach for meds, Ativan, Prozac & what have u whenever my loud T woke me up. No amount of will power could stop this process, so much so that I was worrying my doom would be a foregone conclusion. I mean how do you survive something which didn't give you any chance to fight it. The problem was that I had suffered decades of anxiety and panic disorders. My brain tended to react with anxiety/panic mode on life's challenges. So my brain facing these new and alien T sensation had no chance. It was so freaked out by my T (and hyperacusis soon after) that it just caved into panic on auto mode. Each day was a long dark day. Every night when I went to sleep, if I could sleep at all, not wishing to wake up to repeat the 'torture' cycle again. I mean besides dealing with T & H, I also had to deal with repeated episodes of anxiety and panic attacks.
It is not just the ultra high pitch loud tinnitus shrill or the piercingly hurtful hyperacusis, there were also the dreaded symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks. These A & P attack were very alarming and hurtful sensations, with heart attack alike symptoms of chest pain, tightness of chest, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, sore muscles and pains, headaches of all kinds, sharp pain like migraine, tingling pain like being pinned all over the skull, and numb pain with the brain like being enveloped in a fog not able to think clearly. There were nightmares, profuse sweating, strong adrenaline rush, fears & phobia about things & about the future, feeling disoriented, dizzy, lost and helpless. These symptoms coming on auto mode made it very hard to live with my T & H. During the darkest period, day and night, T, H, A, and P all conspired to attack me with great sufferings, both mind and body, causing great despair and inevitable depression and sleeplessness. I had to depend on meds to survive during these dark, dark days. My situation was hopeless and often the big 'S' word was dangling in front of the tired and stressed out mind as it saw no way out, no light whatsoever at the end of that long dark tunnel. I never thought I would recover.
Well, tell me about the worst part about my tinnitus back then. It was all of the above. Now, it is a different story. I have recovered from the nightmare and the horror show. T doesn't scare me anymore and it cannot even get my brain to zoom on it. The brain now hardens to the sound which is still same as loud and screaming high pitch but I don't give a dime. The T nightmare is over for me and I enjoy my life now regardless of what T does any given day. Freedom at last.
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