randomuser
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  • Changing jobs, changing city, stress skyrocketing and louder t as a welcome gift. Still some days is up and some days down, but spikes suck.
    How are you going with the Zoloft? Any improvement?
    randomuser
    Luckly, yes. I feel much better now. I'm trying to avoid forums and focus on my life, I have a lot of things going on and t should be the less of my worries. Thanks for asking.
    Tamika
    That is great news. A success story
    Rock bottom. Zoloft or death. Wish me luck.
    Blackbird26
    Good luck! I am sorry you're in such a bad place ..it will get better
    uae96
    you live in an amazing country man! spain ! ive been there many times , get out to places more and meet new people if you do not have hyperacusis , going out will help alot on depression and youre country is the right place for it!
    randomuser
    Just came back from the pdoc. As expected, he has given zoloft to me, low dose. I expect a slight spike or nothing, but I need urgently to lift my mood. Will keep you updated.
    I'm starting to become a burden to my family... this is far worse than t and all the suffering
    I'd like to be strong enough to end it all
    randomuser
    Yes, SUICIDE, t is louder than ever, withdrawal is kicking me hard and my brain is not ready for more shit (ssris). I can't stand this anymore, seriously, wanna die. I'm not an attention whore, just a human wreck :(
    randomuser
    Probably is not only T, but many other things, but obviously T is a major player in this shit storm.
    Bran350
    I know it's tough man. My dad has had it for over 20 years, and myself 24, managed to get this crap. My situation sounds very similar to yours in regards to T and life in general and I am more than happy to talk anytime man. I know it's rough.
    Today is slightly louder on my left ear, wtf is this shit? Why this f* t keeps changing daily?
    randomuser
    Btw I really wonder if this thing called "habituation" applies to people with ocd and unstable t. Just asking.
    Sgguy46
    at some point, we all have to accept that it will change when it wants to and there is nothing much we can do about that. We can only control our reaction. I know it is hard. Trust me ,,, i know it is hard.
    randomuser
    Some days, like today, I feel like life's not worth living. But I'm a coward.
    Hi there! ranting again! tired of this endless shit! After few good days, bad days strike again. Damned benzos and stress and stuff.
    Feeling down again, hopeless. I see no exit to this endless suffering, and lack of light doesn't help.
    randomuser
    Mine is unmaskable. Its absolute volume is low, but I can hear it over everything, either white noise, crickets, rain, trucks or whatever. It's like ambient noise + t (5 db?). Only in the shower.

    Anyway, I am resigned to suffer, life can be good or bad, or worse, I have to accept that my destiny is not to be happy.
    Sailboardman
    My T can be heard clearly, driving in my car, windows open and radio on. I have severe hearing loss in my right ear at 65-70db, from 2-8K. Standard test. My T has been measured around 65db. My hearing aid masker is set at 65db and I sometimes can't hear it over my T. It sucks!
    randomuser
    I have no hearling loss. Well, I can't hear anything above 12 kHz, but since I'm 37 it might be related to age. I abused fireworks in my childhood.
    As every single f***ing day, here I am ranting. Want to end this all, but I can't. God help me please.
    randomuser
    Yesterday the noise was tolerable, today is not. Can't swallow a "magic pill" for anxiety. Stuck at work. Only want to stay in bed relaxing, but I can't. F**k my life.
    Back to square zero. I can't believe this is due to withdrawal, I don't buy it, no way, feeling worse every single day.
    randomuser
    Today the noise is fairly low, like 2/10, but the anxiety and depression is skyrocketing. And I'm now at work making mistake after mistake.
    The solution is not here, and I keep coming here for a solution. Get over it, damnit!!!!!
    randomuser
    The problem is that I feel that I wont be any better after tapering, t will still be here and no klonopin to alleviate, am I right? Thinking on opening a thread
    Blackbird26
    Well true...but take into account the healing your brain will undergo once that damn drug is gone..It takes time but for all you know your t will fade or you will habituate kpin free!
    randomuser
    Well, my dose is ridiculously low and only had minor spikes, I would like to be confident that it will either get better or stay the same. This is extremely important.
    So, if things dont improve in several days, travel to Spain, appointment with a neurologist and Trobalt. I can't do anything else.
    randomuser
    And about the neurologist, if you are under medical control it's safer, losing a kidney is far far worse than having a ringing in your ears... i have also extremely mild floaters and an increase would be as bad as a tinnitus, altough you can "switch off" your floaters easily.
    randomuser
    I read that some users are getting a t worsening after quitting Trobalt, so now it's not an option. Better suffer than suffer more and more. S****
    randomuser
    And things are not improving at all and I am scared of trobalt, endless suffering, why????
    Shit, sleepless night, roaring ears and absolute desperation. The aut affair has affected me a lot, I see no hope and don't know what to do
    OnceUponaTime
    Go figure... I was cooking up a storm because I found that that helped me relax! And also talking to people helped me...Try to find something you enjoy and that helps you relax. Try to take chamomile tea a couple of times a day.. also Tension Tamer (helps my husband) I do not like the flavor...lol
    randomuser
    I work as a research scientist (nothing related to T btw), and I also enjoy cooking, the background noise masks my T perfectly :D. I had a bad day, tonight my little T is almost gone, as happens most days, and my fears of worsening due to withdrawal are slowly but surely disappearing. Sometimes I have a linden infusion to help with sleep.
    Blame the benzos!!
    OnceUponaTime
    Ok then.. let the cooking begin! Research Scientist...u should start researching RTG in your downstairs secret lab!!!!! lol....You should be better in no time! :)
    Logging off. See you in a while, I am going to do my best not to enter in at least one month.
    randomuser
    Nothing, linden but doesn't do anything at all. Tonight will sleep for sure, I'm quite tired right now.
    randomuser
    And, ladies and gentlemans, my promise has been broken after few hours. Ahhh the anxiety.
    OnceUponaTime
    :) It is ok. I guess we kept you by asking you questions. I will pray that you may sleep well through the night again and that your body can be refreshed and awake full of energy and health. :) I take chamomile tea a couple of times a day and I take Calms Forte to help me relax. (all natural and I sleep well ) I buy it at vitacost.com. Hope today is better than yesterday.
    I should stop visiting here, seriously, is doing more harm than good. There is an atmosphere of absolute despair and hopelessness.
    randomuser
    Yeah, land of sun and beaches and cuts in research lol
    Blackbird26
    Sun and beaches....what more you need? ;) I love the beach..and the sun..I always do better in summer
    randomuser
    Me too. Autumn is sad, such a short days and lack of light, especially un north europeos. Where are you from?
    What have I done to deserve this??? Why can't I handle a very mild T, I was doing fine 3-4 months ago and now i'm completely unable to cope.
    Fucked up. Don't know if is the AUT affair despair, the depression, the autumn, the noise, the benzo withdrawal or whatever.
    randomuser
    Btw I am withdrawing from clonazepam with liquid titration, I use rivotril (liquid) and is really easy to adjust up to the microgram. I was at 0.5 mg for 12 months and withdrawing since (beginning of 2014)
    Blackbird26
    that's good..you are proceeding correctly. .unfortunately yes, insomnia is a major first symptom of w/d from kpin...don't be scared just know you may need to switch to V for awhile.
    randomuser
    I prefer to end taper with K, i'm micro-tapering and it's better to continue this way. Yesterday was crap, scared, crying and desperate. Endless suffering, my personality is also prone to this kind of negative toughts.
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