Why Do People Here Go to Drastic Measures to Protect Themselves?

[Tinker Bell]

It is the other way around - my contribution is in the form of the advice contained in my posts. For that reason, I will not be donating any money.

@Starthrower I suggest you read the first post in
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/learn-from-others-mistakes.29437/

But what if Tinnius Talk would prefer your money to your advice?

 

[Bill Bauer]

But what if Tinnius Talk would prefer your money to your advice?

You can't always get what you want.

 

[Ed209]

Why do you think that?

You have many odd traits and say some disturbing things. I'm not trying to argue, or even be horrible, I'm just trying to be as blunt and honest as possible.

 

[Starthrower]

It is the other way around - my contribution is in the form of the advice contained in my posts. For that reason, I will not be donating any money.

Oh yeah. Right. That is the excuse the other guy always uses. While many people who cannot afford to give - give donations. And you sit back bragging about your financial gains and material things. Others cannot afford a simple doctor's appointment. But they give to keep this site going.

I am on a roll since my time here will probably end soon.

 

[Ed209]

So Ed what shall it be now? Time to pack it up? You are spending such great effort to help people off the board as well as on the board. From my past experiences I had to close off my profile and just settle for talking on the board.

For me, yea. I have always felt really sorry for anyone who is struggling and have always tried my absolute best to help all who I can. That's always been my reason for posting, but it's time to move on I think. Every thread I'm in turns into an argument and I feel like it's a lot of wasted energy. Why am I bothering?

I can't help myself but my efforts are best placed elsewhere. I'm not angry or anything just worn down I suppose.

 

[Starthrower]

I can't help myself but my efforts are best placed elsewhere.

Me too. At the least we tried. Let the Bill Bauers and Michael Leighs have the site for their own purposes.

I became involved with the Wounded Warriors organization a while ago after the passing of my uncle. Watching the funds help them get needed medical and other needs is very gratifying. Enough was raised for one veteran to get a needed leg so he could walk again.

When I try to help our tinnitus newer people I am blocked by those other posts and the person has no idea what is going on. I used to be one of those people in 2002. And it drew me into a very bad place. I just wanted to try to prevent this for someone else.

 

[Bill Bauer]

And you sit back bragging about your financial gains and material things.

One reason I am ok as far as money is concerned is that I think twice before spending it. ProTip: just because you have it does not mean you Have to spend it. [In other words, just because you have Knees, does not mean someone ought to sit on your knees.]

Others cannot afford a simple doctor's appointment. But they give to keep this site going.

Maybe they ought to save their money and use it to see a doctor. Just a crazy idea that needs to get out there.

I have always felt really sorry for anyone who is struggling and have always tried my absolute best to help all who I can.

Same here.

Why am I bothering?

I feel the same way. It is like trying to fight the ocean tide. People want to act recklessly, and some of them will end up learning about the dangers of this behaviour on their own (instead of benefiting from the knowledge generated back when others made the same mistake they are about to do).

Me too. At the least we tried. Let the Bill Bauers and Michael Leighs have the site for their own purposes.

Isn't @Michael Leigh on your side of the argument?

 

[Bill Bauer]

You have many odd traits and say some disturbing things.

I am being open and honest. (I can do that, as I am connecting to this site through a VPN. ) I understand that some cultures are all about pretense and hypocrisy, so someone being open might appear to be strange there.

 

[Starthrower]

Isn't @Michael Leigh on your side of the argument?

Absolutely not. He bragged about putting me on his ignore list because I wasn't worthy - not raised correctly - and other not so nice things.

One reason I am ok as far as money is concerned is that I think twice before spending it. ProTip: just because you have it does not mean you Have to spend it. [In other words, just because you have Knees, does not mean someone ought to sit on your knees.]

Donations @Bill Bauer mean much more than that. It is not spending. It is giving.

 

[Bill Bauer]

It is giving.

I AM giving something worth a lot more - my time. I had already given something like $100,000 worth of my time.

 

[Starthrower]

I AM giving something worth a lot more - my time. I had already given something like $100,000 of my time.

Nope. That is bull shit. I have all kinds of advice yet I still donate because it matters. My words are not a dollar sign.



So we decided to do something. And the rest is a long story.

So screw the idea that your "contribution of advice" makes up for the fact that you could help the site you use so frequently with donations.

As you can read I am done with this. So think about that Bill Bauer.

 

[TracyJS]

@Ed209 @Starthrower
Please reconsider leaving. Your presence here is so needed and so valued and appreciated by me and I know by many others and future others as well.
This forum needs both of you.

 

[dayma]

You stepped out of your are of expertise if you think VPN protects you.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Nope. That is bull shit. I have all kinds of advice yet I still donate because it matters. My words are not a dollar sign.

My words and time are valuable and are worth money.

You stepped out of your are of expertise if you think VPN protects you.

It is a VPN connection ran through another VPN. Would you say that that is reasonably safe?

 

[dayma]

My words and time are valuable and are worth money.

It is a VPN connection ran through another VPN. Would you say that that is safe enough?

That's funny. No

 

[Bill Bauer]

That's funny. No

What is the Achilles' heal?

 

[dayma]

What is the Achilles' heal?

Honestly I should not have brought it up. It's not in scope of this forum. Just happens to be my field when I am not suffering from T

 

[Bill Bauer]

Honestly I should not have brought it up. It's not in scope of this forum. Just happens to be my field when I am not suffering from T

Can't you write a sentence or two giving me a sense of what you think the problem is, so that I can look into it on my own?

 

[dayma]

Can't you write a sentence or two giving me a sense of what you think the problem is, so that I can look into it on my own?

Will PM you.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Will PM you.

Thank you.

 

[threefirefour]

@Ed209 if we all pack it up and leave here - I wonder what would happen? I left the scene for several years because I could not stand what was going on just like in this thread. I wonder if I made the wrong decision now.

But maybe what we say will actually help someone - even though we don't know.

I am tired of Bill Bauer and another tinnitus "expert" psycho on another forum who is now using the passing of a former poster as some sort of proof. In reality that person hated him and everyone knows it. But no one speaks out.

I am ready to take a hike myself right now. Take my noisy brain and poof disappear and forget this part of my life.
Donate money to other causes that need help. Not Tinnitus Talk which I will support even when I am gone. But tinnitus organizations like the ATA who simply have no empathy or respect for people who supported the organization in the past.

This is all so ego driven regarding tinnitus. Jesus Christ it has not changed at all. There are so many games being played right now.

@threefirefour be very very careful. You are being played and used in the game of tinnitus forums.

@Bill Bauer if you want to continue to take over this site with your attitude than you should fork up a big donation to Tinnitus Talk for taking up so much space.

@those who chose to put me on the ignore list.....you are no better. Put up donations if you want to take over this site with your views that are supposed to be the Holy Grail of Tinnitus.

No wonder tinnitus sufferers are confused.

So Ed what shall it be now? Time to pack it up? You are spending such great effort to help people off the board as well as on the board. From my past experiences I had to close off my profile and just settle for talking on the board.

This may be an odd question, but why do you think I'm being used in a game of tinnitus forums?

 

[Bill Bauer]

@dayma has been very helpful. It would appear that VPNs are useful to keep you safe from everyone, except the authorities that are going all out in order to identify and find you. Perfect.

 

[Samantha R]

@Ed209 @Starthrower
Please don't leave guys. You are a great support and inspiration to sufferers, level heads and I like you guys!
There may be the odd individual that cannot expose themselves to much noise without further damage (like the person Bill is talking about), but surely these people are the exceptions and not the rule.
So I think the advice of being careful is wise, but not overprotecting and becoming a hermit.

 

[glynis]

@Ed209 , @Starthrower ,
I hope you stay as both are valuable members to Tinnitus Talk.

Forums will have members with strong views and personalities and stick by what they believe in and somietimes this can cause conflict in posts to members who have there own views even though the same intention is to give support.
Members need to remember eachothers views are not like commandments but ther own strong views like my own.
Members after advice need to take out of replies the advice that they can relate to but again it is our on view and at times members views will clash and a debate will get going between them and normal on forum's .
love glynis x

 

[Ed209]

I AM giving something worth a lot more - my time. I had already given something like $100,000 worth of my time.

Come on, Bill, that's hilarious. You can't honestly think that can you? I donated to a cancer charity the other day as I'm sure my money will help support the amazing work they do. My time, in this scenario, wouldn't help fund the real work on the ground that can and is being achieved.

The very same thing can be said about tinnitus charities, and TT. Money donated to organisations looking for a cure objectively helps the cause. It's not hard to understand why there's no money though is it? No one cares. Actually no, scratch that, people care but not enough to do anything about it.

You say your time here is worth $100,000; this to me further highlights how much you think of yourself and further demonstrates what I said about you earlier. Most people who post here are totally selfless and wouldn't even dream about putting a value on their time. Posted contributions to a community are a totally separate (but very important) part of what makes a place successful. However, a donation is entirely different. There wouldn't be anywhere to post in the first place if all the admin and server costs weren't covered (and this costs a lot of money!). So, donations make a monumental difference because they keep this place alive and also help advance the tinnitus cause. Your main value is to scare people shitless all day and you rate this at a value of $100,000!! Take a day off, Bill, blimey. Save yourself some of this contribution time and convert it into real money and give it to a charity that may actually help advance tinnitus research and awareness.

 

[Autumnly]

Honestly, this time I'm a bit surprised what this thread turned into. The simple question was: why do some people with tinnitus go to such lengths to protect themselves?

Some people are overwhelmed by fear like Ed said. Others struggle with hyperacusis. Other people have different reasons and not every reason is based on fear.

"Is your tinnitus that terrible that it doesn't allow you to live a normal life? " - Yeah, for me it is. But then the question becomes: can tinnitus actually be debilitating? And for me it is. If other people can cope with severe tinnitus, that's great! Share your stories but I also need to share mine.

I agree with most that Ed has said, I just think that this wasn't the thread for it, though I understand that he simply wants to help people that struggle with phonophobia. I just think that fear of sound isn't the only reason.

 

[Ed209]

Honestly, this time I'm a bit surprised what this thread turned into. The simple question was: why do some people with tinnitus go to such lengths to protect themselves?

Some people are overwhelmed by fear like Ed said. Others struggle with hyperacusis. Other people have different reasons and not every reason is based on fear.

"Is your tinnitus that terrible that it doesn't allow you to live a normal life? " - Yeah, for me it is. But then the question becomes: can tinnitus actually be debilitating? And for me it is. If other people can cope with severe tinnitus, that's great! Share your stories but I also need to share mine.

I agree with most that Ed has said, I just think that this wasn't the thread for it, though I understand that he simply wants to help people that struggle with phonophobia. I just think that fear of sound isn't the only reason.

I totally agree. However, if you could read half of my PMs you'd realise why I've been so vocal, but you are absolutely right: I've gone too far and the thread has been derailed, so I apologise. But I can't sit by and have people suffer because of this toxic mindset that is being preached. You are also right that we are all unique and face different problems. However, I draw a line when people start losing their minds over birds chirping outside their house, the sound of people talking in their kitchen, and conversation in a restaurant terrace whilst wearing earplugs. Let's not further mess with people's heads. We don't need protection around the clock. Most sounds that we are exposed to are nothing to worry about, so plug up when it's loud, but don't get emotionally obsessed with sound.

 

[Samantha R]

@Ed209
Yes from me for the tinnitus fundraiser. Great idea. TRI do great work as a suggestion, so I'd be in that for sure.
I give to them on a regular basis, but always happy to chip in more.
I love your proactiveness.

 

[Julien87]

The choice is the above, versus a very real risk of a lifelong debilitating T which would be a cost that one would have to pay for a couple of hours of "fun" (not sure how enjoyable it can be if one knows what is at stake).

The problem is that you see a "very real risk" everywhere Bill, even when there is actually very little to no risk. If taking a shower or using a blender without protection would be a "real risk", the millions of tinnitus sufferers around the world would have severe debilitating tinnitus.

Promoting extreme safety in life will lead people to live like inmates. Because there is a small risk in almost every little thing we do. What about food poisoning? Isn't it a real risk? Should we advise people not to eat anymore? Because in some cases it can even lead you to death you know. And come on, would you rather spend 5 minutes of enjoying a lovely meal or stay alive? (I know you love those kinds of dilemnas). Are you willing to take the risk? Of course you take this risk. Because it is a very little risk, and if we are afraid of even the smallest risks we do not live anymore.

The key is knowing how risky things are for us. A concert is a real threat. A balloon exploding or a gunshot is a real theat too. But a blender or a shower, not really.. They could be a threat but their impact is very unlikely. In the way you present things, you often give the feeling that the worst WILL happen if one does this or that. And that can put people in very fragile states.

Also, the level of risk can be different according to people. What can cause a spike for you will not cause a spike for other people. It's important to take this into account and to sometimes remind it.

 

[Bill Bauer]

The problem is that you see a "very real risk" everywhere Bill, even when there is actually very little to no risk.

Very real risk means that the risk is greater than zero and non-negligeable.

If taking a shower or using a blender without protection would be a "real risk", the millions of tinnitus sufferers around the world would have severe debilitating tinnitus.

If you read my posts carefully, you will see that I was talking about both healing and getting one's T louder.

If a person who feels that that a shower is too loud, keeps taking showers without protection, there is a nonnegibeable risk that they are interfering with their recovery. Being exposed to the noise of blenders exposes one to a risk of their T not fading or getting louder (who said that it Has to get into that debilitating territory).

Because there is a small risk in almost every little thing we do. What about food poisoning? Isn't it a real risk?

To me, loud T is equivalent to being burned alive (for decades). So a relatively low risk of something that horrific crosses the threshold of being unacceptable. Other things (something which carries the risk of a quick death, or an even more minor risk) are not nearly as bad, so their probability needs to be higher before the risk becomes unacceptable.

In the way you present things, you often give the feeling that the worst WILL happen if one does this or that. And that can put people in very fragile states.

I had provided the clarification above on numerous occasions. I am glad I had a chance to provide it again.